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UTOIDENTS 



AI^D AI^ECDOTES 



CIVIL WAR. 



ADMIRAL PORTER, 

AtTTHOB OF "ALLAH DABS AND BOBEBT Ut DLABLE," ETC. 



>4S^£, 




^^rHarr^ r LIBRARY 






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NEW YORK: 
D. APPLETON AND COMPANY, 

1, 3, AND 5 BOND STREET. 
1885. 






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COPTKIGHT, 1SS5, 

By D. APPLETON AND COMPANY. 



All rights reserved. 



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CONTENTS. 



PA6B 
CHAPTER 

I— Rejoicings in Washington at the Secession of South Caro- 

7 
lilNA ' 

n.— Plan to save Fort Pickens— Disloyalty in the Naatst De- 
partment—Stealing A March on the Secretary of the 

Navy ^^ 

in.— Incidents at Pensacola— Two Distinguished Travelers who 
Prove to be Old Acquaintances — A Memorable Break- 
fast " 

IV.— Delay at Pensacola— Attack on Fort Morgan— Pensacola 
Abandoned— A Remarkable Specimen of a Southern Union- 
ist ^^ 

v.— The Attack on New Orleans— Surrender of the Forts — 

The Ironclad Louisiana 47 

VI.— Ericsson and the Monitor— An Interview with the Great 

Engineer 57 

VII. Plans for the Capture of New Orleans — Conduct of the 

People on our Taking Possession of the City— General 

Butler's Administration 63 

VIII.— Ascending the Mississippi— Odd Specimens of Confederates 

— A Plantation Mansion— Doubting Moses .... 82 

IX. — Plans for the Capture of Vicksburg— Unfortunate De- 
lays—The Mortar Boats at Vicksburg — A Spy and an 

Attempted Surprise 95 

X. — Return Down the Mississippi — Passing Natchez — A Rose in 

the Desert l""* 

XL— On Board the Harriet Lane— Cockpit Battery— Standing 
BY the Country's Flag — Lee, First Lieutenant op the 
Harriet Lane— His Sense of Duty— Slaughter on Board 
— Havoc of Revolutions 108 

XII.— In "Washington— Scene at a Newport. R. I., Club— Slan- 
dered BY A Woman — Indignities to General Stone — Visit 
to President Lincoln— Mr. Seward— Appointed to Com- 
mand THE Mississippi Squadron— General McClernand . 114 



4 CONTENTS. 

OHAPTEB PAOB 

XIII. — Interview with General Grant at Cairo — First Meeting 
WITH General Sherman — Our Flag Hoisted over Arkan- 
sas Post — General Grant and the Siege of Vicksburg — 
Hoax on the Vicksburgers 124 

XIV. — General Grant's Plans for Taking Vicksburg — The Yazoo 
Pass Expedition — Naval Evolutions in the Woods — Piles 
OF Cotton Burned by the Confederates — Mr. Tub, the 
Telegram-wire Man — The Pass at Rolling Fork — End of 

the Steele Bayou Expedition 136 

XV. — A Council of War— Passage of the Fleet by the Bat- 
teries of Vicksburg — General Sherman Visits the Fleet 
IN its Passage — Wooden Guns on Cart-wheels — A Hand- 
ful of Corn and a Dead Confederate Soldier . . . 174 

XVI. — Naval Battle at Grand Gulf — Three Commissioners from 
Washington to Examine into the Conduct of Affairs — 
One op the Commissioners in a " Long Shirt " — Tar and 
Feathers — Landing of the Army at Bruensburg — Amus- 
ing Story op an Iowa Regiment — First Meeting with 
General A. J. Smith — A Confederate Ram .... 180 

XVII. — Siege of Vicksburg 188 

XVIII. — A Chief of Staff and a Chief Cook — Democratic Meeting 

IN THE Backwoods of "Egypt" — A John Gilpin Race . 201 

XIX. — Sherman Starts from Memphis to go to Chattanooga — Finds 
A Thirty-pound Shot in his Stomach — The Navy Relieve 
Him — Bridges and Ferry-boats in Abundance — Reaches 

Chattanooga in Time 208 

XX. — Who Started the Red River Expedition ? — Japhet in Search 
of a Father — General A. J. Smith makes a Forced March 
of Thirty-two Miles — Captures Fort De Russy — Second 
Capture of Alexandria — General Banks arrives in his 
Headquarters Boat, Black Hawk — Champagne and Cot- 
ton Bagging — A Derelict Hospital Steward — A Review 
op " Ragged Guerrillas " — A. J. SxMith's Soldiers criticise 
Banks's Army — Tears won't make Soup, Chicken "Will — I 

HOPE You ENJOY YOURSELP ON MY HoRSE — MrS. HoLMES 

gives the Admiral a Good Character — Mrs. Holmes's 
Story about the Cotton Trade — The Navy becomes De- 
moralized — Blocked Out at Shreveport River — Gun-boats 
Turn Back in their Tracks — Banks Defeated — The Navy 
Defeats General Green's Army — The General's Head 
Shot Off — A Horse with a Headless Rider — Safe Ar- 
rival at Grand Ecore — Banks Born under a Lucky 

Star 213 

XXI. — The Army Propose to Move away from Grand Ecore — Sink- 
ing OF the Eastport — Pump her up — Eastport blown up 
— The Cricket comes to Grief — Gun-boat Fleet Caught 
IN A Dilemma — Providence Supplies the Man to Relieve 
Them — A Row with a Military Governor .... 238 



CONTENTS. 5 

OHAPTBB PAOH 

XXIL— Take Command of North Atlantic Squadron — Renew an 
Old Acquaintance — A Visit from General Butler — The 
General's Flag-Ship blown up — Save the General from 
A Ducking — The General visits the Malvern with a 
Plan of Powder-Boat to blow up Fort Fisher — An En- 
sign sets the Plan to Music and Rhyme — A Steamer and 
One Hundred and Fifty Tons of Powder required to 
do the Work — The Admiral, in the Excitement of the 
Moment, Telegraphs for Fifteen Thousand Tons of Pow- 
der — The Chief of Bureau of Ordnance offers him Mount 
Vesuvius and Niagara Falls to do the Work with — The 
Powder-Boat Disturbs the Sentinels at Fort Fisher — 
Fort Fisher does not blow up worth a Cent — A Trap 
set for Blockade-Runners — An Irish Torpedo-Boat — Fall 

of Wilmington 261 

XXIII. — The President visits City Point — Becomes a Guest on the 
Malvern — Anxiety to have the Army Move on the Ene- 
my's Works — Two Miracles — Evacuation of Petersburg — 
Three Little Kittens — President Refuses to see Vice- 
President Johnson and Preston King — How Much will 
You Take for that Trick? — Visit to Petersburg — Three 
Cheers for Uncle Abe — Can't We Make a Noise? — Four 
Confederate Ironclads blown up — The President Visits 
Richmond — An Ovation Worthy of an Emperor — A Negro 
Patriarch — Entrance into Richmond — A Bouquet of Flow- 
ers from a Pretty Girl — President Lincoln in President 
Davis's Mansion — Return on Board the Malvern — A Visit 
from the late Justice Campbell — A Visit from Duff 
Green — Complications — Return to City Point — A General 

WHO WENT off IN A FiZZLE 281 

XXIV. — General Sherman Arrives at Goldsboro' — Sherman Calls 
ON THE President — Council on Board the River Queen — 
President Lincoln's kind Intentions toward the Confed- 
erate Armies — Let Them have their Horses to Plow 

WITH, AND their MuSKETS TO ShOOT CrOWS WITH — " ThERE 

ARE NO Southern Railroads; my Bummers have Taken 

THEM ALL UP " — WhY SuCH A HoWL AT THE NoRTH ? — LeE 

Surrenders — The President returns to Washington — Send 
Officers with Him to Protect his Person — His Death — 
There Lies the Best Man I ever Knew .... 313 
XXV. — Corporal Foster and his Dog 320 



INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES 
OF THE CIVIL WAR. 



CHAPTER I. 



REJOICINGS m WASHIN-GTON- AT THE SECESSI02T OF SOUTH 

CAROLINA. 

During the Presidency of James Buchanan, and just previous 
to the inauguration of Mr. Lincoln, I was ordered to the command 
of the Coast-Survey steamer Active on the Pacific coast. 

I could not conceive why I was thus ordered, except that ships 
and officers were at that period being sent out of the way. This, 
too, at a time when the Southern States were threatening to secede, 
and it seemed probable the Government would require the services 
of all its officers to maintain the integrity of the Union. 

At that moment I was in a despondent frame of mind, and 
troubled with the most gloomy forebodings. I felt that a crisis was 
impending that might influence all my prospects in life and cast 
me upon the world without resources and with a large dependent 

family. 

I sought consolation by visiting the houses of Southern members 
of Congress in Washington whom I knew, but obtained little satis- 
faction from the sentiments I there heard expressed. 

One night in December, 1860, on my way home from a visit to 
Congress, where I had listened to a great deal of incendiary lan- 
guage from Southern members and plenty of vituperation from 
Northern ones, a gentleman met me in the street and informed me 
of the secession of South Carolina. 

The news, though not unexpected, was startling, and, viewing 



8 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

the matter in the most philosophical light possible, I proceeded 
homeward to carry the unpleasant intelligence. 

On my way I had to pass the house of a distinguished Southern 
gentleman whom I knew well and for whom I entertained a high 
regard. I had always heard him discuss the questions at issue be- 
tween the North and South in the most dispassionate manner, what- 
ever may have been his course in Congress. 

There were a dozen carriages standing before the door, and the 
house was all ablaze with lights, making the interior look cheerful 
enough, while a drizzling rain rendered everything gloomy without. 
Those were not the days of well-lighted streets and asphalt pave- 
ments. Washington was a city of muddy highways, and corpora- 
tion moonlight was more frequent than convenient. 

As I entered the mansion the lady of the house, in bonnet and 
shawl, was descending the stairs. She was a magnificent woman, 
greatly esteemed in Washington society for her genial manner, and 
admired for her wit and intellect. Had she aspired to do so, this 
lady might have been the leader of fashion in the Federal capital, 
but I do not think her ambition ran in that direction. She had a 
small and select circle of friends, mostly Southern people, and chiefly 
affected politics. 

Her heart was fixed on what she called the emancipation of the 
South from Northern thralldom, and with her handsome person and 
dignified bearing she seemed worthy to occupy the loftiest position. 
As this lady saw me she exclaimed, ''Ah, captain" — for so she 
always called me — " I am so glad to see you ! I want you to escort 
me to the White House. The horses are sick, and I am going to 
walk over." 

"It is impossible for you to walk," I replied, "through the rain 
and mud ; but there are ten or twelve hacks at the door, and I will 
press one of them into your service. " So saying, I called a carriage, 
helped the lady in, and got in after her. 

"I was under the impression," I said, as we started, "that you 
were having a party at your house, seeing it so briUiantly lighted 
up, and I thought I would venture in uninvited." 

"No, indeed," she replied, "but we have received glorious news 
from the South, and my husband's friends are calling to congratu- 
late him. South Carolina has seceded, and, captain ! " she con- 
tinued, with increasing fervor, "we will have a glorious monarchy, 
and you must join us ! " 

"Yes," I said, "and be made Duke of Benedict Arnold." 



WASHINGTON BEFORE THE REBELLION. 9 

"Nonsense!" she exclaimed, "but we will make you an ad- 
miral." 

"Certainly," I replied, "Admiral of the Blue, for I should feel 
blue enough to see everything turned upside down, and our boasted 
liberty and civilization whistled down the wind." 

"What would you have?" she inquired. "Would you have 
us tamely submit to all the indignities the North have put upon us, 
and place our necks under their feet ? Why, this very day my 
blood fairly boiled while I was in Congress, and I could scarcely 

contain myself. That old Black Eepublican, Mr. , was berating 

the Southern people as if they were a pack of naughty children. 
However, I was indemnified in the end, for Mr. Ehett took the 
floor and gave the man such a castigation that he slunk away and 
was no more heard from. We can stand these outrages no longer, 
and will take refuge in a monarchy — a glorious monarchy ! " 

"Of course you will be queen," I said. "Well, I should be 
happy to serve under such a beautiful majesty, but somehow I like 
this homely republicanism under which I have been brought up, 
and so I will stick to it ; but don't repeat to others what you have 
said to me, for it might compromise your husband." 

"Ah," she exclaimed, "he thinks as I do ! " 

Just then we reached the White House. I helped the lady from 
the carriage and escorted her into the great hall. I proposed to 
take my leave, but she insisted on my remaining, saying, "I want 
to tell the President the good news." 

Heavens and earth ! thought I, what will happen next ? *^No, 
thank you," I said, "I will take some other opportunity to see the 
President," and, taking my leave of the lady, I went out and never 
saw her afterward. 

I rode back to the house to return the borrowed carriage, and, 
when I reached the door, heard sounds of merriment issuing from 
the mansion, and was induced to step into the parlor. 

As I entered I was welcomed with boisterous shouts by a dozen 
gentlemen, only two of whom I had ever met before. They em- 
braced me, and insisted on my drinking with them, but this I de- 
clined, thinking there had been too much drinking already. 

I can only compare the scene to Pandemonium. 

" The people all acted like the Jacks at the Nore, 
And ran the Palmetto flag up to the fore, 
"Where all ranted and raved, and their language, dear! 
"Was so full of billingsgate 'twas shocking to hear. 



10 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

Cooney and lawyer, politician and sage, 
And the craziest men of the palmetto age, 

"With defiant looks, 

Full of crotchets and crooks. 
Were chafing and swearing and scowling so black 
As hosts sometimes do when the dinner's put back. 
Yet few of the folks at that chivalric fair 
Seemed willing to think — nor a curse did they care — 
That a sword hung over them just by a hair. 
Old Clootie was there, and said all was right ; 
'Twas he held the bottle, and urged on the tight, 

And stood up in his place, 

With his stoical face, 
His hands meekly folded, as if he'd say grace. 
While Rebellion was moving at an awful fast pace." 

The only person who seemed to preserve his equanimity was the 
master of the house, who sat, calm and smiling, conversing with an 
uproarious friend who had partaken deeply of the flowing bowl. 

When I had an opportunity I asked the host quietly if there was 
anything in this excitement, and if it could be possible that the 
Southern States would secede. "What more do they want?" I 
inquired. " They have a majority in the Senate and in the House, 
and, with the Supreme Court on their side, they can make laws to 
suit themselves." 

*' Yes," he replied, his bright eye almost looking through me, 
"most people would be satisfied with that. 

*' * Better to sujffer from the ills we have. 
Than fly to others that we wot not of.' 

" But you will join us," he continued, " and we will make you 
an admiral." 

"Thank you," said I, "but I am going to the California gold- 
mines, and when the South and the North have done quarreling, 
and all you seceders have come back and taken your seats in Con- 
gress, I will join the navy again." 

" You must join «5," he said, " for we will have a navy to be 
proud of." 

A few weeks later my friends left Washington for the South, 
regretted by all who knew them. Their house had been the ren- 
dezvous of the most brilliant and refined persons at the capital. 
The clever women of the South met there to discuss the prospects 



WASHINGTON BEFORE THE REBELLION. H 

of a Southern confederacy or monarchy, and to urge on their slow- 
moving husbands in what they considered the path of duty. 

These ladies saw in the distance the gleam of the coronets that 
were to Qncircle their fair brows, and certainly none were more fitted, 
by the graces of mind and person, to wear them than the beautiful 
Southern women who formed the bright galaxy of stars in Wash- 
ington society. 

As to the lady whom I accompanied to the White House, she 
shone, like Venus, brighter than all the other planets, and her de- 
parture cast a gloom over the firesides of the friends she left behind 
in Washington, soon to be overshadowed by the stirring scenes at 
the outbreak of the civil war — the tramp of legions of soldiers 
through quiet streets where, since the rebuilding of the Capitol, had 
been heard nothing more stirring than 

" Sounds of revelry by night," f^^ Ll B R AR Y 

or the simple pageants which accompanied the President to and 
from the Capitol at the quadrennial inauguration. ^*"^-^^^Sii=ii;ii^*^""" 

No wonder the capital and its surroundings seemed stupid to 
these vivacious Southerners, and that their hearts were not satisfied 
with our plain republican trappings. 

An opera-house or two, half a dozen fine theatres, and a court, 
or the semblance of one, at the White House — something more in 
the style of the present day — might have prevented the catastrophe 
which overwhelmed both North and South. 

The Eomans understood these things better than we. They 
omitted nothing to keep the people amused ; they even had the 
street fountains at times run with wine, and the investment was 
worth the money spent. 

But what could one expect at a court presided over by an old 
bachelor whose heart was dead to poetry and love ; who sat at din- 
ner with no flowers to grace the festive board, and never even wore 
a boutonniere on his coat-lapel ; who eschewed everything like offi- 
cial state, and was content to live out his term of office in plain 
republican simplicity ? 

What was there to attract charming women to an administra- 
tion like that of Abraham Lincoln, conducted with even more sim- 
plicity than that of his predecessor, and only to be appreciated by 
sturdy republicans that despised all the vanities of a court and 
took no stock in monarchy ? / 



12 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

Barren and dreary as the fair Southerners left the city of Wash- 
ington — to which they intended to return when a Southern court 
should be established — it has since risen from its ashes like a Phoe- 
nix, and blooms as it never did before. 

The angels of heaven smile serenely over the happy meeting 
of those who did all they could to imbrue their hands in each other's 
blood, but she who once moved radiant amid the throng is still ab- 
sent from the Federal capital. 

" She was superb — at least so she was thirty summers ago — 
As soft and as sallow as autumn, with hair 
Neither black nor yet brown, but that tint which the air 
Takes at eve in September, when night lingers lone 
Through a vineyard, from beams of a slow-setting sun ; 
Eyes the wistful gazelle's, the fine foot of a fairy, 
A voice soft and sweet as a tune that one knows. 
Something in her there was set you to thinking of those 
Strange backgrounds of Raphael, that hectic and deep 
Brief twilight in which Southern suns fall asleep. 
Thou abidest and reignest forever, O Queen 
Of that better world which thou swayest unseen." 

It is not my intention at this late day to reflect upon the mo- 
tives of those whose acts brought about such desolation. Let them 
rest in peace, and may the future bring back to us those who once 
formed the most refined and delightful society at the capital. 

They will find the Federal city improved and beautified, ready to 
receive them with warm hearts and friendly greetings. The capital 
will smile as of yore when the bright galaxy of Southern ladies 
which once illumined its halls again take their places in a society 
they are so well fitted to adorn. 

And those clever men of the South — the successors of the great 
statesmen who played such a prominent part in our early history — 
may they realize the task before them of reconstructing their sev- 
eral States and making their people feel that we all belong to one 
country, which, if united, can be made the grandest in the world. 



INTERVIEW WITH MR. SEWARD. 13 



CHAPTER II. 

PLAN TO SAVE FOKT PICKENS — DISLOYALTY IN THE NAVY DE- 
PARTMENT — STEALING A MARCH ON THE SECRETARY OF THE 
NAVY. 

Mr. Lincoln had been installed in the Presidential office, and 
the subject of relieving Fort Sumter was under discussion. A 
small squadron was being fitted out for the supposed purpose of 
relieving the fort, the final action of which was to be guided by 
Mr. G. V. Fox, afterward Assistant Secretary of the Navy. 

My orders to California were still hanging over me, and I had 
even engaged my passage in the steamer from New York, and was 
taking my last meal with my family, when a carriage drove up to 
the door. 

It brought a note from the Secretary of State (Mr. Seward), re- 
questing me to call and see him without delay ; so, leaving my din- 
ner unfinished, I jumped into the carriage and drove at once to the 
Secretary's office. 

I found Mr. Seward lying on his back on a sofa, with his knees 
up, reading a lengthy document. 

Without changing his position he said to me, " Can you tell me 
how we can save Fort Pickens from falling into the hands of the 
rebels ? " 

I answered, promptly, "I can, sir." 

" Then," said the Secretary, " you are the man I want, if you 
can do it." 

" I can do it," I said, as Mr. Seward rose to his feet. 

Those familiar with the history of that period will remember 
that Lieutenant Slemmer was holding Fort Pickens with a small 
force and had refused the summons of General Bragg to surrender, 
and all the naval guns and munitions of war that had fallen into 
the Confederates' hands were being placed in positioA behind earth- 
works, preparatory to opening on the Union lines. 

It was to save Slemmer and the Union works that made Mr. 
Seward so interested in this affair. 

"Now, come," said Mr. Seward, *'tell me how you will save 
that place." 

I had talked with Captain (now General) Meigs a few days be- 



14 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

fore about this matter. That officer broached the subject to me, 
and it appears first suggested the matter to Mr. Seward, and the 
latter, being anxious to show the Southerners that the Government 
had a right to hold its own forts, and seeing the likelihood of our 
losing Fort Sumter, listened very kindly to Captain Meigs's sugges- 
tions. 

Our plan was to get a good-sized steamer and six or seven com- 
panies of soldiers, and to carry the latter, with a number of large 
guns and a quantity of munitions of war, to Fort Pickens, land 
them on the outside of the fort under the guns of a ship of war, 
and the fort would soon be made impregnable — that was all. 

I repeated this to Mr. Seward, and said to him, " Give me 
command of the Powhatan, now lying at New York ready for sea, 
and I will guarantee that everything shall be done without a mis- 
take." 

Mr. Seward listened attentively, and, when I had finished what 
I had to say, he invited Captain Meigs — who had come in in the 
mean time — and myself to accompany him to the President. 

When we arrived at the White House, Mr. Lincoln — who 
seemed to be aware of our errand — opened the conversation. 

" Tell me," said he, " how we can prevent Fort Pickens from 
falling into the hands of the rebels, for if Slemmer is not at once 
relieved there will be no holding it. Pensacola would be a very 
important place for the Southerners, and if they once get posses- 
sion of Pickens, and fortify it, we have no navy to take it from 
them." 

" Mr. President," said I, " there is a queer state of things ex- 
isting in the Navy Department at this time. Mr. Welles is sur- 
rounded by officers and clerks, some of whom are disloyal at heart, 
and if the orders for this expedition should emanate from the 
Secretary of the Navy, and pass through all the department red 
tape, the news would be at once flashed over the wires, and Fort 
Pickens would be lost for ever. But if you will issue all the or- 
ders from the Executive Mansion, and let me proceed to New York 
with them, I will guarantee their prompt execution to the letter." 

" But," said the President, " is not this a most irregular mode 
of proceeding ? " 

" Certainly," I replied, *' but the necessity of the case justi- 
fies it." 

" You are commander-in-chief of the army and navy," said Mr. 
Seward to the President, " and this is a case where it is necessary 



MR. SEWARD TAKES THE INITIATIVE. 15 

to issue direct orders without passing them through intermedia- 
ries." 

'* But what will Uncle Gideon say ? " inquired the President. 

" Oh, I will make it all right with Mr. Welles," said the Secre- 
tary of State. " This is the only way, sir, the thing can be done." 

At this very time Mr. Welles was — or supposed he was — fitting 
out an expedition for the relief of Fort Sumter. All the orders 
were issued in the usual way, and, of course, telegraphed to Charles- 
ton, as soon as written, by the persons in the department through 
whose hands they passed. 

Mr. Seward was well aware of this, and he wanted to prevent 
such a thing happening in this instance. 

Mr. Welles, no doubt, had the Powhatan on his list of available 
vessels, and may have relied on her to carry out his plan for the 
rdief of Sumter. Orders had been sent for the several vessels to 
rendezvous oS Charleston on a certain day, but, strange to say, no 
orders had been issued for the Powhatan to join them, for reasons 
that will appear in the course of my narrative. 

I observed one thing during this interview, and that was that 
the best of feeling did not exist between the heads of the State 
and Navy Departments. Mr. Seward doubtless thought that he 
had not been as much consulted as he ought to have been in the 
fitting out of the expedition for the rehef of Sumter. He looked 
upon himself as Prime Minister, and considered that the Secretary 
of the Navy should defer to him in all matters concerning move- 
ments against those in rebellion, in which opinion Mr. Welles did 
not concur. Mr. Seward was by nature of an arbitrary disposi- 
tion, and wanted everything done in his own way — not a bad qual- 
ity on occasions, but apt to create confusion if persevered in in 
too many cases. 

In this instance it was eminently proper that the Secretary of 
State should take the initiative. 

In the course of the conversation Mr. Lincoln remarked : 
*' This looks to me very much like the case of two fellows I once 
knew : one was a gambler, the other a preacher. They met in a 
stage, and the gambler induced the preacher to play poker, and the 
latter won all the gambler's money. *It's all because we have 
mistaken our trades,' said the gambler ; *you ought to have been a 
gambler and I a preacher, and, by ginger, I intend to turn the ta- 
bles on you next Sunday and preach in your church,' which he 
did." 



16 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

It was finally agreed that my plan should be carried out. I 
wrote the necessary orders, which were copied by Captain Meigs 
and signed by the President, who merely said as he did so, " Sew- 
ard, see that 1 don't burn my fingers." 

The first order was for me to proceed to New York and take 
command of the steam frigate Powhatan, proceed at once to Fort 
Pickens, run across the bar and anchor at all hazards on the in- 
side, where I could cover the fort and co-operate with Cai^tain 
Meigs while he Avas landing the troops, which were to go in a 
steamer chartered for the occasion. 

The second order was for the commandant of the ISTew York 
navy-yard, directing him to fit out the Powhatan with all dis- 
patch and with the greatest secrecy, and under no circumstances 
to inform the Navy Department until after the ship had sailed. 

The third order was to the commanding officer of the Pow- 
hatan, informing him that circumstances required that the utmost 
dispatch and secrecy should be observed in fitting out the ship, and 
that it was necessary for the President to confide the execution of 
his plans to some one who understood them thoroughly, in order 
that they might be carried out ; that for this reason he was com- 
pelled to detach Captain Mercer from the command of the Powhat- 
an, but that, having the highest confidence in his abilities and pa- 
triotism, the President gave him the option to select any other ship 
in the navy, etc. 

Armed with these documents, I bade the President good-day, 
and, in company with Captain Meigs, proceeded to the headquar- 
ters of the General-in-Chief, General Scott, then the military ora- 
cle, without whose authority no troops would have been granted. 

Lieutenant-Colonel Keyes was at that time General Scott's 
Military Secretary, and when we called on the general he showed 
us into the anteroom, where Meigs unfolded to him our plans and 
instructions, requesting that the general would grant us an audi- 
ence as soon as possible. 

When Keyes delivered the message, General Scott gruffly in- 
quired what we wanted, and, when informed, said, " Tell Captain 
Meigs to walk in ; I won't see any naval officer ; he can't come in." 

The fact was, the general at that moment was suffering from a 
severe attack of gout, which made him unwilling to see anybody 
outside of his military family. 

Captain Meigs shortly rejoined me in the anteroom. With 
the aid of Keyes, he had succeeded in getting the general to give 



I PRESENT MY ORDERS TO CAPTAIN FOOTE. 17 

liim the desired force of troops for the relief of Pickens, and we 
therefore departed to carry out the plans. 

Next morning at nine o'clock I was at the New York nayy- 
yard, and found that Commodore Breese, the commandant, was 
absent on a two weeks' leave, and that Captain A. H. Foote was in 
command. This was a fortunate circumstance, for if I had to deal 
with Commodore Breese I should have experienced no end of trouble 
in keeping the expedition secret. Breese was a particularly "cau- 
tious man," a by-word in the navy to express a lack of the higher 
qualities, and he would have eventually let the cat out of the bag, 
or insisted on telegraphing to the Secretary of the Navy for orders, 
notwithstanding the President's instructions. It is hard to get an 
old officer out of a groove in which he has been running for many 
years, and this way of carrying on operations would have seemed 
altogether wrong to a man of Commodore Breese's way of think- 
ing. 

As it was, I had trouble enough with Foote to bring him to rea- 
son, and it was only after three hours' earnest conversation that I 
convinced him I was not a rebel in disguise plotting with the Pow- 
hatan's officers to run away with the ship, and deliver her over to 
the South. 

"You see. Porter," he said, "there are so many fellows whom 
I would have trusted to the death who have deserted the flag that 
I don't know whom to believe." He read my orders over and over, 
turned them upside down, examined the water-mark and Executive 
Mansion stamp, and surveyed me from head to foot. " How do I 
know you are not a traitor ? Who ever heard of such orders as these 
emanating direct from the President ? I must telegraph to Mr. 
Welles before I do anything, and ask further instructions." 

"Look at these orders again," I said, "and then telegraph at 
your peril. Under no circumstances must you inform the Navy 
Department of this expedition. Now give me a cigar, let me sit 
here in quiet, and you may take an hour or two to look over those 
letters if you like ; but if you telegraph to Mr. Welles the President 
will consider it high treason, and you will lose the best chance you 
ever had in your life. If you must telegraph, send a message to 
the President or Mr. Seward." 

"Yes," replied Foote, "and what would prevent you from hav- 
ing a confederate at the other end of the line to receive the mes- 
sage and answer it — there is so much treason going on ? " 

I burst out laughing. " What would you say," I inquired, "if 



18 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

I were to tell you that Frank Buclianan, Sam Barron, and Magruder 
were going to desert to the rebels ? " 

Foote jumped from his chair. " God in heaven ! " he exclaimed, 
"what next? You don't expect me to trust you after that ? How 
do I know you are not in league with the others ? But, man, that 
can't be, for I saw by the morning papers that President Lincoln 
was at a wedding last night at Buchanan's, and Buchanan had the 
house festooned with American flags, and all the loyal men of Wash- 
ington were there." 

"So they were," I replied, "but, nevertheless, they will all de- 
sert in a few days, for their hearts are on the other side. Ingraham 
is going also — his chief clerk has already preceded him, and car- 
ried off the signal-book of the navy." 

"Good Lord deliver us !" exclaimed Foote, piously. "I must 
telegraph to Mr. Welles. I can't stand this strain any longer. It 
will kill me. You sit smoking and smiling as if this was not a very 
serious matter. Here " — to his chief clerk — " bring me a telegraph 
blank." 

"Before you send that message," said I, "let me call your at- 
tention to a paragraph of the President's order : 'Under no circum- 
stances will you make known to the Navy Department or any one 
else the object of this expedition, or the fact that the Powhatan is 
fitting out' Just think," I continued to Captain Foote, "of the 
President taking you into his confidence so early in these troubles ; 
think what a high position you may reach before the trouble with 
the South is over if we succeed in carrying out this expedition suc- 
cessfully. Then, again, think what a tumble you will get if you 
disobey a positive order of the President. He will believe rebellion 
rampant everywhere, and won't know whom to trust. Think of 
Captain Foote being tried and shot like Admiral Byng for failing 
to carry out his orders." 

"Hush, Porter!" exclaimed Foote, "hush at once ! I believe 
you are a rebel in disguise, for after Frank Buchanan, Barron, and 
Magruder preparing to desert, and Ingraham, too, with his Kosta 
record, I won't trust any one. Where are your trunks ? " 

" At the Irving House," I replied. 

" Send the postman here," said Foote. When the man came he 
said to him, "Go to the Irving House, pay Lieutenant Porter's 
bill, and take his trunks to my house and tell Mrs. Foote to pre- 
pare the best room. — There, my boy, I have you now. You shall 
stay with me, and I will be ready to arrest you the moment I 



CAPTAIN FOOTE MUCH PUZZLED. 19 

find there is any treason about you. After all," continued Foote, 
"you have come on a wild-goose chase. The Powhatan is stripped 
to a girt-line. Her engines are all to pieces, her boilers under an 
order of survey, her boats are worn out, and the ship wants new 
planking all over. Her magazines are too damp to keep powder in, 
and we are pulling them all to pieces. She wants a new fore-yard 
and painting throughout. In fact, the ship is worn out, and I gave 
orders to haul her into dock this morning preparatory to thorough 
repairs." 

*' So much the better," said I ; *'she is just the ship I am look- 
ing for. Never mind paint, never mind repairing the boilers, never 
mind new spars, or repairs to magazines. I will take her as she is ; 
only set your people to work and put everything in place, and we 
can get off in four days. I want a ship that can be sunk without 
any great loss." 

"But," said Foote, "all the Powhatan's oflScers have been 
granted leave, and her crew transferred to the receiving-ship." 

" Telegraph the officers to return at once, and send the crew on 
board to rig and equip her," I replied. 

"I can't do that," he said, "unless I telegraph to Mr. Welles." 

I repeated from the order of the President, "Under no circum- 
stances will you make known to the Navy Department the object 
of this expedition." 

Captain Foote was puzzled. At last, after considering the mat- 
ter, he said, " I will trust you, though I am utterly nonplussed ; 
it's such a doubtful business. I will set to work immediately, and 
by night we will have the spars up and by noon to-morrow I will 
have all the officers back. Come home with me now and take 
lunch, and I will give the sentry at my house orders to keep an eye 
on you when I return to the office." 

"And I will return to the office," I replied, "and watch you to 
see that you don't telegraph to Mr. Welles. I want to save you, if 
possible, from the fate of Admiral Byng." 

Foote laughed heartily now that the weight was off his mind, 
and he had determined to carry out the President's instructions. 
A double set of men were put on board the Powhatan with orders 
to work day and night that the ship might be ready in three days. 

Captain Foote and myself sat up nearly all that night talking 
over this adventure, for Foote had now as much interest in the 
matter as I had, and was very enthusiastic over the anticipated suc- 
cess of the expedition. 



20 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

It was cold weather, aud a fire was burning in my room. To 
make things comfortable, I said, *' Suppose you send for a kettle 
of water, some lemons and sugar, and let us have some hot 
punch." 

Foote, although a teetotaler, had every kind of liquor in his 
house for the use of his friends. *' If you ever tell anybody, you bad 
fellow," said he, " that I sat up with you after midnight brewing 
punch, I'll never forgive you." 

But in ten minutes I had brewed some whisky-punch which I 
thought admirable. " Let me make you one," I said. 

*'Well," he replied, "if you will take some hot water, lemon 
and sugar, and mix them together, and put in a very little whisky 
'unbeknownst' to me, I will keep you company." 

So there we sat during the long hours of the night, discussing 
the future prospects of the navy, and before daylight the captain 
had given uj) all idea of telegraphing Mr. Welles. 

Next morning I accompanied Foote to his office. Captain Mer- 
cer was sent for and the President's letter read to him, and he was 
enjoined to secrecy. Captain Meigs also came over and explained 
the part he was to bear in the expedition, and informed Foote that 
he had transcribed all the orders in the President's presence ; this 
settled all Foote's qualms, and the work on the Powhatan proceeded 
rapidly. 

The boilers and machinery were put in pretty fair order, and 
the officers returned in obedience to the telegrams. Captain Mer- 
cer took nominal command, and my presence in the navy-yard 
caused no comment, as I never went near the ship. 

On the fourth day the ship was all ready for sea, with steam up 
and the pilot on board, and Captain Meigs had informed me he 
would sail in the Atlantic at 3 P. m. with the troops under com- 
mand of Colonel Harvey Brown. 

My luggage had been sent on board the previous night, and I 
was in Captain Foote's office, having a last talk with him, when a 
telegram came from the Secretary of the Navy : " Prepare the Pow- 
hatan for sea with all dispatch." 

Foote handed the telegram to nie, quite dazed. " There," he 
said, "you are dished !" 

**Not by any means," I replied; ''this telegram is all right, 
only the President has got uneasy about the ship not sailiug, since 
he was under the impression that she was ready for sea at a mo- 
ment's notice, and has made a confidant of Mr. AYelles. Let me 



THE POWHATAN UNDER WAY. 21 

get on board and off, and you can telegraph that the Powhatan has 
sailed." 

'*No," said Foote, calling for pen and ink, "I must telegraph 
to Mr. Welles." 

''Don't make any mistake," I said. *'You must obey the 
Commander-in-Chief of the army and navy in preference to all 
others," and I quoted the President's order : " Under no circum- 
stances will you make known to the Navy Department the object of 
this expedition." 

Foote threw down his pen. " Porter," he exclaimed, " you will 
be the death of me ; but I will send for Mercer and Captain Meigs 
to join our conference." 

Both these gentlemen were soon at the office, and both urged 
Foote to obey the President's order, which he concluded to do. 

I afterward ascertained that other telegrams had been sent to 
Captain Foote, while I was staying at his house, by the Secretary of 
the Navy in relation to the fitting out of the Powhatan, but he 
never mentioned the fact to me — a circumstance for which I can 
not account. 

"Now go right on board, my boy," said Foote to me, "and 
get off, and as soon as you are under way I will telegraph the Sec- 
retary that you have sailed." So, bidding Captain Foote good-by, 
I slipped on board the Powhatan, unnoticed amid the crowd, and 
locked myself in the captain's state-room. 

Captain Mercer was to remain in command until we got to 
Staten Island, when he was to go ashore and the ship proceed down 
the bay in charge of the first lieutenant. After the ship passed 
the bar and the pilot had left, I was to appear. 

The moment the ship turned her head down stream Foote tele- 
graphed her departure to the Secretary of the Navy. 

We met with many obstacles in our progress down the East 
Eiver, and did not have steam fairly up for an hour after leaving 
the navy-yard. We were an hour and a half in reaching Staten 
Island, and consumed another hour in landing Captain Mercer, as 
the old boat nearly filled with water going on shore, and kept half 
the crew bailing her out. 

Just as the boat was hoisted up and the order given to go ahead, 
the quartermaster reported, "A fast steamer a-chasin' and sig' 
nalin' of us, sir, and an officer wavin' his cap ! " 

Perry, the first lieutenant, did not know who was captain or 
that I was in the cabin, so he stopped until the steamer came up. 



22 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

although she would have caught us anyhow, for Foote had char- 
tered the fastest little steamer out of New York, and kept her with 
steam up, ready to start after me the moment the expected tele- 
gram should arrive. 

The steamboat was soon alongside the Powhatan, and Lieuten- 
ant Eoe came on board and delivered a telegram. Perry walked 
into the cabin, and, to his astonishment, found me there and handed 
me the dispatch. It read as follows : 

" Deliver up the Powhatan at once to Captain Mercer. 

I telegraphed back : 

"Have received confidential orders from the President, and 
shall obey them. D. D. Poeter." 

I then went on deck and gave orders to go ahead fast. In an 
hour and a half we were over the bar, discharged the pilot, and 
steering south for an hour, and then due east, to throw any 
pursuers ofE our track (for I was determined to go to Fort Pickens). 
At sundown I steered my course. 

When my answer to the Secretary of State was handed to 
Captain Foote he was astonished. *' He's clean daft ! " said he, 
" or has run off with the ship to join the rebels. They would have 
tried him by court-martial anyhow. Well, I'll never trust any one 
asfain, for I have lost faith in human nature. Porter would have 
been such a help to our side, whereas if he can get a fast vessel he 
will be the most destructive pirate that ever roamed the seas." 

We often laughed together afterward over this episode, but 
Foote always ended by saying, "You ought to have been tried 
and shot ; no one but yourself would ever have been so impudent." 

Mr. Seward, however, was of a different opinion, and chuckled 
over the success of his pet scheme and at the idea of circumventing 
Mr. Welles. The President smiled complacently when he read my 
telegram, and said, " Seward, if the Southerners get Sumter we 
will be even with them by securing Pickens." I made a warm 
friend in each of them, and Mr. Lincoln and Mr. Seward both 
stood by me during the war whenever Mr. Welles — who was not 
partial to me — was disposed to be annoying. 

When Mr. Welles received Captain Foote's telegram announcing 
the departure of the Powhatan, he hurried over to the White House, 
where he found Mr. Seward with the President, and forthwith 
protested against the interference of the Secretary of State in the 



THE POWHATAN ARRIVES AT FORT PICKENS. 23 

affairs of the Navy Department, demanding the restitution of what 
he termed "the stolen ship," and informing the President that on 
the Powhatan depended the success of the relief expedition to Fort 
Sumter, as she carried the large boats necessary for that occasion — 
when in fact the Powhatan would not have been of a particle of 
use, as she drew too much water to cross Charleston bar, and the 
boats in question were good for nothing, as they had been so long 
exposed to the weather without paint that they filled with water 
as soon as they were lowered overboard. 

If Mr. Welles had reflected a little he would have discovered 
that the Powhatan could not have reached Charleston in time to be 
of any use, for his order to prepare the shij) for sea did not reach 
New York until the morning of the 1st of April, 1861, and if the 
vessel had not been taken in hand when she was, she would have 
been on that date in dry-dock, pulled to pieces, and with half her 
boilers on shore. As it was, the rebels opened fire on Sumter from 
their heavy earth-works as soon as the vessels composing Mr. Welles's 
expedition approached the bar, and they could not have done a 
particle of good. Had they tried to succor the people in the fort, 
they would have been sunk in a very few minutes. A more foolish 
expedition was never dispatched, and Mr. Lincoln remarked, when 
the news was brought to him, " It's a good rule never to send a 
mouse to catch a skunk, or a polywog to tackle a whale." 

The attempt to relieve Sumter was a curious muddle, and had, 
from the first inception of the design, no chance of success. Mr. 
Seward was evidently opposed to it, feeling sure that it would be a 
failure, and so he got up the expedition to Pickens, certain that it 
could not fail to be successful. The Secretary of State wished to 
show that he was a better sailor than Mr. Welles. 

We reached Fort Pickens the day after the Collins steamship 
transporting the troops, although she sailed after we did. I ran 
in for the harbor, crossed the bar, and was standing up to Round 
Fort, when a tug put out from Pickens and placed herself across my 
path. Captain Meigs was on board the tug, waving a document, 
and, hailing, said he had an order from Colonel Brown. It was to 
the following effect : "Don't permit Powhatan to run the batteries 
or attempt to go inside. It will bring the fire of the enemy on the 
fort before we are prepared." 

I felt like running over Meigs's tug, but obeyed the order. The 
stars and stripes were hoisted, in hopes the enemy would open fire, 
but they did not, nor do I believe they had any intention of so doing. 



2i INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

The people in this part of the country were not in the same state 
of excitement as the Charlestonians, and would have been more care- 
ful about firing the first gun. Besides, I do not think they were 
prepared for hostilities, for they had mounted a number of guns all 
en larlette, and did not seem to have any intention of using them. 

The Powhatan had her ten ports on the port side filled with 
nine-inch guns, and there was one eleven-inch pivot. All were 
loaded with grape and canister. Besides, there were twelve how- 
itzers placed in different parts of the ship and loaded with shrap- 
nel. With our trained gunners we could have swept the raw sol- 
diers from the rebel batteries. 

It was therefore unfortunate that Captain Meigs interfered by 
presenting the order. A fine opportunity was lost for the Govern- 
ment to demonstrate its power and determination to maintain its 
authority at all hazards. 

Mr. Welles claimed that this expedition to Pickens was useless, 
as he " had already instructed the commanding officer of the forces 
off Pensacola Bar to send re-enforcements to Fort Pickens in case it 
was attacked." (!) But that prudent officer lay at anchor five miles 
from the fort, where he could be of no manner of use in case of a 
surprise. 

General Bragg had a large force of troops in and around the 
navy-yard, and the second day after our arrival a number of tugs 
and schooners, filled with soldiers, came down from Pensacola and 
approached Fort Pickens, whether with the intention of attacking 
it or not I don't know. They no doubt took the Powhatan and the 
Collins steamer for store-ships, and thought it a good time to com- 
mence operations and secure "loot," but I changed the programme 
by sending an eleven-inch shrapnel among them, which, bursting at 
the right time, threw up the water in all directions. 

The flotilla scampered off in quick time, and left us to quietly 
prepare the fort for any emergency, and it remained in our posses- 
sion during the whole of the civil war. 

At that time the news that Sumter had been fired on had not 
reached us, and we were under the impression that our shot was the 
first that had been fired. 

When I left Washington it had seemed to be the leading idea 
that nobody should get hurt, and that the sensitive feelings of our 
Southern brethren should not be ruffled ; but when I beheld Bragg's 
transports approaching, I thought it high time to try the persuasive 
power of an eleven-inch shell. 



FEAR OF COMMITTING AN OVERT ACT. 25 

My sentiments at that moment were like those of an old fellow 
they tell of at Bunker Hill, who was much amused at the repeated 
volleys of musketry poured out by the advancing British until a 
ball struck him in the fleshy part of the leg, when he roared out to 
his son, who stood near him, *'Dang it, Jim, they're firin' bullets ; 
we must fire back at 'em I " I thought it time to be firing bullets. 

The above is the way Fort Pickens and the gallant Slemmer and 
his men were saved from capture. 

If the commanding officer of the naval forces off the bar had 
been left to his own discretion, Slemmer would have had but a poor 
show in case he had been attacked, although Mr. Welles no doubt 
thought everything was being done to guard the fort against sur- 
prise. The commander of the squadron, however, assured me that 
he was so tied down by instructions "not to commit any overt ad^^ 
that he would not dare to undertake anything without specific 
orders. He thought me very reckless in firing a shell among Gen- 
eral Bragg's vessels, as, *' after all, they perhaps meant nothing, and 
were merely going to land stores at the navy -yard ! " It seemed to 
me shameful, with such a force as this officer had under his com- 
mand, that the rebels should be holding the navy-yard at all. 

There was a great want of discretion among some of the leading 
officers of the squadron. As an example, I will mention that Lieu- 
tenant Eenshaw, who had deserted his flag, went out from Pensa- 
cola in a sail-boat, and, after spending some time in the cabin of 
the flag-ship, came out with a boy carrying a large bag of ship's bis- 
cuit, which was passed into his boat. 

The sailors gathered at the gangway to witness this novel pro- 
ceeding, and many a hearty curse did Eenshaw receive as he slid 
down the man-ropes into his boat. The general expression was, 
*' Double-dyed traitor ! " yet the same captain who had entertained 
Renshaw told me I would probably be tried by court-martial for 
firing at Bragg's men, who I had every reason to suppose were 
trying to capture Fort Pickens. 

I must leave the reader to judge what were Mr. Seward's motives 
for making this movement on Fort Pickens, and whether or not it 
was a good one. Without doubt the Government vindicated its 
authority, and maintained possession of its own property. 



26 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 



CHAPTER III. 

INCIDENTS AT PENSACOLA — TWO DISTINGUISHED TEAVELLERS 
WHO PEOVE TO BE OLD ACQUAINTANCES — A MEMOEABLE 
BEEAKFAST. 

"When one takes a retrospective view of the events which oc- 
curred twenty-four years ago, he can not help but admit that this 
is a progressive age ; and when he sees a building burn down he may 
console himself with the idea that he will live to see a finer one 
springing up from its ashes, particularly if the old one has been well 
insured. There may be pleasant recollections associated with the 
original building, for the loss of which we can never be repaid ; but 
time heals all things, and we learn to do without the old associa- 
tions and form other and dearer ties. 

I have often lamented the wicked waste of life and property 
caused by our civil war ; but I have now learned to look upon all 
these matters philosophically, and sometimes think it was intended 
the nation should pass through such an experience, as children go 
through with their various diseases, by way of preparing them for 
the greater trials of life. 

If we take this view of the matter, we may find some consola- 
tion for the events of a fratricidal war which should never have 
taken place. 

It seems difficult, however, to find any compensation for the 
numerous blunders that were committed by those in authority. 
Our house has indeed sprung from its ashes more beautiful than 
ever, but how much better it would have been to have saved it from 
the fire by using proper precautions ! 

When I look back to the time when it was considered so impor- 
tant to secure Fort Pickens and the Pensacola navy-yard, I have 
often wondered why our vessels did not go in and take possession, 
since it was easy enough to do so, and, in all probability, no one would 
have been hurt ; but our Government was so exceedingly sensitive 
about wounding the feelings of the seceders that although we had 
the force at hand no steps were taken to prevent General Bragg 
from fortifying the navy-yard and the approaches to Pensacola. 
Fort Pickens after it was re-enforced could have knocked all Bragg's 
batteries to pieces in half an hour ; or a single frigate under cover 



*' COMMITTING NO OVERT ACT." 2T 

of the fort could have driven the enemy away and recovered a 
large amount of valuable public property. 

But no ; the officers of the army and navy were obliged to look 
quietly on the unceasing labors of the Confederates, apparently 
waiting the completion of works that they would then proceed to 
knock to pieces, at the same time destroying the public property 
which it was their duty to preserve. 

After Fort Pickens was fully manned, the Union squadron 
hauled in closer and looked placidly on, while the people of Mobile 
were supplying the rebel army with everything they wanted by 
means of tugs and schooners. 

At first the Confederates were cautious how they sent in sup- 
plies ; but, finding that they were not molested, or even questioned, 
they began to send them openly by sea in large quantities. 

Vessels loaded with lumber departed daily from Pensacola har- 
bor, and others entered, but not a boat was sent from the flag-ship 
to inquire what were the cargoes and for whom intended, and 
Bragg and his officers lived quietly in the navy-yard houses, no 
doubt wondering why they were permitted to enjoy themselves so 
pleasantly, and hoping the truce would last an indefinite period. 

I went on board the senior naval officer's ship several times to 
try and get an explanation of this very peculiar method of carrying 
on war, but the only satisfaction I received was the information 
that the commanding officer's orders were to '^commit no overt 
act." These orders were the last communication received from the 
department some thirty days previous. 

I asked the senior officer to let me take the responsibility of 
blockading the port of Pensacola, but he objected to my doing so. 
There was in all this business an inanity of which I had never con- 
ceived. The commanding officer of Fort Pickens had no orders at 
all that I am aware of, except to hold the fort, and not draw the 
fire of the Confederates. 

One day the commander of the squadron signaled me to meet 
him at the fort for a conference, and I at once repaired there. 

The Confederates had hauled the dry dock out of the basin at 
the navy -yard and anchored it about two hundred yards from Fort 
Pickens. There were a number of men on the dock, and four heavy 
anchors were hanging from its ends. 

When I reached the fort the senior naval officer was there in 
consultation with the commanding officer of the troops. They had 
written to Bragg to ask what were his intentions with regard to 



28 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

the dry dock. Bragg replied that the dock got adrift and that he 
would restore it to its place. About four hours afterward it acci- 
dentally sunk in the middle of the channel ! Of course, nobody 
believed that tliis was really an accident, but our senior officers 
thought they had done their duty by inquiring of Bragg what he 
intended to do, and, after having seen him carry out his intentions, 
they sat down quietly to dinner. Colonel Brown filled up some 
more sand-bags, and Bragg mounted an extra gun ; they were like 
two boys daring each other to knock off chips from their shoulders 
and playing a farce of war. 

Next day the smoke of two steamers was descried to the west- 
ward, and I signaled for *' permission to chase," which was granted. 
In an hour I came up with two large river boats loaded with pro- 
visions for General Bragg's army, of which they made no secret. I 
put each vessel in charge of an officer and prize crew, and escorted 
them to the flag-ship, where they were anchored. 

These vessels had on board some 1375,000 worth of stores, and 
the captains made many silly threats because they were interfered 
Tfvith — enough in fact, to make the senior naval officer think he had 
committed an '' overt act " ! So he was willing to compromise, and 
let the steamers off, provided they would return to Mobile, which 
they were very glad to do. I was ordered to escort them back to 
the place where I had captured them, and one of the steamers at- 
tempting to run into Pensacola, I sent a nine-inch shell after her, 
which burst over the vessel, whereupon she turned and preceded 
me toward Mobile. A nine-inch shot is a terribly effective argu- 
ment in such a case. 

I convoyed the vessels some miles down the coast, and, disgusted 
with such humiliating duty, I told the steamboat captains to get 
ready to go on board and take command of their vessels again, say- 
ing, as I did so, " Now let me give you a piece of advice. Don't 
try this again ; if you do, and come within reach of my guns, I will 
sink 3-ou. I have a great mind to do it anyhow." They never 
tried it again. 

If permitted, the rebels would have gone on committing infrac- 
tions of the mutual truce which seemed to have been tacitly estab- 
lished, until finally they would have demanded Fort Pickens, and I 
am not sure but what it would have been considered **an overt 
act " to have refused them. 

I returned to my anchorage completely disgusted, and went im- 
mediately to call on the senior officer and to protest against my 



TWO TRAVELERS. 29 

officers and ship being employed on such liiimiliating duty. I de- 
manded permission to blockade the port of Pensacola and stop the 
supplies that were being constantly taken in to Bragg's army. 
Much to my surprise my demand was granted, provided everything 
was done on my own responsibility and that I should commit no 
*' overt act." That seemed to be the stumbling-block in the senior 
officer's way. The quotation appalled him. 

Next day I established a rigid blockade of the harbor with my 
boats and a small pilot-boat of which I had obtained possession, 
and Bragg got no more supplies by water, for not even a canoe was 
allowed to pass in or out. My communications with the senior offi- 
cer ceased altogether, and for a week I did not see him. 

Ever since the re-enforcement of Pickens I had been made to " eat 
dirt," as the Turks say, and I began to fear there would be no end 
to our humiliation ; but, thank Heaven, it was over at last, and I had 
the satisfaction of hoping that Bragg and his men would occasion- 
ally be short of rations, although he could get provisions by haul- 
ing them over the sand from Mobile. 

Amid the most serious events there is often something calcu- 
lated to bring a smile to the face. Much stupidity was practiced 
by the United States forces at Pensacola, and a good deal of cunning 
and zeal shown by the Confederates. I changed the aspect of affairs 
and made things lively for the first few days. When I got hold of 
the pilot-boat I put Sailing-Master George Brown in charge of her, 
and with the boats of the Powhatan operated very successfully. 
There was no prize-money made, but we caused a deal of disappoint- 
ment to the enemy. 

On the third day of the blockade a thick fog set in, giving block- 
ade-runners a fine opportunity to get in and out of Pensacola. 

Of course everybody in the Southern States knew the condition 
of affairs at Pensacola, and how easy it was to get away from there 
or to enter through the unguarded gates of Fort Pickens. A num- 
ber of people were picked up and sent back in both directions. 

On the third morning one of our boats returned alongside the 
ship, towing a good-sized sail-boat with two persons sitting in the 
stern dressed like travelers, each with a traveling-bag by his side. 

The moment I saw these persons I recognized them and told 
the officer of the deck not to give them my real name, but to show 
them to the cabin and say that ** the captain would be on board 
in half an hour and expected them to breakfast, etc." I wanted to 
have a little amusement out of this incident. 



30 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

When the travelers mounted the side and found themselves 
standing on the deck of a large ship bristling with guns, they both 
looked exceedingly disturbed, and, though muflQed in heavy over- 
coats to keep out the chilling fog, they trembled perceptibly. 

One of the men, a bluff Briton, in rather an arrogant manner 
asked the officer of the deck who was the captain of the ship, and 
by what right he dared to detain one of her Majesty's subjects 
while in transit from one country to another. If he was not at 
once allowed to proceed, and an apology made for his detention, he 
would lay the whole matter before her Majesty's Government and 
claim heavy damages. 

*' You will have to wait," said the officer of the deck. "Cap- 
tain Jones will be here in half an hour, and he expects you to break- 
fast with him, as you must feel quite exhausted after your long 
journey from Montgomer}^'* 

The two travelers started, and the one who had not before 
spoken said, in an agitated voice, " Bless my soul, there must be 
some mistake ; we don't know Captain Jones, in fact never heard of 
him. We are simply travelers getting out of that nasty place 
where you can't get a decent cup of coffee or a glass of wine. My 
name is Wilkins ; my friend here is Mr. Blarney." 

^'Barney, if you please," interrupted his companion. 

*' Yes, bless my soul," said Wilkins, " you're right. I'm a lit- 
tle confused this morning. Here are our cards." 

The cards read, *'Mr. Barney, British Legation," and "Mr. 
Wilkins, Commissioner of Agriculture, Berlin." 

" Please walk into the cabin, gentlemen," said the officer of the 
deck, "and wait the captain's coming. I will have your great- 
coats dried by the galley fire." 

While this conversation was going on I had directed the steward 
to set the breakfast-table for three persons, and to give us the best 
breakfast possible, not forgetting claret and Rhine wine, and some 
hot pickled peppers. The cards had been handed to me through my 
state-room window after the gentlemen were shown into the cabin. 

Both looked surprised when they saw the table set for breakfast. 
" Egad ! " said Wilkins, " we're in for a lark, old boy ; this is bet- 
ter than sailing about in a fog." 

I could hear every word they said, and, by moving the slats in 
the blinds of my state-room, could see the puzzled faces of two old 
acquaintances, who had no idea I was within a thousand miles of 
them. 



A PERPLEXING PARROT. 31 

"By George ! old fellow," said Wilkins, "the captain does ex- 
pect some one to breakfast, sure enough ; and just look at this old 
Lafitte and Ehine wine ; why, this Jones must know how to live ; 
and, by George ! if he hasn't some cliiU Colorado in that pickle- 
dish — napkins, glassware, silver ; why, Barney, old bo}^, we are in 
clover ; I hope Jones will invite us to stay a week." 

"The chances are," said Barney, in a melancholy voice, "that 
this is all a mistake, and that we will be turned out in half an hour 
to mess with the crew, or tarred and feathered and sent back to 
Dixie, as those blasted fools on shore call it. But if this Captain 
Jones takes any liberties with me, one of her Majesty's squadrons 
will come down here and open this port in short order." 

"Bosh !" said Wilkins. " Devil take me, old boy, if I am going 
to quarrel with Captain Jones, Brown, or Smith, or whatever his 
name is, as long as he sets as good a table as this. Ah ! my lips 
smack at the thought of getting some of that Lafitte. You Brit- 
ishers are so stupid about your dignity ! Why, I don't believe Queen 
Victoria would care a snap if these fellows were to swing you up at 
the yard-arm to-morrow. She wouldn't trouble herself to send any 
squadron to look after you, old boy. Come, get in a good humor — 
God bless the old lady, rule Britannia if you please, but don't let's 
lose a good breakfast by your stupid English ways." 

At that moment, through the blinds of my state-room came 
the sounds, "Pretty Poll ! Polly have a pepper ?" as natural as 
life. 

The travelers started, then looked around. "'D — n that Poll 
parrot ; this don't speak well for Jones. No one but an ass would 
keep a parrot. However, his Lafitte seems to be all right." 

" Polly, put the kettle on ! Britannia rules the waves," yelled 
the parrot, winding up with a demoniac laugh. 

" Well," said Barney, " the parrot isn't as big a fool as its own- 
er, for he knows who rules the waves. " 

"Bosh !" exclaimed Wilkins, "didn't the Yankees thrash you 
in the year 1812 ? " 

"Ha! ha!" shouted the parrot, '^ Yankee Doodle came to 
town and whipped the British nation ! " 

" I'd wring that parrot's neck if I had him," said the English- 
man ; " he's a bigger fool than your friend Jones." 

"Don't abuse Jones," said Wilkins, "until we find out what 
kind of a cook he has." 

At that moment the supposed parrot sang out, " Fie ! fie ! 



32 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

fie ! Sam, does your mother know you're out ? Polly wants a 
cracker ! " 

Wilkins jumped from his chair. ** Did you hear that ? " he said. 

" Yes, I heard it," replied Barney. " Don't pay any attention to 
that infernal bird ; you will make as big an ass of yourself as Jones, 
who must be hard up for amusement to keep a parrot." 

" Watch your bag, Sam," sang out the parrot. " Contraband ! 
contraband ! Spy ! spy ! " 

Wilkins rushed for the state-room door ; it was locked on the in- 
side. ''I'll wring the d — d parrot's neck," he shouted. "What 
does this mean ? " 

" * Conscience makes cowards of us all,' " replied the other. " It's 
only parrot's nonsense. I knew of one once that could repeat 
words as fast as he heard them uttered." 

" Cowards of us all ! " yelled the parrot ; "I belong to that ass 
Jones ! " 

"That's the devil," said Wilkins; ''I wish I could throttle 
him." 

" Ha ! ha ! ha ! " laughed the parrot. '* Sam Ward, Sam 
Ward, Sam Ward ! ha ! ha ! ha ! Polly wants a cracker ! " 

Wilkins turned pale, seized his traveling-bag and rushed to the 
cabin-door, but, on opening it, was met by the orderly, who in- 
formed him that he could not pass out. 

'' What ! " inquired Wilkins, '' am I a prisoner ? " 

"My orders are, sir," replied the orderly, "that you gentlemen 
must remain in the cabin until the captain comes on board." 

The parrot laughed and sang out, "Sam Ward a prisoner ! fie ! 
fie ! fie ! Sam ! fie ! fie ! " 

Wilkins rushed again to the state-room door, which he tried in 
vain to open, while the parrot inside sang out, "Sam Ward !" 

Wilkins sank exhausted on the sofa. "I'll give this Captain 
Jones a piece of my mind for teaching his rascally parrot such twad- 
dle. I wonder where he could have heard of me." 

Just then the parrot shouted, "Walk in. Captain Jones; Sam 
Ward says you're an ass ! " and I opened the state-room door and 
walked into the cabin. 

If a thunderbolt had fallen, Sam Ward, alias Wilkins, could not 
have been more astonished. 

" In the name of Heaven," he exclaimed, "where did you come 
from ? Do you belong to this ship ? " and he seized me by the hand 
and almost shook my arm from its socket. "Do you know Captain 



A PLEASANT BREAKFAST. 33 

Jones ? He owes me an apology for teaching liis parrot a lot of 
infernal nonsense about me." 

" Fie ! fie ! fie ! Sam Ward ! " exclaimed a small messenger boy, 
sitting demurely on a camp-stool ; said boy having been brought in 
to personate a j^arrot — which bird he could imitate to perfection — 
*' Polly wants a pepper." 

"Good gracious!" exclaimed Sam "Ward, "that was your 
nonsense, then ? — and I might have known it the moment I 
saw you. I haven't forgotten your tricks and jokes when we went 
through Magellan Straits in the old Panama ; but what are you 
doing here .'' " 

"I am Captain Jones," I replied. *'I suppose I have as much 
right to an alias as you have." 

"Well, thank Providence, I am sure of a good breakfast; but 
let me introduce you to my friend Mr. Barney, who is traveling 
with me ; we won't be sent to Fort Lafayette, will we ? " 

"How do you do, Mr. R ?" I said, addressing i\\e^soi-(li- 

sant Barney. " I knew you through your full whiskers, and con- 
gratulate you upon being under a real flag once more. I don't think 
her Majesty will send a squadron to break up the blockade, but we 
will get some breakfast and then talk business.'* 

Sam Ward said he had got caught in the South, and he and 

R had to get out of the country the best way they could. 

Hearing that Pensacola was not blockaded, they came there, and, 
hiring a boat and a man to manage it, were coming out under cover 
of a fog when captured. " Thank fortune, I smell the coffee," said 
Sam, "and know that breakfast is coming." 

R also became quite communicative, told me he had trav- 
eled South to see how things were going, and was glad enough to 
get out of the country. 

That was a pleasant breakfast. Sam Ward, as usual, took charge, 
called for all the sauces in the pantry, and paid his best respects to 
the Lafitte and Rhine wine. 

Sam Ward talked Union like a man ; R was evidently bit- 
ten with the secession mania. He said we should have a long and 
bitter war, and could never restore the Union unless we granted the 
Southern people all they asked for. 

That night I sent my guests off in the pilot-boat with their own 
boat in tow, with directions to take them to the entrance of Mobile 
Bay and let them go. 

The last thing Sam Ward did was to extort from me a promise 

3 



34 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

never to tell that parrot story, and I only do so now that he has 
gone to his long home, where, if he takes cognizance of what is 
occurring here below, he will not be displeased at my bringing in 
an old friend in connection with this little incident of the war. 

I had my suspicions about the two travelers, and thought possi- 
bly they might have been messengers from the Southern cabinet to 
friends in the North, but I was not going to raise a question that 
might have vexed the Secretary of State and burned my own fingers. 
I took their word as gentlemen, and dismissed them after they had 
enjoyed my hospitality. 

When I knew how loosely the blockade of Pensacola had been 
maintained, and hov/ the Confederates had been encouraged to 
mount guns, complete their defences, and bring in provisions and 
stores for their troops, I thought it would be idle for me to inter- 
fere with the movements of two gentlemen who claimed to be run- 
ning away from the South and trying to reach the flesh-pots of the 
Yankees. They could not do much harm, I thought, and I have 
always been glad that I had it in my power to contribute to their 
comfort in their journey through the lines. 

Four days after the above episode Captain McKean arrived in 
the frigate Niagara. I went immediately on board and informed 
that officer, in as few words as possible, how matters stood, and how 
badly affairs had been conducted. 

He signaled at once for all commanding officers to repair on 
board the Niagara, and, when we were all in the cabin. Captain 
McKean addressed us as follows : 

" Gentlemen, these are ticklish times, and it is necessary for the 
senior officers of the navy to set an example to the younger ones. 
What I propose will keep people to their duty ; but if the officers 
present have any conscientious scruples about taking an oath of 
allegiance, they can state them or for ever after hold their peace. 
I propose that we all do now take the oath of allegiance to the 
United States, and sign a paper to the effect that we will serve the 
Government until death do us part and, forsaking all others, cleave 
unto her our natural mother." 

The old gentleman was deeply religious, and had evidently been 
reading the marriage ceremony, but his remarks were forcible and 
to the point. 

The officer, whom I have before mentioned, declined point- 
blank to take the oath — and it was not an ** iron-clad " affair either 
— ^whereupon I stepped forward and said, " I think every man should 



TAKING THE OATH OF ALLEGIANCE. 35 

be obliged to take that oath, for I have seen more treason in the 
last ten days than I ever supposed could exist in the United States 
Navy." So I signed the paper, and Captain McKean administered 
the oath to me. 

Captain McKean looked coolly at the captain who had declined 
to sign. "Now, captain," he said, "will you sign this paper and 
take the oath of allegiance or not ? " 

"I solemnly protest against it," replied the other; "you have 
no authority to require it of us. We took our oaths when we en- 
tered the navy." 

"Yes," said the old captain, "so did many others, and they 
violated them. You must either take the oath or suffer the conse- 
quences for not doing so." 

"I will sign the paper under protest, and take the oath with a 
reservation." 

" I don't care how you do it," said Captain McKean, " but do 
it you must." 

The officer sulkily signed the paper, took the oath, and, turning 
on his heel, left the cabin without saying " Good-morning " to any 
one. 

"I fear I have made a mistake," said Captain McKean, "in not 
arresting that officer." 

"Yes," replied I, " you never made a greater mistake in your 
life ; but he will keep his oath with a reservation never to fire a shot 
at the South in anger," and so it turned out. 

In a few days Captain McKean scattered all the vessels in differ- 
ent directions, leaving the above-mentioned officer in charge at 
Pensacola Bar, with orders to maintain a strict blockade and not 
let even a canoe pass in or out. 

Months passed away. Bragg built his fortifications and never 
molested Fort Pickens. Colonel Brown piled up sand-bags and 
never troubled Bragg. Neither of them committed an " overt act." 
A more innocent war was never carried on. 



36 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 



CHAPTER IV. 

DELAY AT PEKSACOLA — ATTACK OIT FOET MOKGAN' — PEN'SACOLA 
ABANDONED — A KEMAEKABLE SPECIMEN OF A SOUTHEEN 
UNIONIST. 

I HAD at last the satisfaction of seeing Pensacola fall into the 
hands of the Union forces. 

I was sent in the Powhatan to blockade the southwest pass of 
the Mississippi, and while there recaptured the brig Mary Bradford, 
the first prize taken by the rebel privateer Sumter. 

I obtained from the crew of the brig information of the Sumter's 
movements, and went on board the Niagara, which had come in that 
day, and asked Captain McKean's permission to go in pursuit of 
that vessel. Captain McKean was no longer senior officer, and did 
not feel justified in permitting me to go. Commodore Mervine had 
assumed command of the squadron, and was then off Pensacola in 
the flag-ship Susquehanna, and Captain McKean gave me permis- 
sion to go there and see the commodore, two hundred miles away. 

There was a fascination about Pensacola Bar that kejit the com- 
manding officers there day after day gazing at the harbor and fancy- 
ing, perhaps, that they were acquiring experience in the art of war. 

I arrived at Pensacola Bar the next night, found the Susque- 
hanna at the usual anchorage, and briefly stated to the commodore 
my reasons for visiting him. 

" Why, man alive," said Mervine, "I was just going to send for 
you to come up and help me capture Ship Island. The enemy have 
mounted six guns and are assuming a threatening attitude. I 
think our two ships can clean them out." 

** Yes, sir," I replied, "either one of them could do it ; but I 
consider the capture of the Sumter of vastly more importance than 
an old six-gun battery on a sand island that can do us no harm 
or the Confederates any good. Here is Pensacola," I continued, 
*' that seems to me to have taken a very threatening attitude for a 
long time. I wouldn't mind losing the Sumter if you would let me 
accompany you in and drive Bragg out." 

" But," said the commodore, " such a movement would draw the 
fire on Fort Pickens, and that would never do, for the place is not 
yet fully manned and fortified." 



IN SEARCH OF THE SUMTER. 37 

I had left Pickens about three months "before, and since that 
time several schooners had arrived from the North loaded with 
cannon and all sorts of ammunition. One of these vessels even went 
inside the port to the main wharf and unloaded its warlike cargo 
without molestation from the Confederate batteries. Bragg sent a 
letter once to the commanding officer at Fort Pickens and in- 
formed him that he considered such proceedings improper, and that 
he must land his guns on the outside. 

The reply of the commanding officer was that it was very in- 
convenient to do that, as there was no wharf or crane outside, and 
that the vessel would sail as soon as she had unloaded. 

This explanation seems to have been entirely satisfactory to Gen- 
eral Bragg, and so this new method of carrying on hostilities was 
persevered in to the end. Perhaps Bragg was waiting until the 
fort was filled up, when he intended to invite the commandant to 
hand it over to him. 

Some months after this Bragg did send an expedition to Santa 
Rosa Island and captured General Vogdes, some of Billy Wilson's 
zouaves, and an old white horse ; and that, I believe, was the prin- 
cipal event of the campaign. 

There was no doubt of old Commodore Mervine's bravery, but he 
had, somehow or other, got it into his head that to make any move- 
ment on Pensacola would be to commit '*an overt act." I man- 
aged, however, to get his permission to go in search of the Sumter, 
and was off before he had a chance to change his mind. 

This detention, however, at Pensacola caused me to lose the 
prize. I wasted more than two days in going to Pensacola and back 
again to Cape Antonio, besides using up coal. I arrived at Cien- 
f uegos only sixteen hours after the Sumter had sailed ; had I found 
her there, I should have taken her at all hazards. 

I chased the vessel to St. Thomas. She left only a few hours 
before I entered the port. I followed her to CuraQoa, Maranham, 
Parana in Brazil, and thence to the equator, where Semmes sank a 
vessel within thirty miles of us. Had he burned her, we would 
have seen the smoke and captured the Sumter. 

I now steered for St. Thomas to get coal, sighted a supposed 
Sumter just before dark, overhauled her rapidly, but lost her in the 
gloom of night. After chasing the Sumter ten thousand miles I 
returned in disgust to Key West, and thence went to New York, 
the vessel all broken down, so that we had to proceed mostly under 
sail. 



38 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

I subsequently assisted in the capture of the forts at 'New Or- 
leans, and at that time, a year after the relief of Pickens, Pensa- 
cola was still intact ! Fort Pickens was full of men and guns, 
while Bragg and his army were waxing fat on the hog and hominy 
sent to them from Mobile, and, although Bragg and the commander 
of the fort wrote no more letters to each other, the entente cordiale 
still existed, and both sides had plenty of time to study Jomini if 
so disposed. 

As to the navy, it is said the several commanding officers 
grounded on the beef-bones thrown overboard from their flag- 
ships, but this I do not believe. 

There was certainly something in the air of Pensacola that af- 
fected the army and the navy, and even the Confederates seemed 
loath to change the condition of affairs. If the war throughout the 
country had only been carried on in this fashion, what a blessing it 
would have been, how many lives would have been saved, and how 
much hog and hominy would have been eaten ! 

I think the fall of Pensacola is a piece of unwritten history. 
There were so many important events occurring at the time that 
its occupation was hardly noticed. The people of the country only 
knew that an important place was once more in Union hands. 

After the capture of New Orleans I was ordered by Flag Officer 
Farragut to proceed to Ship Island, in Mississippi Sound, with all 
the vessels composing the Mortar Flotilla, and await him there, but 
in the mean time to undertake no expedition without orders. 
Farragut said that he would join me in five days, when we would 
sail into Mobile Bay and attack the forts. 

This was different from the programme laid down by the Navy 
Department, as Farragut was ordered, after capturing New Orleans, 
to proceed up the Mississippi, capture Vicksburg, and, if possible, 
open the river in its entire length. 

Had Farragut attacked Mobile at that time he would have ob- 
tained an easy victory, and would not have acquired the renown he 
subsequently gained in his capture of that place, which I think one 
of the most daring feats of the war, requiring the greatest coolness 
and skill against superior force. 

I remained three weeks at Ship Island, hearing nothing from 
Farragut, and began to think he had forgotten me. I afterward 
learned that he was operating against Vicksburg. 

My officers and men grew restless at oiir inaction, and one fine 
morning, when the wind was fair, I made signal to the mortar 



PRACTICING ON FORT MORGAN. 39 

schooners and steamers to get under way for Mobile, determined to 
attack the forts. I forgot all abont Farragut's orders. 

When we arrived within eight miles of the place the wind sud- 
denly chopped around ahead, with indications of a gale. I pushed 
on with the seven steamers of the flotilla, signaling the mortar 
schooners to beat up to the anchorage, which I supposed they could 
do in two or three hours. 

I found the steam frigate Colorado, Lieutenant-Commanding 
Davis, off the bar, and, obtaining a pilot, proceeded inside to within 
gunshot of Fort Morgan. The Morgan and Selma, two Confederate 
gun-boats, were lying in the harbor. 

We had some heavy rifled guns in the flotilla steamers and 
several eleven-inch Dahlgrens, and I thought we might as well 
practice a little on Fort Morgan until the mortar schooners came 
up. 

We opened fire, and had it all our own way. Our shot struck 
the fort every time, knocking stones and bricks about in a lively 
fashion. There was no reply, nor could we see any people moving 
about the enemy's works. 

We had fired some twenty shot and shell when it came on to 
blow heavily. One of the enemy's gun-boats was seen to leave the 
anchorage near the fort and start in the direction of Mobile, 
crowded with people. I could not understand the movement, but 
supposed the fort had no guns that would reach us, and the Con- 
federates were trying to draw us farther in. 

The gale increased and I became uneasy about the mortar 
schooners, and sent the steamers to get them safe into Ship Island 
again. I remained at anchor in the Harriet Lane within gunshot 
of the fort, thinking that perhaps in the morning one of the enemy's 
gun-boats might offer me battle. 

That night the wind blew so hard from the northward that 
the Harriet Lane dragged out to sea and had for a time to ride out 
the gale head-to. 

Next morning at daylight a boat containing four deserters from 
Fort Morgan went alongside the Colorado. They informed Lieu- 
tenant Davis that the fort was garrisoned partly with a Mobile fire- 
company of seventy-five men ; that a good many of these men had 
insisted on going up to the city in the gun-boat, leaving not more 
than one hundred and thirty remaining in the fort. This news 
came too late. Davis could do nothing, as his ship could not cross 
the bar. 



40 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

In the mean time I was heading the sea in a northeast gale and 
slowly approaching Pensacola. Had it not been for the untoward 
events of the day, Fort Morgan would have fallen into my hands 
without a struggle, but it was some time afterward before I learned 
all this. 

We had worked along to within about twelve miles of Pensa- 
cola, when I was informed that large fires were burniug at that 
place, and that shells could be seen bursting in the air. 

It seems that wheu the Confederates in Fort Morgan saw the 
mortar flotilla approaching, they telegraphed to Pensacola, "Far- 
ragut is coming to attack us with his whole force." 

The Confederate commander at Pensacola knew that his posi- 
tion was untenable with Farragut's fleet so near, and he fully ex- 
pected that Farragut would pay him a visit as soon as he finished 
with Fort Morgan ; so, in half an hour after receiving the news from 
Mobile, the navy-yard, naval hospital, and all the other public build- 
ings were in a blaze, and by daylight next morning the Confeder- 
ate army which had lain inactive so long was in full retreat from 
Pensacola. 

The moment the flames appeared in the navy-yard. Fort Pick- 
ens opened fire on the retreating foe with all the batteries, and it 
was the shells from the fort and the burning navy-yard that we 
saw at midnight from the deck of the Harriet Lane. 

We put on as much steam as the gale would allow and forced 
the vessel along — bows under half the time — toward the scene of 
conflagration, and just before daylight reached the dock at Fort 
Pickens, where I found that the commanding officer of the fort 
had not a boat to send over to try and extinguish the flames. 
After a year's hard labor in preparing Fort Pickens to resist 
Bragg, it had never occurred to any one that the Confederates 
might some day set fire to Uncle Sam's valuable property and de- 
camp for pafts unknown. 

I made a temporary ferry-boat of the Harriet Lane and landed 
about four hundred soldiers at the navy-yard to try and put out the 
fire, but it was too late ; the mischief had been accomplished, and 
the Confederates had left nothing but desolation behind them. All 
that was movable they carried off, but, as if in mockery, left the com- 
mandant's quarters standing for the next commandant to occupy. 

The Confederates pretended that the shells from Fort Pickens 
destroyed the navy-yard, and they probably did assist in its destruc- 
tion. The rebel batteries turned out to be mostly shams, as I had 



HOW WE WERE GREETED AT PENSACOLA. 41 

suspected. A few old thirty-two pouuders were mounted in con- 
spicuous positions, where they could do no harm, and many formi- 
dable-looking casemates had no guns in them. 

When one looks back he can not but smile at the folly commit- 
ted at Pensacola on both the Union and Confederate sides. The 
finale left on my mind the impression that the Confederate cabinet 
also contained some old women. 

Another amusing episode was to come. I offered to go with 

General to Pensacola to receive the keys of the city from the 

municipal authorities, thinking what a triumph it would be to 
receive the surrender of this ancient burgh and figure in history in 
connection with so glorious an event ! How the loyal people of the 
North would rejoice over the capture of this stronghold, which had 
defied for more than a year the combined efforts of our army and 
navy ! 

As we approached the landing in the Harriet Lane my heart 
palpitated, for I saw a crowd of Union people assembling to meet 
us and to restore once more that loyal city to its allegiance. 

But when we landed, our pleasant anticipations were changed to 
surprise at finding, instead of loyal citizens, a crowd of ragged ne- 
groes grinning from ear to ear and turning somersaults to testify 
their delight. Amid all their squalor and ignorance shone out 
a true affection for the old flag which they could never feel for 
the new one that had been made and presented by the ladies of 
Pensacola to General Bragg on his assuming command. The ne- 
groes kept their eyes on the flag flying at the peak of the Harriet 
Lane, and shouted for Mr. Linkum's gun-boats until they were 
hoarse. 

We saw but one white man, but he was a host in himself, and 
indemnified us for the absence of his fellows. 

The gentleman in question was attired without regard to ex- 
pense. He wore a blue coat with brass buttons, a white vest, and 
yellow nankeen trousers. His huge shirt-ruffle — or, as the sailors 
termed it, his head-sail — stuck out a foot at least, while his shirt- 
frills were fastened by a big diamond. His hat was nicely brushed, 
and his boots shone as if a dozen darkies had exercised their skill 
upon them. 

He advanced toward us, hat in hand, and, bowing low, exclaimed : 
"Welcome once more, my glorious old flag and my beloved fellow 
Union-men. I feel now that I shall receive protection from the 
laws of my country. I am Mr. B m, gentlemen, a leading 



42 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

citizen of Pensacola, who for the past year have dwelt beneath the 
folds of an alien flag and who have been despoiled of my goods and 
chattels worse than the Egyptians were of old. I welcome you to 
this loyal city, where I hope the tramp of the rebel hosts will never 
more be heard, and that we may never again be deprived of that 
dear flag which has sheltered me from boyhood, and of which I 
have dreamed every night since it was replaced by that meaning- 
less rag which no one could respect, much less revere. There are a 
thousand, aye, ten thousand associations — " 

There is no knowing how long this eloquent gentleman would 
have continued his patriotic harangue had not General inter- 
rupted the flow of his eloquence by inquiring why the municipal 
authorities were not present to surrender the city. 

*^Ah!" replied Mr. B m, *'the city is at your feet — a 

child that has been wronged, asking a mother's protection. When 
Eome governed the world, it was only necessary to say 'I am a 
Eoman citizen ' to insure every consideration. Will not our great 
Kepublic — " 

" Where are the Mayor and City Council ? " interrupted the 
general. 

**I am truly sorry to say, sir," replied Mr. B m, *^that the 

fleeing rebels have taken the Mayor's teams into their service to 
carry their spoils to Mobile, and the City Council, poor fellows ! 
were all pressed into the rebel army, and are now — Heaven help 
them ! — shouldering a musket under a government they abhor, for 
they are all, I assure you, sir, devoted to the Union. In the absence, 

then, of municipal government," continued Mr. B m, "let me 

extend to you the liberty of the city and welcome you to our once 
hospitable but now deserted halls." 

At this moment an old negro touched my elbow. '' Massa 
Capen," he said, " can't you gib an ole darkey a quarter ? I ain't 
seen no Union silber fo' mo' dan a year." 

I dropped back to give the old fellow a quarter. 

*' It ain't zactly because I want a quarter so bad, Massa Capen, 
dat I spoke ter yer, but because I wants a chance ter tell yer about dat 

Mr. B m. He's de biggest ole rebel in all dese parts. I hearn 

him talk wen Gen'ral Bragg come here, an' he say mo' about de new 
flowery kingdom an' glory halleluyah dan he done say to-day by 

a jugful. Mrs. B m she done make de rebel flag what floated 

over de heads of de soldiers, an' she sent General Bragg a dozen 
fresh eggs every mornin' for he's breakfast, and I'll bet a water- 



THE PERSONIFICATION OF A UNION WOMAN. 43 

million she'll tell you Union gemplimen dat she ain't seen nary a 
egg since dem rebels come to dese parts and robbed her hen-roost. 

Don't mind what dat lady will say. Wust ob all, Mr. B m 

done got fifty tousand dollars congealed in his cellar way down 
under de foundation to keep de rebels from gobblin' it, and to keep 
you from knowin' he had it. Dat's de kine ob Union man he is. I 
bress de Lord," continued the old darkey, ''dat Mr. Linkum's gun- 
boats is come ; but don't breave a word ob what dis nigga tole you. 
If de rebs was to fine it out dey'd bile dis ole man in de coppers." 

"Don't be afraid," said I as I gave the old Unionist a half-dol- 
lar, which he tucked into his shoe and made off. 

Mr. B m then invited us all to his house. The general 

had his staff with him, consisting of seven officers, and I had with 
me the captain of the Harriet Lane and his aid. 

When we arrived at the house and were shown into the parlor 

we were introduced to Mrs. B m, a stately lady, who smiled 

pleasantly and received us most graciously. 

" Gentlemen," said Mr. B m, "you see before you in Mrs. 

B m the personification of a Union woman — one who not merely 

loves but adores our glorious old flag. She has undergone every 
privation on account of her devotion to that banner under which 
she was born. For years past she has owned twenty niggers, and 
they have all been employed at the navy-yard at a dollar a day 
each, thus giving her an income — not exactly net — of six thousand 
dollars per annum. How could she help loving that dear old 
flag ? She has borne like a heroine the insults heaped on that 
flag by the enemies of our great Republic, knowing that the day 
would come when, like the Phoenix, it would rise from its ashes, 
every star in its glorious galaxy bright^ and more beautiful than 
ever. She succeeded in obtaining a small fragment of the flag which 
was lowered by traitor hands when the navy-yard was surrendered 
to unlawful authority (Mr. B.'s son-in-law was one of those who 
surrendered it), and she has preserved it to this time, when she can 
joyfully bring it to the light of day. — Bertha, where is that pre- 
cious relic ? " 

Mrs. B m produced a piece of red and blue bunting very 

much soiled. 

" There," continued her husband, "there's loyalty for you ; she 
has carried that relic in a bag on her arm ever since the fateful day 
when the stars and stripes were trailed in the dust in the navy-yard. 
Now, when the flag is again hoisted, she will reap her reward, and 



44 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

her faithful servants ■will once more be paid their dollar a da}'^, and 
she receive the income she has so well deserved by her fidelity to 

the sacred Union. And now, Mrs. B m," he continued, "can't 

you manage to give these gentlemen some breakfast ? They must 
be hungry after such early rising." 

"I am very sorry, love," said Mrs. B., " that I can not provide 
for so many, but I can take care of the general and the two navy 
captains. You know we had but a small quantity of tea and coffee 
left and a few pounds of sugar after the rebels rifled our house, 
and I have saved it for this very occasion, which I knew would come 
sooner or later." 

"Thoughtful woman ! " exclaimed Mr. B m ; " what loyal- 
ty ! and to think she has denied herself and family at times when 
we were starving ; but the joy of this occasion is her reward." 

"But I am sorry, my dear," continued Mrs. B., "that there are 
but two eggs in the house, and only one loaf of bread and a small 
piece of butter." 

"Ah, that is unfortunate," said her husband. "You see. Gen- 
eral, we used to have plenty of eggs, but our hens would not lay 
under the rebel flag. Oh, sir, the suppressed loyalty in Pensacola 
is most wonderful ; our cow has not given anything like the quan- 
tity of milk she once did under the old flag." 

I thought this was not surprising, as Mrs. B.'s supply of bran 
and meal for the cow was doubtless limited since the old flag was 
hauled down. 

Mr. B m pondered a while, and lieutenant-Commanding 

Wainwright whispered to me, "Perhaps if they take the cow down 
to the dock and let her look at the old flag her milk will come 
down and we will get a good breakfast after all." 

"Well," said B m, "I have arranged it for all. The gen- 
eral and captains will do us the honor to breakfast with us, and I 
will have the other gentlemen shown to the hotel, which of yore 
has entertained many a gallant Union officer, and will be most happy 
to do so again. The proprietor is Union to the core, and no doubt 
can supply all the gentlemen's wants. I will go with you and 
introduce you myself," and with that he led the way, followed by 
the hungry party, much disappointed at not getting breakfast 
where they first stopped. 

In the mean while the general, Wainwright, and myself were 

entertained by Mrs. B m, who was very discreet in her replies 

to our questions. We could get nothing beyond the prices of pro- 



A BREAKFAST WITH MODEL UNIONISTS. 45 

visions and tlie difficulty of procuring employment for the twenty 
negroes from whom she deriYed her income. 

Mr. B m soon returned, and we sat down to breakfast — two 

eggs, toast, radishes, tea, and coffee. 

" This is glorious," said our host, " to sit once more under the 
folds of the star-spangled banner. May our Federal Union be for 
ever preserved from the wild fanatics who would pull it from the 
proud pedestal on which it was reared by Washington, Adams, and 
Jefferson ! Secession, gentlemen, can not hurt the Union. It is 
but an incident in the life of a mighty nation like ours, a fungus 
that clings to the great oak doing little injury to the monarch of 
the forest." 

"You had better drink your tea, Mr. B m," interrupted 

his wife, ''before it gets cold, and it will make you still more elo- 
quent," she said, with a grim smile. 

Then the general broke in. '' Secession, sir," said he, " is the 
craziest scheme that was ever promulgated, and had General Jack- 
son been President he would have hung all the leaders in the move- 
ment to a lamp-post." 

" It would have taken a strong lamp-post to hold them all,'* 
said Mrs. B m, tartly. 

"Oh, my dear," said her husband, "the general is only speak- 
ing figuratively." 

" No," said the general, "I mean exactly what I say ; but," he 
continued, " this unhappy war is nearly ended. The strength of the 
Union is manifested in every quarter. We have whipped the rebels 
at Donaldson, Fort Henry, Island No. 10, and Memphis ; we have 
them on the run. The navy has been successful at Hatfceras, Port 
Eoyal, and New Orleans. That last affair broke the backbone of 
the rebellion. Our little Monitor defeated their great Merrimac. 
We have all the Southern ports blockaded, and not a traitor of 
them all can escape from the country." 

There is no knowing how long the general would have contin- 
ued in this strain if attention had not been drawn to Mrs. B m. 

Her eyes gleamed like those of a tigress, her face was red with 
anger, her lips were compressed, and the tea-pot which she held 
trembled violently in her hand. 

"I suppose you whipped us at Shiloh?" she hissed, looking 
fiercely at the general ; "at Bull Eun, too, didn't you ? The Con- 
gress and Cumberland sunk the Merrimac, didn't they ? You caught 
Semmes, and he didn't destroy fifteen millions of your miserable 



46 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES -OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

Yankee commerce ! You mounted a liundrcd guns on Fort Pickens 
to batter down the old straw forts Bragg put up to frighten you 
with ! We will march into Washington yet before we are done with 
you, and we'll see who will hang at a lamp-post ! " 

By this time the lady was so excited that she had risen from her 
chair, tea-pot in hand, scattering its contents on all around. " Drat 
you all ! " she exclaimed. " I don't care if I scald every one of you. 

Here, Mr. B m, take the tea-pot and pour out. You are only 

fit to wear petticoats. I leave you to entertain your Union friends. 
I wish you gentlemen to understand that I am a Southern woman 
and B m is a sham ! " 

With that she flounced out of the room and was seen no more. 

Mr. B m was stupefied, the general looked surprised, while I 

laughed heartily. 

" This episode makes this otherwise joyful occasion sad to me-," 

said B m. " My loyal wife has been taken with one of her 

nervous attacks, and her mind has become unhinged through excess 
of joy. The sight of our old flag floating over our lovely bay has been 
too much for her, and her unsettled mind imagines that she is on 
the Confederate side. Give her time, gentlemen, to take an ano- 
dyne, and she will be herself again. Heavens, what a mind she has ! " 

But Mrs. B m returned no more, and we ate our break- 
fast in quiet. All the eloquence had departed from B m, and 

his shirt-ruffle hung limp as if it had been dij)ped in water. 

In a short time he went oiTt, for the purpose, I suppose, of ap- 
peasing his better-half. High words were heard up-stairs, and, as he 
re-entered the room, a shrill voice cried out, ** I'll see you scalded 
first ! " 

After breakfast we departed for the boat, Mr. B m accom- 
panying us and never ceasing to eulogize his loyal wife and the 
dear old flag. At the landing my old negro friend again accosted 
me. 

** What I done tole you, massa, about dem B ms ? You 

fonn' 'em out a sham ? No ? Well," he continued, " dat lady is a 

screamer an' no mistake, an' if she don't wallop Massa B m fo 

sundown den dis ole nigga don't know nuffin." 

B m was loyal to the last, and joined the negroes in their 

cheers as our boat shoved off from the dock, and swung his hat as 
long as we could see him. 

Before the war was ended I met many such ** Union people " as 
the B ms. 



THE DEFENSES OF NEW ORLEANS. 4,7 

A few days after this I had all the mortar vessels at Pensacola, 
so that their crews could get fresh provisions. By this time all the 
people were Unionists except Mrs. B., and I think she would have 
been also had the Government re-established the navy-yard and em- 
ployed her twenty negroes. 

Five days later I received an order from Farragut to repair to 
Vicksburg with the vessels under my command, and thus ended 
my dream of capturing Mobile, which at that time would have been 
an easy matter to accomplish. The Confederates afterward fortified 
it strongly, planted torpedoes, and added to their defenses the for- 
midable ironclad Tennessee. 



CHAPTEE V. 

THE ATTACK OK ]S"EW ORLEANS — SURREITDER OF THE FORTS — 
THE IRONCLAD LOUISIANA. 

One of the most brilliant events of the civil war was the pas- 
sage of Farragut's fleet by the Forts Jackson and St. Philip, and 
the consequent capture of New Orleans. It was altogether a naval 
enterprise, for, although an army was sent out under Butler to hold 
the city after its capture, that army had nothing whatever to do 
with the preceding active operations. 

Everything relating to the capture of New Orleans must always 
be interesting. I do not propose to give a history of the passage of 
the forts, but merely a short account of the surrender of the de- 
fenses of New Orleans. Kemarkable scenes were enacted there of 
which, I believe, no one has yet written a full and accurate account. 

I had in the flotilla under my command twenty-one mortar ves- 
sels and six steamers. The duty of the steamers was to look out 
for the mortars and tow them from point to point. 

On the night when it was planned to pass the forts, the steam- 
ers of my flotilla were ordered to take position opposite the water- 
batteries of Fort Jackson and as close to them as possible, and open 
fire with grape or canister and shrapnel while the fleet passed by. 

This was done effectually, and by the time Captain Bailey, who 
took the lead, had got abreast of the forts and the enemy opened 
fire on him, we opened on Fort Jackson with the mortars and 
twenty guns from five steamers. 



48 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

The steamers lay close in to the bank — only about two hundred 
yards distant from the works — and, although the vessels' hulls were 
protected by the levees from the casemated pieces, yet the barbette- 
guns opened rather lively. The first man killed in the fleet was 
on board the Harriet Lane. 

In fifteen minutes after the steamers opened fire on the seven 
heavy guns of the center battery it was silenced and did no harm 
to the passing fleet. In fact, only twenty shots struck the hulls of 
the fleet on their port sides, which shows that the fire of the mortar 
flotilla was very accurate. Farragut calls it "the mortar steamers 
taking the forts in flank," which was a very good explanation of 
the movement. 

As the fleet passed by me up the river I could, while standing 
on the bridge of the Harriet Lane, see every movement that was 
made. The whole extent of the river for a mile above the forts 
■was as light as day, owing to the enemy igniting several fire-rafts, 
which illuminated the fleet and forts as if in a diorama. 

When the last vessel had passed by, Colonel Higgins, who com- 
manded Fort Jackson, exclaimed, "Shut up shoj) ; the old navy is 
too much for us; good-by. New Orleans," He told his men they 
might as well stop firing the few guns that could then be brought to 
bear, and get under cover from the mortars. 

I lay alongside of Fort Jackson fifteen minutes after Farragut 
had passed up, throwing in a fire of grape and shrapnel, to which 
there was no reply. 

At daylight next morning I dropped down to the mortar 
schooners to tell them to stop firing, as the work was done. I met 
the sloop of war Portsmouth coming up in tow of a steamer. The 
forts opened on her feebly, but did no damage. The soldiers had 
lost heart, and, as I afterward learned, declined to be exposed use- 
lessly to a heavy fire from the mortars. 

It had been a heavy fight for the mortar vessels and for the 
poor fellows in the forts, who had borne for six days and nights the 
heavy pelting on their casemates of nearly seventeen thousand 
thirteen-inch shells, to say nothing of the fire of the gun-boats 
detailed daily to cover the mortar vessels from the fire of the forts. 

Everybody on both sides was tired out, and many dropped in 
their tracks and went to sleep. As for myself, I had had scarcely 
any sleep for seven days and nights. 

After we had breakfasted and refreshed ourselves I sent Lieuten- 
ant-Commanding Guest to the forts with a flag of truce and a polite 



SURRENDER OF THE FORTS. 49 

letter to the commanding officer, advising their surrender to me in 
order to prevent the further effusion of blood — an invitation which 
he as politely declined, and said that he could do nothing until he 
heard that Flag-Officer Farragut and his fleet had arrived at New 
Orleans. I had, therefore, no alternative but to open again with the 
mortars on Fort Jackson and make it as unpleasant as possible for 
the Confederates ; but by four o'clock all the mortar-shells were 
exhausted, and the schooners being now useless, I sent them down 
to Pilot Town to fill up with ammunition and six of them to appear 
in the rear of the forts, where they had few or no guns mounted. 

What was the surprise of the commander of Fort Jackson when 
he saw in thirty-six hours several mortar vessels anchored in his 
rear and others in the distance approaching ! 

The result was, the soldiers in the forts mutinied and insisted 
on a surrender, so that, however unwilling, the officers were forced 
to comply. 

That night General Duncan sent an officer in a boat to say to me 
that he would surrender the forts next morning under honorable 
conditions, which were granted ; for if ever there was a brave de- 
fense, it was that of Fort Jackson, which got all the hammering 
from the mortars and most of the fire from the ships. 

Here was to be a meeting of old shipmates who were serving on 
either side, and who, after messing together many years under the 
old flag, had been trying for the past week to inflict every sort of 
injury on one another that ingenuity could devise. 

There was an actual desire on the part of some to meet their 
old acquaintances and talk over the events of the siege, for the sur- 
render was to include all the naval officers and whatever vessels yet 
remained afloat. This had been stipulated by Lieutenant-Com- 
manding Guest when he called on General Duncan about the sur- 
render. 

There was quite a large number of naval officers employed in 
the Confederate river flotilla, in the rams, and the ironclad Louisi- 
ana, and a corresponding number on our side. 

I was determined that the Southerners should see no diminu- 
tion of discipline in the old navy, and that when we went to take 
possession of the forts we would go dressed up for muster, or, as 
they say in the navy nowadays, dress parade. 

On the morning of the surrender, signal was made for the crews 
of our vessels to dress in white mustering suits, and the officers in 
frock-coats and white trousers, everything looking as neat as pos- 
4 



50 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

sible. I was determined that the Southern fellows of the old navy 
should see that we had not gone to the devil, but still wore clean 
shirts under the most adverse circumstances ; that we were not 
only true to our flag, but to our old traditional neatness, even after 
a hard-fought battle of a week's duration. 

Flag-Officer Farragut, after passing the forts, had gone on up the 
river to New Orleans, carrying everything before him and scatter- 
ing the troops in the defenses along the river like sheep ; but he 
had left behind him some rather ugly customers, among them 
the Louisiana, a huge ironclad mounting sixteen nine-inch 
guns, four or five of them rifled, and impervious to any shot 
we had. 

Fortunately, her machinery was out of order, and she could not 
move without the aid of tow-boats ; but had her officers possessed 
sufficient energy they might have captured or destroyed everything 
on the river after our fleet passed on up. 

Farragut showed his confidence in the mortar flotilla by leaving 
us to look after the ironclad and her three consorts, and perhaps, 
had the Louisiana come down and attacked us, we might have 
managed to dispose of her ? 

Our little squadron of steamers now comprised nine vessels — 
three of them gun-boats that had failed to pass the forts with the 
fleet, not from want of gallantry, but from various causes. Fragile 
as our little vessels were, they made an imposing sight as they 
steamed up to the fort in line and anchored en echelon across the 
river. 

The huge Louisiana was secured to the bank about four hundred 
yards above, and it could be seen that her iron sides had not even 
been indented by the shot poured into her as the vessels of the 
squadron passed by. I thought what an addition she would be 
to our force, for with her guns we could batter down any forts the 
enemy might erect along the river. In my mind's eye I could al- 
ready see the fortifications at Vicksburg succumbing to this power- 
ful vessel, and I thanked my stars that she had not been used as she 
might have been and driven us all out of the river. 

There she lay, a huge leviathan among minnows, her flag flying 
and three gun-boats near by. I was not certain but what some 
act of treachery would be attempted before the capitulation of the 
forts was accomplished. 

When our vessels were all at anchor, ready to receive the officers 
of the forts, a barge was sent on shore for them, while the officers 



THE CAPITULATION. 51 

and crews of tlie steamers were kept at quarters, ready for any emer- 
gency. 

When the Confederate oflBcers came down to embark, Colonel 
Higgins, formerly a lieutenant in the navy, who commanded Fort 
Jackson, paused for a moment and said to the commanding officer, 
General Duncan : *' Look at the old navy ! I feel proud when I see 
them. There are no half-breeds there ; they are the Simon-pure. 
With fellows like those to back us, Farragut would never have 
passed the forts." What he meant will appear directly. 

The Confederate officers were received at the gangway by myself 
and officers, and, when they stepped on board, one would have sup- 
posed they were foreigners paying us a visit of ceremony. They 
were fine-looking men in the prime of life, and showed no depres- 
sion. Their bearing was manly without haughtiness. 

Although I knew some of them, I did not think it necessary to 
recognize them at the moment beyond a bow when General Duncan 
mentioned each one's name. I then invited them to the cabin, 
where the terms of capitulation were lying on the table. The Con- 
federate officers were all seated on the port side, while I took the 
head of the table and my officers the starboard side. Colonel Hig- 
gins could not help saying, as he descended to the cabin, " Captain, 
this is a man-of-war and no mistake." 

I felt much disposed to recognize Higgins, but I buried all my 
old friendships with naval seceders when they deserted their flag. 
In my opinion, no naval officer should have been influenced by 
State-rights sophistry to forsake the flag under which he was 
born, and which had been to him a source of honor and emolu- 
ment. 

If he could not give the Government active support, he should 
at least have declined to raise his hand against it. 

But, after all, these are matters of conscience, and no man can 
tell how far he may be carried in a popular excitement until he is 
tried. 

I only know that I would never join a State, because I happened 
to be born within its limits, in opposition to the legally constituted 
Government of my country. 

Therefore, when I first met old friends whom I thought had 
wandered from their plain duty, I could not gush over them, 
though careful to show them as prisoners every kindness. 

I felt as Franklin did, who, on receiving a letter from an old 
friend in England during the Revolution, answered: *'We were 



52 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

once friends ; we are so no longer. You are an enemy to my coun- 
try ; you are mine also." 

At the same time I could not help admiring in their misfor- 
tunes those brave men who were about to sign a capitulation which 
would deprive them of the forts they had so confidently and gal- 
lantly defended, and who, when all was over and no more could be 
done, gave up without brag or bluster, and made no excuses for their 
failure. 

I can not help admiring bravery even in a bad cause, and when 
I went over the works and saw to what a dreadful hammering the 
Confederates had been subjected, I thought it not without honor 
for any one to have fought at their side. 

I laid before the oflBcers the papers of capitulation. ''General 
Duncan," I said, "read them carefully." 

"I will," he replied, "but I am confident you would offer us 
no terms that it would be dishonorable to accept ; one brave man 
would not wish to humiliate another." 

I acknowledged the compliment so delicately expressed, 

"I am satisfied with the terms," said the general, "and speak 
for the rest of the ofiicers." 

The terms were that ofiicers and men should sign a parole not 
to serve against the United States Government until regularly ex- 
changed, the ofiicers to retain their side-arms and be transported 
to New Orleans in a United States vessel. 

The Confederates were to turn over to the United States all 
ordnance, ammunition, stores, and small arms, as far as practicable, 
uninjured — a stipulation which was religiously observed. 

I said to General Duncan, "Where is the commanding naval 
officer and his staff ? I shall include the vessels in the surrender ; 
are they not under your command ? " 

"Yes," replied the general, "at least they are supposed to be, 
but I know nothing about them. The naval officers were duly 
notified what was to take place. They failed in their support; 
otherwise matters might have turned out differently." 

This was rather perplexing, and I was inclined to postpone the 
capitulation until the commanding naval officer could be sent for, 
since under present circumstances the Confederate navy might open 
fire upon us, on the ground that they were not a party to the agree- 
ment drawn up. 

"We were relieved from this difficulty, however, by Lieutenant- 
Commanding Wainwright coming into the cabin and reporting that 



THE LOUISIANA IS FIRED AND EXPLODES. 53 

the officers and crew of the Louisiana were leaving her in a gun- 
boat, after setting fire to the ironclad ; that the latter's fasts had 
been cut, and she was drifting rapidly down upon the line of 
steamers. 

"This is sharp practice, gentlemen," I said, "and some of us 
will perhaps be blown up ; but I know what to do, for it is now 
plain sailing. If you can stand what is coming, we can, but I 
will make it lively for those iseople if any one in the flotilla is 
injured." 

"We do not consider ourselves responsible for anything the 
naval officers may do," said Duncan. " Their course has been a re- 
markable one throughout the bombardment. They have acknowl- 
edged no authority except their own, and, although I am com- 
manding officer here, I have no power to coerce them." 

I told Lieutenant-Commanding Wainwright to hail the steamer 
next him and tell her captain to pass the word to the others to 
veer out all their riding chain to the bitter end, and stand by to 
sheer clear of the burning ironclad as she drifted down. I then 
sat down to the table and said, " Gentlemen, we will proceed to 
sign the capitulation." 

I handed the paper to General Duncan, and looked at the Con- 
federate officers to see how they would behave under the circum- 
stances of a great ironclad dropping down on them all in flames, 
with twenty thousand pounds of powder in her magazine. For 
myself, I hoped the fire would not reach the powder until the ship 
had drifted some distance below us. My greatest fear was that she 
would run foul of some of the steamers. 

While I was thinking all this over the officers were sitting as 
coolly as if at tea-table among their friends. 

Just then there was a stir on deck, a kind of swaying of the 
vessel to and fro, a rumbling in the air, then an explosion which 
seemed to shake the heavens. The Harriet Lane was thrown two 
streaks over, and everything in the cabin was jostled from side 
to side, but not a man left his seat or showed any intention of do- 
ing so. 

I was glad that I had signed before the explosion took place, as 
I would not have liked my autograph to look shaky. 

When Lieutenant-Commanding Wainwright came back to the 
cabin he reported that the Louisiana had blown up about a hun- 
dred yards above the Owasco, that no one was hurt, and that no 
vessel had left her anchorage. 



64 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

I told the Confederate officers that I had no doubt the ironclad 
had been prepared to blow up right in our midst, for the purpose 
of destroying us all, to which the reply was, "We are not re- 
sponsible." 

The Confederate officers soon after went on shore, hauled down 
their flag, took an inventory of all property remaining in the forts, 
mustered their men, and prepared to depart from what they had 
once deemed impregnable works. 

As soon as they left the Harriet Lane the signal was run up, 
" Prepare for action ! " and I steamed toward the rebel gun-boats, 
which were fastened to the shore above, with all their flags flying. 
A rifle-shot was fired at Commander Mitchell's flag-staff, and all 
their flags were at once lowered. 

Thus in the end the Confederate navy had to submit to force, 
when they could have gi'acefully surrendered and had all the bene- 
fits enjoyed by the army. 

I was so indignant at having the ironclad Louisiana thus slip 
through my fingers that I could scarcely refrain from running the 
Confederate flag-ship down and sinking her. The ironclad would 
have been a great help to Farragut in his operations on the upper 
Mississippi, and would have been a match for the great ram Ten- 
nessee, which was at that time being prepared at Mobile. 

Look at the destruction of the vessel by Mitchell's orders in 
any light you may, it was unfair. That was my ojDinion at the 
time, and I have never seen any reason to change it. 

When I came alongside the Confederate vessels, I found them 
huddled together and crowded with men. I hailed and asked them 
if they had surrendered. They answered in the affirmative, and I 
sent Lieutenant Wainwright to take jwssession. He was directed 
to receive only an unconditional surrender, as I would grant no 
terms. 

Commander Mitchell, the senior naval ofBcer, met Wainwright 
at the gangway and extended his hand. ''No," said Wainwright, 
"you are a prisoner." 

" Am I not to have the same terms as the army officers ? " in- 
quired Mitchell. 

"No," replied Wainwright, "you must surrender uncondition- 
ally, and be taken Nortli as a close prisoner. Deliver up your sword." 

As Mitchell had no sword, he was obliged to borrow one for the 
occasion from an officer who stood near by. 

I kept my word and held no terms with the naval officers. I 



THE LOUISIANA. 55 

felt sorry for tliem, for among their number were some fine young 
fellows whom I had no reason to think were aiders and abettors in 
a scheme to destroy a vessel which rightfully belonged to us, for, 
although not actually surrendered, she was virtually so, being in- 
cluded in the terms of capitulation. 

There was nothing to justify the destruction of the Louisiana, 
and I was much disappointed at seeing those who had once belonged 
to the United States navy excelled in matters of honor and pro- 
priety by the officers of another corps. 

Suffice it to say that the Confederate naval officers were all sent 
North by Farragut as close prisoners. They made statements, how- 
ever, which in the end procured their release ; but while the au- 
thorities were satisfied, I never was. I could never get over the 
fact that, when I went below with the Confederate army officers to 
sign the capitulation, the Louisiana was lying at the river-bank, in 
all her strength and grandeur, all ready, as I supposed, to be turned 
over to me. When I came on deck again the vessel had disappeared. 
The disappointment was great, and no doubt those Confederates 
chuckled with delight over it. 

However, it didn't really make any difference in the final result, 
and furnished an interesting incident of the war, although the 
"incident" came near closing the career of all those present at the 
capitulation of Forts Jackson and St. Philip. 

AVhat else relates to this matter will be found in the official re- 
ports of the day, as it is not my intention to write a history of the 
war, but merely to mention such incidents as I think will interest 
the general reader. 

It is astonishing that the Confederates should have had at the 
defenses of New Orleans such a powerful vessel as the Louisiana, 
while Farragut had nothing but fragile wooden vessels, that could 
be pierced by any ordinary smooth-bore gun ; and it was only owing 
to the circumstance that the Louisiana disabled her machinery while 
coming down the river, and could only move about in tow of an- 
other vessel, that a disaster did not befall the Union fleet. 

As the fleet passed up the river the Louisiana occupied a promi- 
nent position tied to the river-bank, where the light from the fire- 
rafts showed her as plainly as if it had been daylight. 

Every vessel in passing poiired in her shot at close quarters, 
doing the Louisiana no more harm than so many popguns. It is 
fair to presume that with her powerful battery she inflicted some of 
the damage done to the squadron. It can be easily imagined what 



56 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

terrible havoc such a vessel would have made among a lot of 
wooden vessels had her motive power been in good order. The 
ships scattered about the river could have offered no effectual re- 
sistance to her without firing into each other. 

How fortunate, then, it was that Flag-Officer Farragut advanced 
up the river the night he did, when the ironclad was tied up to the 
bank and could not use her guns effectively ! 

Only one projectile did any harm to the Louisiana. It was either 
an eleven-inch or a mortar shell that knocked off part of a light 
gallery in which riflemen were stationed. Her commanding officer 
was mortally wounded, and a few of her men were disabled. 

How is it, I would ask, that such a vessel could be built in New 
Orleans with the comparatively meager resources of the Confeder- 
ates ? The Merrimac built at Norfolk, two heavier ships than either 
the Merrimac or Louisiana building at New Orleans, four heavy 
ironclads building up the Yazoo River, and the Tennessee building 
at Mobile, while the most in this direction that the North had 
accomplished was the construction of the little Monitor, designed 
by Ericsson, which was derided while building, was looked upon 
as a doubtful experiment, and finally saved the honor of the 
nation. 

Where was our boasted energy when we could not build two or 
three ironclads while the Confederates were building eight ? 

With our resources we should, in the time from the breaking out 
of the Rebellion to the expedition against New Orleans, have been 
able to supply Farragut with half a dozen heavy ironclads. It was 
fortunate indeed for Farragut that the Louisiana was not in good 
working order, for, although there was no end of skill and bravery 
shown by our gallant commander, his wooden ships were but fragile 
things to operate against heavy forts on the banks of a swift-run- 
ning river, and against an impregnable ironclad, besides a dozen 
gun-boats throwing in shells, a formidable ram that was plunging 
about in every direction and rending the sides of the heaviest ves- 
sels, and packs of fire-rafts scorching the very sides of the ships and 
causing almost inextricable difficulties. 

It was a time to try men's souls, and the fact that almost every 
ship got by the forts is a proof that the commanding officers knew 
their business, and performed their duty with the utmost coolness. 

Farragut was justly lauded for this remarkable and glorious 
victory, but neither the Government nor the people ever gave him 
half the credit he deserved. An English officer who had achieved 



JOHN ERICSSON. 57 

SO mucli would haye been loaded by his government with no end 
of rewards. 

The capture of New Orleans broke up the principal stronghold 
of the Confederacy. It yirtually gave us control of the Mississippi 
River, and was really the insertion of the wedge which finally split 
the backbone of the Rebellion. When the Mississippi was opened in 
all its length, the contest was virtually settled. 

I know all the difficulties with which Farragut had to contend 
— difficulties greater than ever beset British admirals in their most 
famous battles ; difficulties, in fact, that many of them would have 
thought insurmountable. The rank of rear-admiral, and finally 
that of admiral, when he was broken in health, was all the reward 
he ever received, and his rank of admiral carried with it no authori- 
ty or consequence to make him feel he was of that importance to 
his Government which his services merited. 

It is only in the present year (1884) that the survivors of the 
battle of New Orleans received the final share of prize-money gained 
by them in 1862. 

The great merit in giving rewards is to give them promptly ; it 
can not be considered generous when they are doled out too care- 
fully. 



CHAPTER VI. 

EKICSSON AND THE MONITOE. — AN" INTERVIEW WITH THE GREAT 

ENGINEER. 

Great ideas lie dormant in the minds of men until some im- 
portant event occurs to bring them to light, as the sun causes the 
seed to germinate. 

Newton, although he had certain theories in his mind in rela- 
tion to the forces which govern the motions of the heavenly bodies, 
never fully comprehended the matter until he saw an apple fall from 
a tree. By so trifling an occurrence as that the philosopher at once 
comprehended the principle of gravitation. 

So it was with John Ericsson, the distinguished inventor, who, 
although he had stowed away in his mind certain theories which 
were to radically change the system of naval warfare, never had an 
opportunity to put them into practice until a revolution took place 



58 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

in the country of his adoption, and he saw a chance of making the 
great talents God had given him useful to the Union cause. 

Had Ericsson been listened to on the first breaking out of the 
war, and his plans adopted, the United States Government would 
in one year not only have been able to take possession of all the 
Southern ports, but to have bid defiance even to the great fleets of 
England and France in case either nation felt disposed to meddle 
in our affairs. 

But who was going to believe that "an iron pot" would float, 
even if empty, much less when loaded down with gnns, ammuni- 
tion, machinery, provisions, and men ? Mr. John Lenthall, the 
oldest and ablest constructor in the navy, scouted the idea. "■ How 
is the Monitor to ride the sea with all that weight in her ? " he in- 
quired. 

"The sea shall ride over her," replied Ericsson, "and she will 
live in it like a duck." 

" The man is crazy ! " said Lenthall, and he turned his atten- 
tion to the model of a wooden double-ender he was about to con- 
struct — one of those remarkable vessels of which President Lincoln 
said, " I have often heard of a vessel with two bows, but I never 
before saw one with two sterns." 

Mr. Lenthall was a man of great ability, but he had been too 
many years engaged in modeling sloops of war and frigates, and was 
of too cautious and conservative a temper to be diverted from his 
course by what he considered visionary ideas. He had hardly pa- 
tience to examine the plans or calculations on which depended the 
efficiency of " Ericsson's iron pot," as he called it. 

Had he taken hold of the subject with enthusiasm, his mind 
would have grasped the situation, and the Monitor would have been 
at Hampton Roads months before she actually arrived there, and a 
great catastrophe would have been averted. 

As it was, only one person in the Navy Department believed in 
Ericsson's plans from the first, and that was Commodore Joseph 
Smith, a plain, practical man, who thought he saw in the invention 
what was worthy of encouragement. 

At length it was agreed that Ericsson should build, at his own 
expense and at a private ship-yard, an iron-turreted vessel, which 
the Government would accept, provided it fulfilled in all respects 
the promise of the inventor. 

Had the extensive iron-works and machinery at the New York 
navy-yard been put in operation, the Government could have built 



A VISIT TO ERICSSON. 59 

in the same time half a dozen yessels of the Monitor pattern, and 
of much greater power, which would have assured us success all 
along the coast and made us infinitely stronger abroad. 

As soon as the success of Ericsson's Monitor was assured, the 
Government proceeded to follow out the idea, and the Monadnock 
class were then constructed on the plans of Chief Constructor Len- 
thall, who, with the means at his disposal, was able to turn out what 
were then the most powerful vessels in the world. 

While I was fitting out the mortar flotilla, *' Ericsson's iron pot " 
was approaching completion, and I received orders from the Navy 
Department to make a critical examination of the vessel and report 
my opinion of her capabilities. After this duty was accomplished 
I was ordered to proceed to Mystic, Conn., and examine the Ga- 
lena, a wooden vessel sheathed with iron plates, building there under 
the supervision of Commodore Joseph Smith. 

Arriving at New York, I called on Mr. Ericsson and showed him 
my orders. He read them, looked at me attentively, and said : 
"Well, you are no doubt a great mathematician, and know all 
about the calculations which enter into the construction of my ves- 
sel. You will have many papers to examine ; help yourseK, and 
take what you like best." 

" I am no great mathematician," I replied, *' but I am a practical 
man, and think I can ascertain whether or not the Monitor will do 
what is promised for her." 

"Ah, yes ! " exclaimed Ericsson, "a practical man ! Well, I've 
had a dozen of those fellows here already, and they went away as 
wise as they came. I don't want practical men sent here, sir. I 
want men who understand the higher mathematics that are used 
in the construction of my vessel — men who can work out the dis- 
placements, horse-power, impregnability, endurance at sea in a gale, 
capacity to stow men, the motion of the vessel according to the 
waves, her stability as a platform for guns, her speed, actual weight 
—in short, everything pertaining to the subject. Now, young man, 
if you can't fathom these things you had better go back where you 
came from. If the department wants to understand the principles 
of my vessel, they should send a mathematician." 

" Well," said I, as the inventor paused to take breath, " although 
I am not strictly what you would call a mathematician, I know the 
rule of three, and that twice two are four." 

Ericsson looked hard at me, his hair bristled up, and the mus- 
cles of his brawny arms seemed to swell as if in expectation of 



60 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

having .to eject me from the room. "Well!" he exclaimed, "I 
never in all my life met with such assurance as this. Here the 
Government sends me an oflBcer who knows only the rule of three 
and that twice two are four, and I have used the calculus and all 
the higher mathematics in making my calculations. My God I do 
they take me for a fool ? " 

''But," said I, apologetically, "I know a little of simple equa- 
tions. Won't that be sufficient to make me understand this ma- 
chine of yours ? " 

'' Worse and worse ! " exclaimed the inventor. " This beats the 
devil ; it would be better if you knew nothing. Father in heaven, 
here's a man who tells me he knows a little of simple equations, and 
they send him to examine John Ericsson ! " 

I was greatly amused with this remarkable man, and entirely 
forgave his peculiarities. *' Well, Mr. Ericsson," I said, "you will 
have to make the best of a bad bargain, and get along with me 
as well as you possibly can. I am perfectly willing to receive in- 
struction from you." 

" Ah, ha ! " he exclaimed, " that's it, is it ? and so you think me 
a school-master to teach naval officers what I know ? I'm afraid 
you're too bad a bargain for me ; you must expect no instruction 
here. Take what you like best from my shelves, but you can't have 
my brains." 

" Well, then," I said, " show me your plans in order, and, if 
you won't explain them, let me see what I can make of them." 

"Ah, young man !" said Ericsson, "with your limited knowl- 
edge of simple equations you will run aground in a very short time. 
Look at this drawing and tell me what it represents." 

"It looks to me like a coffee-mill," I answered. 

Ericsson jumped from his chair with astonishment in his eye. 
" On my word of honor, young man, you are vexing, and I am a fool 
to waste my time on you. That is the machinery that works my 
turn-table for the turret. I have spent many sleepless nights over 
it, and now a man who only knows a little of simple equations tells 
me it's a coffee-mill ! Now what do you think of that ?" continued 
Mr. Ericsson, handing me a small wooden model; "that's my 'iron 
pot,' as you navy people call it." 

I regarded the model with a critical eye, holding it upside down. 
" This," I remarked, " is evidently the casemate " — passing my hand 
over the bottom — "and this " — pointing to the turret — " is undoubt- 
edly where you carry the engine." 






EXAMINING THE MONITOR. 61 

"0 Heavens!" exclaimed Ericsson; **well! well! never did 
I see such a — But never mind ; you will learn by and by the world 
was not made in a day." 

So we went on till at length I informed Mr. Ericsson that I 
thought I understood all about his '4ron pot." 

He was not in a pleasant humor, evidently regarding me as an 
emissary sent by the department to try and bring him to grief. As 
he did not seem to be in a communicative frame of mind, I took a 
malicious pleasure in worrying him. 

After learning all I could possibly from the drawings and plans 
of the Monitor, I proposed to the inventor to go and examine the 
Simon-pure article, and we crossed the ferry to Greenpoint, where, 
if I remember rightly, the vessel was building. 

Taking off my coat, I penetrated to the innermost recesses of the 
Monitor, followed by Mr. Ericsson, who more than once inquired 
if my simple equations enabled me to comprehend the mysteries. 

" Wait till I am done with you," I said ; "then the laugh will 
be on you, and you'll see what my simple equations amount to." 

" No doubt ! no doubt ! " he replied, " but it will take a big 
book to hold all you don't know when you get through." 

At last, after an hour spent in examining the vessel, I emerged 
from the hold, followed by the inventor, who looked displeased 
enough. "Now, sir," I said, "I know all about your machine." 

" Yes," he answered, sneeringly, " and you know twice two are 
four, and a little of simple equations." 

"Now, Mr. Ericsson," I said, "I have borne a good deal from 
you to-day ; you have mocked at my authority and have failed to 
treat me with the sweetness I had a right to expect. I am about to 
have satisfaction, for on my report depends whether or not your 
vessel is accepted by the department, so I will tell you in plain 
terms what I think of your ' iron pot.' " 

"Say what you please," exclaimed Ericsson, glaring at me like 
a tiger ready to spring ; " nobody will mind what you say ! " 

"Well, sir," I continued, "I have looked into the whole thing 
from A to Izzard, and " — gazing steadily at the inventor, not with- 
out apprehensions that he might seize me in his muscular arms and 
squeeze the breath out of my body — "I will say this to the Govern- 
ment — in writing, too, so that there can be no mistake." 

"Go on, sir, go on !" said Ericsson ; "you will run on a rock 
directly. " 

"Well, then," I continued, "I will say that Mr. Ericsson has 



62 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

constructed a vessel — a very little iron vessel — which, in the opinion 
of our best naval architect, is in violation of well-known principles, 
and will sink the moment she touches the water." 

*' Oh," said Ericsson, " he's a fool ! " 

" But," I continued, " I shall say, also, that Mr. Ericsson has 
constructed the most remarkable vessel the world has ever seen— one 
that, if properly handled, can destroy any ship now afloat, and whip 
a dozen wooden ships together if they were where they could not 
manoeuvre so as to run her down." 

Ericsson regarded me in astonishment, then seized my hand 
and almost shook my arm off. **My God !" he exclaimed, *'and 
all this time I took you for a d — d fool, and you are not a d — d fool 
after all!" 

I laughed heartily, as did Ericsson, and we have been the best of 
friends ever since. 

I telegraphed at once to the Navy Department, "Mr. Erics- 
son's vessel is the best fighting machine ever invented, and can 
destroy any ship of war afloat." 

After examining the Galena, I telegraphed, "I am not satisfied 
with the vessel ; she is too vulnerable." 

On my return to "Washington I met a high official of the navy, 
who said to me : '*' We received your highfalutin telegram about 
the Ericsson vessel. Why, man, Lenthall says she will sink as soon 
as she is launched. He has made a calculation, and finds she will 
not bear her iron, much less her guns and stores." 

Both Fox and Lenthall soon had reason to change their opinions 
on this subject ; both became strong advocates of Ericsson's system, 
and in a short time a number of much larger vessels of a similar 
type with the Monitor were commenced, but were not finished in 
time to be of use in the most critical period of the civil war, when 
we came near meeting with serious reverses owing to the great 
energy displayed by the Confederates in improvising heavy iron- 
clads. 

To Ericsson belongs the credit of devising the Monitor class of 
vessels, which gave us a cheap and rapid mode of building a navy 
suitable to our wants at the time. Through his genius we were 
enabled to bid defiance to the maritime powers which seemed dis- 
posed to meddle with our affairs, and it was owing to him that at 
the end of the civil war we were in a condition to prevent any hos- 
tile navy from entering our ports. 

Ericsson may be said to have at one blow destroyed all the 



NEW ORLEANS. 63 

squadrons of Europe, for after the engagement between the Moni- 
tor and the Merrimac it was plainly to be seen that the old- 
fashioned wooden vessels were useless for war purposes, although 
we have held on to our old rattle-traps until we are a by-word 
among the nations — a laughing-stock even to the Chinese ! 

At the age of eighty-four, Ericsson is now a hale, hearty man, 
with a mind as bright as it was thirty years ago. 

The United States owe him a debt they never have repaid and 
never can repay. 

His latest invention is a torpedo which in case of war will bring 
the name of Ericsson again before our people and remind them of 
the man who, in the days of our greatest trial, placed us in a posi- 
tion to bid defiance to foreign and domestic enemies. 

Few nations have had so great an inventive genius as Ericsson 
to assist them with his talents in time of war, and he has also in 
time of peace produced valuable inventions which have added to 
his reputation and to the prosperity of the country. 

By breaking up the great wooden navies of Europe, Ericsson 
helped to place us more on an equality with them as a naval power, 
and the distance is not so great between us but that we may hope 
to overtake them when the people of this country demand a navy 
commensurate with our national importance, and when the exigen- 
cies of politics can no longer prevent proper measures being taken 
for the defense of the nation, which should at all times be in a po- 
sition to protect its citizens at home and abroad. 



CHAPTER VII. 

PLANS FOR THE CAPTURE OF KEW ORLEANS. — CONDUCT OF THE 
PEOPLE ON" OUR TAKING POSSESSION OF THE CITY. — GENERAL 
butler's ADMINISTRATION. 

While I was at the entrance to the southwest pass of the Mis- 
sissippi, I had ample opportunity to find out much that was going 
on at the forts and in the city of New Orleans. 

Upon reaching home in the Powhatan, I proceeded to Washing- 
ton, and found everything at the Navy Department as calm and 
quiet as if we had nothing to do but blockade the Southern ports. 



64: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

I could not obtain an interview with tlie Secretary of the Navy, 
and soon found that I was out of favor since I ran ofE with the 
Powhatan to carry out Mr. Seward's pet scheme of saving Fort 
Pickens. Assistant Secretary Fox was not communicative ; Faxon 
eyed me askance ; Wise was jocose, but knew nothing ; old Commo- 
dore Joe Smith said, " Well, you didn't run away after all ! " etc. ; 
and I wandered about like a cat in a strange garret. 

Presently I encountered Senators Hale and Grimes, standing 
near the door of the Secretary's room. They greeted me warmly, 
made inquiries about my cruise, and when I told them that I had 
come to lay a proposition for the capture of New Orleans before 
the Secretary of the Navy, they became very much interested in the 
project. 

I explained to them the ease with which the city could be cap- 
tured, and the advantages that would accrue from it. The sena- 
tors saw the importance of the matter, and invited me to accompany 
them to see Mr. Welles. 

The Secretary of the Navy, much to my surprise, received me 
kindly, and listened attentively to all I had to say. When I had 
concluded he suggested we should all go to the President. 

We found Mr. Lincoln at the White House pacing the floor, 
calm and thoughtful, and to him I repeated what I had told the 
others, and urged the great importance of the capture of New 
Orleans. When I had finished, the President said, "This reminds 
me of a story which I must tell you all. 

" There was an old woman in Illinois who missed some of her 
chickens, and couldn't imagine what had become of them. Some 
one suggested that they had been carried off by a skunk ; so she told 
her husband he must sit up that night and shoot the 'critter.' 

*'The old man sat up all night, and next morning came in with 
two pet rabbits. ' Thar,' said he, * your chickens are all safe ; thar's 
two of them skunks I killed ! ' 

** * Them ain't skunks,' said the old woman ; * them's my pet rab- 
bits ; you allers was a fool ! ' 

" 'Well, then,' returned the old man, *if them ain't skunks I 
don't know a skunk when I sees it.' 

"Now, Mr. Secretary," said the President, "the navy has been 
hunting pet rabbits long enough ; suppose you send them after 
skunks. It seems to me that what the lieutenant proposes is feasi- 
ble. He says a dozen ships will take the forts and city, and there 
should be twenty thousand soldiers sent along to hold it. After 



PLANS FOR CAPTURING NEW ORLEANS. 65 

New Orleans is taken, and while we are about it, we can push on 
to Yicksburg and open the river all the way along. We will go 
and see General McClellan and find out if he can't manage to get 
the troops." Just then Mr. Seward came in, and we all repaired 
to McClellan's headquarters. 

McClellan came down as soon as the President was announced, 
and recognized me as an old acquaintance. "Why," exclaimed Mr 
Lincoln, " do you two fellows know each other ? So much the bet- 
ter." And he laid the matter before the general in a lucid manner, 
for Mr. Lincoln was quick of comprehension, and said, " You must 
find the troops and a general of good administrative abilities to 
hold the city of New Orleans after the navy shall have captured it. 
Now," continued the President, " time flies, and I want this mat- 
ter settled. I will leave you two gentlemen to arrange the plans, 
and will come over here at eight o'clock this evening to see what 
conclusion you have arrived at." 

So General McClellan and myself were left alone to talk the 
matter over, and we soon determined upon a plan of operations. 
At eight o'clock that evening the President returned to General 
McClellan's headquarters, and was informed that the general could 
spare twenty thousand men to accompany a naval expedition to 
New Orleans, and that they would be ready to embark as soon as 
the naval vessels could be prepared. 

The President then directed the Secretary of the Navy to have 
the necessary number of ships ready. This duty was assigned to 
Assistant Secretary Fox, who took hold of the matter with his 
usual energy, and soon assembled a squadron adequate to the 
occasion. 

Mr. Welles, in an article wliich he published in a magazine 
called the "Galaxy," many years after the expedition to New Or- 
leans, states the matter in quite a different light. Of all the act- 
ors in the scene I have described, only General McClellan and my- 
self survive, and he can corroborate my statement. 

In reference to Mr. Welles's narrative in the " Galaxy," it would 
be charitable to suppose that age had impaired his memory, al- 
though his mind was vigorous to the last. 

I know his friends were disappointed when the above-mentioned 
article appeared. The ex-Secretary evidently wrote under a wrong 
impression, and was disingenuous, to use the mildest expression. 

However, I never noticed the article, thinking myself strong 
enough to defy such attacks, nor would I let my friends publish 
6 



66 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

the papers in my possession that would have refuted Mr. Welles's 
statements. 

Besides, Mr. Welles had, on the whole, been kind to me, and stead- 
ily insisted on my promotion to the rank of rear-admiral and vice- 
admiral, and I felt reluctant to call in question the word of a man 
who had served his country in its darkest hour with fidelity and 
zeal, if not with conspicuous ability. 

There were too many officers living at the time who knew what 
I had done, and I really regretted, for Mr. Welles's sake, that the 
odium of the article fell upon him. 

After settling upon the ships and troops, the next thing to be 
done was to select an officer to command the naval forces. 

Mr. Fox named several, but I opposed them all, and finally 
urged the appointment of Captain D. G. Farragut so strongly that 
I was sent to New York to communicate with him on the subject. 
The result was the acceptance by Farragut of the command — a 
command assuring his reputation, which no man ever more de- 
served. 

This is the way the expedition to New Orleans originated. It 
is a piece of hitherto unwritten history. The limits of this work 
forbid my giving further details. 

When Farragut reached New Orleans with his fleet, of course 
he created great consternation. The people fairly went wild ; they 
set fire to the cotton along the levees, and seemed determined that 
nothing valuable should fall into our hands. They did not appar- 
ently remember that, so far, our navy had respected private rights 
and protected those made homeless by the actions of wild mobs. 

Among the property destroyed were two powerful steamers in- 
tended for ironclads. Had these been finished, they would have 
been strong enough to drive our Union ships from the coast. By 
the time we could have built the proper kind of vessels to compete 
with the monsters the Confederates were constructing, the Missis- 
sippi River would have been so strongly fortified that it would have 
taken years to break the backbone of the Rebellion. 

Instead of wasting our resources in attacking Hatteras Inlet, 
Port Royal, and other places of less importance, we should have 
assailed New Orleans in the first instance with just such a force 
as was finally sent there. It would then have fallen into our hands 
without much resistance ; but the place for a long time was treated 
by the Government as if unworthy of notice. 

New Orleans was the great Southern emporium, and was filled 



IMPORTANCE OF NEW ORLEANS. 67 

with all kinds of naval and military stores, supplied by the rich 
country which borders on the Mississippi and its tributaries, and 
having easy communication with Texas, which could supply an im- 
mense army with food for an indefinite period. 

The ports of Texas were so inadequately guarded that, two years 
after the commencement of hostilities, blockade-runners went in 
and out almost with impunity, taking away a large amount of cot- 
ton, which supplied the Confederates with funds in Europe with 
which to buy everything they needed. 

These articles were sent into Wilmington, Charleston, and 
Savannah, and thence were distributed as occasion required. 

I was in command of the first vessel that undertook the block- 
ade of the Mississippi, having been sent there at my own request 
by Captain McKean. commanding the Niagara. I realized from 
the first the great importance of New Orleans to the Confederates. 
Perhaps because the entrance to the Mississippi was easily block- 
aded it made the Government indifferent, or perhaps, to use an old 
quotation, 

" There were men in high places, 
"With smooth, placid faces, 
With hands meekly folded as if saying grace, 
"While rebellion was moving at an awful fast pace." 

' We either sent ships there too large to cross the bar, or else sailing- 
vessels that were not a particle of use. Those who were on the 
blockade in that quarter a short time after I left can not have for- 
gotten the miserable fiasco made by a detachment of two or three 
vessels that attempted to ascend the river as far as the head of the 
passes, and were obliged to make a shameful retreat, being chased 
down the river and over the bar by the Confederate ram Manassas. 

This event became more notorious from the fact that the sail- 
ing-vessel grounded on the bar near deep water, and a river steamer 
called the Ivy, armed with a three-inch rifle gun, kept the shots 
whistling in so lively a manner around the heads of our people that 
the commanding officer became panic-stricken, wrapped himself in 
the American flag, fired a fuse leading to the magazine, and de- 
serted his ship with his officers and men. 

They all repaired on board the senior officer's ship, much to the 
horror of the latter when he heard that the sloop of war would 
blow up in a few minutes ; but an hour elapsed, and no explosion 
took place. The reason of this was subsequently explained by an 



GS INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

old quartermaster, wlio informed tlio senior officer that just before 
leaving tlie ship he had cut off the burning end of the fuse, think- 
ing the captain might change his mind when he no longer heard 
the whistling of the enemy's shells — a fine commentary on the be- 
havior of his commanding otficcr. 

But to return to Flag Oiiicer Farragut, whom I left at anchor 
before the city of New Orleans, with a vile mob shouting defiance 
at him through the streets, and a foolish Mayor aiding and abet- 
ting their madness, when one broadside from the Ilartford would 
have scattered the rabble like a flock of sheep and set fire to the place. 

If ever Farragut deserved credit, it was for the forbearance and 
humanity he showed to the crowd of maniacs who defied his author- 
ity and did everything in its power to prevent him from taking 
peaceful possession of the city. 

A conqueror is never so great as when governing himself and 
controlling the passions of those around him, in the moment of vic- 
tory, who witness their beaten foes still defying those who have it 
in their power to destroy them. 

This was exactly the state of affairs in New Orleans when Farra- 
gut arrived before the city. 

We had been led to believe that many Union people there were 
actually pining for the sight of the old flag, and that our forces 
would receive the warmest welcome. On the contrary, Farragut 
was met with yells of defiance all along the levee from thousands of 
people mad in every sense of the word. 

They acted as if they had just escaped from a lunatic asylum. 
They ranted, raved, and used such shocking bad language that it 
pained the ears. Boatmen, politicians, sage counselors, women of 
the town, and fish-mongers were all mixed up in a seemingly in- 
extricable mass, defying Farragut's ships with their fists as if they 
would annihilate them. It would have been amusing had not the 
occasion been too serious, and had not the power of the Govern- 
ment required to have been vindicated. 

What a reckless mob it was, to be sure, which one shot from a 
howitzer would have scattered like sheep ! But the maniacs, insti- 
gated by those who ought to have known better, trusted to the 
chivalry of the navy, supposing it would not fire on unarmed peo- 
ple, and resorted to every kind of low abuse the human tongue 
could utter. The Mayor and City Council never reflected how 
much better it would have been for them to have surrendered with 
dignity. 



DEFIANCE OF THE PEOPLE. 69 

Captain Bailey, accompanied by Lieutenant George 11. Perkins, 
was at length sent on shore, with a flag of truce, to wait on the 
Mayor and demand the surrender of the city. These two brave 
officers landed without any support and forced that maddened, 
yelling crowd to open their ranks and let them pass. The mob 
hooted and shook their fists in the officers' faces, shouting, " Choke 
them ! " " Give them rotten eggs ! " Some even threatened them 
with pistols, but they did them no injury, for the crowd was awed, 
if not quieted, by the determined looks of the two officers, who 
marched on to the performance of their mission as coolly as if on 
parade. 

They performed their duty and returned to the ship, escorted 
by the same demoniac rabble. It was a perilous undertaking, and 
had a hair of their heads been injured, the commander-in-chief of 
the squadron would have opened on the city. 

In the days of the French Revolution, when the sans-culotfes 
dragged their victims to the shambles, the mob were not actuated 
by a more devilish spirit than this pleasant party assembled on 
the levee at New Orleans. Men, women, and children of all 
classes stayed, mixed up together, till late that night, and with 
the most discordant shrieks and howls defied Farragut and his 
officers. 

It was a critical moment. The commander-in-chief had im- 
posed upon him a solemn duty to enforce the obedience of a rebel- 
lious city, which lay helpless at his feet, yet was dominated by a 
tumultuous crowd instigated by their leaders to a threatening atti- 
tude, doubtless with the hope that Farragut would be provoked to 
fire into the throng and kill some of their number. 

That would have been a great boon to the inciters of the mob. 
They would have filled the civilized world with their complaints of 
Union cruelty toward helpless women and children, and made many 
misrepresentations not easy to confute, as noxious weeds, when once 
they have taken root, are exceedingly hard to remove. 

Fortunately, Farragut was too humane to gratify these desper- 
ate people, although they gave him no credit for his forbearance, 
and only increased their offensive demonstrations. 

Some officer suggested a dose of grape-shot. ''No," said Farra- 
gut, "the wretches are crazy, and I can't fire on howling maniacs." 

Captain Bell proposed to the flag-officer to let him land the ma- 
rines and plant the Union flag on the Government buildings. To 
this Farra;mt consented. 



70 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

There was never a more hazardous duty than that imposed on 
Captain Bell, and he performed it to the fullest satisfaction of his 
brother officers. His cool conduct even drew respect from the noisy 
rabble, who, although they howled and hooted and used the most 
opprobrious epithets, yet gave way before the steady advance of the 
handful of marines, and then closed in behind them. 

For some time no one could learn the fate of what was thought 
to be a forlorn hope, but the bearing of Bell and his men kept the 
crowd in a certain awe. 

They knew that the well-drilled men and their sturdy leader 
meant business, and no one had the hardihood to strike the first 
blow, although the crowd was so great that they might have closed 
on this handful of men and torn them to pieces. 

At length Bell reached the City Hall and demanded ad- 
mittance. Amid the howls .of the multitude he ascended to the 
roof of the building, leaving the marines to guard the doors, and 
in a few moments the star-spangled banner floated from the flag- 
pole. 

At the same instant a cheer from the crews of the Union vessels 
rang along the levee and up the Mississippi, as if to notify the loyal 
North that the navy had taken possession of the Government prop- 
erty in New Orleans. 

The crowd in the streets was astounded, and for a moment si- 
lenced at the sight of our country's flag floating from the staff where 
lately the rebel ensign had waved. Perhaps they had still a linger- 
ing regard for the flag under which many of them had served in 
days of yore, and to which they had looked for protection. Their 
silence was but momentary, for presently loud shouts went up : 
*' Pull it down ! " " Trample it in the mud ! " " Tear the vile 
rag to pieces ! " 

*'The first man who lays a hand on that flag in my presence," 
said Bell, "will be shot down." 

The crowd knew that he meant what he said, and, although they 
shrieked and yelled and threatened, they committed no overt act, 
but satisfied themselves with cursing the flag as if it did them a 
world of good. 

Any one can be gallant in action, when the excitement of battle 
stirs him up to perform deeds of valor, but when men offer their 
lives by facing a furious mob, that requires heroism. 

There were few men better qualified for such an emergency than 
Captain Bell — a man without bluster, but with a firm purpose to 



GENERAL BUTLER IN COMMAND. 71 

vindicate the authority of his Goverament. He led that forlorn hope 
as he had previously in a little four-gun steamer led his division past 
the batteries below New Orleans. 

General Butler and his troops were in transports at Ship Island 
until Farragut had passed the forts. After the surrender I sent my 
steamers down to the bar and towed such of his vessels as I could 
get hold of up to garrison the two forts. Then I towed as many 
as I could to New Orleans, and the troops landed at the levee about 
a mile below the city. 

When the troops marched into town they found the mob as quiet 
as possible, seeming to have no desire to come into collision with 
those grim Puritans, who were perfectly willing to bayonet any one 
resisting their authority. 

Had Butler's transports been all steamers instead of being mostly 
sailing vessels, and had he followed the navy closely, he might have 
reached New Orleans in time to receive part of the honor due for its 
capture. As it was. General Butler's adherents attempted to mo- 
nopolize the chief credit of the affair, and, in a work issued under 
authority of the War Department, as a record of the times, the 
only reference to the fall of New Orleans is that it was occu- 
pied by the troops under command of General Butler, April 30, 
1862 (!), 

After General Butler commenced to administer affairs at New 
Orleans, Farragut found himself altogether a secondary person. 
There was a number of shells in the arsenal which fitted the ship's 
guns, and Farragut sent an oflBcer to get some of them. But the 
officer was very rudely told to go away and not meddle with things 
to which he had no right — that Butler had captured New Orleans, 
and that Farragut could exercise no authority there. 

" Damn the fellow's impudence ! " said the flag-officer when 
this rebuff was reported to him, which was about the severest ex- 
pression he ever made use of. 

The fact is, that not only was New Orleans captured by the navy 
without any assistance from General Butler or his forces, but it was 
only through the navy that the general maintained his authority in 
the city — a fact which he did not seem to appreciate. 

Butler commenced his administration in a very vigorous man- 
ner, and there was never a conquered city that more needed a firm 
hand to govern it. 

General Shepley, a lawyer of repute and a gentleman of ability, 
was appointed by Butler military governor of the city, and to him 



72 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

belongs the greater share of credit for the administration of affairs 
at New Orleans, although his superior officer managed to appropri- 
ate it for himself. 

General Butler was no doubt very energetic in inflicting punish- 
ment, but I am of opinion that, had he left matters altogether in 
the hands of General Shepley, there would have been a hapj^ier con- 
dition of affairs, although it is true the people of New Orleans were 
a stiff-necked community, who seemed to delight in aggravating 
their conquerors. 

Whatever may be said against General Butler's administration, 
it at least secured good order in a city notorious for the large 
number of desperate characters it contained ; for the first time 
within the memory of man the city was everywhere clean and 
healthy. 

Any one might walk the streets, by day or night, with perfect 
safety. At every corner was a Northern soldier, as stern and un- 
yielding as one of Cromwell's Ironsides. 

There was a secret police established, if not equal to that of 
Fouche, yet quite adequate to the occasion. 

Commerce again began to show itself along the levees, and the 
stevedores, but lately part and parcel of the mob which ruled the 
hour, were tumbling cotton into vessels that had been towed up 
from the bar ; like seabirds, they followed in the wake of the naval 
vessels to pick up the crumbs. 

All was apparently as pleasant as a summer evening, when the 
moon was at its full and the sea-breeze rippling the water with its 
cool freshness. 

The almighty Union dollar, with its beautiful engraved vignette 
and its look as if it was the true original, had almost immediately 
thrown into the shade its humbly dressed Confederate namesake 
worth about three cents — ^not enough to buy half a pint of gumbo- 
soup. 

The crowd surged where the Union dollars were most abundant, 
and in a week, although merchant-vessels were not as plentiful as 
of yore, still there was an appearance of new life. 

The people, however, were sulky, particularly the women, and 
the ladies would not associate with the Union officers, drew their 
dresses close to them when they passed a Northern soldier, and 
some of the less refined spat upon the ground to show their con- 
tempt of their enemies, and even mocked when Union soldiers 
were carried to their graves. However, these cases were excep- 



GENERAL BUTLER'S SYSTEM. 73 

tions, and General Butler left nothing undone to put a stop to 
such conduct. 

His system was doubtless lacking in tact, and he would 
have saved himself a deal of trouble by not seeing too much. 
The most prominent disturbers of the peace were women, some 
of them supposed to be ladies, who, in their zeal for the Con- 
federate cause, violated the proprieties of life. But it should 
have been taken into consideration that they were women, that 
it is the custom in this country to give them great latitude 
and to make for them every allowance, and that the consider- 
ation for them even extends to surrendering our seats in an 
omnibus ! 

I would have dealt with forbearance in such cases, except one, 
having satisfied myself of the expediency of humoring the gentler 
sex when there was no actual danger in so doing. 

General Butler was not popular at New Orleans, although the 
city was never so clean, healthy, and orderly as under his regime ; 
but when Banks relieved Butler the inhabitants soon wished the 
latter back again. Butler's rule, if severe, was consistent, and 
everybody knew what to expect, while Banks's administration 
showed less ability, and his ways subjected him to criticism, which 
was not wholly undeserved. 

Like the Caliph Haroun al Easchid, Butler loved to prowl 
around at night and see for himself what was going on, and en- 
deavor to entrap the governor, chief of police, or others of his sub- 
ordinates. He had means of obtaining information that they did 
not possess, and it gave the general great delight to twit them with 
news he had obtained in advance of them. 

Butler held court daily, and dealt out his sentences with un- 
sparing hand. One day, after the session was over, he beckoned 
the chief of police to him and said : " Look here, captain, you have 
mistaken your business. I might as well have a log of wood on 
the police force. If you ever find anything out, I am none the 
wiser. I find out everything without your help. " 

"I tell you everything of importance," replied the chief of po- 
lice. "I don't trouble you with every trifle that comes under my 
notice. If I did, you would think me a gossip." 

*'Well, sir," said the general, "how are you to find out any- 
thing except through gossip ? I don't think you know anything to 
gossip about." 

The captain smiled. '"Ah, general," he said, "I know every- 



74 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

thing that occurs iu 'New Orleans ; everybody's moyements ; what 
more would you have ? " 

''Bosh ! " said Butler. "I don't believe it ; you had better say 
you know my movements." 

"But, sir," replied the captain, "you are the commander-in- 
chief, and we don't pretend to know what you do." 

" It is your business," said the general, " to know every one's 
movements. You are a humbug, sir, and I don't believe in you." 

" I am sorry, sir, to have lost your confidence," said the chief of 
police; "but, if it will afford you any satisfaction, I could tell 
every movement you have made in the past twenty-four hours." 

"Where was I last night at ten o'clock ?" inquired the general. 

*'At General Shepley's, eating a terrapin supper," was the re- 

"At eleven o'clock ? " continued the general. 

" Closeted with your brother at his quarters." 

"At twelve o'clock ?" inquired Butler. 

"Well, sir, you left your brother's at 11.15, went to No. 1,220 
Canal Street, knocked at the door, which was opened by — " 

" Shut up, d — n you ! " thundered the irate general ; " you are 

too inquisitive. The time you spent in spying after me might 

have been devoted to some useful purjjose. However, I am satisfied. 
But who shadows you, and who shadows the fellow that shadows 
you ? That's what I'd like to know." 

One day the general was going to his office with only a single 
orderly following, when he saw two Union soldiers talking in a 
friendly manner with a man who was leaning on a spade, having 
evidently stopped work for the purpose of having a chat. The 
general was in citizen's dress, and therefore did not attract particu- 
lar notice. 

As he passed near the group he heard the man with the spade 
say, " We rebs gave you Yanks hell at Shiloh, didn't we ? " 

The general was horrified to think that any one in his jurisdic- 
tion should dare to talk treason openly. 

"Bring that man to my oflBce !" roared the general to the sol- 
diers. " I will make him eat his words." 

The man with the spade protested that he meant no harm, but, 
in spite of all he could say, he was marched off to the general's 
ofiBce. 

It was after two o'clock before the general got through with the 
docket of poor devils and had time to turn his attention to the 



BUTLER AND THE IRISHMAN. ^5 

man with the spade, who, from the severity of the punishment 
awarded his fellow-prisoners, began to think he had got into a 
pretty bad scrape. 

At length the general glared at him fiercely and inquired : 
** What did I hear you say to those two soldiers ? Tell the truth 
now." 

''Well, gin'ral," said the man, 'Tm willin' yer honor should 
know everything I said, an' I'm sure yer honor will agree with me 
when yer hear what I really did say. Mike Donovan is not the 
man to belie what he says, nivir the bit of it, yer honor." 

''Well, then, speak out," said the general, "and tell me what 
you said." 

"All I said, gin'ral," replied Mike, "to thim two Union boys 
wid whom I was talkin' friendly-like, was, ' Didn't we rebs give you 
Yanks hell at Shiloh ? ' an' that's the whole ov it, gin'ral." 

"And that speech," said the general, "will send you to work 
for the Government with a ball and chain to your leg." 

" Oh, howly Moses ! " exclaimed Donovan, "an' what'll become 
ov me wife and childer ? I can't stand the work, and the muskeet- 
ers will suck all the blood out ov me a-workin' in the foorts ; bitter 
the day that I left the bogs of auld Ireland. Forgive me, gin'ral, 
for the sake ov me wife and childer." 

"You ought to have thought of your family before you made 
treasonable speeches under the Union flag," said the general. " You 
know the Bible says the sins of the father shall be visited on the 
children." 

"But, gin'ral, is there nothing I can say," said the man, "to do 
away wid your displeasure ? I'll worruk the skin off me hands if 
ye'U let me sarve out me sintince here an' not sind me to the foorts." 

" No," replied the general, " I make no terms with such a traitor 
as yourself ; however, there is one thing that may save you. Will 
you take the oath of allegiance to the United States ? " for General 
Butler considered the taking of the oath a panacea for all evils ; 
any one who took it was, as it were, born again. 

"Oh, yis, yer honor," said the man, his face brightening up ; 
" faith, an' I'll take it iron-clad, or copper fastened, or any other 
kind of oath to get out of this trouble, an' I'll kape it, too." 

The Bible was brought out, and Mr, Donovan took his solemn 
oath to be faithful to the Union and serve with heart and soul in 
her hour of need, probably with a reservation in favor of the stars 
and bars, for which he had lately been so enthusiastic. 



76 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

"When this important ceremony was concluded the newly made 
patriot turned to the general and said, " Now I'm a Union man and 
no mistake, ain't I ? " 

"Yes, you are," replied the general, "and take care you keep 
your oath, or I will hang you." 

"Divil a bit there's a break in me," said Donovan. "I'm in- 
titled to all the pertection av the Government, ain't I ?" 

" Certainly," said the general. 

"An' I'm to be pertected in free spache like any other Union 
man ? " • 

"Yes, yes," replied the general. 

"Well, thin, gin'ral, yer honor, I want to ask yer honor wan 
question, if yer honor plazes." 

" Out with it," said the general, "for I can't stand here all the 
morning bothering with your affairs." 

"Well, thin, gin'ral, yer honor," said Mike, "didn't thim rebs 
give us Yanks hell at Shiloh ? " 

The general collapsed. "Get out of this quick, and don't let 
me ever hear you say ' Shiloh ' again, or you may find your way to 
the forts yet, notwithstanding your oath of allegiance." 

Mr, Donovan did not wait for a second invitation, but slipped 
off to join his "wife and childer," and the general, although rather 
amused at the incident, cautioned the police to keep an eye on this 
newly fledged Union man. 

There was no apparent Union feeling in New Orleans when we 
captured it. There may have been isolated cases of persons who 
still had a love for the Union of their fathers, but the only person 
whom I ever knew to extend the hand of welcome to a Union officer 
was the late William H. Hunt, afterward Secretary of the Navy 
and Minister to Russia. 

He was outspoken in his friendship for the Union men, but it 
lost him the good-will of the residents of New Orleans, and after 
the war he was obliged to move North on account of the social press- 
ure against him. 

I met people in the street whom 1 had formerly known intimate- 
ly, but they passed me as if I were a stranger. Any manifestation 
of Union feeling would have been encouraging, but there was not 
enough to raise a flutter. 

I had some old friends in the city, with whom I had been ac- 
customed to stay when I was there, and of whom I was very fond. 

As soon as I could find time I procured protection papers for 



CALLING UPON OLD FRIENDS. 77 

these friends — at that period a matter of great importance — and, 
armed with these, I went in pursuit of them. 

I found the house just as when I was last there, a few years be- 
fore, and in a neighborhood so quiet that it would seem that the 
sounds of war could never penetrate there. 

The blinds were drawn, but I did not think anything of that, 
as New Orleans ladies are proud of their complexions, and I thought 
they might wish to show themselves to the best advantage in a sub- 
dued light. 

There was no answer to my knock at the door, although I knew 
the family were in the house. I continued knocking until people 
in the neighborhood, attracted by the unusual noise in that quiet 
street, began to look from their windows. At last, in despair of 
getting an answer, I put my hand on the knob, the door opened, 
and I walked in. 

I saw no one in the lower part of the house until I reached the 
kitchen, where the cook, an old acquaintance, was seated, pipe in 
mouth, beside the hearth. 

*' Milly," said I, " don't you know me ? " 

*'No, sar, nebber seed you befo','' was the reply. 

''Where's your old mistress ? " I inquired. 

"She ain't bar, sar ; she done gone out." 

" Where is Miss Mary, then ? " 

" She done gone out too." 

" Where are the rest of the family ? " 

"Dey is all done gone out, sar, as you kin see fo' yourse'f." 

" Where have they gone ? " 

"Don't know noffin' 'bout it, sar," said Milly. 

" And you say you don't know me, Milly ? " I inquired. 

"No, sar, nebber seen you afore in my born days, do I specs 
youse one ob dem Union folks what's come here to kill us all." 

" Now, Milly," I said, "I believe you are lying, and that the 
family are at home. Go tell them I am here, and shall not leave 
until I see them." 

"Dey don't know you, sar," said Milly, "kase youse de enemy 
ob dar country." 

" Oh, that's it, is it ? Very well, I will sit in the parlor until 
I see the family if I have to stay there a week," I said. 

"Dey is done gone away for two week," said the old darkey, 
" and won't nebber come back s'long as you is here." So saying, she 
knocked the ashes from her pipe and disappeared into the wash-room. 



78 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

At that moment a parrot, from his perch in the kitchen, broke 
out into a hoarse laugh, whistled, flapped his wings, and yelled out, 
" Que voulez-vous ? " That was the straw that broke the camel's 
back, and I retreated from the inhospitable kitchen and took a seat 
in the parlor. 

For half an hour I waited, but not a sound met my ear. At 
length a little nigger, with nothing on but a shirt, poked his head 
in the door, then vanished as if he had seen a ghost. 

At the expiration of another half-hour a superannuated dog, 
whom I had known well in former days and with whom I was once 
a favorite, looked into the apartment, fixed his blear eyes on me for 
a moment, dropped his head, and walked away with the hairs on 
his back bristling up. 

Still I sat there ; the time passed so slowly it seemed as if I had 
been there for hours. I picked up a guitar from the corner and 
played an air well known to the family. I heard a discordant 
laugh, and, looking up, saw the parrot hobbling in. It sang out, 
** Que voulez-vous f " and out it went again, screaming. 

I was in despair. Neither cook, dog, parrot, or little nigger 
would have anything to do with me. 

Presently I heard the rustle of a dress on the stair, and in sailed 
a graceful woman, once a warm friend. I arose, extended my 
hand, and exclaimed, "I am delighted to see you." 

The lady was as stiff and cold as Lot's wife when turned into 
the pillar of salt. 

" I can't shake hands with an enemy of my country," she said. 
"How do I know but what one of your bomb-shells has fallen on 
the head of one of my sons, who are gloriously fighting for their 
beloved country ? " — one boy was thirteen years old and the other 
eleven ! 

" How came you to let them go ?" I inquired. 

''They ran away," she replied, *'to the forts, to help keep 
Farragut's fleet from the city." 

"A forlorn hope, my good friend," said I ; ''but you need fear 
nothing : boys of that tender age would be well cared for by the 
officers, and not allowed to expose themselves." 

'^I am not your good friend,'''' said the lady. "I am your ene- 
my, and ma told me to say that if you had come here wounded 
and dying, she wouldn't have given you a glass of water." 

"Shocking !" I exclaimed ; "but I don't believe a word of it. 
If I had come here wounded, your mother would have been the 



A REBUFF. 79 

first to hunt me up and attend me. Now listen to me/' I contin- 
ued ; '' all this talk of yours is nonsense and very unbecoming. 
You are too kind-hearted a woman to express such sentiments. 
You have committed a certain part to memory like that parrot of 
yours, and don't mean half you say." 

She began to cry. Get a woman to crying, and her enmity is 
half conquered. Tears open the fountain of the heart. In half 
an hour we were as good friends as ever. I pressed upon her Gen- 
eral Butler's protection, which I thought the family might need. 
Although at first she was opposed to touching the papers, yet when 
I told her they meant safety from domiciliary visits, guardianship 
of the police, bread and meat in case of scarcity of provisions, etc., 
she was satisfied. 

This lady was the only member of the family who would see me, 
though I knew they were all up-stairs. 

"When I went away I said, " We shall not meet again, for I 
shall not subject myself to another rebuff such as I have this day 
experienced, and I have no doubt you will all regret your action." 

" No," she replied, ** we are determined to hold no intercourse 
with our enemies, no matter what happens, and I know ma will 
never forgive me for being so friendly with you. Don't come here 
again, for it is painful to us all to meet you." 

I departed, sad enough to see the minds of people whom I 
knew to be as good and kind as any in the world so warped by 
their secession sentiments, about the merits of which they had not 
the faintest idea. They were afflicted with a madness for which 
there was no antidote at hand. 

"Old Clootie was with them ; he said all was right. 
Ee held the bottle and urged on the fight." 

I did not see my secession friends for a long time afterward. 

Soon after the fall of Vicksburg, on July 4, 1863, I proceeded 
in my flag-ship Black Hawk to New Orleans, in order that Admi- 
ral Farragut might turn over to me the command of the entire 
Mississippi Eiver and its tributaries. 

On the second night of my arrival in New Orleans I was sit- 
ting in the cabin, when Fleet-Captain Breese came in and informed 
me that au elderly lady wished to see me. "From what I have 
heard you say," he continued, " I think it must be your old friend 
Mrs. .» 

I went at once into the forward cabin, and found it was indeed 
my old friend who a year ago had thought so hardly of me. 



80 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

As I entered the cabin she rushed toward me, but I stood un- 
moved, bowed formally, and said, " I am the admiral, madam ; can 
I be of any service to you ? " 

" Why," exclaimed the lady, "am I so changed that you do not 

recognize me ? Why, I am Mrs. , your old friend who always 

loved you like a son." 

"Impossible, madam," I replied. "You can not be Mrs. . 

Why, the last time I was here in 1862 she wouldn't see me, although 
I called at her house to offer her assistance and protection. She 
sent me word by her daughter that if I had come to her wounded 
and dying she wouldn't have given me a cup of water to quench 
my thirst." 

" Oh, no ! " she exclaimed, "I never said that — never, never ! 
We are all Union people now ; we are no longer Confederates. 
Pierre has a twelve-hundred-dollar clerkship m the post-office, 
Walter has a nine-hundred-dollar place in the custom-house, 
George is in the Commissary-General's office, James is a clerk on the 
levee to register cargo from Government steamers, and Harry is in 
the Signal Service. We were never so well o2 in our lives before. 
I have my pension, which I couldn't get while the rebels held the 
city, and Mary and Emma have both a promise for the place of 
folders in the post-office within the next month. Oh, we are all for 
the Union and the old flag ! 

"And then," continued the old lady, "New Orleans is so beau- 
tiful now ; it is clean as a new pin, there is no sickness, you never 
see a drunken man, there are no gambling-houses to entice young 
men from home, the markets are so cheap, and the streets are so 
orderly that a woman can walk them alone at any hour of the 
night. Yes, we are all Union. Cousin Le Bert is to be appointed 
solicitor of something, I don't know exactly what, and uncle La 
Bias is to be Captain of the Port. Oh, what a happy Union fam- 
ily we are ! 

"And it is so lovely here now ! " went on the old lady. " Gen- 
eral Banks is such a handsome man and Mrs. Banks such a lovely 
woman, and they keep up such style, and ride in a splendid carriage 
with a body-guard just like royalty. Mrs. Banks has her weekly 
receptions at the St. Charles, and all the best ladies appear there in 
laces and diamonds. They say Queen Victoria don't ha^e anything 
to equal it. 

" And then, too, Cousin Le Febre is going to become Union as 
soon as he can get the position of steamboat inspector, and — " 



A CHANGE OF SENTIMENT. 81 

There is no knowing how long the old lady would have run on 
had I not interrupted her. 

"Well," I said at last, *' my dear old friend, since you have be- 
come Union and love the flag under which all of us were born, 
come to my arms. I don't believe you ever said what they accused 
you of. You can thank your stars that you are living once more 
under the folds of the star-spangled banner, and that you have a 
beneficent Government that will provide offices for all the family 
and secure to you a pension for the services of your gallant hus- 
band, who would have died sooner than raise a hand against his old 
flag." 

"Ah, yes," sighed the old lady, "he was Union all over, but 
there was no craziness in the air then ; everybody was happy, every- 
body had an office, and all the widows had pensions." 

"My dear friend," said I, "that's the only way to preserve the 
Union ; give every one a fat office, and they will stick to the flag 
until it blows away. That was the difficulty with half the people ; 
they had to go out of office and see the other half come in, and, 
not liking to give up the loaves and fishes, they established an 
office for each one of themselves. I think your idea of keeping up 
the Union is the correct one. Still you have been guilty of an 
oversight in not securing offices for that old dog of yours and that 
intelligent parrot ; they seem to have been left out in the cold." 

"Ah, yes," said Mrs. , "you remember them, do you? 

"Well, worse people than they have been appointed to office." 

"I hope both of them are loyal to the Union," said I. 

"Yes," she replied, "the dog will bark at a rebel soldier, and 
the parrot can say Vive la lagatelle ! " 

Next day my old friend and all her grandchildren, nephews, 
nieces, sisters, cousins, and aunts dined with me and insisted on 
having the Union flag festooned over the doors so that they might 
show their Union feeling by walking underneath. They all 
seemed contented and happy. I am satisfied that if, at the com- 
mencement of the war, every man in the rebel army had been given 
an office, and all the widows in the Confederacy a pension, the revo- 
lution would not have lasted a week. 

New Orleans was a prolific field for anecdotes of the war, but 
my limits will not permit me to linger here any longer, and, as 
these reminiscences are simply for amusement and not for the pur- 
pose of exciting unkind feeling, I will pass on. 



82 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 



CHAPTER VIII. 

ASCENDING THE MISSISSIPPI — ODD SPECIMENS OF CONFEDEEATES 
— A PLANTATION MANSION — DOUBTING MOSES, 

"While ascending the Mississippi on my way to join Farragut at 
Vicksburg, I had a good opportunity of witnessing the disposition 
of the people along the river. Notwithstanding our desire to be 
friends with them, they would have nothing to do with us — they 
were mad with the secession fever. As to the women, they were 
very Spartans in the secession cause ; in fact, rather overdid the 
matter. 

One day, while turning a bend in the river with two schooners 
in tow of my vessel, a boat containing two men was seen crossing 
the river ahead of us. We had just been fired upon by field-pieces 
from a high bluff, and several of our men had been killed and 
wounded. I wanted to find out the name of the place, so that I 
could warn our vessels to be on their guard when they reached that 
point and have their batteries ready. We, having a mortar-vessel 
on each side of our steamers, could not respond to such attacks, 
and had to bear them as best we could. 

I captured the boat and brought the two men on board my ves- 
sel. Far from showing any fear, these persons were as defiant as 
possible. They were coarsely dressed in linsey-woolsey, wore slouch 
hats, and had the appearance of laborers. 

"I'd like to know," said one of them, "how you dare captur' a 
peaceable citizen of the Confed'rit States who ain't done nothin' to 
you. This is a highway, and I think we have a right to travel it." 

" Walk down in the cabin, gentlemen," I said, "and take some 
refreshments." 

"We ain't no gentlemen," said the man, "an' we don't want 
none of your dam' refreshments. We've got a gallon of whisky 
good enough for an emperor in our dug-out, an' we don't want any 
of your molasses and water. Zeke an' I have taken four drinks al- 
ready since we left the store." 

The last statement accounted for their belligerent attitude. 

"Well, then, gentlemen," I said, "may I at least have the 
pleasure of knowing your names." 

"I told you," said the man, "that we ain't no gentlemen ; we 



TWO RARE CONFEDERATES. 83 

are Confed'rit citizens ; but, if it'll do you any good, my name is 
Jake Potter, and this other feller is Zeke Opdyke." 

"Well, Jake," said I, "you and Zeke are not Confederate sol- 
diers, are you ? " 

"I'm Jake to my friends," said the man, "but you an' I ain't 
intimate enough for you to call me Jake. My name's Mr. Potter 
when you speak to me." 

"And I," spoke up the other, "am Mr. Opdyke when I'm taken 
outer my boat an' my w'isky-jug left in thar for yer dam sailors 
to suck. I seen one just now pokin' his long nose inter it." 

I acknowledged the force of the rebuke. "Well, Mr. Potter," 
said I, " I suppose you are an out-and-out rebel." 

" You bet I am," replied that worthy. 

"And me, too," said Mr. Opdyke, "though day afore yesterday 
I was on the fence." 

"And pray, sir, if I may inquire, what caused you to change 
your sentiments ? " 

"Well, then, Kurnel," said Mr. Opdyke, "if you must know, 
the Confed'rit Gov'ment hired my wagon-team at three dollars a 
day, an' I jined 'em right off." 

" They pay you in Confederate money, I suppose," was my next 
remark. 

" What 'n thunder do you s'p'ose they'd pay me in, Kurnel ? " 
inquired Mr. Opdyke. " You don't suppose I'd take that Union 
trash, worth only eighty cents on the dollar, while ourn is worth a 
hundred an' twenty, do ye ? " 

"Well, Mr. Potter," I said, turning to the other man, "where 
were you born ? " 

"Now, Kurnel, it strikes me you are gittin' a leetle too inquisi- 
tive, but, if it'll do you any good, I was born in East Haddam, Con- 
necticut." 

"And Mr. Opdyke ?" I inquired. 

"Well," he said, "not more'n a yard from the same place." 

"And you have joined the rebels heart and soul?" I in- 
quired. 

"You bet we have," they both replied at once. 

" How long have you been South, Mr. Potter ? " I asked. 

*'Wall, I don't know as I'm bound to crimernate myself, but 
I don't mind tellin' you I've been here goin' on two year. We two 
come South together, but we ain't a goin' to answer any more ques- 
tions s' long as we're pris'ners." 



84: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

"You are not prisoners," I said ; *' we don't make war on un- 
armed men or women." 

"The deyil you don't," said Mr. Opdyke ; ''if some of them 
bummers of yourn didn't steal all the chickens off Mrs. Clapham's 
plantation last night, then I'll be fizzled ! " 

That rather took me aback ; but, quickly recovering, I said, 
*'Can you tell me the name of the vessel that perpetrated such an 
outrage ? " 

"She was called the Sally Brown," replied Mr. Opdyke. ("It 
is the Sarah Bruen," whispered one of the officers to me. ) 

" Yes," continued Mr. Potter, " them fellers on board the Sally 
Brown tuk a lot of water without askin' fur it, an' now, if you 
don't call that makin' war on defenseless people, I dunno what you 
do call it." 

"But," said I, "didn't the jDGoiole in the Sally Brown pay for 
the chickens ? " 

"Wall, yes," said Mr. Opdyke, "sich pay as it was ; they only 
gin six dollars, an' Union dollars at that, for a dozen chickens, 
while all along the river they charges six Confed'rit dollars for one 
chicken." 

At this statement we all laughed, much to the annoyance of the 
Southern sympathizers. " You larf now, Kurnel," said Mr. Potter, 
"but you'll larf t'other side of yer mouth afore you git to Vicks- 
burg. Kirby Smith'll pickle you about twenty miles above here." 

"Thank you, Mr. Potter, for your information," I said, "we 
will try to be ready for him." 

" Oh, he'll larf at them ole iron pots of yourn," said Mr. Potter, 
pointing to the mortars. 

"Well, Mr. Potter, please tell me how long you resided in Con- 
necticut." 

"Now, Kurnel," said Mr. Potter, " I don't know as that's any- 
thing to you, but I don't mind tellin' you I was there, man an' 
boy, fur twenty-nine year." 

"And you, Mr. Opdyke?" 

"Well," he replied, "I lived there twenty-seven year." 

"And do you mean to tell me that you two gentlemen, after 
living in your native State twenty-nine and twenty-seven years, re- 
spectively, after forming the dearest ties and associations, can come 
South and in two short years be won over by these people — one of 
you by hiring his cart, the other for I don't know what ? " 

"Wall, Kurnel," said Mr. Potter, "you talk durned well, but 



MR. POTTER'S STORY. 85 

all them hifalutin' words is wasted on me ; if you had married a 
wildcat widder, with a wildcat darter sixteen years old, an' Jeff 
Davis a backin' on 'em up, you wouldn't a stood out an hour. I 
stuck it out for three days an' nights, a sittin' out in the rain, be- 
fore I became a Confed'rit." 

" Yes," interrupted Mr. Opdyke, ^' the ole woman kep' a double- 
barrel gun handy for him, an' says she, 'Jake, don't you move till 
you're ready to become one of us, or I'll work some button-holes in 
your dam' Yankee carcase ! ' " 

"And what made you surrender, Mr. Potter ?" I inquired. 

"Why," replied that worthy, "when Zeke he come over to 
fetch me some whisky, my old woman she run out and smashed the 
bottle over Zeke's head, an' then, when I was most starved an' begged 
for suthin to eat, she sent me a bowl o' hot water with a chicken- 
feather in it. ' Thar,' says she, ' that 'ere chicken-soup is all you'll 
git till you h'ist the Confed'rit flag.' So I had to cave in. Zeke can 
tell you what I went through with ; you wouldn't have stood it 
half a day, Kurnel, I know it by the cut of your jib." 

" But how did you come to marry such a woman, Mr. Potter ? " 
said I, sympathetically. 

"Ah," replied the victim, "the Lord only knows. Zeke can 
tell you all about it, but it overcomes me to think of it, unless I 
have a drink of w'isky." 

I ordered the steward to bring up what was called on board 
"vinegar bitters," but which I could not help suspecting was some- 
thing stronger. 

Mr. Potter smacked his lips as he took the medicine. " That 
there stuff is real ole Union, an' no mistake. It held me back some 
time afore I'd think of jinin' the Confed'rits, for fear I'd never be 
able to go back an' have a fling at the old critter. But you can call 
us Jake an' Zeke now, Kurnel, as much as you please. I ain't a 
goin' to stand on ceremony with a feller as keeps such likker as 
that, an' a man as sympathizes with another as you done with me. 
Why, if I'd a bin yer brother you couldn't a took more interest in 
my case. Tell the kurnel all about it, Zeke." 

"Yes," said his friend, "just as soon as I get a mouthful of 
them bitters to sustain me while I relate that melancholy story ov 
your marryin' that durned alligator, as goes cavortin' round the 
house as if she owned all the guaner islands in the Pacific Ocean. 

"Well, you must know, Kurnel, me an' Jake was hired hands 
on Mrs. Kumpkins's place. We was hired the day old Rumpkins 



86 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

died to help handle the coffin, an' two weeks arter I hearn that gal 
of hem say, *Ma, I'm tired a to tin' wood an' feedin' the cow, an' 
we must have a man ter do it.' 

" 'Well,' said Mrs. Kumpkins, 'hain't we got two men ? Make 
one of 'em tote wood ; they kin do it when they comes to their 
meals.' 

" 'I asked one of 'em,' said Belle, 'an' he tole me he'd see me 
durned first. We don't want that kind of a man, ma ; we want a 
married man ; we can do as we please with a good-natered feller 
like ole Pop, who can't get away if we crowd him. You must 
marry Jake or Zeke. If you don't I will, an' I'd like to hear him 
say then that he'll see me durned first.' 

"'You're crazy. Belle,' says the ole catamount. 'Your pop's 
only dead two weeks, an' you want me to marry agin.' 

" ' Well, then,' says Belle, ' say three weeks an' bring him to the 
halter, for I ain't a goin' to tote no more wood, nor feed no more 
cow arter that.' 

" 'Well, I agree to that,' says old Mrs. Eumpkins. 

" ' Cos if you don't,' said Belle, ' I'll marry one on 'em myself, 
an' we'll see who is mistress then.' 

" I wish you could a seen how Mrs. Eumpkins laid out her lines. 
You seen a cat watchin' a canary-bird, ain't you ? an' how the 
critter crawls up an' purrs soft as a Jew's-harp, an' then you seen the 
little bird jumpin' round all in a twitter, an' how at last, when the 
canary clings with its claws to the wires of its cage, Mrs. Cat grabs 
him, an' he's a goner. 

" That's the way Mrs. Eumpkins done. Says she, ' Belle, I'll 
take Jake. I don't like that other feller ; he eats too much, an' I'll 
get rid of him.' So she piled it up sweet on Jake until he didn't 
know his alphabet from the multiplication table, an' then she lassoed 
him. You seen 'em catch cattle in Texas ? They have a long lariat, 
an' throw it over the critter's horns goin' full split, an' bring him 
up all standin'. Now Mrs. Eumpkins uses her long, oily tongue 
for a lariat, an' so wound it round poor Jake he couldn't a tole who 
he was ; then, when he was quiet as an old horse with a cart-load 
of bricks behind him, she marches him off to Squire Spanker's 
office. 

'"Here, Squire,' says she, 'is a man wot owes me reparation, 
an' I'll pay the two dollars fur the marriage ceremony, an' here's 
the same ring as poor, dear Eumpkins put on my finger, an' I'll use 
it agin. This 'ere feller is a Yank, an' I want him to see that he 



MR. POTTER'S MARITAL EXPERIENCES. 87 

can't come down here an' win the affections of a lone widder, an' 
then go off an' larf at her.' 

" ' Well, sir,' says the squire to Jake, 'what have you got to say 
to these here charges ? ' 

" ' Donno ! ' says Jake. 

" ' Well, then, stan' up an' be married, or else be drafted into 
the Confed'rit army,' says the squire. So they was married then 
an' there, an' the widder tuk his arm an' toted him home, an' says 
she, * Now, Jake, afore you get a bit of weddin'-cake, tote in the 
wood for the day, an' mix the feed for the cow.' Jake obeyed 
orders, an' has been the most successful husband I ever see. The 
only time he ever showed a disposition to kick was when they 
wanted him to turn Confed'rit, an' then the ole woman went for 
Jake with a shot-gun. Now that's the whole story. We are both 
Confeds, an' you can't help us. Belle's got her eye on me, an' I'd 
no more dare desert than nothin' ! ' " 

All this time Jake said nothing, but looked very melancholy. 

"Well, Mr. Potter," I said, "you must keep up your spirits; 
worse things have happened to people, and they have lived to get 
over it." 

"Yes," said the victim, "I might a-married 'em both to onct, 
an' then what would I do but jine the Confed'rit army, an' git a 
Union bullet through me ? " 

While all this was going on we had proceeded some distance up 
the river. I therefore recommended that the two men should go 
home, for fear Mrs. Potter would come after them. So they bade 
us good-by, and stepped into their skiff with rather sorrowful 
faces. Mr. Potter's last words were, "Kurnel, don't forget to say, 
all along the river, what all-fired rebels we two fellers are. If I 
warn't afeard the old woman would hear me — for she has ears as 
long as a telegraph-pole — I'd hip, hip, hurrah ! for the old flag ; 
but it can't be did." 

Mr. Potter's experience was a sad commentary on the matrimo- 
nial state ; but Mrs. Rumpkins must not be taken as a representa- 
tive Southern woman, for the women of the South, though of 
Spartan character and willing to suffer everything rather than sac- 
rifice their opinions, have generally much gentleness and refine- 
ment. 

That night we tied up to the bank at Landing, where some 

of the bomb-vessels, alias "bummers," had preceded me. 

When I arrived the levee was all lighted up by the bonfires 



88 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

which the negroes had kindled, which brought out in relief the 
dusky forms of four or five hundred of the colored population, to- 
gether with the mansion of the owner of the estate, and the cabins 
of the negroes. 

On the front porch of the mansion were collected the gentlefolks, 
their faces exhibiting some wonder and alarm. 

As soon as the vessels were secured to the bank, we landed about 
a hundred armed sailors and marched them to the rear of the 
houses, as a precaution against an attack by guerrillas or light artil- 
lery, which had begun to infest the banks of the river. 

I sent an officer at once to inform the lady of the mansion — for 
I was told there were only ladies there — that she need be under no 
apprehensions, as these were only sentries thrown out to keep the 
sailors from wandering about her place. 

In the mean time the negroes were so jubilant and boisterous 
that they could not restrain themselves ; they danced about like 
mad, and scattered the fire so that I began to fear the buildings 
would be ignited from the flying sparks ; so I went on shore to have 
a talk with them. All the negroes rushed up to me like wild men. 
Some wanted to shake hands, some to sell chickens — "only half 
dollar 'piece, massa " ; some women wanted to know if I had " any 
clo' fo' wash — only dollar dozen, sah," while the j^ickaninnies were 
turning somersaults almost into the fire. 

*'Look here," I exclaimed, "this won't do. You are disturb- 
ing the ladies at the house with your noise, and we can't sleep on 
board the vessels with all this howling going on." 

"Oh, de ladies don't mine de noise, Massa Capen ; dis is our 
night (Saturday), when de work all done," said a dozen voices, "an' 
we want to ax you, sah, if you won't go coon-huntin' ? " 

"No, I thank you," said I; "but I'll tell you what I would 
like : bring your banjos, and sing me a plantation song." 

No sooner said than done ; three or four banjos, together with 
bones and other accompaniments, were produced. I knew if I 
could get the party to singing they would quiet down in a short 
time, music has such an effect on them. 

I sent for the ship's bugler, and told him to stand by to play 
" Home, Sweet Home " when I gave the order, the negroes all 
this time keeping up a great chattering, and seeming unable to 
agree upon a programme, until a venerable darkey, in a voice of 
authority, sang out, "Look hyar, you niggers! don' make fools 
of yerse'fs, an' make dese gentlemen tink yer got no more manners 



UNCLE MOSES AND A NEGRO MELODY, 89 

'an a groun' hog ! " at which speech the negroes all yelled, " Bully 
fer you, Uncle Moses ! " 

At that moment the bugler struck up ''Home, Sweet Home," 
and you might have heard a pin drop. The only music these sim- 
ple-minded darkies had probably ever heard was that of the banjo. 
They sat on the ground, eyes and mouth wide open, while old 
Moses held up his finger, as if to enforce silence. 

The bugler played until he was tired, when an unusually soft 
" Ah ! " came from the crowd ; the ladies on the porch clapi)ed 
their hands. 

*'Now, bucks," exclaimed Uncle Moses, "dat's wot I calls 
music ; better you all shut up shop and put yer ole banjos on de 
fire dar ; yer can't come nothin' like dat ober us. Yer mere infan's, 
I done tell yer." 

"Uncle Moses," said I, "don't discourage the boys. That 
bugle music is a signal for all the sailors to go to bed and get some 
rest, for they must work hard to-morrow. They want to hear you 
sing ' Mary Blane,' and after that you must all go home and keep 
quiet." 

*' Dat's de kine ob talk dey wants, Massa Capen," said old Moses. 
" Now, bucks, sit down and open yer music-boxes, an' grease de cog- 
wheels afore yer begin." 

A hundred voices, men and women, now joined in and sang the 
negro melody in glorious fashion. It was the music of nature 
given by these untaught negroes. " Mary Blane " rang in my ears 
long afterward, and I could not sleep for thinking of it. 

After the negroes had finished their song I said to Uncle 
Moses, " I have heard music in the best opera-houses in the world, 
but I never heard anything better than that." 

"Fo' de Lawd, you done spoil dem niggers, Massa Capen," said 
old Moses. "Dey was wain enuff befo,' an' now dey'll be greasin' 
each other's faces an' usin' 'em for lookin'-glasses to see how pretty 
dey is." 

"Moses," said I, "you seem to have great control over these 
people. Are you going to lead them out of captivity as your name- 
sake of the Bible led the Israelites out of bondage ? " 

"Well, Massa Capen," replied the old negro, "dese ere niggers 
is like de Israelites ob ole in many respecs. If dere is a chicken on 
a roost anywhere in de country dey will fine 'em out, an' dey is a 
stiff-neck people, dat goes wrong nine times to one time right. 
Dey is a great trouble to me, sar. Dey talks about fightin' for de 



90 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

IJDynm an' Massa Abe Linkum, an' dey knows as mucli 'bout fi'tin* 
as a mule knows about playin' de banjo. Dey is just fit to fight 
coons an' 'possums, but if dey was to meet a sojer wid a musket dar 
shirt-tails would shiver in de wind wid de speed dey'd make. Dey 
don't know what dey want, an', like de Israelites ob ole, dey is try in' 
all kind ob speriments. I wish you'd talk to 'em, Massa Capen, 
and splain to 'em what dey ought to do. You know, sar, what one 
ob de poeks say ; I hear ole massa often tellin' it : * Better bear wid 
a ole coat ef it is full ob holes dan go roun' in your shirt-sleebes in 
winter-time lookin' for a new one.' When you kin get a dish ob hog 
an' hominy fer dinner, better not leab it to look for somethin' bet- 
ter. Dat's wot I calls filosophy." 

"Uncle Moses," said I, "you are wise beyond your generation. 
But tell me something about your mistress." 

" Well, sar," said Uncle Moses, " she is a uncommon agi=eeable 
pusson, though sometimes a leetle aggravatin'. She likes to hab 
her own way, an' as I hab charge ob all dese bucks, I likes to hab 
mine ; so occasionally we has disputes." 

" Dispute with your mistress ! why, she has a right to her own 
way, and you should see that she has it," I said. 

"Sartin, sar, so I do ; but yesterday missus was real aggrayatin'. 
She say dar was a hole in de fence, an' I say dar was a hole in de 
fence, an' we 'sputed about it mor'n a hour." 

"Why, Uncle Moses," said I, "that was a silly thing to dispute 
about." 

" P'r'aps so, Massa Capen, but it ain't no more silly dan what 
you gemplems ob de Norf an' gemplems ob de Souf been a doin'. 
De Souf say dar was a hole in de fence, an' de Norf say dere was a 
hole in de fence, an' after 'sputin' about it a long time, now dey go 
to shootin' about it." 

"Uncle Moses," said I, "you don't understand it. We are dis- 
puting about the great principles of universal liberty." 

" Yes," said the philosopher, " I knows dat. I hear 'em talkin' 
a great deal about de niggers will have suffrins at de poles fo' long, 
but I seen enough nigger suffrins, an' don't want to see no more of 
'em." 

" "Why, Uncle Moses, you talk doubtfully, and I am really afraid 
you are not sound on the goose." 

" Yes, I know, Massa Capen, dey calls me doubtin' Moses, an' 
I hab my own 'pinions. If I had my way I'd be on de Canada side : 
de colored man is safe dar, an' no mistake. As to de equality ob de 



THE MISTRESS OF THE PLANTATION. 91 

races I liear 'em talk about, why, some ob our bucks run away an' 
'listed board a gun-boat, an' spected to be treated just like white 
men. Dey put dose bucks to shubbel coal an' workin' before a hot 
fire, an' didn't eben gib um good hog an' hominy." 

*' Oh," said I, " that's only a beginning. They'll do better by 
and by." 

"An' in de mean time," said Moses, "dey is to be purified wid 
fire an' water. Some ob dem fellers from Massa Linkum's gun- 
boats tells de bucks if dey sabe de Unyum dey'll come out some day 
in Congress. Yes, I knows, but dey'll be brushin' de white man's 
coats de same as dey been doin' all dere lives. "White man an' col- 
ored man two different tings ; one eat turkey an' de odder hog 
an' hominy all he bo'n days. Ole massa was de fust ob our family 
what went to de war, an' he fout de enemy to de las', but a rifle 
kill him." 

" A rifle. Uncle Moses ? " I inquired. 

"Yes, sah," said Moses, "a demijohn ob rifle w'isky what was 
made on dis place. Ole massa taught me a good deal ; he was a 
poeck, he was." 

We now walked toward the house. Uncle Moses stepped to the 
door and announced me. 

I heard a pleasant voice say, " Ask the gentleman in, Moses," 
and I entered. 

Before me was a stately lady of perhaps forty years of age, still 
handsome, with large black eyes and dark hair. 

I excused myself for intruding upon her so late in the evening, 
but explained that I could not call earlier on account of having so 
much to attend to on board the vessels. 

"You are excusable, sir," said Mrs. , "and I am glad you 

have come, that I might thank you for the precautions you have 
taken to prevent marauding. My servants have not been so orderly 
before for a long time. They are out coon-hunting sometimes un- 
til nearly daylight in the morning, and their cries keep the family 
awake half the night. They are not a bad set of people though, 
and, if they had a master, could be easily managed, but a woman, of 
course, can do little to control them. Moses is seventy years old, 
and is not of much use now in helping govern the negroes, and he 
is for ever disputing with me about trifles." 

At that moment a door opened, and a youth of about nineteen 
rushed into the room in a great state of excitement. 

"Mother!" he exclaimed, "I am too late; they have sur- 



92 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

rounded the house, and I can't get back. I shall be taken pris- 
oner. " 

Just then he caught sight of me, and stood at bay. He was a 
handsome fellow, with a strong likeness to his mother, and had on 
a gray suit, which was nearly concealed by a linen duster. 

" What do you want here, sir," said the youth, defiantly ; ''why 
intrude upon unprotected women ? " 

"They are certainly not unprotected," I said, ''with such a 
brave defender as you by their side. I simply called to pay my re- 
spects to the lady of the mansion, and to thank her for permission 
to land at her plantation." 

'* Which you took good care to do before asking permission," 
said the young man, with flashing eyes. 

" George ! George ! " exclaimed his mother, "this gentleman has 
done nothing that we can possibly find fault with, so be careful 
what you say. He may relieve you from your difficulty." 

The boy still stood defiant, like a stag at bay, his hands clenched 
and his eye glittering with anger. 

" Of course, dear mother," he said, " I don't intend to be dis- 
courteous to this officer, who, notwithstanding his bland manners, 
has surrounded the house and holds us all prisoners. If I had our 
battery here we'd clear the Yanks out in ten minutes." 

"0 George!" pleaded his mother, "you will ruin yourself 
and break my heart. Excuse me, sir, but he is my only son." 

" Who is perfectly safe with me, madam, for I assure you I have 
not the least idea of molesting him. " 

"Then let me pass through your lines," said the young man ; 
" prove your expressions true by your acts. I must go or be dis- 
honored." 

Just then a young girl entered the room. She looked like a 
panther about to spring. "They are not going to take George, 
mother ! What does this mean ? " she said, and her eyes flashed fire. 

There was no need to ask if these young people were brother and 
sister, their likeness to each other was so striking. I looked at 
them in admiration, and could not help wishing myself the young 
lady's brother, to call forth such affection from such a lovely speci- 
men of womanhood. 

"There is no occasion for alarm, young lady," I said. "I shall 
not trouble myself to capture unarmed persons, even although they 
may choose to wear a uniform which is not the most agreeable to 
Northern eyes." 



A YOUNG CONFEDERATE. 93 

*'It is the uniform of my country," said the young man, "and 
I am not ashamed of it. " 

"Then," I said, "if you wish to honor it — and belong, as pos- 
sibly you may, to * Whistler's Battery,' now some twenty miles 
above here — let me advise you never to sully your honor by firing 
at unarmed steamers ; war is a dreadful thing at best — make it as 
merciful as you can. For my part, I shall endeavor while this con- 
flict lasts not to molest persons who may be apparently following 
peaceful pursuits. Vindictive warfare can only result in embitter- 
ing people. If you know of any persons who are about to engage 
in hostilities against my command, say to them that when I leave 
this landing I shall tow the schooners in line ahead. The schoon- 
ers carry thirty-eight heavy guns, and the steamers that tow them 
forty-two. To attack them with field-pieces would be a piece of 
gasconade, for I could sweep a dozen batteries from off the earth, 
and our shells might set fire to distant houses whose inmates had 
no idea of injuring us. And now, sir, for your mother's and sister's 
sake you may take your horse and go." 

" Well, sir," said the youngster, "my hand will fire no shot at 
you or yours, and I will report what you have said." 

I raised the window and signaled to the patrol. "Let this gen- 
tleman pass with his horse. — Good-night, sir, and a pleasant jour- 
ney to you." 

The young man took leave of his mother and sister, bowed to 
me, and in a few minutes his horse's hoofs were heard as he galloped 
down the road. 

The mother thanked me for permitting her son to depart. 

"I could have done you a greater favor by sending him north 
as a prisoner," I replied ; "it might have saved his life ; he is too 
young for such adventures." 

I bade the ladies good-night, hoping I had at least planted one 
seed toward reconciliation. 

Next morning Moses and his "bucks" were at the levee to see 
us off. "Keep your bucks in order, Moses," I said. "I shall be 
back here soon, and, if I find they haven't behaved themselves, will 
set them to shoveling coal." 

"Ah, Massa Capen," said the philosopher, "I kin punish 'em 
worse dan dat. I stops dar bacon an' hominy an' terbacker. If 
dese niggers don't behave themselves, they shan't see de sight ob a 
chicken, an' if dere's anyt'ing a nigger do lub, it's de sight ob a 
chicken on de roost." 



91 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

*' And don't dispute with your mistress any more, Uncle Moses." 

*'Well, sar," he replied, "we done had a 'spute already dis 
mornin'. I said you was a Unyum ossifer, an' she say you was a 
Unyum ossifer, an' we 'spute about it ober a hour. God bless you, 
Massa Capeu, an' see dat dey don' gib us po' niggers any more suf- 
frins at de poles." 

We were not molested in our progress up the river, and in due 
time reached Vicksburg, where Farragut was awaiting us to com- 
mence operations against the forts. 

I will here mention that the young fellow to whom I have al- 
luded was killed at the battle of Mansfield, on Red River, when 
General Banks and myself went up that stream in the spring of 
1864. On a subsequent visit to the plantation I found the mother 
and sister plunged in grief. This was only one of many instances 
where young lives were thrown away in a hopeless cause. 

Uncle Moses had proved true to his trust, but all his young 
"bucks" had gone on the warpath, joining the army as teamsters or 
enlisting on board *' Mr. Linkum's gun-boats." 

" Massa Capen," said Moses,*' the Unyum Gub'ment done make 
all de black folks contraban' ; now, sar, what's dat ? " 

*' Why, Moses," said I, " that's putting a high tariff on you to 
protect you against foreign darkies. Contraband articles are those 
which are almost prohibited, and the Government claims the right 
to take you' into service as contraband of war, so that the enemy 
can not use you to work for them and against us." 

" Bress de Laud ! " exclaimed the old man, " niggers is some 
consequence. I hope to see de Norf yet afore I die. Ya ! ya ! ya ! 
I'll make all dem bucks 'dress me now as Mister Contraban' Moses. 
Good-by, Massa Capen ; I's mos' sorry de war so nigh ober, cos I's 
'fraid de niggers won't be no more consekence. Hope to see yer in 
Congeress some ob dese days, do' dis ole darkey may be brushin' 
close and shinin' Norfern an' Suffern gemplemen's boots." 



AFTER THE CAPTURE OF NEW ORLEANS. 95 



CHAPTEK IX. 

PLAIN'S FOR THE CAPTURE OF VICKSBURG — UNFORTUNATE DE- 
LAYS—THE MORTAR BOATS AT YICKSBURG — A SPY AND AN 
ATTEMPTED SURPRISE. 

At the time I made the proposition for the capture of New Or- 
leans, which also included the capture of Vicksburg, President Lin- 
coln left it to General McClellan and myself to arrange the plans. 
The general considered that ten thousand troops were sufficient to 
hold the city after the navy had captured it, and that an additional 
ten thousand could be landed at Vicksburg under the guns of the 
navy, and hold that place against any force the Confederates could 
bring against it. 

Had this plan been carried out, the result would have been the 
grandest achievement of the war, and we would have accomplished, 
with comparatively little loss of life, what eventually cost a great 
deal of bloodshed and a vast outlay of money. 

When New Orleans fell, the people all along the Mississippi were 
astounded, for such a contingency had never entered into their cal- 
culations. They considered the forts, Jackson and St. Philip, im- 
pregnable, and the rams and ironclads quite sufficient to destroy the 
entire Union navy. 

In consequence of this feeling of security the large towns above 
New Orleans were unfortified and Vicksburg had very few guns 
mounted. If, then, the victory at New Orleans had been followed 
up rapidly by ships and soldiers sent to Vicksburg, the latter place 
would have fallen easily into our possession. 

It is not my intention here to give a history of the war. I have 
written a full account of all the events that came under my cog- 
nizance during the conflict, which may or may not be published at 
some future time, but I can not help recalling President Lincoln's 
words as we were planning this expedition. 

**See," said Mr. Lincoln, pointing to the map, "what a lot of 
land these fellows hold, of which Vicksburg is the key. Here is 
Red River, which will supply the Confederates with cattle and corn 
to feed their armies. There are the Arkansas and White Rivers, 
which can supply cattle and hogs by the thousand. From Vicks- 
burg these supplies can be distributed by rail all over the Confed- 



96 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

eracy. Then there is that great depot of supplies on the Yazoo. 
Let us get Vicksburg and all that country is ours. The war can 
never be brought to a close until that key is in our pocket. I am 
acquainted with that region and know what I am talking about, 
and, yaluable as New Orleans will be to us, Vicksburg will be more 
60. We may take all the northern ports of the Confederacy, and 
they can still defy us from Vicksburg. It means hog and hominy 
without limit, fresh troops from all the States of the far South, and 
a cotton country where they can raise the staple without interfer- 
ence." 

Mr. Lincoln's capacious mind took in the whole subject, and he 
made it plain to the dullest comprehension. A military expert 
could not have more clearly defined the advantages of the proposed 
campaign. 

Mr. Lincoln was, in fact, the one who, after the thing had been 
proposed to him, was most active in urging it on. Everybody who 
knew anything about the strength of the forts was called in, includ- 
ing General Barnard. The President would come in while McClel- 
lan and myself were discussing the matter and have his say, and 
there was wisdom in all his suggestions. 

Carefully as the project of capturing Vicksburg was planned, it 
was not executed. Why, I do not know. I presume Farragut de- 
layed his advance from New Orleans until he could secure the neces- 
sary troops to hold Vicksburg. I urged pushing on to Vicksburg, 
instead of which I was pushed on to Ship Island, a delightful retreat 
where General Butler used to send rebellious women who hooted at 
the Union flag. 

It was at least a month after my arrival at Ship Island when I 
received a letter from General Butler, informing me that Farragut 
had gone to Vicksburg with his fleet and wanted the mortar flotilla 
there to bombard the forts. So it appears that in the short inter- 
val between our taking New Orleans and getting to Vicksburg the 
Confederates had erected heavy batteries at the latter point, sending 
all the way to Richmond and Norfolk for guns and munitions of 
war. 

I presume that when Farragut found he could not get the 
troops he required to hold Vicksburg, he sent a detachment of ves- 
sels up to demand its surrender. The officer in command opened 
negotiations with the Mayor, who was courtesy itself, while devis- 
ing ways and means by which to protract the conference. 

The officer sent to confer with him was no match for the Mayor 



THE DEFENSES OF VICKSBURG. 97 

in diplomacy, and, after a week's negotiation and exchange of cour- 
tesies, the latter gentleman informed the ofl&cer that if he wanted 
Vicksburg he must come and take it, and, as the Union flag was 
offensive to the citizens, he (the Mayor) must insist on its being 
withdrawn, otherwise it would be fired upon. 

While this "pow-wow" was going on, the whole power of the 
Confederacy was put in operation to save Vicksburg. Guns were 
brought from Jackson and masked batteries erected during the 
night, and the heaviest ordnance the Confederates had was hurried 
from Eichmond by rail. Not an hour was lost, and by the time 
the officer had returned to Farragut with the Mayor's defiant 
speech, Vicksburg was transformed into a small Gibraltar. 

President Lincoln must have been vexed when he found that he 
had lost the key to the situation, and that "the backbone of the re- 
bellion " would not be broken for some time. 

When Farragut heard how matters stood he started at once with 
his whole force to try and carry out the designs of the Government 
on Vicksburg, but he found a difficult task before him. The sum- 
mit of the heights at Vicksburg, two hundred and eighty feet 
above the river, had been strongly fortified with heavy rifled guns, 
which his old-fashioned smooth-bores could not reach, and should 
he attempt to pass the batteries or bombard them, the chances were 
his ships would be destroyed. He had no force to land and take the 
place, for the Confederate army at Vicksburg was estimated at ten 
thousand men, who had been hurried thither from every quarter 
where they could be spared. 

Every day the rebels would mount additional heavy guns on the 
heights, and they built a water-battery of twelve heavy guns about 
half a mile from the levee, called by our sailors ''The Twelve 
Apostles." The heaviest gun they called "St. Paul the great 
X-pounder," i. e., X-inch rifle. 

Farragut could not bombard the forts on the heights with his 
ships, nor could he land, and he was too humane to shell the city, 
so he sent all the way to Ship Island for the mortar flotilla. 

When the flotilla arrived it could reach the forts on the hill- 
tops and silence their fire, but the enemy's gunners would run to 
their bomb-proofs when they saw a shell coming, and, as soon as it 
burst, would fly to their guns again. This kind of warfare was 
kept up for several days, no one being hurt so far as I know on the 
Confederate side, but a great deal of ammunition was expended on 
both sides. The " key " that President Lincoln desired so much 
V 



98 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR, 

remained in the rebel pocket, and it cost millions of dollars and 
many lives to get it out. 

After a heavy day's liammering of the forts by the mortars, 
Farragut passed the batteries with his ships and carried out his 
orders to make a junction with Flag-Officer Davis above Vicksburg ; 
but, although he could pass and repass the batteries, he saw that it 
was useless to sacrifice tlie lives of his officers and men merely for 
sentiment's sake, so he notified the Navy Department that he could 
do no more. 

I found a great difference between bombarding a fort of ma- 
sonry and a chain of earthworks that could have defied ten times 
our force, and I soon made up my mind that the *'key" would not 
be forthcoming this time. 

The mortar vessels were anchored close to the levee, ten of them 
only twenty-two hundred yards from the enemy's works, but con- 
cealed behind a thick wood. The other eight vessels were on the 
opposite side of the river, twenty-seven hundred yards from the 
forts, and were fair targets for the enemy, yet none of their hulls 
were touched, though hundreds of shot and shell whistled over 
them. 

Finding that they could do the mortar vessels no harm, and 
that they were injuring their guns and wasting their ammunition, 
the enemy determined to try and capture the flotilla with a land 
force, but, as I had calculated on this, I was duly prepared for it. 

On the Vicksburg side of the river were ten mortar vessels tied 
to the bank, with a space of ten feet between them and the levee. 
Six steamers were anchored on the port quarter of the schooners, 
and two others were in line ahead, all with broadsides bearing on 
the thick wood which covered the flotilla. In the middle of this 
wood were almost impassable swamps, which formed a perfect pro- 
tection against an advance of troops from that direction. On the 
edge of the swamps pits had been dug five feet deep, and from 
these pits lines were extended to a bell mounted on shore, which 
was to be struck by men stationed in the pits once or twice, accord- 
ing to circumstances. 

I was one day on shore looking at the defenses against a land 
attack, when a negro emerged from the woods, saw me, and ap- 
peared to hesitate whether he should advance, but, while thus un- 
decided, two patrolmen slipped up behind him and marched him in. 

He was a sleek-looking darkey, clad in a good suit of clothes of 
a scholastic cut — an entirely different style of negro from old Uncle 



A SUSPICIOUS NEGRO PREACHER. 99 

Moses, the patriarcli of " 's Landing." In fact, this person's 

appearance was not prepossessing. 

When I asked him what he was doing, he answered, "I'm a 
contraban', sar, makin' my escape to the Ian' ob freedom. My 
name is Brutus Munroe. I'm a pastor, sar." 

" And, pray, to what denomination do you belong ? " I inquired. 

'^Sar," he replied, "I'm a anarkist an' orthodox up to de hub." 

" An anarkist ? And, pray, what is that ? " said I. 

"Well, sar," said the preacher, "I believes all about de ark an' 
de animiles wot went in, an' I preaches dat doctrine to my people. 
I preaches de millanium to my people, sar, an' tells dem de time 
am comin' when de lion an' de lam' will lie down togedder." 

"I suppose, Mr. Munroe," said I, "that when that happy day 
arrives the lion will lie down with the lamb inside of him." 

"Mebbe so, sar," answered the sleek preacher ; "an' if de lam' 
fines a comfortable bed dar I don' see why he should objec'. We is 
all ob us lam's or lions ; human natur* is eberywhar de same, an' 
de big critters eats up de little ones." 

"Well, now, tell me," said I to the preacher, "how many 
troops have the Confederates in Vicksburg." 

"'Bout a hunder tousand, sar," he answered, promptly. 

" And how many guns mounted ?" 

"'Bout a hunder fifty, sar, an' trains comin' in wid 'em all de 
time." 

" Then there is no chance for us to take the place, is there ?" 
said I. 

" Oh, no, sar ! " exclaimed the preacher ; " a milyon men couldn't 
took it, it's so strong, sar." 

I saw that I had got hold of a first-class romancer, and that it 
wouldn't do to depend on Brutus's statements. 

" Well," said I, "you say you are a Union man ?" 

" Yes, sar, I prays fo' de President an' all oders in autority ebery 
Sunday befo' my people." 

" But which President do you pray for ?" 

"I prays for 'em bof, sar — Massa Linkum an' Massa Davis — for 
dey bof stans in need ob prayer." 

"But, Brutus," said I, "what side are you on ?" 

"Well, sar," he answered, "I am just now on de Lawd's side ; 
but, Massa Captin, I see you done makin' prep'rations to go 'way. 
You ain't out ob powder, is you ? " 

"No, Brutus," said I, " we are going to stay here till the mel- 



100 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

lenium and blow all these hills down. We won't leave a mouse in 
Vicksburg." 

"Den dat's wy you is trowin' up dem intrenchmen's. You is 
guardin' 'gainst precautions." 

All the time Mr. Munroe was talking his eyes were wandering 
in every direction. At length I said to him, " How do you like 
the looks of things ? Do you think you can remember it all ? " 

The preacher started ; doubtless he would have turned pale if 
he had not been so very black. 

" Ise got a werry bad mem'ry, sar. I see you is busy, an' I 
mought as well be goin'," and he started ofP. 

" Stop ! " said I ; " you must stay and dine with me." 

" No, tank you, sar," said Brutus. " I mus' go to Warrenton, 
whar I hole a convention wid a pastor of an odder diocese. I'll 
call anodder time, an'll see you offen if you stops here till de mil- 
lanium." 

I beckoned the two patrolmen who had brought Mr. Brutus to 
the levee. They immediately took charge of that worthy and jsre- 
pared to march him away. 

"In God's name, sar," exclaimed Brutus, who trembled like a 
leaf, " wha' yer gwine ter do ter me ? " 

" Nothing except shoot you as a spy, Mr. Brutus." 

I directed that the preacher should be carefully searched and 
then confined on the berth-deck of one of the schooners, with a 
sentry over him. I was satisfied that the negro was a spy, since 
the Confederate lines were drawn so close that no contraband could 
pass them without their connivance. It was not often that the 
colored men acted as spies, but this was evidently an instance of it. 

One of the ofiicers devised a scheme to draw the rascal out. He 
selected the most intelligent negro from among our "contrabands," 
and, after instructing him in the part he was to play, had him con- 
veyed on board the schooner where Brutus was, and tumbled down 
by his side. 

The new-comer began to weep and throw himself about, as if 
in great agony of mind, until the preacher sternly remarked to 
him, " Don't yer make fool ob youse'f ! Whar is yer from, any- 
how?" 

" Jist fo' mile below- Warrenton, sah," said the pretended pris- 
oner. *' Wy, I'm one ob yer flock ; I hears yer preach offen." 

"Dat's nat'ral," said the preacher. "De big magnet draw all 
de little bits ob iron to it." 



AN ATTACK. 101 

"But, mister, dey done gwine ter shoot me to-morrow, an' den 
wot good'll de magnet do me ? " 

*' Hush ! " said Brutus ; " shut yer mud-hole, an' don't boo-hoo 
so." And he whispered to his companion, "Ef dey don't shoot us 
bef o' f o' 'clock dis arternoon, dey'll nebber hab anodder chance ! " 

*' Wot yer mean ?" said the other, drying his eyes ; but Brutus 
sat silent, not deigning to be more explicit. 

At length the colored detective was taken violently ill, and, 
npon being carried on deck, related all that had passed between 
him and the preacher. It was not much, but I gathered that we 
were to be attacked about four o'clock, which was about the 
time we ceased firing the mortars each day, to let the men go to 
supper. 

Preparations were made to receive any number that might assail 
us, for, in spite of Brutus, I knew there could not be more than 
fifteen thousand Confederates in and around Vicksburg. 

By two o'clock all was ready ; one watch at the guns, the other 
ready to join in, every man with a musket at hand, and the mor- 
tars loaded with but half a pound of powder, so as to land the 
shells just inside the woods. Then we waited. 

About three o'clock there was a tap on the bell, then another, 
showing that the enemy was advancing through the woods, and in 
a few moments about twenty men rushed from their cover toward 
the bank, and were received by a volley of musketry. 

Four of the enemy, including their leader, a sergeant, fell, and 
the rest took to their heels when they found we were ready for 
them. 

At the same moment our steamers opened fire on the Woods 
with shell and shrapnel, and kept it up for twenty minutes with 
twenty-four large broadside guns, which mowed down the trees as 
the reaper mows down grain ! 

All we saw of the enemy was the four men who were killed, and 
about a dozen others who retreated. I could only conjecture what 
force of the enemy was approaching under cover of the woods ; but 
the precautions taken had evidently prevented the loss of some of 
our men, although no serious disaster was likely to befall us. 

As soon as possible I sent a reconnoitring party into the woods, 
and found the two men stationed in the pits. Both were safe in 
their holes ; our shells had exploded well away from them, and 
they had been in no danger. But beyond them it looked as if a 
select assortment of thunderbolts had swept over the landscape. 



102 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

Great trees were shattered ; the ground was furrowed in every 
direction, and covered with splinters of all shapes and sizes. 

There was no enemy in sight, but every evidence that one had 
been there in the castaway knajDsacks, caps, shoes, and muskets ; 
and in the swamp was found a pair of officer's long boots, with the 
toes pointing toward Vicksburg. I don't blame the officer for 
abandoning his boots, for, under the circumstances, there was no 
other course to pursue. 

The two men in the pits reported that some twenty men came 
in around the swamp to the left, and headed for the mortar 
schooners. They were followed by a column of soldiers, the end of 
which they did not see. At about the same time another column 
came around the other side of the swamp, and when within two 
hundred yards of the edge of the woods the firing commenced with 
musketry, and then the shells came crashing through the forest. 

There was a sudden halt, and then a rapid retreat across the 
swamp, many of the soldiers up to their middle in the mud and 
water. 

When I looked at the place I wondered how any man in his 
senses could get up such an expedition. No army could have stood 
ten minutes before the fire we opened on these evidently raw re- 
cruits, and no doubt their experience on this occasion increased 
their respect for "Lincoln's gun-boats." 

The Confederates troubled us no more, and I had no idea of 
wasting shells on those solid hill-sides ; it was different from batter- 
ing a fort and shattering casemates of masonry. 

From the time I arrived before Vicksburg I liad wondered what 
had become of the ubiquitous iron-clad ram which always made its 
appearance from some unexpected quarter at some unexpected 
time. 

After I left Vicksburg the ram did come out of the Yazoo Eiver, 
at the time when Flag-Officer Davis had joined Farragut with his 
squadron from the upper Mississippi. 

The ram had been generally considered a myth, for how was it 
possible for the Confederates to build such a vessel in so short a 
time on these inland waters ? 

However, down she came one fine morning, and passed un- 
scathed through the whole line of our vessels, dealing death and 
destruction as she passed. The ships poured broadsides of solid 
shot into her, but they rolled from her sides like water from a 
duck's back. That time the Confederates had the laugh on us. 



PASTOR BRUTUS MUNROE. 103 

and, when I heard of the adventure, I thought of Mr. Brutus 
Munroe's sage remark about ''guardin' agin all precautions." 

Previous to this episode of the ram I was ordered by the Navy 
Department to proceed north with ten of the mortar vessels to bom- 
bard Fort Darling, on the James Eiver, and, much to my regret, I 
was compelled to leave my comrades before Vicksburg, which place 
I was sure would never be taken by the means that were then being 
used. 

Farragut did all that was possible under the circumstances, and 
did not leave until he had demonstrated the impossibility of reduc- 
ing the place without the aid of a large army. 

Before I left Vicksburg I sought a final interview with Pastor 
Brutus Munroe, of the Anarkist Church. 

A week's close confinement had told on Mr. Munroe, and he did 
not look so sleek by a good deal. 

" Well, sir," said I, '' what have you to say for yourself ? Don't 
you think you deserve hanging as the biggest rascal in the coun- 
try?" 

"Well, sar," said Brutus, "'a soff answer turneff 'way raff.' 
De Lawd temper de water to de scalded hog. 'Pearances is agin 
me, sar, but I is innocent, 'deed I is." 

" What do you say, then," I inquired, " about going north in 
this vessel and serving under the Union flag ? " 

Brutus scratched his head. "But who's gwine to took care ob 
my flock wen dar pastor done gone to de Norf ? Dey'll all go 
straight to de debbel, sar ; dey f orgits in a week all dat I'm a month 
a teachin' 'em." 

"Well, then, Brutus," said I, "go and sin no more, and try 
and keep your neck out of the halter," So I dismissed the preacher, 
who disappeared in the direction of Warrenton, and I never saw 
him again. 

After the fall of Vicksburg, Colonel Higgins, who had been the 
commandant of Fort Jackson, again fell into our hands. He gave 
me an account of the unfortunate expedition against the mortar 
vessels. The Confederates supposed that Brutus had betrayed 
them, and if he had returned to Vicksburg he would most likely 
have been shot. Receiving, no doubt, some intimation of what was 
in store for him, the worthy preacher disappeared to parts unknown. 



104 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 



CHAPTER X. 

PASSAGE OF THE MOETAR FLEET DOWN" THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER — 
A REVIEW AT NATCHEZ — A ROSE IN THE DESERT — HONORS TO 
FARRAGUT AFTER HIS DEATH. 

My return down the Mississippi with the ten mortar schooners 
in tow was monotonous, although we were occasionally enlivened on 
passing a town by seeing people flocking to the river-bank to look 
at us. 

When we passed up everything was in mourning ; very few peo- 
ple showed themselves, except negroes ; it was as if the white popu- 
lation had run away and hidden themselves. They had been taught 
that we were a set of buccaneers who were liable to commit any 
atrocities, and that a policy of non-intercourse with us was most 
advisable. When the people, however, saw so many war vessels 
pass up the river without doing any injury to private property or 
to unarmed citizens, they began to think we had been libeled, and 
even to suspect we were more to be trusted than those who were 
marking all the products of their industry ''C. S. A.," and paying 
for the same in worthless Confederate currency. 

There were some persons, no doubt, who saw plainly enough 
that the United States Government would never again allow the 
control of the Mississippi Eiver to slip out of their hands, since it 
was so comparatively easy to hold it, with the numerous gun-boats 
at their disposal, in spite of rebel rams and other appliances of the 
enemy. 

One after another the people saw the heavy works deemed im- 
pregnable by the Ceufederates fall into our hands, there to remain 
until the authority of the Government should be firmly established 
throughout the land. After the capture of New Orleans it was ap- 
parent that the power of the South was broken, and the people along 
the river were soon of the same opinion. 

Vicksburg alone blocked the way, but our army and navy were 
gradually encircling it in their coils, and its capture was only a mat- 
ter of time. 

When we passed Natchez, on our way up the river, every one 
had retired to their houses, not a straggler was in sight, and, not 
knowing exactly what kind of a reception we would encounter, we 
stood to our guns. 



PEOPLE OF NATCHEZ NOT UNFRIENDLY. 105 

Coming down, we gave ourselves no concern about hostile acta 
from the towns below Vicksburg, knowing the people were too wise 
to interfere with us. 

As we approached Natchez I had the officers dress in uniform 
and the crews in white, while the mast-heads were decorated with 
our best flags. Our decks were polished as white as possible, and 
everything about the vessels bore that appearance of order and neat- 
ness which characterizes well-disciplined vessels of war. 

As we rounded the point and came in sight of Natchez, the 
hills were covered with men, women, and children, apparently 
dressed in their best clothes. The white dresses and gay parasols 
of the ladies against the green background made a charming pic- 
ture. It looked as if all Natchez had assembled to welcome victors 
from a battle-field. 

As we passed close in to the shore many spy-glasses were leveled 
on us, and we were so near that we could even see the expression 
on people's faces. It was rather of surprise than hostility as they 
scanned the forms of more than a hundred well-dressed officers, 
who would have given a month's pay to have had a chance to dance 
the lancers with these pretty rebels. 

From appearances, we judged that, should we land, we would 
receive a friendly welcome, although, perhaps, they were all in such 
good humor because of a telegram just received from Vicksburg 
announcing the fact that many of the mortar vessels had been de- 
stroyed and the rest had sought safety in flight. 

This precious piece of news we heard from an ''intelligent con- 
traband," who boarded us in a canoe soon after we passed Natchez, 
and he informed us that the people had assembled to witness our 
discomfiture. 

If, however, they expected to see shot-riddled hulls, they were 
disappointed, for not a scratch was visible ; and the jolly sailors, 
standing in picturesque groups, gave the lie to the bombastic dis- 
patch sent from Vicksburg. 

At the same time, as we had learned by experience not to put 
implicit faith in the statements of the negroes, we thought it likely 
that this one had exaggerated the matter. 

Whatever the people of Natchez may have heard, their bearing 
toward us was not unfriendly. Curiosity seemed their leading mo- 
tive, and it was justified by the procession of well-armed vessels 
passing their town. 

One lively gentleman, who rode down to the bank on horseback, 



106 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

appeared to be an oracle, as lie was surrounded by a crowd of per- 
sons to whom he seemed to be answering questions. He examined 
us critically through a large lorgnette, perhaps in search of the 
mythical shot-holes. 

We passed and made no sign, gliding quietly along with the 
current like specter yessels, leaving the great crowd behind us and 
approaching the lower part of the city, when I saw standing in the 
doorway of an arbor covered with clematis a young girl of about 
fourteen, dressed in white, with a chip hat, holding in one hand a 
white handkerchief and in the other a blue parasol. 

We were so close to her that I could note the expression of her 
countenance without the aid of a glass as she vigorously waved her 
handkerchief, while I waved mine in return. 

Then she opened her parasol and displayed a small Union 
flag, which she kissed and pressed to her heart ; and so she stood 
until we passed, concealed from the crowd above by the small 
arbor. 

Many in our flotilla noticed the act and removed their caps ; 
then the flag disappeared within the folds of the parasol, and 
the maiden stood looking after us until we were out of sight, as if 
loath to lose sight of the stars and stripes. 

Whether or not she suffered for her temerity we never knew, but 
let us hope her noble act was only seen by those for whom it was 
intended. 

I shall never forget that little maiden, and, should she chance to 
read these pages, she will know that her courage was appreciated. 

THE ROSE m THE DESERT. 

Farewell, little maid, may the rose and the vine 

Thy beautiful arbor forever entwine, 

Thy heroic act has made it divine; 

Thou'rt a rose in the desert, where the flowers' perfume 

Don't often linger, and where flowers don't bloom. 

Yet one dewdrop may reach the heart of a rose 

"Which, refreshing its life, in the desert it grows. 

'Twas the flash of a dream, a vision of light, 

A sweet emblem of faith, when you burst on my sight. 

Like the maid of the mist, in the soft vapor spray 

Your young face with its halo soon melted away. 

But that form in its glory will ever remain 

Impressed on my soul though we ne'er meet again. 



IMPORTANCE OF THE CAPTURE OF NEW ORLEANS. 107 

There's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip, 
But whenever the rich flowing beaker I sip 
I'U drink a good health in a bumper of wine 
"Wherever I am, and that toast shall be thine. 

As we passed on down the Mississippi all seemed peaceful and 
quiet, and whatever may have been the heart-burnings and hostility 
to the Union, they were not exhibited. 

They assumed a virtue if they had it not. Steamers were ply- 
ing on the river bearing the Union flag, and the same flag floated 
over the barracks at Baton Rouge, where troops were stationed to 
preserve order in that neighborhood. It may not have been alto- 
gether agreeable to the residents, but it was beneficial to the com- 
munity at large. 

As we slipped past New Orleans I noticed that the shipping had 
greatly increased since I had last seen the place. Many Union and 
foreign flags were flying from the mast-heads, and the levee had 
quite a lively appearance. 

General Butler was still in the ascendant, putting on all the 
style of a viceroy and slowly bringing order out of chaos. 

There were many complaints against his administration, but it 
must be said that as long as people conformed to the regulations he 
established they got along well enough. 

People in a conquered city can not dictate terms to the con- 
querors, and municipal laws must give way to military regula- 
tions. 

From New Orleans to the mouth of the Mississippi Union 
authority prevailed, and one would hardly have supposed that a 
different state of affairs had so lately existed. This condition was 
assured for the future, for no power in the Southern Confederacy 
could change it. 

All this was the result of the navy's work in beating down the 
defenses of New Orleans. The people of the United States have 
never realized the importance of the capture of New Orleans — the 
most brilliant affair of the war. That the entire plan of the cam- 
paign was not carried out does not detract from the gallantry and 
importance of this achievement. 

Had a British naval officer performed such a service as Farragut 
for his country, he would have received the highest honors and the 
most splendid pecuniary rewards. But only when the war was 
over was Farragut given the rank of admiral with a salary quite 
inadequate to maintain his position, and seven thousand dollars less 



108 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

than the pay of the corresponding rank in the army, or only about 
equal to the emoluments of a major-general. 

When Farragut died the Government indeed paid his memory 
the highest honors that it could, and Congress, with what seemed 
to them unbounded liberality, bestowed upon his widow an annual 
pension of two thousand dollars — about one fifteenth of one per 
cent interest on what Farragut's captures added to the Naval Pen- 
sion Fund. 

These things show plainly enough that those who employed 
Admiral Farragut and appropriated a great deal of credit for what 
he accomplished were remiss in not making greater efforts to see 
him amply rewarded. 

Honors are very grateful things, but they become onerous unless 
accompanied with the means of maintaining properly the position 
of the recipient, and thus enabhng him to keep the wolf from the 
door. 



CHAPTER XI. 

GETTING TO SEA IIS" THE STEAMER HAERIET LANE — PASSING 
COCKPIT POINT BATTERIES — A SOUTHERN-BORN OFFICER LOY- 
AL TO THE STARS AND STRIPES — HIS DEATH AT GALVESTON. 

As this is not a continuous narrative, I can not well maintain 
strict order in my reminiscences. I jot down the recollections as 
they come up in my memory. 

At the time the mortar flotilla was fitted out I had no vessel 
assigned for myself among all the curious craft the Navy Depart- 
ment was buying up. It was natural to suppose that, with twenty- 
eight vessels under my command, I should need a place where I 
could perform the duties of commanding officer of the flotilla, and 
I was told that the " double-ender " Octorora was intended for 
me, although she had only recently been launched, and was not 
near ready for service. 

In the mean while I was informed that I could go out in the 
Harriet Lane with Lieutenant-Commanding Wainwright, and in 
due course of time the Octorora would reach me. 

The Harriet Lane was a very small steamer, built for a revenue- 



ON BOARD THE HARRIET LANE. 109 

cutter, and was caught up by the Navy Department and turned 
into a vessel of war — a system, I suppose, we shall adhere to in 
case of a difficulty with a European power : fall back on the 
revenue marine. Coast Survey, and Fish Commission for vessels, and 
have a navy register filled with a formidable array of names apper- 
taining to a lot of ''rattletraps." 

The cabin of the Harriet Lane was very small, and there was 
one little state-room which the captain naturally wanted for him- 
self. It never struck him to offer it to me, although I was his 
commanding officer ; but if he had, I certainly should have de- 
clined it. 

In those days I was a hardy fellow, despising luxury — always 
traveled with as little luggage as possible, and could sleep any- 
where. No doubt the department took into account my pecu- 
liarities, and said, " He doesn't mind ; he's tough ; send him in 
anything." 

I went down to the "Washington navy-yard with my orders, 
'' Proceed without delay to Key West in the Harriet Lane, and take 
command of the mortar flotilla," etc. 

Lieutenant Wainwright received me at the gangway with a smil- 
ing face, and my trunk was passed on board. Although Wain- 
wright knew that he was to have a passenger, he seemed surprised 
at the trunk. He perhaps thought a little hand-bag would be all 
I should require, and he looked doubtfully at the impedimenta 
and said, 

" I don't see how we shall be able to stow that trunk in the 
cabin, but I must contrive some way," 

*' Put it in the maintop," I said, "and get under way at once." 

Wainwright looked surprised. " I am not ready for sea, sir, 
yet ; the coal is not all on board." 

''As to that," I replied, "I never saw a naval vessel that was 
ready for sea ; nevertheless, we will get under way, and procure coal 
in Norfolk or Port Eoyal." 

"But I haven't laid in the cabin-stores." 

"All right," I said ; " the ship-stores are good enough for me." 

" Two of the officers and the cabin steward are aTV^'ay." 

" We'll leave them then," I said. 

"But," said Wainwright, "our chronometer has not come on 
board." 

" Of course," I said, "chronometers are always slow. We will 
go without one, trusting to the three fs — lead, log, and lookout." 



110 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

Wainwright was in despair, and no doubt thought the navy was 
going to the d — 1 sure enough ; but he gave the order to the first 
lieutenant to liglit the fires. 

"The fires are ah-eady lighted, sir," said the young officer. 
Lieutenant Lee, *'and steam will be up in twenty minutes." 

I took to the young man at once, for I liked his promj)t way 
of doing duty. 

Next morning, by daylight, we arrived at Cockpit Point, and 
found there five small steamers called " vessels of war ! " each 
mounting several rifle-guns, and forming part of a river flotilla of 
some fourteen vessels under Lieutenant Wyman. It had formerly 
been under the command of Commander James H. Ward, who 
never permitted a rebel battery to be erected on the Potomac. 

But now the rebels had blocked our game, and we were in- 
formed that we must wait eight days so as to have a dark night for 
passing what was supposed to be a powerful battery at Cockpit 
Point. 

Just then a thick snow-storm came on, and you could hardly 
see a ship's length. 

"We will pass the batteries now," I said ; "this is better than 
a dark night. You can follow us, Captain " (to the officer in com- 
mand), "and enfilade the rebel batteries in case they open on us." 

It was about 7 a.m. when we got abreast of Cockpit Point, the 
snow-storm held up, and everything became clear as noonday. 

I stood on the wheel-house with Captain Wainwright and the 
first lieutenant. A puff of smoke came from the bushes on shore. 

" Why, they have dared to fire on the flag I " exclaimed the 
first lieutenant, excitedly. He was a full-blooded Southerner, born 
in the very heart of Secessia. 

Just then a large rifle-shell struck the rim of our port wheel, 
cutting it in two, and the fragments of the wheel were knocking 
the wheel-house to pieces. 

"That was a slap in the face," said the youngster ; "can't we 
return the fire, sir ? " 

"No, my young friend," I replied; "never fire at a battery 
when you are running it, and throw away your shot. You will 
have firing enough before the war is over." 

Presently a shell passed through the smoke-stack and exploded 
just beyond. 

" They have hit us again ! " exclaimed the young officer. " The 
dastardly villains, to fire on the flag ! " 



STANDING BY THE COUNTRY'S FLAG. HI 

Three shells followed in quick succession, cutting away an iron 
stack-stay, chipping off a piece of the rail, and knocking a ham- 
mock out. 

" There, Mr. Lee," I said, " they will trouble us no more, as we 
have passed their line of fire. It would have been useless to fire at 
scattered guns in bushes and behind sand-hills, not knowing their 
distance. From what I can learn of Cockpit Battery, out of the 
many vessels that have run past its fire it has never yet succeeded 
in sinking one of them." 

"Excuse me, sir, for my warmth," said the young oflicer. "I 
am a Southern man, and my family have disowned me because I 
would not join what they call the Confederate cause. My father 
says if he should ever meet me in battle he would shoot me like a 
dog. How can I help hating a cause that has taken all the love of 
my family from me ? " 

"Yet you don't regret your action in sticking to jonv flag?" 
I inquired. 

"No, indeed," he answered; "I would die before I would de- 
sert it, and do not desire the love of my family if I can only possess 
it by turning traitor to my country." 

"I admire your sentiments," sir ; "don't let them depart from 
you." 

Four miles below the Cockpit Battery we stopped to mend our 
wheel as best we could. 

I took a great deal of notice of the youngster on our way to Key 
West, being much attracted by his patriotic sentiments and manly 
bearing. I knew many Southern officers who had not the moral 
courage to stand by their flag, and from this young man's story I 
could see how much he had to contend with in the step he had 
taken. 

He had never before seen a shot fired in anger, and could not 
restrain his indignation at the idea of Southern men so soon for- 
swearing allegiance to the flag under which they were born, and even 
firing upon it when passing along the public highway for vessels. 

"I can understand," said he, "bowmen in an excited condi- 
tion can be urged on to violence by demagogues, but I can not 
understand how men in cold blood can fire at a vessel belonging to 
the navy that has conferred so much honor on the North and on 
the South. I think that the river flotilla could have enfiladed 
Cockpit Point while we were passing, and it might have diverted 
the enemy's aim and saved our wheel." 



112 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

"Yes," I said, "people can do anything when they want to, 
hut perhaps they did not want to. It doesn't make a great deal of 
difference anyhow, and it is best not to make that battery of too 
much importance." 

We spent three days in Hampton Eoads repairing damages, and 
sailed thence for Key West. 

The young officer served with me all the time I commanded the 
mortar flotilla, and his friends may well be proud of him for his 
chivalric courage and loyalty to his flag. 

When taking leave of the officers of the flotilla at the mouth of 
the Mississippi, I bade good-by to young Lee, who was still first 
lieutenant of the Harriet Lane. 

"I shall never see you again," he said, "for I feel that I have 
but a short time to stay here. I am not sorry, for it is dreadful to 
live with the hatred of those whom you love and who once loved 
you. I hope to die in defense of the flag, and I want my friends 
to know that I did my duty faithfully to my country. In case of 
my death, sir, will you see this done for me ? " 

I promised that I would do what he wished, but told him it was 
foolish to indulge in such morbid feelings ; that when the war was 
over his family would welcome him home again and would be proud 
of his record. 

"No, no, sir," he replied, "you don't know my people. I do 
not wish to live to hear my parents curse me for doing what they 
taught me from childhood : ' Be true to the Government and the 
flag.'" 

I never saw him again, for he was killed soon after on the deck 
of the Harriet Lane at Galveston, defending the flag to the last. 

Galveston had been captured, and Flag-Officer Farragut sent a 
small detachment of vessels, among them the Harriet Lane, there 
to hold the place, under Commander Eenshaw. 

The harbor of Galveston is a peculiar one, with several channels 
leading to it from the bar, and a number of large mud-flats where 
the water is very shallow. 

The vessels under Eenshaw lay in the various channels out of 
supporting distance of each other, and the Confederate general, 
Magruder, determined on a bold attempt for their capture. 

He fitted out three or four river-steamers packed with cotton- 
bales and filled with riflemen. The Harriet Lane lay nearest the 
town, and the sudden attack found her not properly prepared for 
resistance. One of the rebel steamers jammed under her guards 



HAVOC OF REVOLUTIONS. 113 

and could not get away, nor could those on board the Harriet Lane 
bring a gun to bear on the enemy. 

In ten minutes the numerous marksmen on board the Confeder- 
ate steamer cleared the decks of the Harriet Lane ; every officer and 
man on deck was shot down — it was a slaughter-house affair. Cap- 
tain Wainwright was killed at the first Yolley, and directly after- 
ward young Lee was mortally wounded. 

There being nothing left to oppose them, the Confederates 
rushed on board and took possession of the steamer. They were 
led by a stalwart officer with a drawn sword. 

Lieutenant Lee was lying on deck apparently dead, his head 
supported by the cabin steward. The Confederate officer demanded 
of the steward, " Who is that officer ?" 

" This is Mr. Lee, our first lieutenant," replied the steward, 
"and I think he is dead." 

The Confederate leader staggered back. *' God in heaven ! " he 
exclaimed, "poor boy ! is there no hope at all ?" Then he cried 
in agony, " Speak to me ! Say that you forgive us ! " 

The young man opened his eyes at the sound of his uncle's 
voice. 

*'I have nothing to forgive," he said, "but you saw that I did 
my duty to the last and died fighting for my country. Tell them 
all at home I ever loved them." And he expired, 

I received the account of this heart-rending scene from the 
steward of the Harriet Lane, in whose arms the young officer died. 
His last request to the steward was, that he would tell me how he 
had died at his post in defense of the flag. The steward related 
the events of the massacre with such emotion that I could hardly 
refrain from tears, although not given to the melting mood. 

Lieutenant Lee was buried among his people in his Southern 
home ; his shadow was no longer cast between them and the sun, 
and it is to be hoped that the rancor which once dwelt in their 
hearts was buried in the grave they made him under the moss- 
covered oaks of his birthplace. 

This sad occurrence was only one of many similar scenes which 
occurred during the civil war ; but it was one in which I was im- 
mediately interested, and, although I have missed many a brave 
young fellow from my side, yet I think oftener of that young 
officer, with his lofty aspirations and high sense of duty, shot 
down like a dog by his own people without a chance to defend 
himself. 

8 



114 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

When I recall those days I can not help thinking that his 
Satanic majesty must have got loose upon earth to set men at work 
to destroy each other. 

I will merely add to this a statement which shows the changes 
made by war and time on the lives of men. They may escape the 
bullet and the steel, but the excitement of such a revolution as 
that through which our country passed leaves an indelible mark. 
Of the commanding naval officers in the mortar flotilla who stood 
by me all through the expedition — Guest, Woodworth, Harrel, 
Wainwright, Breese, Watson Smith, and Renshaw — all are dead, 
though then in the vigor of manhood. All were gallant men, and 
deserving of the highest honors. 

Baldwin alone lived to reach the top of the ladder, and now 
represents his country honorably in command of the Mediterranean 
squadron. 

All the first lieutenants of the different steamers are dead or 
have left the service. 

It seems but yesterday that I saw all these officers, full of life 
and manly aspirations, devoting their lives to their country which 
has forgotten them. 



CHAPTER XII. 

A VISIT TO THE NAVY DEPARTMENT — NEWPORT CLUB — BETS ON 
FAVORITE GENERALS — A SNOB — ACCUSED OF TALKING TREASON 
— ORDERED TO WASHINGTON — THREATENED TO RESIGN — OR- 
DERED TO COMMAND THE MISSISSIPPI SQUADRON — A GREAT 
GENERAL — MORAL. 

When I arrived in Washington after the termination of my 
New Orleans expedition I called upon the Secretary of the Navy, 
who received me with that placidity for which he was remarkable. 

Mr. Welles was never enthusiastic about anything, and never 
cast down, whatever misfortunes might happen. 

When he was informed that the Merrimac had sunk the Con- 
gress and the Cumberland, he simply said, " Let Mr. Fox know it." 
If Mr. Welles did not welcome an officer warmly, it was because it 
was not his nature to do so ; he always received one courteously. 

'^ Good-morning ! " said the secretary, as I entered the room ; 



SCENE AT A NEWPORT, R. I., CLUB. 115 

" I sent for you to come north and bombard Fort Darling, on the 
James River ; can you do it ? " 

"Yes, sir," I rephed, '' I can put fifty tons of shells on top of 
it ; but what good will that do if there are no soldiers to hold it 
when we drive the enemy out ? As soon as we are done bombard- 
ing, the enemy will go back and make the place stronger by piling 
up our broken shells." 

" Well, as there are no troops available, we must give up the 
idea," said Mr. Welles. " Tell Mr. Faxon to have a two weeks' 
leave of absence made out for you, so that you can see your family. 
Good-morning." 

So I departed for Newport, R. I., where I put myself under the 
care of a physician, having brought with me a case of ''breakbone 
fever " as a souvenir of the Mississippi. 

One evening I was at the Newport Club, where were assembled 
some thirty or forty persons, many of them vociferating loudly, so 
that I feared from their excitement it would soon be necessary to 
call in the services of the police. 

An old habitue sat on the sofa, looking at the game of billiards I 
was playing. " Pray, Mr. Pell," I said, " what is all the excite- 
ment about ? " 

*' Why," he answered, *'this is our usual evening's entertain- 
ment. It is a meeting of the copperheads and radical republicans ; 
they have just come in from dinner parties and want to see how 
much money they can bet without any one taking them up. Each 
is now bragging of his own general, and seems determined to bet 
him into the Presidency." 

At that instant a voice cried out, "I'll bet five hundred dollars 
General will be the next President ! " 

" Done," said another ; " I take it up and go five hundred bet- 
ter," whereupon there was much shouting and some profanity, with 
indications of a general row. 

I could not help laughing at this absurd spectacle. "What 
fools these mortals be," I said to my companion. 

"Do you know anything of the generals they are quarreling 
about ? " inquired Mr. Pell. 

"Yes," I replied, "I know some of them." 

By this time the crowd of clubmen had become so uproarious 
that Mr. Pell thought it time to make a diversion, and, going 
among the disputants, said : 

"Pooh! pooh! don't quarrel about people you don't know. 



116 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

Here is Captain Porter, who knows these generals, and can tell you 
all about them." 

The crowd surged toward me, and one little fellow, with more 
money than brains, and whose principal recommendation was a fine 
set of teeth, blurted out, frantically, " Captain Porter, I bet Gener- 
al is the greatest general the world ever saw, and will be our 

next President. Do you say, sir, that he is not the greatest gen- 
eral that ever lived ? " 

" Certainly," I replied ; " I consider him no greater than Caesar, 
Hannibal, Marlborough, Napoleon, not to mention others who have 
accomplished a great deal in the military way." 

" Damn Caesar and Napoleon and all the rest of them," said the 
little man. " They'd be nowhere fighting against such troops as 
our army have had to oppose, and in such a country as our men 
have to fight. "What do you know of Csesar and Hannibal that 
you make such an assertion ? " 

"Why, sir," I replied, "I was intimate with both these gener- 
als, and took breakfast with them in the Alps, which they passed 
with very little trouble." 

" You are making a jest of this thing, sir," said the little man, 
fiercely. " I can't stand jesting." 

*' You can't stand drinking either," I said, ''for it has evidently 
been too much for your weak head." 

Just then a copperhead sang out, " I'll bet a thousand dollars 
Beauregard could whip Napoleon out of his boots any time." 

" What do you say to that proposition ?" turning to me. 

**Let me settle this little fellow here," I replied, ''before enter- 
ing upon a controversy with you." 

" Well, sir," said the little fellow, " I wouldn't be surprised to 
hear you say that Stonewall Jackson is superior to our generals." 

"Well," I answered, "as you mention the subject, I will say 
that I have heard some people assert that Stonewall Jackson is the 
hardest man alive to whip." 

" Hurrah for Stonewall Jackson ! " shouted a copperhead. 
"Put up your pocket-book, little man, you're a snob ! " 

This made the little man very angry, and, as I seemed the least 
ruffled of the party and did not look as if I would get angry, he 
turned upon me. 

" Sir, you are talking treason — yes, sir, treason. I'll bet you two 
thousand dollars General will be the next President." 

"Look here, little man," I said, "you have a good set of teeth. 



SLANDERED BY A WOMAN. 117 

and my advice to you is to try and keep them in your mouth." 
Then his friends took him away. In two minutes all was apparent- 
ly good humor again, the subject of conversation was changed, and 
I finished my game of billiards. 

Next morning, while taking a walk, I was accosted by Dr. P., 
of the navy, who was attending me professionally. 

*' There are some ugly reports about you going the rounds in 
Newport," said the doctor, " and I thought it my duty to tell you 
of them." 

" Reports about me ? Why, I hardly know anybody in the place. 
Pray what are the reports ? " 

"One of the stories is that you have used treasonable language," 
said the doctor. 

*' And who has circulated such a libel as that ?" 

"Oh, I can't tell you," said the doctor, "as it was told to me 
in confidence." 

" But what good will this information do me unless I kno"^ the 
person who has made the accusation ? " Then I remembered the 
occurrence of the previous evening at the club. 

" It will put you on your guard," he said. 

*' But that won't satisfy me, doctor. I insist on knowing who 
the person is who has slandered me. You are not sufficiently intimate 
with me to bring such a report without telling me who is responsible 
for it. I want the man's name, so that I can call him to account, 
and, unless you give it, I shall hold you personally responsible." 

The doctor saw that I was thoroughly in earnest, and, after 
hesitating a moment, he said : " I shall be guilty of a breach of con- 
fidence if I tell you ; besides, it is not a man — it is a lady, and you 
can not hold her responsible." 

"If she has a husband," I replied, "perhaps he can be made to 
teach his wife to confine herself to the truth." 

Seeing that I was determined to find out all about the matter, 
the doctor said : " Well, if you insist on knowing, it is old Mrs. B. 
She told me in confidence, and will never forgive me if she knows I 
have told you." 

"Ah ! " I said, "that old spy who goes around spotting people 
and giving information to the Government. I have not even seen 
the woman, and as to holding her husband responsible for what 
she may say, that would be absurd ; he is a harmless old gentleman, 
and I should not think of making war on him. But pray, doctor, 
what else did she say of me ? " 



118 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

"She said a good many things," replied the doctor. *'I think 
you must have offended her in some way. She says you are a 
brother-in-law of Semmes, and connived at his escape from the 
Mississippi River in the Sumter." 

''Well, as I was at Southwest Pass, and Semmes got out of 
Pass d I'Outre, where the Brooklyn was stationed, and as that 
vessel chased him oS the coast, there's no use in talking about it. 
What next ? " 

''Mrs. B. says you are a Southern man and a hot rebel." 

''Born in Pennsylvania," I replied. "And you took all that 
in, did you, and you a naval officer ? " 

The doctor looked confused and said nothing. As I turned to- 
ward the house a dispatch was handed me from the telegraph-office : 

" Proceed to Washington without delay and report to the Navy 
Department. Gideon" Welles." 

" Thank you," I exclaimed ; " I will get out of this den of 
scandal and have some active service." 

At 6 P. M. the following day I arrived in Washington and went 
straight to the Navy Department. Mr. Welles had gone home, but 
I saw the assistant secretary, Mr. Fox. 

" Here I am," I said. " What is wanted ? " 

"We just wanted to look at you," said Fox. 

" I am not much to look at after an attack of break-bone fever ;. 
but, like the lean horse, I'm good enough to go if there's anything 
for me to do." 

"Can you get your things out of the Octorora in two hours ?" 
inquired Fox. " We are going to give the vessel to Lieutenant 
George Brown, to jiroceed at once to Charleston." 

As the Octorora was then in Baltimore, I had not much time 
allowed me. 

"Lieutenant Brown can have all my things," I replied. "He 
will need them, and I can sleep on a camp-stool, if necessary — but 
what is to become of my mortar vessels ? " I inquired. 

"They are to be turned over to Wilkes," replied Fox, "and the 
organization broken up." 

I saw at once that something was wrong, but had no idea at the 
time that people were sending reports to the department, under 
plea of zeal for the cause of the Union, to prejudice the Secretary 
of the Navy against his most faithful subordinates. 

The case of General Stone is one which is an eternal disgrace to 
the United States Government. He suffered every indignity, and. 



VISIT TO PRESIDENT LINCOLN. 119 

"when his innocence "was clearly sho"wn, he "was discharged without 
an apology or explanation. 

Fortunately, I had strong friends in the President, Secretary 
Seward, and Secretary Chase, and I felt myself secure from serious 
assault. 

Next day I saw Fox at the department and he informed me 
that I was to be sent to St. Louis to superintend the construction 
of ironclads under Commodore Hull. 

I made no secret of my indignation at this information. 

" This is ostracizing me," I said. *' Certainly my services de- 
serve something better. You can't send me there." 

"Do you mean to say," said Fox, 'Hhat you will refuse to obey 
the order ? " 

"Not exactly that," I replied ; "but I look upon such orders 
as an indignity. I will cheerfully obey any order where I can be 
of service against the enemies of my country, but treat me in that 
way, and I will resign, and get the merchants of New York to 
give me a suitable vessel, and then I will go out and show you how 
to catch the Alabama." 

I walked away. Fox staring after me in astonishment. This 
was one of the few times when he got off his balance. The woman 
with a " B " to her name, and the little fellow of the Newport Club, 
Fox's intimate friend, had imposed upon him. What they really 
told him I never knew or cared. 

I could not see the Secretary of the Navy, as he was engaged, 
but I wrote to him that I was ready for active duty at a moment's 
notice, and, until my services were required, I would like to rejoin 
my family in Newport. 

Permission was at once given me, and I do not believe Mr. 
Welles ever knew I had been sent for. 

I was not in the best of humor when I departed from the office, 
as I thought my chances for distinction were at an end. I felt sure 
the Navy Department was hostile to me, and that I could never get 
along because too stiff-necked to be a courtier. I forgot, for the 
moment, 

" There's a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we wiU." 

The very wind that I supposed was blo"wing me to destruction 
was, in fact, wafting me to fortune. 

I thought I would call, before leaving Washington, and pay my 



120 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

respects to the President. I found him in company with Mr. 
Seward, and both gentlemen seemed glad to see me. 

" What can I do for you, Captain," said the President. 

** Sir," I said, " I think of resigning from the navy and getting 
the merchants of New York to give me a suitable steamer, so that 
I may show the Navy Department how to catch the Alabama. That 
would suit my disposition better than superintending ironclads at 
St. Louis under Commodore Hull. I should fret my heart out 
there in a week suffering such an indignity ; yet that's what the 
Navy Department proposes doing with me," 

"They shall not do it," said Mr. Seward, jumping up. "I 
have not forgotten how you helped me to save Fort Pickens to the 
Union." 

"Yes," said the President, "and got me into hot water with 
Mr. Welles, for which I think he has never forgiven me. I believe 
he would forget it, but, Seward, you won't let him. You are 
always flaunting your claimed success in his face, and deprecating 
the Fort Sumter expedition ; it's like shaking a red rag at a bull. 
If it hadn't been for Seward, Captain, Mr. Welles would have tried 
you by court-martial for disobeying Seward's telegram, although 
you were simply carrying out my written orders — a fact which none 
of us remembered until you were beyond our reach." 

"You were right," said Mr. Seward, " in disobeying my orders, 
as it saved us Fort Pickens." 

"Well," said Mr. Lincoln, "if the navy hasn't broken the 
back-bone of the Eebellion I think it has come pretty near doing it, 
though, after all, Vicksburg slipped through our fingers, which 
was a great disappointment to me, realizing, as I do, its great im- 
portance as a depot of supplies to the Confederates ; however, if I 
live, you shall be at the taking of the place." 

The President then made me describe the battle at the passage 
of Forts Jackson and St. Philip, making his usual shrewd com- 
ments on the matter. 

"I read all about it," he said; "how the ships went up in 
line, firing their broadsides ; how the mortars pitched into the 
forts ; how the forts pitched into the ships, and the ships into the 
rams, and the rams into the gun-boats, and the gun-boats into the 
fire-rafts, and the fire-rafts into the ships. Of course I couldn't 
understand it all, but enough to know that it was a great victory. 
It reminds me," continued the President, "of a fight in a bar-room 
at Natchez, but I won't tell that now. 



COMMAND OF THE MISSISSIPPI SQUADRON. 121 

"It struck me," continued tlie President, ** that the fight at the 
forts was something like the Natchez scrimmage, only a little more 
so." 

"Mr. President," I said, "that achievement of Farragut's is 
the most important event of the war, and all that he has received 
for it is a vote of thanks of Congress. The British Government 
would have loaded him with honors and emoluments."^ 

" How is that, Seward ? " said the President. 

"I don't know anything about it," said the Secretary of State. 
"I am not the head of the Navy Department." 

"No," replied the President, "but you don't mind running off 
with a navy-ship when it suits your purposes." 

"Yes, sir," said Mr. Seward, " when I know it is the only way 
to save the honor of the nation ; but Farragut will not be forgotten." 

The President then summoned a messenger and said, " Go tell 
the Assistant Secretary of the Navy that I wish to see him at once." 

I took my leave on the plea that I had to catch the train for 
Newport. 

" Good-by," said the President ; "you sha'n't go to St. Louis, 
you sha'n't resign, and you shall be at Vicksburg when it falls. " 

When I reached my lodgings in Newport I found a telegram 
awaiting me — 

" Proceed to Washington without delay and report in person 
to the department. Gideon" Welles." 

" Well," I exclaimed, " here we go this time to Fort Lafayette !" 
But I immediately returned to Washington in obedience to my 
orders. 

When I was ushered into the presence of the Secretary of the 
Navy that high functionary smiled on me benignly, gave me his 
two fingers to squeeze, and asked me to be seated. My heart ex- 
panded so at my cordial reception that I felt like embracing the 
venerable statesman, for I thought at least I would be allowed a 
cell to myself at Fort Lafayette ; but he didn't give me time to 
think much, as he handed me a sealed document. 

I opened it with the air of a philosopher, determined to show 
the hard-hearted old gentleman that I was indifferent to my fate, 
and read — 

" You have been appointed to command the Mississippi squad- 
ron, and you will proceed at once to Mound City, Illinois, and relieve 
Flag-Officer Davis, etc. Gideoit Welles." 



122 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

I did not give way to any visible emotion, merely repeating 
aloud, " There's a divinity that shapes our ends," etc. After con- 
gratulating me, the secretary invited me to call and see him at his 
house. 

As I came out of the secretary's office I met the bureau offi- 
cers, and they shook me warmly by the hand. Fox was delighted to 
see me. Faxon, the chief clerk, smiled the first time for weeks. I 
had been '' selected by the President ! " I had friends at court ! 
Human nature is everywhere the same, even in the little semblance 
of a court which we try to maintain. Every one notices when the 
President nods, and what it means, and the man who receives his 
approval is patronized at once. 

What a difference there was between this reception and the one 
I experienced two days previous ! Then I was almost driven to re- 
sign. Now I was a flag officer, with the title of Acting Eear-Ad- 
miral. Let those laugh who win. I won in spite of many obsta- 
cles, and enjoyed my victory amazingly. 

I called with Mr. Fox on the President, and found him, as usual, 
in excellent humor. 

"I promised you," he said to me, "that you should see Yicks- 
burg fall, and now you shall do it. I want to ask you something 
about your plans, for, knowing all about the place, I suppose your 
measures for capturing it must be matured by this time. 

I assured the President that my plans were very simjole. A large 
naval force, a strong body of troops, and patience, were the only 
means of capturing Vicksburg. 

" There was a time not long ago," I said, *' when Vicksburg 
could have been easily captured, but it is now a second Gibraltar, 
and the navy alone could do nothing toward capturing it." 

*' Well," said the President, "whom do you think is the gen- 
eral for such an occasion ? " 

** General Grant, sir. Vicksburg is within his department ; but I 

presume he will send Sherman there, who is equal to any occasion." 

" Well, Admiral," said the President, " I have in my mind a 

better general than either of them ; that is McClernand, an old and 

intimate friend of mine." 

"I don't know him, Mr. President," I said. 
" What ! " exclaimed Mr. Lincoln, " don't know McClernand ? 
Wliy, he saved the battle of Shiloh, when the case seemed hopeless ! " 
(I suppose McClernand told him so.) 

" Why, Mr. President," I replied, " the general impression is 



INTERVIEW WITH GENERAL McCLERNAND. 123 

that Grant -won the battle of Shiloh ; as he commanded the army, 
he would seem entitled to the credit." 

"No," said the President, '* McClernand did it ; he is a natural- 
born general." 

" Well, Mr. President, with all due deference to you, I don't 
believe in natural-born generals except where they have had proper 
military training, and it seems to me the siege of Vicksburg is too 
important a matter to trust to anybody except a scientific military 
man ; besides, if you take troops from Grant and Sherman to give 
them to McClernand, you will weaken the army." 

" Oh, no," said the President, *' I don't mean to do that. Mc- 
Clernand is to go to Springfield, Illinois, and raise troops there for 
the capture of Vicksburg. In the mean time you can prepare to 
co-operate with him." 

These last words of the President were a great.relief to me, for I 
knew it would take some time to raise an army in the way proposed. 

**Now," said the President, "I will give you a note of intro- 
duction to McClernand. I want you to talk the matter over with 
him before you leave Washington ." He wrote the note, gave it to 
me, and I left with Mr. Fox. 

"What do you think of that plan ?" I said to Fox, when we 
were outside. 

"Well, I don't know," he replied ; "but, after you have talked 
with McClernand, suppose you stop in and tell me what you think of 
him." 

I found the general at his hotel, and he talked in the most san- 
guine manner of taking Vicksburg in a week ! 

I listened to him attentively, but, as I did not exactly take in all 
the military points, I left him after he had informed me he had 
already received orders to enlist an army at Springfield, Illinois, 
and command it at the siege of Vicksburg. 

I stopped in to see Fox, who said, " Well, what do you think of 
General McClernand ? " 

"I could form no opinion of him," I said. " Good-by." 

"Are you not going to see the President again before you leave 
Washington ? " he inquired. 

"No," I replied, "I leave for Cairo, Illinois, in two hours, 
to see Grant. McClernand is going to Springfield to raise troops. 
He is shortly to be married, and if he proposes to recruit an army 
in that way, I think it will be hardly worth while to wait for him." 



124 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

Now all you old fellows who have studied the laws, 
And who make a good living by quibbles and flaws. 
Who ne'er had a gun or a sword in your paws, 

Deceiving whose trade is, 

Old men and old ladies, 
Don't mount heavy boots and a long ''yaller" sash. 
Or expose your rich coat, or bright sabreiaclie, 
In battle or skirmish, or where there's a chance 
Of a shot from a pistol or a poke from a lance. 
Be wise, stay at home, read Blackstone and Wheaton, 
And study Coke's tactics, -where you can not be beaten. 



CHAPTER XIII. 

INTERVIEW WITH GENERAL GRANT AT CAIRO — FIRST MEETING 
WITH GENERAL SHERMAN — OUR FLAG HOISTED OVER ARKANSAS 
POST — GENERAL GRANT AND THE SIEGE OF VICKSBURG — HOAX 
ON THE VICKSBURGERS. 

I ASSUMED command of the Mississippi Squadron at Cairo, Illi- 
nois, in October, 1862. There were the sturdy ironclads that had 
fought their way.from Fort Henry to Donaldson, to Island No. 10, 
and White River, and destroyed the enemy's navy at Memphis. All 
had done good service under their gallant commanders, Eoote and 
Davis. 

The Benton, Carondelet, Cairo, Baron de Kalb, Mound City, and 
Cincinnati were designed and constructed by that universal genius, 
James B. Eads, in less than three months, and became famous in 
the annals of the navy. Besides these were the Tyler, Conestoga, 
and Lexington. 

See the old warriors out in the stream, 
Open in many a wood-end and seam ! 

As soon as I arrived, the ironclads were put in the hands of five 
hundred loyal mechanics, and in a week were ready for any service. 

The rest of the vessels under my command were not very formi- 
dable, consisting of some side-wheel river steamboats and three or 



GENERAL GRANT AT CAIRO. 125 

four '' tin-clads," and this was the force with which the navy was 
expected to batter down Vicksburg. 

Soon after my arrival at Cairo I sent a messenger to General 
Grant informing him that I had taken command of the naval 
forces, and should be happy to co-operate with him in any enter- 
prise he might think proper to undertake. I also informed him 
that General McClernand had orders to raise troops at Springfield, 
Illinois, prior to undertaking the capture of Vicksburg. I thought 
it my duty to tell him this, as it was not information given to me 
in confidence. 

Several weeks later Captain McAllister, quartermaster at Cairo, 
gave a supper party to me and the officers on the station on board 
the quartermaster's steamer, a large, comfortable river boat. 

Supper had been served when I saw Captain McAllister usher 
in a travel-worn person dressed in citizen's clothes. McAllister 
was a very tall man, and his companion was dwarfed by his supe- 
rior size. McAllister introduced the gentleman to me as General 
Grant, and placed us at a table by ourselves and left us to talk 
matters over. 

Grant, though evidently tired and hungry, commenced business 
at once. *' Admiral," he inquired, "what is all this you have 
been writing me ? " 

I gave the general an account of my interviews with the Presi- 
dent and with General McClernand, and he inquired, "When can 
you move with your gun-boats, and what force have you ? " 

"I can move to-morrow with all the old gun-boats and five or 
six other vessels ; also the Tyler, Conestoga, and Lexington." 

"Well, then," said Grant, "I will leave you now and write at 
once to Sherman to have thirty thousand infantry and artillery 
embarked in transports ready to start for Vicksburg the moment 
you get to Memphis. I will return to Holly Springs to-night, and 
will start with a large force for Grenada as soon as I can get off. 

" General Joe Johnston is near Vicksburg with forty thousand 
men, besides the garrison of the place under General Pemberton. 
When Johnston hears I am marching on Grenada, he will come 
from Vicksburg to meet me and check my advance. I will hold 
him at Grenada while you and Sherman push on down the Missis- 
sippi and make a landing somewhere on the Yazoo. The garrison 
at Vicksburg will be small, and Sherman will have no difficulty in 
getting inside the works. When that is done I will force Johnston 
out of Grenada, and, as he falls back on Vicksburg, will follow 



126 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

him up with a superior force. "When he finds Vicksburg is occu- 
pied, he will retreat via Jackson." 

I thought this plan an admirable one. Grant and myself never 
indulged in long talks together ; it was only necessary for him to 
tell me what he desired, and I carried out his wishes to the best of 
my ability. 

General Grant started that night for Holly Springs, Mississippi, 
and, I believe, rode on horseback nearly all the way, while I broke 
up the supper party by ordering every officer to his post of duty, 
to be ready to start down the river next day at noon. 

And this was the preliminary step to the capture of Vicksburg. 

Grant, in his plain, dusty coat, was, in my eyes, a greater gen- 
eral than the man who rides around, 

All feathers and fuss. 

Here in twenty minutes Grant unfolded his plan of campaign, 
involving the transportation of over one hundred thousand men, 
and, with a good supper staring him in the face, proposed to ride 
back again over a road he had just traveled without tasting a 
mouthful, his cigar serving, doubtless, for food and drink. 

Three days after, with all the naval forces, I started down the 
Mississippi, and at Memphis found General Sherman embarking his 
troops on a long line of river steamers, and sent word to the general 
that I would call upon him at his headquarters. 

Thinking it probable that Sherman would be dressed in full 
feather, I put on my uniform coat, the splendor of which rivaled 
that of a drum-major. Sherman, hearing that I was indifferent to 
appearances and generally dressed in working-clothes, thought he 
would not annoy me by fixing up, and so kept on his blue flannel 
suit ; and we met, both a little surprised at the appearance of the 
other. 

" Halloo, Porter," said the general, " I am glad to see you ; you 
got here sooner than I expected, but we'll get off to-night. Devil- 
ish cold, isn't it ? Sit down and warm up." And he stirred up 
the coal in the grate. "Here, captain" — to one of his aids — "tell 
General Blair to get his men on board at once. Tell the quarter- 
master to report as soon as he has six hundred thousand rations 
embarked. Here, Dick" — to his servant — "put me up some shirts 
and under-clothes in a bag, and don't bother me with a trunk and 
traps enough for a regiment. Here, Captain " — another aid — " tell 
the steamboat captains to have steam up at six o'clock, and to lay 



MEETING WITH GENERAL SHERMAN. 127 

in plenty of fuel, for I'm not going to stop every few hours to cut 
wood. Tell the officer in charge of embarkation to allow no pick- 
ing and choosing of boats ; the generals in command must take 
what is given them — there, that will do. Glad to see you. Porter ; 
how's Grant ? " 

This was the first time I had ever met General Sherman, and my 
impressions of him were very favorable. I thought myself lucky 
to have two such generals as Grant and Sherman to co-operate with. 

I soon returned to my flag-ship, the Black Hawk, and gave Cap- 
tain "Walke orders to proceed with several vessels to the Yazoo 
River, take possession of the landings in order to prevent the erec- 
tion of batteries, and drag the river above Chickasaw Bayou for 
torpedoes. Captain Walke was directed to use all possible expedi- 
tion, so as to reach the Yazoo at least a day in advance of us. 

We departed from Memphis as arranged, and reached the Yazoo 
in good time. The Cairo, one of my best ironclads, had been 
blown up while grappling for torpedoes ; but the landing of Sher- 
man's army had been secured. 

The rest is a matter of history, and is registered in the chron- 
icles of the times with many variations and not a few misrepresen- 
tations. The reporters who followed the army did not all confine 
themselves to the truth, and when I asked one of them, on a cer- 
tain occasion, why he did not state facts as they occurred, he re- 
plied : 

"If I stated facts I would lose my place, for nothing but sensa- 
tional articles will satisfy the public." 

We reached Chickasaw Bayou in safety, but the army did not 
get much farther. 

Grant's plans were well laid — **man proposes but God disposes '^ 
— and the plans were unsuccessful after all. 

When Grant started from Holly Springs he left behind him a 
large depot of stores on which his army depended for supplies, and 
marched on Grenada with a force (I think) of sixty thousand men. 

General Pemberton, as soon as he learned of this movement, 
saw that he would be locked up in Vicksburg if he let Grant get to 
the rear of that place, and his plan, therefore, was to check Grant's 
advance until other troops could be sent by rail to re-enforce Vicks- 
burg. 

Grant and Pemberton were marching toward each other as fast 
as possible, when the ubiquitous General Van Dorn got in Grant's 
rear and destroyed his supplies at Holly Springs. 



128 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

I belicYe, liowever, that Grant had partly accomplished his ob- 
ject by drawing Pemberton a long way from Vicksburg, with the 
idea that, in the latter's absence, General Sherman would have com- 
paratively little trouble in getting into the city. 

No one, at that time, had any idea of the magnitude of the de- 
fenses that had been erected in every quarter to keep a foe out of 
Vicksburg, as if the Titans had come to the rescue of the rebel 
stronghold. 

Sherman at every point encountered obstacles of which he had 
never dreamed. Forests had been cut down in the line of Chicka- 
saw Bayou, and through the chevaux-de-frise the soldiers, standing 
up to their waists in water, had to cut their way with axes across 
the dismal swamps. All this, of course, took time ; there seemed 
to be no other route to Vicksburg. Haines's Bluff had been forti- 
fied so that no troops could pass in that direction without it was 
first reduced by the gun-boats. Every available soldier in Vicks- 
burg had been brought to the point where Sherman was making his 
approaches, and they worked like devils. 

Old Clootie was there in his vigor and might ; 

He held the bottle and urged on the fight, 

As he dashed with his imps o'er the blood-sprinkled plain, 

His horses' hoofs trampling the wounded and slain. 

"What cared he who died in their vigor and sin. 

As long as the devil and imps could but win ? 

On the first sight of the gun-boats clearing out the Yazoo, the 
officer in command at Vicksburg saw through the whole plan, and 
telegraphed at once to General Pemberton, who immediately hurried 
back to Vicksburg, while Grant returned to Holly Springs. 

Had not General Sherman been stopped by unforeseen obstacles, 
he would have captured the Southern Gibraltar ; but the impedi- 
ments which an energetic adversary threw in the way disconcerted 
all his plans. 

To add to Sherman's difficulties, the rain came on — and such a 
rain ! The heavens seemed trying to drown our army ; the naval 
vessels and transports were the only arks of safety. The level lands 
were inundated, and there were three feet of water in the swamps 
where our army was operating. 

Notwithstanding this dismal situation of affairs, Sherman or- 
dered an assault on the enemy's works. Part of General Blair's and 
part of another division reached the interior of the works and held 
them for a time. 



SECOND CAMPAIGN AGAINST VICKSBURG. 129 

The tables were soon turned, for, just as victory seemed to 
crown our arms, General Pemberton appeared on the scene with his 
army, just returned from Grenada, and drove our small body of 
men out of the works back to the place from which they started. 

That ended the second campaign against Vicksburg, and our 
disheartened troops returned to the transports, where they were free 
from attack, as the enemy could not follow them through the waste 
of waters between their fortifications and the gun-boats. We picked 
up all that we had landed, including an old, worthless horse, deter- 
mined that the enemy should have no more than we could help. 

It was still raining, and the current ran so strong in the river 
that the vessels had to be fastened securely to the trees. The wind 
howled like a legion of devils, though which side it was howling for 
I have no idea. 

That night General Sherman came on board my flag-ship, 
drenched to the skin. He looked as if he had been grappling with 
the mud, and got the worst of it. 

He sat down and remained silent for some minutes. 

** You are out of sorts," I said, at length. *'What is the mat- 
ter?" 

"I have lost seventeen hundred men, and those infernal re- 
porters will publish all over the country their ridiculous stories 
about Sherman being whipped, etc." 

''Only seventeen hundred men!" I said. "Pshaw! that is 
nothing ; simply an episode in the war. You'll lose seventeen 
thousand before the war is over, and will think nothing of it. 
We'll have Vicksburg yet before we die. — Steward, bring some 
punch for the general and myself." 

''That's good sense. Porter!" exclaimed the general, "and I 
am glad to see you are not disheartened ; but what shall we do 
now ? I must take my boys somewhere and wipe this out.'* 

I informed the general that I was ready to go anywhere. 

"Then," said he, "let's go and thrash out Arkansas Post." 
And it was arranged that we should start next morning for that 
place. This attempt on Vicksburg gave occasion for some fine 
strategy on both sides. 

Had General Grant determined in the first instance to advance 
on Vicksburg, leaving a sufficient force of men at Holly Springs to 
protect the place, no doubt Vicksburg would have fallen ; but he 
had every reason to believe that, with the plans he had made, Sher- 
man would get in. The appointed time had evidently not arrived, 
9 



130 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

and it was necessary that a final demonstration of the power and 
determination of the Federal Government should be made, to sat- 
isfy the Southern people that none of their strongholds could 
finally prevail against the Union forces, and that no earthly power 
could dismember the Union, 

For God in Ms wisdom had devised the best plan 
For the union of States and the freedom of man. 

Next morning a colonel, dressed in a new suit of uniform, 
sought an interview with me. I knew he could not belong to Sher- 
man's arm}^ for all his oflScers had long ago worn the brightness 
from their accoutrements. 

"I come," said he, "from General McClernand, who is at the 
mouth of the Yazoo Eiver, and wants you to call and see him as 
soon as possible." 

*'Well," thinks I to myself, "that's cool!" "You can tell 
the general," I said, "that my duties at present are so engrossing 
that I am making no calls, and that it is his place to come and see 
me. What is the general doing, and how did he get here ? " 

"He has come," said the officer, "to take command of the 
army; he took passage down in one of your ram gun-boats." 

Here was a pretty kettle of fish ! I bade the officer good-mom- 
ing and he took his departure. 

Just then I saw General Sherman in a small boat pulled by two 
soldiers. I hailed him, and when he was near enough I said, 
" Sherman, McClernand is at the mouth of the Yazoo, waiting to 
take command of your army ! " 

Sherman looked serious as he inquired, " Are you going to call 
on him ? " 

"No," I replied, "I am not making calls just now." 

" But I must," said Sherman, " for he ranks me." 

In two hours General Sherman returned with General McCler- 
nand, and I received the latter on board the flag-ship with all due 
courtesy, and inquired if he had brought an army with him and 
siege-tools to insure the fall of Vicksburg. 

"No," replied McClernand, "but I find this army in a most 
demoralized state, and I must do something to raise their spirits." 

"Then, sir," I said, " you take command of this army ?" 

" Certainly," he replied ; " and if you will let me have some of 
your gun -boats, I propose to proceed immediately and capture Ar- 
kansas Post." 



OUR FLAG OVER ARKANSAS POST. 131 

Sherman made a remark the purport of which I have forgotten, 
but McClernand made a discourteous reply, whereupon Sherman 
walked off into the after-cabin. I was angry that any one should 
dare treat General Sherman with discourtesy in my cabin. 

I informed General McClernand that the proposition to capture 
Arkansas Post had been broached by General Sherman the previous 
evening, and that I never let my gun-boats go on such an important 
expedition without me. "If," I said, "General Sherman goes in 
command of this army, I will go along with my whole force and 
make a sure thing of it ; otherwise I will have nothing to do with 
the affair." 

Just then Sherman beckoned to me, and I went in to him. 
"My God, Porter ! " he exclaimed, "you will ruin yourself if you 
talk that way to McClernand ; he is very intimate with the Presi- 
dent, and has powerful influence." 

"I don't care who or what he is, he shall not be rude to you in 
my cabin," I replied. 

" Did you understand my proposition. General McClernand ? " 
I inquired, on my return to the forward cabin — he was at that 
moment consulting a map which lay on the table. 

"Yes," said McClernand, "I understand it, and agree to it. 
There is no objection, I suppose, to my going along ? " 

"None in the world," I answered, "only be it understood that 
General Sherman is to command this army." 

We started as soon as possible and arrived at "the Post," a fort, 
mounting eleven heavy guns, on the Arkansas Eiver. I attacked it 
with three ironclads and several smaller vessels, and in three hours 
disabled all the guns. General Sherman surrounded the place 
with his troops, and, after heavy losses, it surrendered — the fort, in 
charge of naval officers, to me, and the Confederate army of six 
thousand men, under General Churchill, to General Sherman. 

Our flag was no sooner hoisted over Arkansas Post — January 11, 
1863 — than General McClernand assumed command of the army 
and wrote the report of the capture — a most ungenerous thing for 
him to do under the circumstances. 

The moment the prisoners were secured and the fort rendered 
untenable General McClernand ordered the army to proceed to 
Vicksburg, and I went in company, sending a message in advance 
to General Grant that I anticipated no good results from McCler- 
nand's commanding the army, that it was unjust to Sherman, that 
I was certain McClernand and myself could never co-operate har- 



132 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

moniously, and I hoped he would come and take command himself. 
I do not know that General Grant ever received my message, but 
we had hardly landed the troops on the bend opposite Vicksburg 
when he appeared and assumed command of the army, and the 
third attack on the rebel stronghold immediately commenced. 

The siege was conducted with great perseverance on our side 
and with great bravery and endurance on the other, and when 
Pemberton surrendered— July 4, 1863— there was nothing left for 
the subsistence of the soldiers or the inhabitants. 

An elaborate history of the siege of Vicksburg would be a most 
interesting military work, but to write it would require much time 
and research, and a consultation not only of official documents but 
of the experience of the principal officers on both sides who were 
engaged in this memorable struggle. 

General Grant has gained a world-wide reputation for his mili- 
tary achievements, but I think no event conferred more credit on 
him than the siege of Vicksburg against the most formidable series 
of earthworks ever erected on this continent. 

I saw the celebrated Malakoff and the Redan two days after 
they fell into the hands of the allied English and French army, and 
they were nothing in comparison with the defenses of Vicksburg. 

Grant's action in turning the flank at Vicksburg with but 
fifty -six thousand men, and defeating two armies aggregating 
eighty thousand strong, forms one of the most remarkable chapters 
in the history of the civil war. 

I do not believe that any of the accounts that were written of 
the events transpiring around Vicksburg during the siege did jus- 
tice to the subject, and I am sorry that the limit of these pages 
will prevent my giving even an outline of this remarkable siege. 

Having encamped directly opposite to Vicksburg, our army had 
a good opportunity of contemplating the task before it. 

It was evident that the place could not be taken from the front ; 
the rebel army and the inhabitants were receiving all the supplies 
they wanted, not only via Jackson but by steamers from Eed River. 
It was desirable to stop this communication. 

I had under my command a semi-naval organization called the 
"Marine Brigade," which had done good service at Memphis and 
elsewhere. Several of the vessels in this organization were com- 
manded by members of the Ellet family, the senior member of 
which, Brigadier-General A. W. Ellet, commanded the brigade. 

Colonel Charles Ellet, Jr., a young man of twenty-two, com- 



TREACHERY OF A PILOT AT FORT DE RUSSY. 133 

manded the Queen of the "West, a ram improvised from a river 
steamboat. 

I ordered young Ellet to pass the batteries of Vicksburg at 
night, proceed to the mouth of Eed Eiver, intercept the supplies 
for Vicksburg and Port Hudson, and capture everything he could 
overtake. 

I don't know whether it was from love of glory or from want of 
judgment, but, instead of taking advantage of the darkness to run 
the batteries, Ellet chose early daylight, got well hammered as he 
passed the forts, and nearly defeated the object of the expedition. 
Not being accustomed to strict discipline, Ellet did not realize the 
necessity of carrying out his orders to the letter. 

After Colonel Ellet reached Eed Eiver he captured several 
steamers loaded with provisions for Port Hudson, and having on 
board a number of Confederate officers ; and hearing that other 
steamers were on their way down Eed Eiver, his youthful ardor led 
him to go on up that stream. 

He arrived at Fort De Eussy, and there, by the treachery of his 
pilot, was run on shore near the batteries. The enemy opened fire 
on the Queen of the West, killing and wounding numbers of the 
crew and cutting the steam-pipe. The vessel was now helpless, and 
Ellet and all his officers and men who were able jumped overboard 
and drifted down the river to a point where one of their prizes lay, 
got on board of her, and made their escape. 

In the mean time I had prepared the ironclad Indianola and 
sent her down to assist the Queen of the West. The Indianola 
passed the batteries at night with little damage, and met Colonel 
Ellet and his men coming up in their prize steamer New Era. 

The Indianola, with two coal-barges in tow, continued down 
until she reached the mouth of Eed Eiver, then turned back and 
proceeded up river again until near the plantation of Mr. Joseph 
Davis, the brother of the Confederate President. 

At daylight next morning, after the Queen of the West had been 
abandoned, the Confederates took possession and soon repaired 
damages. 

The Confederate ram Webb joined the Queen of the West from 
Alexandria, and the two vessels, well manned and armed, proceeded 
in search of the Indianola, came up with her at Davis's planta- 
tion, rammed her, and she ran into shoal water and sank, February 
24, 1863. 

We heard of the disaster a few hours after, and all my calcula- 



134 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

tions for stopping the enemy's supplies were for the time frustrated ; 
but I took a philosophical view of the matter as one of the episodes 
of the war. However, it was necessary to try and prevent the rebels 
from raising the Indianola, and, as I was not ready to go down the 
river myself, as it would interfere with an important military 
movement, I hit upon a cheap expedient, which worked very 
well. 

I set the whole squadron at work and made a raft of logs, three 
hundred feet long, with sides to it, two huge wheel-houses and a 
formidable log casemate, from the port-holes of which appeared sun- 
dry wooden guns. Two old boats hung from davits fitted to the 
*' ironclad," and two smoke-stacks made of hogsheads completed 
the illusion ; and on her wheel-houses was j^ainted the following : 
" Deluded Rebels, Cave In ! " An American flag was hoisted aft, 
and a banner emblazoned with skull and cross-bones ornamented the 
bow. 

When this craft was completed, she resembled at a little dis- 
tance the ram Lafayette, which had just arrived from St. Louis. 

The mock ram was furnished with a big iron pot inside each 
smoke-stack, in which was tar and oakum to raise a black smoke, 
and at midnight she was towed down close to the water-batteries of 
Vicksburg and sent adrift. 

It did not take the Vicksburg sentinels long to discover the 
formidable monster that was making its way down the river. The 
batteries opened on her with vigor, and continued the fire until she 
had passed beyond the range of their guns. 

The Vicksburgers had greatly exulted over the capture of the 
Queen of the West and the Indianola ; the local press teemed with 
accounts of the daring of the captors, and flattered themselves that, 
with the Indianola and Queen of the West in their possession, they 
would be able to drive the Union navy out of the Mississippi. What 
was their astonishment to see this huge ironclad pass the batteries, 
apparently unharmed, and not even taking the trouble to fire a gun ! 

Some of our soldiers had gone down to the point below Vicks- 
burg to see the fun, and just before reaching Warrenton the mock 
monitor caught the eddy and turned toward the bank where these 
men were gathered. 

The soldiers spent several hours in trying to shove the dummy 
off into the stream, when daylight overtook them in the midst of 
their work, and the Queen of the West, with the Confederate flag 
flying, was seen coming up the river and stopping at Warrenton. 



SINKING OF THE INDIANOLA. 135 

As we afterward learned, she came up for pumps, etc., to raise 
the Indianola. 

In the mean while the military authorities in Vicksburg had sent 
couriers down to Joe Davis's plantation to inform the people on 
board the Webb that a monster ironclad had passed the batteries 
and would soon be upon them. The crew of the Webb were busy- 
in trying to remove the guns from their prize, and, when they heard 
the news, determined to blow her up. 

Just after the Queen of the West made the Warrenton landing 
the soldiers succeeded in towing the mock ironclad into the stream, 
and she drifted rapidly down upon the rebel prize, whose crew 
never stopped to deliberate, but cut their fasts and proceeded down 
the river. Their steam was low, and for a time the mock ironclad 
drifted almost as fast as the Queen of the West ; but at length the 
latter left her formidable pursuer far behind. 

The Queen of the West arrived at the point where the Indianola 
was sunk just as the people on board the Webb were preparing to 
blow her up, bringing the news that the "great ironclad" was 
close behind. So the Webb cast off and, with her consort, made 
all speed down the river. 

The Webb had been so greatly injured in ramming the Indiano- 
la that she had to go to Shreveport for repairs, and the Queen of 
the West was shortly after recaptured and destroyed. 

The results of the capture of the Indianola were, however, de- 
plorable. It is wonderful how rapidly news was transmitted along 
the river, and the Indianola had scarcely sunk before Farragut 
heard of it on board the Hartford. He was also informed that the 
Confederates had raised the vessel and were about to use her against 
his fleet at Port Hudson. 

Farragut had obtained the false impression that the Indianola 
was a very powerful vessel, and so he thought it necessary to pass 
the batteries at Port Hudson and encounter her before she could 
get under the protection of the Confederate works at that place. 

This induced him to attempt to run past Port Hudson with a 
portion of his fleet, when he met with considerable loss. 

Owing to the smoke from the guns which hung over the river, 
the pilots could not see their way. The frigate Mississippi grounded 
opposite the forts, and there remained, while the enemy poured 
shot and shell into her to their hearts' content. 

Her commanding officer did everything that was possible to get 
his vessel off ; but, finding all his efforts useless, and that his offi- 



136 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

cers and men were being sacrificed, lie set fire to the ship and 
abandoned her. 

As the frigate's upper works were consumed the ship became 
lightened ; she slid off the mud-bank and, drifting down the river, 
blew up with an awful sound that carried joy to the hearts of the 
Confederates. 

A thousand memories clustered around the dear old ship, and 
she will be handed down in history with the Hartford, whose for- 
tunes up to this time she had shared. 

Only two of Farragut's vessels passed Port Hudson — the Hart- 
ford, his flag-ship, and another which was lashed to her ; so he ar- 
rived at the mouth of Eed Eiver with but a small portion of his 
fleet. 

So much for the loss of one ironclad of which much was ex- 
pected and by which little was accomplished. The Indianola lay 
imbedded in the mud until after the fall of Vicksburg, when we 
raised her. 

The Vicksburg people were furious at the trick we played 
them, and the newspapers reviled their military authorities for not 
being able to distinguish an old raft from a monster ironclad ! 
They were consoled, however, in a day or two when the news of 
the destruction of the Mississippi reached Vicksburg. 

Notwithstanding their gallant defense, the garrison of Vicks- 
burg were daily growing weaker while our strength was all the 
time increasing. They began to realize that we had come to stay 
until we could plant the Union flag over their stronghold. 



CHAPTER XIV. 

GENEEAL GRANT'S PLANS FOR TAKING VICKSBURG — THE YAZOO 
PASS EXPEDITION — NAVAL EVOLUTIONS IN THE WOODS — PILES 
OF COTTON BURNED BY THE CONFEDERATES — MR. TUB, THE 
TELEGRAM-WIRE MAN — THE PASS AT ROLLING FORK — END OF 
THE STEELE BAYOU EXPEDITION. 

I INTENDED by this time to have departed from before Vicks- 
burg, and to leave it to future scribblers to write about, as no 
doubt they will do, just as tourists visit the plains of Waterloo to 



THE YAZOO PASS EXPEDITION. 137 

pick up relics and write an oft-told tale ; but there is a fascination 
about the place (Vicksburg) that prevents me from tearing myself 
away. 

Everything about that siege is an anecdote or a reminiscence 
worthy of being treasured up. 

One of the liveliest reminiscences I have of the siege is what is 
called the Yazoo Pass expedition — one of three attempts we made 
to get behind Vicksburg with a fleet of ironclads and a detachment 
of the army — in which I have to say that we failed most egregiously. 

At one period of the siege the rains had swollen the Mississippi 
River so much that it had backed its waters up into its tributaries, 
which had risen seventeen feet, and, overflowing, had inundated the 
country for many miles. 

Great forests had become channels admitting the passage of 
large steamers between the trees, and now and then wide lanes 
were met with where a frigate might have passed. 

The ironclads drew only seven feet of water and had no masts 
or yards to encumber them, and but little about their decks that 
could be swept away by the bushes or lower branches of the trees. 
I had thoughts of trying the experiment of getting the vessels back 
of Vicksburg in that way, and sent Lieutenant Murphy in a tug 
to examine the woods as far as he could go, and to let me know the 
results of his cruise as soon as possible. 

Murphy soon returned with the most cheering news, and in- 
duced me to go with him and take a look for myself. General 
Grant accompanied me, and, prepared with lead-lines to measure 
the depth, we started off. 

A few miles up the Yazoo, before reaching Haines's Bluff, we 
came to an opening in the woods. Under the pilotage of Murphy, 
the tug Jessie Benton darted into the bushes, and the man at the 
lead took the soundings — nothing less than fifteen feet. Presently 
we reached an opening between the trees sufficiently wide to admit 
two ironclads abreast. I suppose it was an ancient road in the 
forest by which to haul cotton to the river. 

We followed this for five miles until we reached a forest of large 
trees without any undergrowth, but with width enough between 
them to admit the passage of our heaviest ironclad. This forest 
permitted us to steam along about five miles farther, when we 
came to a wide opening where there were but few trees. Here we 
found a bayou leading to the westward with from ten to twelve feet 
of water — more than enough for our purposes. 



138 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

We knew this bayou led into the Eolling Fork, Yallabusha, 
and Sunflower Rivers, though there was not generally enough 
water in it to float a canoe. We could not ascend it then for fear 
of alarming the inhabitants, or letting them know the news of our 
arrival in these woods and having it conveyed to Vicksburg. 

We saw all we wanted, and General Grant approved of the plan 
I proposed of going up with some ironclads, tugs, etc., and trying 
to get into the Sunflower ; that would lead us into the Yazoo 
again, and we could come down and take Haines's Bluff in the 
rear. 

General Grant also determined to send General Sherman on the 
expedition with ten thousand troops, and said we could make a 
reconnoissance if we could do no more, for he saw from the first 
that there was no use in sitting down before Vicksburg and simply 
looking at 'It, or bombarding it to bring about a surrender; we 
would have lost time, and deposited our shell in the hills, increas- 
ing their weight in iron, without getting nearer to our object. 
General Grant had from the first an idea of turning Vicksburg, but 
how to do it was the question. He was obliged to have transports 
if he went below the city and desired to cross the river to land on 
the Vicksburg side, and enough of these transports to carry troops 
and provisions. How was he to get these frail vessels below Vicks- 
burg without passing the batteries ? One shot would disable 
them. He could depend upon the gun-boats to pass the batteries, 
but there were not enough of them to convey the necessary number 
of troops, and they had no accommodations for carrying provisions. 

Besides, it would not do to take too many of the gun-boats be- 
low Vicksburg, for it would leave the upper Mississippi unguarded, 
and the enemy would commence at once to erect batteries along 
the river and stop the transportation of troops and stores. Dur- 
ing all Grant's operations before Vicksburg, while I had command 
of the river force, he never had a transport molested. I so guarded 
the Mississippi — from Cairo down — with gun-boats (which I was 
building or altering incessantly) that flying batteries and guerrillas 
— so called — were never able to make any headway. 

General Grant had to think of all these things before he could 
make a move for below. 

He talked with me about it, and I assured him I was ready to 
go the moment he desired it. He thought he might do some- 
thing that would enable him to get by Vicksburg without bringing 
his transports under fire. He tried cutting a ditch across the 



NAVAL EVOLUTIONS IN THE WOODS. 139 

peninsula, in hopes that the river would burst through there and 
leave Vicksburg out in the cold. This occurred finally (after the 
war), but too late for our operations, for, notwithstanding the 
high stage of the water, it refused to run through the ditch ; heavy 
eddies extended from the shore far out into the river and kept the 
current away from the bank ; there was no cutting power in the 
eddies. 

Grant tried to make a channel through what was called Lake 
Providence, but some of the vessels that tried this passage got 
entangled in the woods, and came near remaining there. 

Every known expedient had been tried without success, and 
now it remained to attempt the route through the woods to the 
west of the Yazoo Eiver. 

Sixty or seventy miles above Vicksburg there was, many years 
ago, an old pass into the Yallabusha and the Sunflower called the 
Yazoo Pass. This had long since been closed up by a deep levee, 
and the land, once overflowed through this pass, had become flour- 
ishing plantations. 

It was proposed by some one to open the pass once more and let 
the water flow in, making a deep channel by which we could send 
in an expedition of gun-boats. These might reach the Yazoo Eiver 
that way back of Vicksburg and clear the way for the troops. 

This plan met with approval, and General Grant and myself 
determined, at the same time we were trying to get up through the 
woods and the bayou into the Sunflower, that we would send a 
naval and military expedition through the old Yazoo Pass. 

This expedition consisted of two heavy ironclads, three or four 
light-armed vessels, and about four thousand troops in transports. 
The force arrived at the point selected, a few men dug a small 
trench with spades, and in an hour the water was rushing in with^ 
the force of a cataract, carrying away a hundred yards of the levee 
and inundating hundreds of acres of land. It took twenty-four 
hours for the water to reach a level, and then the gun-boats, with- 
out more ado, pitched in regardless of consequences, followed by 
the transports. Then came the tug of war. The vessels were 
swept along with great velocity until they got beyond the great 
pressure of the water, or were stopped by the trees with their over- 
hanging branches, which brought them up all standing, bringing 
their smoke-stacks on deck and knocking off some of the upper 
cabins. 

The ironclads stood the thumping better than the lighter ves- 



140 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

sels, for they had no cabins above, and all they had to fear was the 
loss of their smoke-stacks and boats, some of which were crushed 
to pieces. 

All the vessels were at the mercy of the strong current. If one 
of them for a moment grappled a tree to hold on by, she would 
find another one sweeping down on her from astern, and, for fear 
of being crushed, she had to let go, and then all floated on to- 
gether. 

During the years in which the old Yazoo Pass had been closed 
the heavy trees had mingled their branches across the stream, and 
now often stopped the progress of the fleet. Then a thousand 
hands would be set to work with axes and saws to clear away over- 
head for a mile or two in advance. 

Sometimes the vessels would come bunap against a small " Eed 
River raft," held securely by running vines or wedged in so strong- 
ly with a key-log that it would require hours of labor before they 
could get the raft loose and let it go drifting down with the cur- 
rent ; then the fleet would push on again, and this lasted three or 
four days, while the expedition only progressed forty miles. 

Most of the light vessels were perfect wrecks in their upper 
works. Their machinery and boilers held out, and that was all 
that was required of them. It was a painful and ever-to-be-re- 
membered expedition to those who took part in it. 

To make matters worse, the naval ofiicer commanding the expe- 
dition showed symptoms of aberration of mind, and the other offi- 
cers with him had great difficulty in getting him to pursue proper 
measures. The officer in charge of the troops got discontented 
with the hard work his men had to perform in cutting down trees 
and other obstructions. Still they kept pushing on, and no such 
word as fail was heard. All wondered how they would get out of 
that, or back again through that cataract ; but then their orders 
wer.e to push on and to come out behind Vicksburg ! Day and 
night they moved along, taking no rest, though they would not 
make more than two miles in twelve hours. It was work that tried 
men's souls, and there are few naval officers left of all that party 
who can sit down and tell of that adventure. Death's avaricious 
hand has snatched most of them away, and it shows the effect the 
toil and excitement of war will have on men of iron, with nerves of 
steel, who, if they had been left to pursue the peaceful avocations 
of life, would probably have been here now. 

There is an end to all hard work, privation, and exposure. 



CHECK TO THE EXPEDITION. 141 

Every one is either killed or used up, or gets to some place where 
he can lie down and rest. 

There is a certain amount of endurance sailors and soldiers 
possess which is kept up as long as the nerve-power holds out, and 
it was with a relieved feeling that the people of this expedition 
could finally lie down and sleep without the disturbing noise of 
crushing bulwarks, or the fall on the decks of decaying limbs. 
They did not shun death nor danger, and at last they earned their 
reward : " they slept." 

The expedition reached an opening at last that entered another 
stream almost wide enough for two vessels abreast, and without 
overhanging trees, " Eed River rafts," or sand-bars — a pleasant, 
swift-running stream that seemed willing to carry them whitherso- 
ever they wished to go, and they thought how their companions 
who had stayed behind would envy them when they heard their 
guns booming back of Haines's Bluff, startling the Confederates 
out of their secure and comfortable sleep. 

They were anxious to get on, and the command, owing to the 
unfortunate condition of the senior oflBcer, fell upon the next in 
rank, as brave a fellow as ever stepped on a ship's deck. He had 
the whistles blown for getting under way, and sang out, " On to 
Yicksburg, boys, and no more trees to saw ! " The flotilla moved 
on about a mile, and, on turning a bend, ran almost into a fort in 
the middle of the river, with the channel each side blocked by 
sunken steamers. Heavy rifled guns were mounted in the works, 
and there was a large body of troops in the fort who Jumped to 
their pieces the moment our vessels appeared in sight. 

These works were all new, and the guns just mounted ; the 
sunken steamers had scarcely blown ofE their steam. They had but 
a few hours ago brought the guns and carriages, and thrown up 
breastworks on the sudden bend in the river (or half island), and 
seeing our forces close at hand, they had sunk the steamers to pre- 
vent our gun-boats from running past the battery. All this took 
our people by surprise. They knew from the truthful contrabands 
that there was no such work on this stream until they should reach 
Haines's Bluff. 

Here was a check with a vengeance. Had the fort been alto- 
gether ready it would have given the lighter vessels of the expedi- 
tion a warm reception as they came so confidingly down the 
river, and were so mixed up. As to the transports and troops, 
they would have fared badly. There was no way of turning 



142 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

the steamers around and going up stream again, for the river was 
too narrow. 

The vessels had to get hold of each other and back up against 
the stream until they could reach a bend where they could not be 
seen. While they were doing all this they would have been exposed 
to a raking fire had the enemy had his powder ready. Laus Deo ! 
he had not loaded his guns, and was in quite as much excitement 
over the apparition of two large ironclads and a dozen transports 
and light gun-boats with the pipes all knocked over, and their 
cabins and light work all gone, as was our party. 

They no doubt wondered where they all came from, and how 
they got there. 

The Yazoo Pass expedition was supposed to have been prepared 
without any one knowing anything about its destination except 
General Grant and myself and the commanding naval and military 
officers, and, even until a spade was stuck into the earth to open the 
pass, it was thought that the destination of the expedition was a 
profound secret. Yes, pretty much such a secret as a dozen women 
would keep. 

Secret or not, here the expedition was met — almost at its first 
entrance to those inland waters — by heavy earthworks, three or four 
rifled cannon, and a body of troops. The question was. What was 
to be done ? 

The ironclads, after going backward for a time, tied up to the 
bank, and, overlapping each other, opened fire on the enemy's 
work, which turned out to be named Fort Pemberton, after the 
wily old soldier in command at Vicksburg. 

Ours was a pretty piece of strategy for getting into the rear of 
Vicksburg, but Pemberton's was better, as it checkmated us com- 
pletely, and this often happened in the siege. 

The Confederates were a wide-awake set of adversaries, full of 
energy and courage, and not lacking in resources. They were 
working with all their souls to attain an object which they consid- 
ered conducive to their happiness, and they did not care whom 
they hurt, so long as they could succeed. 

Our people, though quite as energetic as the Southerners, 
fought with a different sentiment. There was still some kindly 
feeling left in them for their foes, whose courage and endurance 
under great privation often called forth applause. We were not 
fighting with the courage of despair. A man of ordinary intellect 
could see the end which would be the downfall of the Southern 



DESPERATION OF THE SOUTHERNERS. 143 

Confederacy. It was as plain as the writing on the wall at the 
feast of Belshazzar. 

The Southerners were fighting with the energy of despair, hop- 
ing that some untoward event might spring up to help them. At 
all events, they were determined to command their enemy's respect 
for their courage and ability, and I don't think any brave sailor or 
soldier ever withheld it. 

Our troops were flocking to the fields of battle by the hundred 
thousands at a time, when the Confederate troops began to give 
out in numbers. We were certain of means, suffered very little of 
the discomforts by sieges and bombardments experienced by the 
Confederates, had no rancorous feeling to urge us on, and simply 
desired to see the laws vindicated and the authority of the Gov- 
ernment established over revolting States. There were occasions 
when we did not seem to count the value of time, and our ener- 
gies, though well put forth, did not equal those of our enemies. 

On our side there was not a sufficient unity in command ; there 
was a kind of ''stand-off" between the army and the navy when 
acting together, which prevented them from working in harmony 
and with one purpose. There should always have been one man in 
an expedition in command of the whole, and his authority should 
have been so manifest that there would have been no appeal from 
his orders. 

This was not the case in the Yazoo Pass expedition. Each 
corps commanded its men independent of the other, and there 
seemed no disposition to act in concert. 

The course of General Grant and myself in all such matters 
corresponded entirely with what I have suggested. Though he had 
no control over me whatever, and I was never tied down by any 
orders from the Navy Department, but left to my own discretion, 
I always deferred to his wishes in all matters, and went so far as 
to give orders to those under my command that they should obey 
the orders of Generals Grant and Sherman the same as if they 
came from myself. Hence we always acted with the most perfect 
accord. 

In this case the officer commanding the troops should have been 
subject to the orders of the naval officer. Then, I think, we would 
have discomfited General Pemberton's strategy by taking posses- 
sion of his fort. 

When the ironclads, the Chilicothe, Captain Foster, and the 
Baron de Kalb, under Captain Walker, opened their bow guns (the 



144 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

only ones they could use), the fort responded promptly, and in a 
short time jammed the port shutters of the Chilicothe so that they 
could not be opened. It was certain death for a man to go out on 
the bow to work with chisel and hammer, and Captain Foster had 
to withdraw from action until he could remedy the difficulty. In 
the mean time the Baron de Kalb remained and sustained the 
action alone, and so well was the fire directed that half an hour 
after the Cliilicothe returned to her station the fort stopped firing, 
though the Confederate flag was kept flying. 

JSTow was the time for the troops to operate ; they should have 
been sent out as sharpshooters, should have crawled within fifty 
yards of the works, and kept up such a fusillade that nothing could 
have stood it. 

The vessels could not get near to the fort without being blown 
up by torpedoes. One torpedo did explode right in front of the 
Chilicothe when she took her position the second time, and no 
doubt they were planted all around the works, and for some dis- 
tance from them. 

There were not sailors enough to undertake to carry the works 
in boats, and everything was at a stand-still. The army officer in 
command took no suggestion from any one, and declined to assault 
the fort (which was a low one) and have his men sacrificed. 
Pemberton's strategy succeeded, and our party left the place, 
struggling back again wearily through the Yazoo Pass, which we 
had taken so much trouble to clean out, having inundated many 
thousands of acres to no purpose at all. 

Great complaints were made by both sides as to whose fault it 
was that there was a failure, but I told the navy I didn't want to 
hear anything about it ; they did not get through, and didn't get 
the fort, and the less said about it the better. " It was just one of 
the episodes of the war " (my consolation when I met with a fail- 
ure), and I never wanted to hear of the Yazoo Pass expedition 
again. 

I had gone through the mill myself and knew exactly how it 
was, and didn't feel much like blaming any one. These expedi- 
tions don't sound badly on paper, but they were enough to try 
men's souls. 

About the time the Yazoo Pass expedition got off I proposed 
an expedition to go through the woods by the same route explored 
by General Grant and myself. 

I determined to go myself, and, to make it a success, I omitted 



REMARKABLE MILITARY AND NAVAL EXPEDITION. 145 

nothing that might possibly be wanted on such an expedition. I 
selected the ironclads Louisyille, Lieutenant-Commanding Owen ; 
Cincinnati, Lieutenant-Commanding Bache ; Carondelet, Lieuten- 
ant-Commanding Murphy ; Mound City, Lieutenant-Commanding 
Wilson ; Pittsburgh, Lieutenant-Commanding Hoel, and four tugs ; 
also two light mortar-boats built for the occasion, to carry each a 
thirteen-inch mortar and shells enough to bombard a city. 

I really do believe I thought I was sure of getting in the rear 
of Vicksburg, and could send some more shells into the hills that 
would keep them fastened down to eternity. 

At the same time General Sherman prepared his contingent to 
accompany the expedition. 

General Grant was so much interested in this work that he went 
up to the end of the woods on one of the transports to see Sherman 
start on his march alongside of the gun-boats, and gave his per- 
sonal attention toward pushing ahead those of Sherman's troops 
that had not reached us in the transports. These now and then 
got lost in the thick woods, and sometimes got their pipes knocked 
down. 

This was one of the most remarkable military and naval expedi- 
tions that ever set out in any country, and will be so ranked by those 
who read of it in future times. 

Here was a dense forest, deeply inundated, so that large steamers 
could ply about among the trees with perfect impunity. They were 
as much at home there as the wild denizens of the forest would be 
in dry times. 

The animals of all kinds had taken to the trees as the only arks 
of safety. Coons, rats, mice, and wild cats were in the branches, 
and if they were not a happy family, it was because when they lay 
down together the smaller animals reposed within the larger ones. 

It was a curious sight to see a line of ironclads and mortar-boats, 
tugs and transports, pushing their way through the long, wide lane 
in the woods without touching on either side, though sometimes a 
rude tree would throw Briarean arms around the smoke-stack of the 
tin-clad Forest Rose, or the transport Molly Miller, and knock their 
bonnets sideways. 

It all looked as though the world had suddenly got topsy-turvy, 
or that there was a great camp-meeting in the woods on board iron- 
clads and transports. 

The diflBculty was to preserve quiet, so that our presence might 
not be detected by the enemy's scouts. It could not be possible, I 

10 



146 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

thought, that the besieged in Vicksburg would not have sought an 
opportunity to reconnoitre our lines by means of canoes, or even 
communicate with some of those who were always to be found faith- 
less to their trust. Indeed, I would not have been much surprised 
to see a rebel iron-clad ram lurking somewhere in the bushes, ready 
to spring out on us. They were building two of them in Yazoo 
City, where the ram Arkansas came from. "Why should we not 
meet them here ? 

If one had suddenly slid down a tree and attacked us I should 
not have been much surprised. The only reason why that was not 
likely to happen was that the Confederates were not lucky *'in 
Aries," and generally managed to lose their rams and ironclads soon 
after they were built. They would perform some creditable feat 
with these vessels, and then blow them up, or set fire to them, to 
keep them from falling into our hands. 

Besides, I had little fear of the rams at Yazoo City, as I knew 
their condition, through a truthful contraband, who informed me, 
" Dey has no bottom in, no sides to 'em, an' no top on to 'em, sah, 
an' deir injines is in Richmon'." 

We ran on, in line of battle, eight or ten miles through the open 
way in the trees, carrying fifteen feet of water by the lead-line. Let 
the nautical reader imagine an old quartermaster in the " chains " 
of an ironclad steaming through the woods and singing out, ** Quar- 
ter less three ! " Truth is stranger than fiction. 

At last we came to a point where the forest was close and com- 
posed of very large trees — old monarchs of the woods which had 
spread their arms for centuries over those silent solitudes : Titans, 
like those in the old fables, that dominate over all around them. 

In the distance, between the trees, would spring into sight gray, 
sunless glens in which the dim, soft ripple of day seemed to glimmer 
for a second so fancifully, indeed, that it required but a slight stretch 
of imagination to see the wood-nymphs disporting in their baths. 

The sun seldom reached these woody glades, and, if it did, it 
was but to linger for a moment and disappear, like the bright star 
of eve, behind a silver cloud. 

It all looked like some infinite world in which we were adrift, 
where the sky, soft and serene (which we had been accustomed to 
see), had been furled in anticipation of a squall. 

Every turn of the wheels sent an echo through the woods that 
would frighten the birds of prey from their perches, whence they 
were looking down upon the waste of waters, wondering (no doubt) 



RAMMING AND PULLING AT BIG TREES. 147 

what it all might mean, and whom these mighty buzzards, skim- 
ming over the waters and carrying everything before them, could 
possibly be. 

Our line of battle was broken on approaching the large trees ; 
then we had to go more cautiously. What, thought I, if the trees 
should become so dense that we could not pass between them ; what 
would we do then ? I solved the difficulty at once. " Ram that 
large tree there," I said to the captain of the Cincinnati ; *' let us 
see what effect the old turtle will have on it." It was an unneces- 
sary act of vandalism to injure the old Titan, but it would shorten 
our road, and we would not be obliged to go meandering about to 
Und a channel. We struck the tree while going at the rate of three 
knots an hour, and bounded off, but started it about twenty degrees 
from the perpendicular. The light soil about its roots had become 
softened by the water, and the tree had not much staying power. 
I backed again and gave it another ram, and the weight of eight 
hundred tons, with a three-knot velocity, sent it out of all propriety. 
I hailed the ironclad astern of me, and ordered her to bend a heavy 
chain to it and pull it down, which was accomplished in half an 
hour. 

I wanted to see what we could do at ramming and pulling at big 
trees, and our experience so gained came into play before we got 
through the expedition. 

It was all very pleasant at first, skimming along over summer 
seas, under the shade of stalwart oaks, but we had no conception of 
what we had before us. 

We had to knock down six or eight of these large trees before 
we could reach the point where Sherman was disembarking part of 
his troops. When I came up he was on a piece of high ground, on 
an old white horse some of his *'boys " had captured. 

"Halloo, old fellow," he sang out, "what do you call this? 
This must be traverse sailing. You think it's all very fine Just 
now, don't you ; but, before you fellows get through, you won't 
have a smoke-stack or a boat among you." 

"So much the better," I said; "it will look like business, 
and we will get new ones. All I want is an engine, guns, and 
a hull to float them. As to boats, they are very much in the 
way." 

At this point we ran up alongside higher land which looked like 
a levee. 

" Is this the last of it ? " I asked Sherman. 



I 



14:8 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

"No," he said ; " steam on about twenty yards to the west, and 
you will find a hole through a kind of levee wide enough, I think, 
for your widest vessel. That is Cypress Bayou ; it leads into the 
Sunflower about seventy-five miles distant, and a devil of a time 
you'll have of it. Look out those fellows don't catch you. I'll be 
after you." 

Sherman knew every bayou and stream in that part of the 
country better than the oldest inhabitants knew them. 

I pushed on, my fleet following, and soon found myself inside 
the bayou. It was exactly forty-six feet wide. My vessel was 
forty-two feet wide, and that was the average width of the others. 
This place seemed to have been a bayou with high levees bordering, 
reaching, indeed, above the vessel's guns. 

It had been made, I suppose, into a kind of canal to connect 
the waters of the Sunflower by a short cut with those of the 
Yazoo, near Haines's Bluff. All on the left of the levee was deep 
water in the woods. On the other side were cornfields. The levee 
had stopped the further encroachment of the flood. This bayou 
had not been used for many years for the purposes of navigation. 
It had almost closed up, and the middle of it was filled with little 
willows which promised to be great impediments to us, but, as there 
was nine feet of water in the ditch, I pushed on. 

Sherman told me he would follow me along the left bank of the 
ditch with his troops, and be up with me before I knew it, as he 
would make two miles to my one. 

It was intended from the first that we should travel along to- 
gether for mutual support. We to transport him across rivers and 
marshes, he to keep off sharp-shooters, whom we could not reach 
with our guns on account of the high banks. We left Sherman at 
the point where we found him arranging his men, and I pushed into 
the bayou with my whole force, keeping one tug in the advance with 
one mortar-boat, the ironclads in the middle, and the other tugs 
and mortar-boat with the coal-barge bringing up the rear. 

We supposed we were doing all this very secretly, and were go- 
ing to surprise the natives. No doubt we did surprise those who 
dwelt on and along the Cypress Bayou, but our movement was 
probably no surprise to the Confederates in Vicksburg. I am quite 
satisfied in my own mind that, while we were steaming along and 
performing naval evolutions in the woods, the President of the 
Southern Confederacy was reading something like the following 
dispatch to his Cabinet : 



GOING AHEAD BETWEEN BURNING BALES OF COTTON. U9 

" Sherman and Porter pirouetting through the woods in steam- 
ers and ironclads. Are keeping a lookout on them. Hope to bag 
them all before to-morrow." 

"We had not entered the bayou more than half a mile before we 
saw the greatest excitement prevailing. Men on horseback were 
flying in all directions. Cattle, instead of being driven in, were 
driven off to parts unknown. Pigs were driven by droves to the 
far woods, and five hundred negroes were engaged in driving into 
the fields all the chickens, turkeys, ducks, and geese, and what were 
a few moments before smiling barn-yards, were now as bare of 
poultry as your hand. I had issued an order against capturing 
anything on shore, but the difficulty was to find out where the 
shore was, as apparently the Cypress Bayou ran right through the 
middle of a stable-yard. 

I informed the sailors that loot naturally belonged to the army, 
but that prize in the shape of cotton marked " C. S. A." belonged 
to them. A mile from the entrance to the bayou there were two 
piles of cotton containing six thousand bales, and placed opposite 
each other on the banks of the stream in which we were then just 
holding our way against its two-knot current. 

Suddenly I saw two men rush up from each side of the bayou 
and apply a lighted pine-knot to each pile. *' What fools these 
mortals be ! " I said to an ofl&cer, " but I suppose those men have a 
right to burn their own cotton, especially as we have no way of pre- 
venting them." 

"I can send a howitzer-shell at them, sir," he said, "and drive 
them away." 

" No," I replied, '' that might kill them, and we don't want to 
do that except in battle." 

So the two men went on with their work of destruction. They 
applied the torches to every part of the two piles, and in twenty 
minutes there was a column of smoke ascending to the skies, and the 
passage between the piles became very much obscured. 

" How long will it take that cotton to burn up ? " I inquired 
of a darkey who was asking permission to come on board. 

'•Two day, Massa," the negro answered ; "sometime free." 

By this time all the outside of the cotton was blazing. " Ring 
the bell to go ahead fast," I ordered, "and tell those astern to fol- 
low after me." I was on board the Cincinnati. "Go ahead fast 
the tug and mortar-boat," and away we all went, darting throught 
between the burning bales. 



150 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

All the ports were shut in and the crews called to fire quarters, 
standing ready with fire-buckets to meet the enemy's fire. 

It reminded me a little of the fire-raft at Fort Jackson, but we 
soon got used to them. 

The fellows on the tug wet themselves and boat all over very 
thoroughly, and as they darted through, being below the bank, 
they did not suffer much ; but the paint was blistered on the boat, 
and the fire scorched the men. 

Myself, captain, and wheelman were the only ones on deck when 
the Cincinnati passed through, but the heat was so intense that I 
had to jump inside a small house on deck covered -with, iron, the 
captain following me. The helmsman covered himself up with an 
old flag that lay in the wheel-house. The hose was pointed up the 
hatch to the upper deck and everything drenched with water, but 
it did not render the heat less intolerable. 

The boats escaped with some blistering. The smoke was even 
worse than the heat, and I have often since imagined how a brave 
fireman feels when he is looking through a burning house in search 
of helpless people. 

Just after we passed through the fire there was a dreadful crash, 
which some thought was an earthquake. We had run into and 
quite through a span of bridge about fifty feet long, and demolished 
the whole fabric, having failed to see it in the smoke. 

There was a yell among the negroes on the bank, who looked on 
with amazement at the doings of "Mas' Linkum's gun-boats." 

'' What dey gwine ter do nex' ? " said an old patriarch. 

The next we did was to stop and breathe after getting through 
that smoke, and look back and regret the loss of the cotton. The 
worst thing to be done with cotton is to burn it, especially when it 
is not your own. 

Here was the Confederate Government complaining of Northern 
oppression, and yet their own agents were riding around on horse- 
back, setting fire to the people's cotton to keep it from falling into 
our hands, while, if they had let it alone, it would not have been 
troubled by us, except by giving a receipt for it, and, when the war 
was over, the owners would have netted more than the full value of 
their property. 

This was one of the worst cases of vandalism I had yet seen. 

When all the vessels had passed through the flame and smoke 
we hauled up at a small collection of houses, where the negro women 
were running around screaming and driving in the pigs and poultry. 



A SURLY PLANTATION OVERSEER. 151 

A burly overseer, weighing over two liundred pounds, sat at the 
door of a log-hut with a pipe in his mouth. He was a white man, 
half bull-dog, half blood-hound, and his face expressed everything 
that was bad in human nature, but he smoked away as if nothing 
was the matter — as Nero fiddled while Eome was burning. 

He looked on us with perfect indifference ; our presence didn't 
seem to disturb him at all. Doubtless he felt quite secure ; that we 
didn't want anything so bad as he was. 

I called to him, and he came down in his shirt-sleeves, bare- 
headed, and looked stolidly at me as if to say, " Well, what do you 
want ? " 

" Why did those fools set fire to that cotton ? " I inquired. 

** Because they didn't want you fools to have it," he replied. 
" It's ourn, and I guess things ain't come to such a pass that we 
can't do as we please with our own." 

" Tell them we won't trouble it," I said ; " it is wicked to see 
such material going off like smoke." 

In five minutes he had a dozen negroes at his side, and they were 
all sent up the bayou on a full run to stop the burning of cotton. 
He believed our word, and we did not disappoint him. 

"And who are you ?" I inquired of the man. 

"I am in charge of this plantation," he replied; "this is the 
mother of my children" — pointing to a fat, thick-lipped negress 
who stood, with her bosom all bare and arms a-kimbo, about ten 
yards away — " and these fine fellows are my children," he contin- 
ued, pointing to some light-colored boys who had followed him 
down. 

" I suppose you are Union, of course ? You all are so when it 
suits you," I said. 

"No, by G , I'm not, and never will be; and as to the 

others, I know nothing about them. Find out for yourself. I'm 
for Jeff Davis first, last, and all the time. Do you want any more 
of me?" he inquired, "for I am not a loquacious man at any 
time." 

"JSTo, I want nothing more with you," I replied; "but I am 
going to steam into that bridge of yours across the stream and knock 
it down. Is it strongly built ? " 

"You may knock it down and be d — d," he said. "It don't 
belong to me ; and, if you want to find out how strong it is, pitch 
into it. You'll find a hard nut to crack; it ain't made of 
candy." 



152 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

" You are a Yankee by birth, are you not ? " I asked. 

** Yes, d — n it, I am," be replied ; ''that's no reason I should 
like the institution. I cut it long ago," and he turned on his heel 
and walked off. 

" King ' Go ahead fast,' " I said to the captain ; " wc will let that 
fellow see what bridge-smashers we are." 

In three minutes we were going four knots through the water, 
and in one more we went smashing through the bridge as if it was 
paper. I looked toward the overseer to see how he would take it, 
but he did not even turn his head as he sat at his door smoking. 

This man was but one remove from a brute, but there were 
hundreds more like him. 

We came to one more bridge; down it went like nine-pins, and 
we steamed slowly on, forcing our way through small, lithe willows 
that seemed to hold us in a grip of iron. This lasted for an hour, 
during which we made but half a mile. 

But that was the last of the willows for a time. Had they con- 
tinued, we would have been obliged to give it up. The small sprouts, 
no larger than my little finger, caught in the rough plates of the 
overhang and held us as the threads of the Lilliputians held Gulli- 
ver. 

Now we came to extensive woods again on either side, the large 
trees towering in the air, while underneath they looked as if their 
lower branches had been trimmed to give them a uniform appear- 
ance ; but they had only been trimmed by the hand of Nature, 
whose fair impression fell on all about us. Man only marred the 
prospect there. 

The hanTcs of the bayou were high with large, overhanging trees 
upon them, and the long branches of the latter stretched out into 
the stream, endangering our pipes and boats. The channel was here 
exactly the width of the ironclads— forty-two feet— and we had to 
cut our way with the overhang through the soft soil and the twin- 
ing roots. It was hard and slow work. The brutal overseer felt 
quite sure that we would be bagged before night. He didn't know 
that Sherman was right behind us with an army, and an army, too, 
that was no respecter of ducks, chickens, pigs, or turkeys, for they 
used to say of one particular regiment in Sherman's corps that it 
could catch, scrape, and skin a hog without a soldier leaving tlie 
ranks. I was in hopes they would pay the apostate Yankee a visit, 
if only to teach him good manners. 

The gun-boats, at this stage of the cruise, were following each 



SOME IDEA OF CYPRESS BAYOU. 153 

other about a quarter of a mile apart. The only idea I can give of 
Cypress Bayou is to fahe a string up and down a j)aper tvro hundred 
or more times. "We did nothing but turn upon our course about 
every twenty minutes. At one time the vessels would all be steam- 
ing on different courses. One would be standing north, another 
south, another east, and yet another west through the woods. One 
minute an ironclad would apparently be leading ahead, and the 
next minute would as apparently be steering the other way. The 
tugs and mortar-boats seemed to be mixed up in the most marvel- 
ous manner. 

There was a fair road on the right of the bayou, along which 
Sherman's troops would have to march, and all that was required to 
make the situation look confusing and confounding was to have the 
soldiers marching beside the gun-boats. 

I was in the leading vessel, and necessarily had to clear the way 
for the others. The bayou was full of logs that had been there for 
years. They had grown soggy and heavy, and sometimes one end, 
being heavier than the other, would sink to the bottom, while the 
other end would remain pointing upward, j^resenting the appear- 
ance of chevaux-de-frise, over which we could no more pass than 
we could fly. We had to have working parties in the road with 
tackles and hook-ropes to haul these logs out on the banks before 
we could pass on. 

Again, we would come to a " Eed River raft" that had been im- 
bedded in the mud for ages. All these had to be torn asunder and 
hauled out with a labor that no one who had not tried it could con- 
ceive of. 

Then, again, we would get jammed between two large, over- 
hanging trees. We could not ram them down as we did in the 
woods, with plenty of "sea room" around us. We had to chop 
away the sides of the trees with axes. 

A great many of these large trees had decayed branches, and 
when the heavy ironclad would touch the trunk of one (though 
going only at the rate of half a mile an hour, which was the most 
we could make at any time in the ditch), the shock would be so 
great, and the resultant vibration of the tree so violent, that the 
branches would come crashing on deck, smashing the boats and sky- 
lights and all the frame- work that they reached. 

An hour after entering the very narrow part of the ditch, where 
we really had not a foot to spare, we had parted with everything 
like a boat, and cut them away as useless appendages. Indeed, they 



154 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

were of no use to us, and only in the way. When we got rid of 
them we got along better. 

The vessels behind learned a good deal from our experience, and 
lowered their boats and towed them astern, though that did not re- 
lieve them entirely. 

Sometimes we would have to pass a dead tree, with its weird- 
looking branches threatening us with destruction in case we should 
handle it too roughly. "We received quantities of dead branches, 
and we never knocked a dead tree without suffering terrible dam- 



No wonder the overseer took our going on so coolly. He ex- 
pected that we would get jammed before we went a mile. 

That day, by sunset, we had made eight miles, which was a large 
day's work, considering all the impediments, but when night came 
— which it did early in the deep wood — we had to tie up to the 
bank, set watches, and wait until daylight, until which time we 
hoped to give our men to rest. 

But, the reader will ask, what was the Confederacy doing all 
this while ? They may imagine that Pemberton didn't know any- 
thing about this romantic pirouetting through the woods of " Mas' 
Linkum's gun-boats." 

Not a bit of it ; he knew all about it. He had sent telegrams, 
no doubt, to Eichmond, announcing the fact that the Union navy 
was making a cruise through the woods and over the farms in the 
Yazoo country, and would likely, in course of time, reach Eich- 
mond itself in that way. He was not afraid of Vicksburg — that 
never struck him — and he didn't know (or I thought he didn't) 
that I had two mortar-boats with which I expected to bombard 
Vicksburg in the rear ! 

No doubt the Confederate Cabinet chuckled when they were in- 
formed that the authorities at Vicksburg would, in the course of a 
day or two, bag the whole American navy in the western waters, 
though, strange to say, that idea never entered my head. 

We stopped that evening about seven o'clock, and about an hour 
later we heard the chopping of wood in the forest. We had seen 
no one along the stream since we had left that burly overseer. The 
truthful and intelligent contrabands, in whom I was wont to repose 
confidence, were nowhere to be seen, whereat I marveled much, 
knowing their sociable disposition and the lofty aspirations they 
felt with regard to the liberty of their race. 

They were so faithful in adherence to their protectors that they 



TREES FELLED TO CLOSE THE STREAM AGAINST US. 155 

would come in in crowds with wild inventions of moves on the part 
of the enemy if they could not find something real to tell. 

I missed these ingenious creatures, and wondered what had be- 
come of them. It was true we were hard to get at in this swamp, 
though there was a road on one side and a levee on the other ; the 
southern side was an in,terminable waste of water and wood. 

I was always of an inquiring mind, and determined to find out 
what the wood-chopping meant. It seemed to me that there were 
a dozen axes at work. 

I put a twelve-pound boat-howitzer on the tug, and sent her 
ahead to see what was going on. In twenty minutes I heard the 
report of the howitzer, and then another, and another. Then a 
steam whistle was blown from the tug, and all was silent. No more 
axes heard cutting wood. 

In a very short time the tug was heard returning, snorting as if 
carrying a heavy pressure of steam, and every now and then giving 
some playful screams with the whistle. The forest fairly reverber- 
ated with the sound. 

The officer in charge reported that he had suddenly come upon 
a large body of negroes, under the charge of some white men carry- 
ing lanterns, cutting trees on the banks of the stream we were in ; 
that they had felled a tree three feet in diameter, and this had 
fallen right across the bayou, closing the stream completely against 
our advance. 

There was the secret of our not meeting the truthful contraband. 
He was employed in hemming us in. He was too accustomed to 
implicit obedience to his master to refuse to do anything imposed 
upon him. He was too ignorant to have formed any opinions on 
the subject of doing something to deserve liberty. Oppression was 
second nature to him, obedience one of Heaven's first laws, and he 
helped to chop down those trees with as much glee as children would 
feel at setting fire to a hay-stack. 

There was but one thing to do : Move ahead and clear the chan- 
nel of a tree across it, three feet in diameter, spreading its branches 
over an area of seventy by one hundred and fifty feet. 

We worked ahead slowly with men in advance on the bank, with 
lanterns to show what dangers there were. We arrived at the fallen 
tree in less than an hour, and made arrangements while under way 
for removing it. 

It was not a matter of great labor. Two large snatch-blocks 
were strapped to standing trees as leaders. The largest hawser was 



156 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

passed tlirough the snatcli-blocks, one end made fast to the fallen 
tree, and the other end taken to a steamer. "Back the ironclad 
hard," and the obstruction began to move slowly over the water. 
In less than ten minutes it was landed clear across the road, so that 
Sherman's soldiers wouldn't have to march around it. 

A second application of this improvised ''power gear," and the 
route was again free. 

The Confederates didn't think of all that when they tried to bag 
us in that way. They forgot the ingenuity of American seamen. 

"Now," I said to the officer in charge of the tug, "go ahead 
with all the speed you have, and see that no more trees are cut down 
to-night ; and, though I shall be sorry to harm that faithful friend 
and brother, the contraband, if he continues to chop at any one's 
dictation you must give him shrapnel," and off the tug started. 

We could already hear the faint strokes of the axes in advance 
of us, and no doubt the managers, having cut one tree down and 
supposing that they had blocked the game on us for the night, and 
not knowing our facilities for removing trees, had, as soon as they 
imagined themselves out of reach of the howitzer, set to work at 
cutting other trees, with the intention that we should never see the 
Sunflower, nor get in the rear of Vicksburg. The Confederates 
were energetic, and it was wonderful how soon they got their ma- 
chinery to work. 

Some twenty minutes after the tug left us we heard the howitzer 
firing rapidly, and then all was quiet, excepting three steam whistles, 
which meant all 7velL 

At one o'clock that night the tug's small boat returned to us 
with the report that the choppers had commenced cutting about 
twenty of the largest trees, but that none had been completely felled ; 
that they had captured two truthful contrabands, who informed 
them that the parties directing the cutting of trees were officers 
from Vicksburg ; that they had pressed three hundred negroes into 
the work and made them use their axes with pistols to their heads, 
and gave them plenty of whisky. 

"The officers are from Vicksburg !" I said ; "and we thought 
ourselves so smart ! No doubt they started before we did, and got 
their instructions from Eichmond. What next ? " 

" The officer" (Lieutenant Murphy) " says, sir, he will continue 
on all night, and thinks no more trees will be cut down at present." 

I didn't care about the trees. I was just then thinking how I 
would feel if they should block up the head of the pass with cotton 



VERMIN SHAKEN OUT OF TREES ON OUR DECK. 157 

bales and earth, and leave me and mine sticking in the mud at the 
bottom of the bayou. 

"What a time, I thought, Sherman would have digging us out — 
but I was sure he wouldn't mind doing it. 

Nevertheless, we put out guards along the road, and slept as 
comfortably as if we had been at the Fifth Avenue Hotel. Some- 
how or other I didn't think the Confederacy could bag me as long 
as I had Sherman in company with his stalwart fellows — half sailor, 
half soldier, with a touch of the snapping turtle. 

At daylight next morning we moved ahead, and all that day 
toiled as men never toiled before. Our vessels looked like wrecks, 
and there was scarcely a whole boat left in the fleet. Evening found 
us fourteen miles ahead, but where was Sherman ? There was only 
one road, so he couldn't have taken the wrong one. 

I had been rather precipitate in rushing ahead with the fleet, 
though I could not have been of any help to Sherman, but I would 
have had the services of the army to stop the tree-cutting, which I 
now had to do myself by sending out a detachment of two hundred 
men from the vessels. These men were ordered to march all night 
along the road while the tug covered them with her howitzer. 

It were vain to tell all the hardships of the third day. The 
plot seemed to thicken as we advanced, and old logs, small Eed 
Kiver rafts, and rotten trees overhanging the banks, seemed to 
accumulate. 

The dead trees were full of vermin of all sorts. Insects of every 
kind and shape, such as are seen only in Southern climes, infested 
these trees. Eats and mice, driven from the fields by the high 
water, had taken up their abode in the hollow trunks and rotten 
branches. Snakes of every kind and description had followed the 
rats and mice to these old arks of safety. These innocent creatures 
knew nothing of the insecurity of their adopted homes in presence 
of the butting ironclads. Small wonder. Who would have dreamed 
of such things in these regions ? 

A canoe might have been seen, perhaps, of late years winding 
its way down these tortuous channels of a moonlight night, 
manned by a couple of dissipated darkies out on a coon-hunt, but 
navigation by anything larger in these waters was unknown. 

Sometimes, when we would strike against one of these trees, a 
multitude of vermin would be shaken out on the deck — among 
them rats, mice, cockroaches, snakes, and lizards, which would be 
swept overboard by the sailors standing ready with their brooms. 



158 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

Once an old coon landed on deck, with the life half knocked out of 
him, but he came to in a short time and fought his way on shore. 
Even the coons were prejudiced against us, and refused to be com- 
forted on board, though I am sorry to say we found more Union 
feeling among the bugs of all kinds, which took kindly to the iron- 
clads, and would have remained with us indefinitely had they been 
permitted to do so. 

Three days' hard work and no hope of seeing the Sunflower 
Eiver ! We had made one capture. Lieutenant Murphy had gone 
ahead and taken possession of an Indian mound as old as the 
deluge ; no one remembered its age. 

Why had not the Confederates taken possession of the place and 
fortified it ? It must have been because they thought it worthless. 
They showed themselves to be poor judges in such matters. But 
Lieutenant Murphy, who had been following engineering for some 
years before the war, saw some strong point in this mound (which 
I did not), and urged me to fortify it. At length he persuaded me 
to let him have four boat guns to place on the top of it. " It would 
be," he said, "a point cPappui for Sherman's troops to assemble 
about in case they were attacked ! " 

"Where are the attacking forces to come from ?" I inquired. 

*' Can't tell, sir," said Murphy, *'but I think it a strong point." 

" Go ahead, then, and fortify it," I replied ; " it will keep you 
employed." 

We had arrived nearly at the head of the pass, or bayou, to what 
was called the Rolling Fork, and, after all our toil and trouble, 
did hope to see the road clear to Vicksburg in the rear. 

There was a small collection of houses at the point where we 
had stopped, and all the contrabands in the country were assembled 
there. The tree-cutters had disappeared and liberated from duty 
all those who had been pressed into service, but took all the axes 
away with them. The negroes were jubilant over being able to 
join "Mass' Linkum's gun-boats." 

We could readily have dispensed with their services. They 
were only an encumbrance to us. They could give us no informa- 
tion. They had never been taught to think or know anything but 
to hoe and pick cotton. That's all they were wanted for. 

We had steamed, or rather bumped, seventy-five miles, and had 
only six hundred yards to go before getting into the Eolling Fork, 
where all would be plain sailing ; but I waited for all the vessels to 
come up to repair damages, and start together. 



IRONCLADS STUCK FAST AMONG WILLOWS. I59 

I noticed right at the head of the pass a large green patch ex- 
tending all the way across. It looked like the green scum on 
ponds. 

"What is that ?" I asked of one of the truthful contrabands. 
" It's nuffin but willers, sah/'' he replied. " When de waters 
out ob de bayou — which it mos' allers is — den we cuts de willers to 
make baskits wid. You kin go troo dat like a eel." 

I thought I would try it while the vessels were "coming into 
port." I sent the tug on ahead with the mortar-boat, and followed 
on after. 

The tug went into it about thirty yards, began to go slower and 
slower, and finally stuck so fast that she could move neither ahead 
nor astern. I hailed her and told them that I would come along 
and push them through. We started with a full head of steam, 
and did not even reach the tug. The little withes caught in the 
rough iron ends of the overhang and held us as if in a vise. I tried 
to back out, but 'twas no use. We could not move an inch, no 
matter how much steam we put on. Ah, I thought, this is only a 
temporary delay. 

We got large hooks out and led the hook-ropes aft, and tried 
to break off the lithe twigs, but it was no use ; we could not move. 
We got saws, knives, cutlasses, and chisels over the side, with the 
men handling them sitting on planks, and cut them off, steamed 
ahead, and only moved three feet. Other withes sprang up from 
under the water and took a fresher grip on us, so we were worse off 
than ever. 

Just as well, I thought, that Murphy seized upon that mound. 
It will be three or four days before we can get through here. He 
can hold it as a look-out, and if any sharp-shooters should appear 
he can fire on them. 

Just then a rebel steamer was reported coming up the Eolling 
Fork and landing about four miles below. We will catch that 
fellow after dark, I thought. He has come up here after stores. 

This was the Vicksburg granary — full of everything in the way 
of grain, cattle, and poultry. " Hog and hominy " was abundant. 

I went at it again, and worked hard for over four hours, but 
not one foot did I gain with that ironclad. I wished ironclads were 
in Jericho. 

While I was pondering what to do, and the negroes were look- 
ing on in admiration upon the ingenious devices we put into play 
to get rid of those willow fastenings, wondering to myself if the 



160 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

Confederacy had planted these willows on purpose to keep me out 
of the Sunflower Eiver, I heard the faint reports of two guns, and 
directly after the shrill shriek of rifle-shot, which came from direc- 
tions at right angles to each other. The shells burst oyer the 
Indian mound where Lieutenant Murphy was studying the strategy 
of war. They were Whitworth shells. I knew the sound too well 
to he mistaken. I had heard them before. There were two six- 
gun batteries with a cross-fire upon us. 

**Now's your chance, Murphy," said I to myself, "to show 
some good practice. You did well in selecting that mound." 

I forgot for a moment that we had only four twelve-pounder 
smooth-bores there, with a range of about twelve hundred yards. 

The two field batteries were keeping up a rapid fire, and fifteen 
shells a minute were coming from the enemy's spitfires and burst- 
ing in all directions, throwing the pieces of iron and the bullets of 
the shrapnel down on the decks of the ironclads, where they rattled 
like hail. 

Here was a dilemma. We could not use our large guns ; they 
were away below the banks, and lying so close to it that we could 
not get elevation enough to fire over. 

Suddenly I saw the sides of the mound crowded with officers 
and men. They were tumbling down as best they could ; the guns 
were tumbled down ahead of them ; there was a regular stampede. 
Murphy hadn't found the top of the mound a fine strategic point, 
and that was the reason why the Confederates had not adopted it. 

The fire from the enemy's Whitworths was incessant, and 
every one was running to cover. 

As the retreaters passed me I shouted to them to stop. The 
majority obeyed, but a number kept on. They had left their guns 
on the road. 

I made those who stopped bring the guns alongside my vessel. 
''You shall have them no more," I said ; "you don't know how to 
take care of them." 

The shells from the enemy came so rapidly that it became an- 
noying, so I ordered the mortars manned, measured the distance 
by the sound— 2,800 yards on one range, and 2,600 on the other— 
and opened fire. 

The shells seemed to be well timed ; they fell in the midst of 
the artillerists, and the two batteries ceased by mutual consent, 
while we not only kept up the fire there, but all through the woods 
where these parties were located. 



MR. TUB, THE TELEGRAM-WIRE. 161 

This little diversion being over, I set to work again to overcome 
the willows. 

"What a dodge this was of the Confederacy," I said to the 
captain, "to plant these willows instead of a fort ! "We can take 
their forts, but we can't, I fear, take their willows." 

I stepped out to the bank (where the negroes had assembled 
again as soon as the sliooting was over) to see if I could learn any- 
thing about willows from these innocent people. 

All I could find out from them was that " dey was mo' tougher'n 
ropes." 

"Why don't Sherman come on ?" I said aloud to myself. "I'd 
give ten dollars to get a telegram to him." 

" I'm a telegram-wire, Massa," said a stubby-looking negi-o, com- 
ing up to me. " I'll take him for half a dollar, sah ; I'm de county 
telegraph, sah. I does all dat bizness." 

" Where's your office. Sambo ? " I inquired. 

" My name ain't Sambo, sah. My name's Tub, an' I run yer 
line fer yer fer half a dollar." 

"Do you know where to find General Sherman ?" I said. 

" No, sah, I don' know him. Ef he's in Vicksburg, I kin find him." 

" Can you carry a note for me without betraying it to the Con- 
federates ? " 

" I don't understan' one of dem words, sah, but I'll take a note 
to Kingdom Kum if yer pay me half a dollar." 

Then I told him who General Sherman was and where to find 
him. " Go along the road," I said, "and you can't miss him." 

" I know nuff better 'an dat manner when I carry telegraph, 
sah. I don't go de road ; I takes de ditches. It's nuff shorter an' 
mo' safer. On de lef ban' comin' up dars all marsh an' wata, an' 
a kenoe kin allers git 'long dar. I'll go de way we nigs takes when 
we go chicken huntin'." 

"Where will you carry the dispatch ? " I inquired. 

" In my calabash-kiver, Massa," he answered, pointing to his 
thick, woolly head. 

I wrote the dispatch and handed it to him. He stowed it away 
in a pocket in his hair, where it was as safe as a telegram traveling 
on a wire. I wrote : 

" Dear Sherman : Hurry up, for Heaven's sake. I never knew 
how helpless an ironclad could be steaming around through the 
woods without an army to back her." 
11 



162 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

I had no sooner got off the telegraph (as he called himself) than 
another steamer was reported as landing at the same place as the 
one which brought up the artillery. 

Upon examining her with the glass, it could be seen that she 
was full of troops. Those fellows would not have landed there if 
they had not known that we were blockaded. 

The stream, for some reason, began to run rapidly, and large 
logs began to come in from the Eolling Fork and pile up on the out- 
side of the willows, making an effectual barricade. It was the 
water rushing down through the cut-off and creeks from the open- 
ing into the '' Old Yazoo Pass "of the Mississippi River. What 
was doing good to those fellows was bad for us. I wondered if they 
had found the Confederacy as smart as we had. I had no doubt 
of it. 

Just then the two rifle batteries of the enemy opened again 
viciously from other positions, and it was reported to me that two 
thousand men had landed and were marching to get into our rear. 
Pleasant, that ! 

I had sent the rear tug back to see if anything could be heard 
of General Sherman coming on. It returned with the information 
that ten miles in our rear the enemy were cutting down the largest 
trees across the pass, that eight had been felled within a short dis- 
tance of each other, and the channel behind us was effectually 
blocked. I did not mind this so much, as I knew that Sherman 
was not far off. 

I found another telegraph man among the negroes, and sent 
him off to Sherman. He pursued the same method as his prede- 
cessor, but was captured by the enemy. 

We kept our mortars hard at work, but the artillery shifted 
position every three minutes, and were sending among us about 
twenty shells a minute. The men had to keep between decks. 

We were in the narrowest part of the pass ; it was the same 
width as the ironclads. We fitted in nicely— too nicely ! 

The Confederates had completely checkmated us. Every knight 
and pawn and castle was in check, and my vessel, the Cincinnati, 
was checkmated by the willows ! 

There was nothing easier than for two thousand men to charge 
on us from the bank and carry us by boarding. Only the enemy 
didn't know the fix we were in. They didn't know how it was that 
we could fire those thirteen-inch shell, that would burst now and 
then at the root of a great tree and throw it into the air. They 



A DOSE OF NINE-INCH SHRAPNEL. 163 

didn't know that we had only four smooth-bore howitzers free to 
work, that our heavy guns were useless, below the bank. So much 
for their not being properly posted. But I was quite satisfied that 
they would know all this before Sherman came up. 

We drove the artillery away about four o'clock in the afternoon. 
Then I sent a hawser to the tug, and another to the ironclad astern 
of me, while the latter made fast to another ironclad. Then we all 
backed together and, after an hour's hard pull, we slipped off the 
willows into soft water. Laus Deo ! 

Then went forth the orders to unship the rudders and let the 
vessels drift down stern foremost, and away we all went together 
with a four-knot current taking us — bumping badly — down at the 
rate of two miles an hour — which was twice as fast as we came up. 
The enemy did not discover our retreat for some minutes, but 
when they did they made a rush for the Indian mound and took 
possession of it. 

After all, Murphy was right ; it was a strategic point ! But only 
with the Whitworth rifles, not with smooth-bores. 

I suppose we passed that fort twenty times in following the 
crooked pass, and the enemy were pouring it into us all the time, 
but they didn't do much harm. 

They were evidently greenhorns, and failed to understand that 
we were iron-clad and didn't mind bursting shell. If they had fired 
solid shot, they might have hurt us. 

I cared very much more about that infantry than I did about 
the artillery. As our bow guns were bearing astern now and up 
the bayou, we could each of us give the enemy now and then, at 
the turns, a dose of nine-inch shrapnel, giving the same attention 
to their infantry, which we could see were marching in the direc- 
tion we were pursuing. But our broadside guns were useless. 

The artillery kept up their fire for about two hours, and then I 
think they began to find out that our bow guns were bearing and 
doing them some injury. 

At dark we tied up at a point where we had about four feet of 
water between us and the bank, greased the ironsides, and, elevat- 
ing the lower-deck guns after loading them with grape, we made 
the best of our position. I landed five hundred men with howitzers 
after dark, and placed them in position to enfilade any attacking 
party. Scouts were also thrown out to see if some of the enemy 
could be picked up, and the remainder of the crews slept on their 
arms at quarters. So passed the night ; but Sherman's whereabouts 



164 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

"were a continual source of conjecture to me. I was quite sure the 
Confederates had not captured liim. 

About ten o'clock my scouts brought in four prisoners — two 
oflBcers and two sergeants — and conducted them, at my direction, 
into the cabin. 

The commanding officer was quite a youngster, and when 
brought in was as stiff as a poker. 

He walked up to me and, presenting his sword, said, *' There, 
sir, you will likely recognize that ; it is the sword of one of your 
officers who skedaddled off that Indian mound. We picked up 
two of them, and captured caps and shoes enough to fit out a 
regiment. Why, your fellows left a lot of ammunition behind 
them." 

"Yes," I said, "but you look tired ; won't you sit down and 
take some supper with me ? I have a cold supper and wine on the 
table." 

"1 don't care if I do," he answered, *'and I have the less com- 
punction in taking it as it belongs to us anyhow. In two hours 
you will be surrounded and bagged. You can't escape. How in 
the devil's name you ever got here is a wonder to me." 

"1 should hke nothing better," I said, "than for your friends 
to try that kind of business ; they would learn something. But sit 
down, gentlemen, and eat." 

They did sit down, and ate with an appetite I never saw equaled. 

" We have had nothing to eat or drink since noon," said the 
youngster ; "we could eat our grandmothers and drink up Niagara 
Falls." 

"Drink some wine," I said, and I shoved over the sherry to 
them. Their throats were dry as powder-horns. "Help your- 
selves," I said ; " don't stand on ceremony. You know it will all 
be yours when you surround us, and you had better get your share 
before the other fellows arrive." 

" Won't you drink with us ? " asked the youngster. 

"Yes," I said, " with pleasure. Tell me how Colonel Higgins 
is." 

"He's here," replied the youngster, "and came along on pur- 
pose to catch you. He says he'd give ten thousand dollars to do 
that." 

" Here's his health," I said, and they all drank bumpers to Hig- 
gins. 

" I can't drink with you any more now. I have to look out 



CONFEDERATE PRISONERS LIVELY AND LOQUACIOUS. 165 

for these vessels ; but, as you are prisoners, and have no respon- 
sibility, you may empty the bottle if you like, and there are the 
cigars. " 

"You're a trump, and no mistake!" said the youngster; "I 
would like to capture you myself." 

''Well, I promise you that if I surrender to any one it will be 
to you." 

The quartette drank until they became very lively and loqua- 
cious, and boastful of what they were going to do. 

" How far off are your troops ? " I inquired. 

" About four miles," the leader answered. " They will bag you 
at daylight." 

"That," said I, "is about a good distance. Sherman will be 
on them about three o'clock, and capture the whole of them." 

" Sherman ! " he exclaimed ; " what has he to do with it ? " 

"Only," said I, "that he is at this moment surrounding your 
troops with ten thousand men." 

"Holy Moses!" he cried, "we're sold. We didn't know any- 
thing about any troops. We thought it was something like that 
Yazoo Eiver affair — a gun-boat excursion, and we liked to have 
bagged the7n. They're wandering around in the ditches yet." 

Having obtained all the information I desired, I went on deck, 
put a sentry over the cabin-door, had the stern-ports closed, and 
gave orders to call me at two o'clock. 

Then the shore parties were called on board, and we went on 
the back track for three miles. We either threw the enemy off the 
scent, or the captured officer deceived me about the contemplated 
attack. We heard nothing of them, and determined to go on down 
again. 

At the first start the leading vessel sunk the coal-barge, and there 
we were blocked and unable to move. It took hours to remove the 
coal and spread it out on the bottom. 

In the midst of the work we were attacked by the enemy's artil- 
lery in the rear. 

I was in the rear ironclad — bows up stream ; we steamed up after 
the artillery, got within range, and with the bow guns scattered them 
like chaff. One of their guns was knocked over, and some of their 
men and cattle were hurt, but they were getting less timid and were 
gradually closing around the ironclads. 

The stream cleared of the coal, we bumped along, stern fore- 
most, down stream, knocking down dead branches from the trees 



166 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

upon our decks, with the usual accompaniment of yermin, until we 
thought the limit of ill-luck had been reached by the vessels ; but 
we looked worse before we got through. 

Sharp-shooters made their appearance in the morning. About 
sixty of them surrounded us. First it was like an occasional drop 
of rain. Then it was pat, pat against the iron hull all the time. 
The smoke-stacks seemed to be favorite marks to fire at. They no 
doubt took it for the captain, or the great motive power which kept 
us a-going. 

The sharp-shooters were not, as a rule, the brightest I have seen, 
but then they had bomb-shells falling among them, and now and 
then a tree, behind which they were, would suddenly be lifted out 
of the ground or canted sideways. The bomb-shells were demoral- 
izing. 

I adopted a new plan. I turned all the guns into mortars by 
firing them at the greatest elevation (to clear the banks), and with 
very low charges. With short time-fuses and a range of about six 
hundred yards this had a good effect, and the sharp-shooters kept 
a long way off. 

The smoke-stacks still attracted considerable attention from 
them, though it was true they had wounded some of our people. 

Suddenly the Louisville, Captain Owen, brought up all stand- 
ing. There were eight large trees cut down ahead of us — four from 
either bank, and they seemed to be so interlaced that it was appar- 
ently impossible to remove them. 

I sent out two hundred riflemen, and found that they were quite 
equal to the enemy. They drove them to a safe distance with the 
aid of the mortar fire. We had been firing heavily, great guns and 
mortars, for two days and nights, and thought Sherman must have 
heard us and been worried about us, but he had his troubles in get- 
ting along as well as others. He was doing his best to come to our 
assistance. It may seem ridiculous for ironclads to be wanting as- 
sistance from an army, but without that army they would likely 
have been in an ugly scrape. Its proximity alone, without its im- 
mediate aid, made us perfectly at ease. 

Under fire from the sharp-shooters we removed the eight trees 
in three hours, and started to push on, when we found those devils 
had sunk two large trees across the bayou under water, opa^ pinned 
them down. 

Another hour was spent in getting them up, and under renewed 
sharp-shooting. Every one was kept under cover except those it 



THE REBELS RUNNING FOUL OF SHERMAN'S ARMY. 167 

\7as absolutely necessary to expose. The captains and myself had to 
be on deck. 

TVe had no sooner got rid of these obstructions than we saw a 
large column of gray-uniformed soldiers swooping down on us from 
the woods. 

We opened mortar fire on them. They didn't mind it. On they 
came. They were no doubt determined to overwhelm us by num- 
bers, and close us in. Their artillery was coming on with them. 
Now would come the tug of war. We were jammed up against the 
bank, and the stream was so narrow where we were we could not 
increase our distance from it. Their sharp-shooters had now taken 
up positions behind trees about one hundred yards from us, and our 
men were firing rapidly at them as they opened on us. 

We had picked up a few cotton-bales along the road to make 
defenses, and good ones they were. 

The sharp-shooters were becoming very troublesome about this 
time, when suddenly I saw the advancing column begin to fall into 
confusion ; then they jumped behind trees, or fell into groups, and 
kept up a rapid fire of musketry. It looked as if they were fighting 
among themselves. But no ! they were retreating before some one. 
They had run foul of Sherman's army, which was steadily driving 
them back. 

The enemy were much surprised at encountering such a force. 
They never dreamed of meeting an army of five or six thousand 
men. I believe there were more. 

I made signal to beat the retreat. We would have no more 
trouble now. But, just as I had given the order, half a dozen rifle 
bullets came on board, and one of them struck the first lieutenant, 
Mr. Wells, in the head while I was talking to him and giving him 
an order. 

He fell, apparently dead, at my feet. I called an officer to 
remove him, and he fell dead, as I supposed, on the other's 
body. 

Then an old quartermaster came, dragging a large quarter-inch 
iron plate along the deck, and stuck it up against a hog post. 
"There, sir," he said, "stand behind that; they've fired at you 
long enough," and I was wise enough to take the old fellow's ad- 
vice. Poor old man ! he was shot in the hand as he turned to get 
behind his cotton-bale. 

But that was about the last of it. In the course of half an hour 
Colonel Smith, of the 8th Missouri, rode up and told me his troops 



168 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

were in pursuit of the enemy, who were in full retreat, and that we 
should hear no more of them. Again, Laus Deo ! 

They were a perplexing set of fellows, these rebels, and showed 
a great amount of courage, considering the prestige of "Mas' Lin- 
kum's gun-boats"; but then, it must be remiembered, they had 
caught the ironclads in a ditch in the woods. They could hardly 
be said to be afloat. 

The Confederates never dreamed of finding us where they did, 
or they would have come provided with torpedoes, and left us all 
imbedded in the mud of Black Bayou, where in future ages me- 
mentos of us would be found, and as much be known of us as was 
known of the Indian mound which we did not find such a fine 
strategic point. 

But the rebs missed their opportunity, though they rather had 
the laugh on us. We had the satisfaction of knowing, however, 
that none of us had lost our heads, though at one time matters 
looked rather embarrassing. 

I didn't notice a single officer on that expedition who, though 
exposed almost at all times to an unpleasant fire from sharp-shoot- 
ers, showed the least desire to avoid being shot, except when they 
hurried down so rapidly from the top of the Indian mound ! 

I am happy to say that the two officers, who fell at my feet ap- 
parently dead, both recovered. Theirs were only scalp wounds, 
owing to the enemy's bad powder. They were both volunteers, and 
did good service all through the Eebellion. 

" Old Tecumseh " came riding up, about half an hour after the 
last mishaps, on the old horse he had captured. He had received 
my county telegraph man, who explained to him pretty well how 
we were situated, and he had pushed on at night, by the aid of 
pine torches, through swamps and canebrakes, having undertaken 
a short cut recommended by the telegraph "operator," Mr. Tub, 
and found the traveling almost as bad as that experienced by the 
gun-boats. 

"Halloo, Porter," said the general when he saw me, "what did 
you get into such an ugly scrape for ? So much for you navy fel- 
lows getting out of your element ; better send for the soldiers al- 
ways. My boys will put you through. Here's your little nigger ; 
he came through all right, and I started at once. I had a hard 
time getting my troops over ; some of them marched over from the 
Mississippi. 

" This is the most infernal expedition I was ever on ; who in 



"ONE OF THE EPISODES OF WAR." 169 

thunder proposed such a mad scheme ? But I'm all ready to go on 
with you again. Your gun-boats are enough to scare the crows ; 
they look as if you had got a terrible hammering. However, I'll 
start at once, and go back with you ; my boys will clean those fel- 
lows out." 

*' Thank you, no," I said, " I have had enough of this adventure. 
It is too late now ; the enemy are forewarned, and all the energies 
of the Confederacy will be put forth to stop us ; they will fill all the 
rivers with torpedoes, and every hill will be turned into a heavy fort. 
They have the laugh on us this time, but we must put this down 
in the log-book as ' One of the Episodes of the War.' We will take 
Vicksburg yet, when it is more worth taking." 

*' You are satisfied, then," said Sherman, "with what my boys 
have done for you and can do ? " 

*' Yes, perfectly so," I answered, "and I never knew what help- 
less things ironclads could become when they got in a ditch and 
had no soldiers about. Won't you come aboard ? " 

"No," said he, " I must call in my men ; they could not catch 
those fellows if they chased them a week. Good-morning," and 
"Old Tecumseh" rode off on his ancient horse, with a rope bridle, 
accompanied only by one or two aids. 

After Sherman had departed I went down into the cabin to see 
my prisoners. The cabin was dark, and they were sitting there very 
quiet. 

"Well," I said to the young officer, "they have got us at last ; 
we are surrounded." 

"I knew they would bag you in the end," he replied ; " I felt 
that I was not going to be a prisoner yet. Well, sir, I will see that 
you are treated handsomely when you surrender." 

"Surrender to whom?" I said. "What are you talking 
about ? " 

"Didn't you say you were surrounded?" asked the perplexed 
youth. 

"Yes, I did," I replied, "but by Sherman's boys, and your fel- 
lows are skedaddling off as fast as they can go." 

" But not faster," he retorted, " than your fellows did down that 
Indian mound ! But I'm sorry not to be able to take you to Vicks- 
burg ; they'd treat you kindly there." With that he lay down and 
went to sleep. 

The game was up, and we bumped on homeward. The current 
was running very rapidly now, and the vessels were so helpless, 



170 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

dropping down stern foremost, that we could not protect them in 
any way. There was no knowing what part of them would strike 
the trees, or when huge dead branches would fall upon the decks. 
Every one remained between decks except those who were absolutely 
required above. There was still a chance of the enemy playing us 
a bad trick by blocking the head of the pass at Kolling Fork ; there 
was plenty of cotton along the road to do it with, if they only should 
think of it. Twelve hundred bales of cotton would turn the water 
off from our bayou, and in an hour after we would be on the bot- 
tom. With these unpleasant possibilities before me, I continued 
on homeward, and protracted my run until eight o'clock that night, 
when I came up with the main body of Sherman's army, which was 
encamped along on the road near the edge of the pass. 

Encamped ! I say. They had no tents, but a plentiful supply 
of fence-rails and bonfires of pine-knots. The whole route for miles 
was all in a blaze. 

It was great fun for the soldiers to see our dilapidated condition. 
** Halloo, Jack," one fellow would sing out, " how do you like play- 
ing mud-turtle ? Better stick to the briny." 

Another would say, ''You've been into dry dock, ain't you, and 
left your boats behind ? " 

"Don't go bushwhacking again. Jack," said another, "unless 
you have Sherman's boys close aboard of you ; you look as if your 
mothers didn't know you were out." 

" Where's all your sails and masts, Jack ? " said a tough-looking 
fellow who was sailor all over, though he had a soldier's uniform 
bent. 

"By the Widow Perkins," cried another, "if Johnny Keb hasn't 
taken their rudders away and sent them adrift ! " 

"Dry up," sang out an old forecastleman, "we wa'n't half as 
much used up as you was at Chickasaw Bayou ! " for which the old 
tar got three cheers. And so we ran the gauntlet until we reached 
the middle of the line. 

"Where's General Sherman ?" I inquired of some of the men. 

"He's in his tent, sir, waiting supper for you," answered one of 
them. 

Sherman's tent ! As if he would have a tent when his soldiers 
were lying about on fence-rails. 

But I came to his tent at last ; and, reader, I wish you could 
have seen it : it was three fence-rails set up in a triangle, but with 
only a small fly over the apex. It was raining hard at the time, and 



GENERAL SHERMAN'S BAGGAGE. 171 

Sherman was standing leaning against one of the rails, while a large 
bonfire was blazing brightly before his 'Hent " ! " You go on," he 
said; 'Til follow you to-morrow." We passed the compliments, 
and I ran on down past the lines and tied up, having run the gaunt- 
let of jokes that were showered on us by the soldiers. 

As we were getting made fast to the bank a canoe with two sol- 
diers in it tried to squeeze past us, but got stuck between us and the 
bank. They had a large pile of something in the bottom of the 
canoe covered over with a tarpaulin. 

" What have you got in those bags ? " I asked. 

" General Sherman's baggage, sir," said one ; " we've just 
brought it up from a transport." 

" General Sherman's baggage ! " I said ; "how long has it been 
since he took to carrying baggage ? Let me see what you've got 
there." 

*'Only baggage. Admiral, I assure you," said the speaker, "ex- 
cept some turkeys we picked up for you on the road up here," and 
he uncovered and displayed a pile of picked turkeys, geese, chickens, 
and sucking pigs. 

" Where's the baggage ? " I asked. 

" Why, sir," said the man, " there was so much of it, it's coming 
up on a tug — a large carpet-bag of it, sir," and he handed up one 
of each. 

The steward came, and took a turkey. "Pass General Sher- 
man's baggage," I said to the captain, and the sailors, taking hold 
of the painter, pulled the canoe through. 

Sherman had a hard set of boys on foraging, and they enjoyed 
this trip up the bayou, where they were in the very midst of the 
enemy's granary, and the people of Vicksburg no doubt sighed when 
the Yankees had found their way to the flesh-pots of the South. 
Most of them went without turkey, chicken, goose, or pig for many 
a day thereafter. 

There is not much more to be said about the Steele Bayou ex- 
pedition ; it didn't amount to much in effecting changes in the 
condition of Vicksburg, but we gained a lot of experience which 
would serve us in the future. We might, perhaps, have passed the 
willows if we had waited for the army, and got the soldiers to pull 
us through with ropes stretched along the bank ; but to have de- 
layed pushing astern would have insured the cutting down of five 
hundred trees by the enemy, and given them time to send to Vicks- 
burg for torpedoes and have them planted all along that ditch. 



172 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

I never saw a copy of the telegram Pemberton sent to Eichmond, 
but I imagine it was as follows : 

"The enemy made an excursion into our overflowed country 
and pirouetted around exceedingly. 'They buttered no parsnips.' 
Nature fought for us, as it always does for the Confederacy. The 
elements even helped us. The trees fought for us against the in- 
vaders of our soil, and the huge limbs fell down upon the enemy's 
decks and demolished them. The vermin swarmed over them, and 
they returned looking like picked chickens. 

*' They will never try it again. Vicksburg is safer than ever, 
and can never fall while hog and hominy last. 

'*We spit on their grandfathers' graves." 

I am quite satisfied that no one who went on that party desired 
to try it again. It was the hardest cruise that any Jack Tar ever 
made, and we all determined to cultivate the army more than we 
had done, in case we should go on a horse-marine excursion. 

It was with the greatest delight that we got out of that ditch 
and into the open woods again, with plenty of " sea room " and no 
lee shores. We took our time, went squirrel-hunting in the few 
boats we had left, and got a fine mess of turkey-buzzards out of 
the old oaks which surrounded us. 

In ten days more we anchored again in the mouth of the Yazoo 
Eiver and commenced to repair damages. 

I always carried a large steamer along with the squadron fitted 
as a carpenter's shop. She had a good supply of mechanics on 
board, with all that was necessary to repair a vessel after an action. 

In a week we were all built up again, were supplied with new 
boats from the store-ship, and, with our new coats of paint, no one 
would have supposed we had ever been away from a dock-yard. 

Some of the officers were talking of going again, and of the 
pleasure of the trip, as people who have gone in search of the North 
Pole, and have fared dreadfully, wish to try it once more. 

This was one of the many expedients adopted to bring about the 
reduction of Vicksburg, and, of all of them, never one more hazard- 
ous or more laborious. The whole siege was a series of patient 
labors, more wearing than active excitement in the field ; and while 
the enemy, on the one hand, displayed the greatest endurance and 
determination, we, on the other, exhibited the greatest patience 
under many disappointments. 

As President Lincoln truly remarked, " Vicksburg was the back- 
bone of the Eebellion and the key to the situation." And, as I said. 



FALSE REPORTS OF GENERAL GRANT'S ACTIONS. 173 

to bring about wliat we wanted was the best general, a large army 
and naval force, and — patience. 

Yet on no occasion during the war did the Government and peo- 
ple of the North display so much mpatience as they did about this 
siege. While General Grant was working with that imperturbable 
determination which distinguished him to try and get into the rear 
of the place, and his trusted generals were always ready to forward 
his views (as were myself and all my officers), some implacable foe, 
with a corps of reporters " at his beck and call," was inundating 
the country with false accounts of Grant's actions, which had no 
foundation whatever. They were the creation of a malignant brain, 
and were circulated from personal motives. 

The worst of it was, the Government was partly influenced by 
the same spirit, and, had it not been that President Lincoln was 
governed by feelings of justice, disaster might have befallen the 
Union. 

No ordinary general could have taken Vicksburg at all ; it re- 
quired a man full of military ability and knowledge, and one who 
knew whom to select from all the able men of the army — those who 
were best qualified to undertake the many vexatious problems that 
would arise during so important and difficult a siege. 

Some men would have given it up and said that it was not worth 
the loss of time and the waste of human life which would ensue ; 
some would have demanded half the resources of the Union ; but 
Grant never wavered in his determination, or in his hopes of suc- 
cess. 

He had a smaller force than the enemy, who, knowing the im- 
portance of the place, kept a garrison of forty thousand or more 
men inside the walls and forty thousand more just outside, under 
those they considered their ablest generals. 

When General Grant had tried every rational expedient, he re- 
sorted to the last and only true one, which not one general in a 
thousand would have approved, and which he followed in opposi- 
tion to the opinions of a majority of his commanders. 

When I look back, after the lapse of nearly a quarter of a cen- 
tury, and remember the libels I used to read in Eepublican papers 
against the men who were doing all they could to take Vicksburg, 
I lose all patience with them. Fortunately, newspaper writers are 
not always exponents of public opinion, and the sensational arti- 
cles, written on the scene of action to please the morbid taste of the 
public, did not have the anticipated effect, any more than the im- 



in INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

placable misrepresentations made by a vindictiye foe of all promi- 
nent officers had upon the President, when made to him personally. 

Nearly all the clever young officers who went on that expedition 
with me are dead and gone. One I know of is broken down and 
on the retired list. Such is the insatiable greed of the great mael- 
strom — war. 

All are swallowed up who are not made of iron and steel. 

Old Tecumseh and myself hold on, two tough old knots, with a 
good deal of the steel in us yet, and quite enough vitality to lay 
out any number of those who pride themselves upon what they 
can do. 

We can sit down and write out our reminiscences for the benefit 
of the young men who are coming along, and perhaps they may 
learn something from our experience. 



CHAPTER XV. 

A COUNCIL OF WAE — PASSAGE OF THE FLEET BY THE BATTERIES 
OF VICKSBURG — GENERAL SHERMAN VISITS THE FLEET IN ITS 
PASSAGE — VTOODEN GUNS ON CART-WHEELS — A HANDFUL OF 
CORN AND A DEAD CONFEDERATE SOLDIER. 

I GAVE General Grant a faithful account of our reconnoissance, 
and he was satisfied that he could not carry on military operations 
against Vicksburg in the way we had attempted. 

"I will go below Vicksburg," he said, "and cross over if I can 
depend on you for a sufficient naval force. I will prepare some 
transports by packing them well with cotton-bales, and we'll start 
as soon as you are ready." 

"I will be ready to-morrow night," I replied, "and in the 
mean time will lay in a full supply of provisions and ammunition, 
and prepare coal-barges to take along." 

General Grant called a council of war that afternoon on board 
my flag-ship — the Black Hawk — and, after informing the generals 
what he proposed to do, asked their opinions. 

General McClernand did not attend the council, but wrote to 
Grant approving the plan. I think General Sherman was present, 
but did not favor the plan, as it would take the army a long dis- 



THE FLEET PASSES THE BATTERIES OF VICKSBURG. 175 

tance from its base of supplies, and for other good reasons which 
Grant considered it necessary to set aside on the present occasion. 

All the other generals present at the council strongly objected to 
Grant's plan. He listened patiently and, when they had finished, 
remarked, "I have considered your arguments, but continue in the 
same opinion. You will be ready to move at ten o'clock to-morrow 
morning. General McClernand will take the advance ; General 
Sherman will remain here with his division and, if possible, make 
an attack on Haines's Bluff in conjunction with such of the gun- 
boats as the admiral may not want with him below." So ended the 
council. 

Everything connected with this movement of General Grant's 
had been conducted with as much secrecy as possible, yet I believe 
the intended change of base was known in Vicksburg almost as 
soon as it was in the Union army. The Confederates had unknown 
means of finding out what was going on, though we certainly sup- 
posed they would know nothing of the intended movement of the 
gun-hoats. 

As night approached, all on board the gun-boats were in a state 
of pleasurable excitement at the prospect of getting away from the 
Yazoo River. 

At the appointed hour we started down the Mississippi as quiet- 
ly as possible, drifting with the current. Dogs and crowing hens 
were left behind, and every precaution taken to prevent the enemy 
from becoming aware of our design. 

We knew they were to have a grand ball that night in Vicks- 
burg, and thought the "sounds of revelry" would favor us in get- 
ting the transports past the batteries. All of these vessels had been 
protected with cotton-bales, and, under the management of their 
brave and experienced pilots, followed along in line. 

I was in advance, in the Benton, and as I looked back at the 
long line I could compare them only to so many phantom vessels. 
Not a light was to be seen nor a sound heard throughout the fleet. 

We approached the bend in the river where the frowning heights 
were covered with heavy batteries. 

" We will, no doubt, slip by unnoticed," I remarked to the cap- 
tain of the Benton ; *'the rebels seem to keep a very poor watch." 

Just then a bright light along the levee illuminated everything, 
showing the city and forts as plainly as if it were daylight. 

'' The town is on fire ! " exclaimed the captain. On the opposite 
Bide of the river was a large railroad station with outbuildings, and 



1T6 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

as soon as the first fire broke out, these also burst into flames. The 
upper fort opened its heavy guns upon the Benton, the shot rat- 
tling against her sides like hail, but she had four inches of iron 
plating over forty inches of oak, so that not much impression was 
made upon her hull. There being no longer any concealment pos- 
sible, we stood to our guns and returned the enemy's fire. 

Every fort and hill-top vomited forth shot and shell, many of 
the latter bursting in the air and doing no damage, but adding to 
the grandeur of the scene. As fast as our vessels came within 
range of the forts they opened their broadsides, and soon put a stop 
to any revelry that might be going on in Vicksburg. 

The enemy's shells set fire to the transport Henry Clay, and she 
was soon in a blaze, adding her light to that of the tar-barrels kept 
by the enemy in readiness for the occasion, for we had not surprised 
them in the least by our movement to run the gauntlet. 

The courageous pilot of the Henry Clay stood at his post and, 
with his vessel all ablaze, attempted to run past the fleet. 

When a man is in trouble the world is generally down on him, 
and so it was with the Henry Clay ; the enemy found her a good 
target, and showered all their attention on her. 

The blazing cotton-bales were knocked overboard by the rebel 
shot, and the river was covered with bits of burning cotton, looking 
like a thousand lamps. 

The men of the Henry Clay finally had to jump into the water 
to save their lives, while the vessel floated until she burned up. 

Another transport was sunk by the rebels, but the rest of them 
passed the batteries, though not without suffering considerable 
damage. 

As to the naval vessels, they had to go slowly and take the ene- 
my's fire. The logs on their sides and the bales of hay with which 
they were packed saved them in many cases. We had few people 
killed, and the enemy's artillery fire was not much to boast of, con- 
sidering that they had over a hundred guns firing at us as we 
drifted down stream in such close order that it would seem to have 
been impossible to miss us. 

The sight was a grand one, and I stood on deck admiring it, 
while the captain fought his vessel and the pilot steered her 
through fire and smoke as coolly as if he was performing an every- 
day duty. 

The Vicksburgers must have been disappointed when they saw 
us get by their batteries with so little damage. We suffered most 



GENERAL SHERMAN VISITS THE FLEET. 1Y7 

from the musketry fire. The soldiers lined the levee and fired into 
our port-holes, wounding our men, for we were not more than twenty- 
yards from the shore. 

Once only the fleet got into a little disorder, owing to the thick 
smoke which hung oyer the river, but the commanding oflicers, ad- 
hering to their orders "to drift only," got safely out of the diffi- 
culty. 

I had just passed the last battery in the Benton, and the vessels 
behind were crowding rather closer than I liked, so I gave the order 
to "Go ahead slow," to let the line straighten up. This soon put 
us a hundred yards ahead, when I was hailed by some one in a boat, 
"Benton ahoy !" 

" Halloo ! " I replied, and presently I recognized the voice of 
General Sherman. 

"Are you all right, old fellow ?" 

" Come on board and see," I replied, and Sherman came over the 
side to hear about our fortunes. 

" One man's leg cut off by a round-shot, half a dozen shell and 
musket-ball wounds," I said. 

"You are more at home here than you were in the ditches 
grounding on willow-trees," said Sherman. " Stick to this, old fel- 
low ; it suits Jack better. There are a lot of my boys on the point 
ready to help you if you want anything. They hauled this boat 
over for me. Good-night I I must go and find out how the other 
fellows fared," and I believe he visited every vessel in turn. He 
would have liked to have been in the storm of shot could he have 
done so with propriety. 

"When the Benton had passed all danger we still continued to 
drift on. The cannon were yet boonyng, and fire was apparently 
issuing from a dozen burning vessels. 

It might have answered for a picture of the infernal regions. 

We were an hour and a half in passing the batteries, which ex- 
tended along the river for about four miles. I could not stop to 
ascertain what damage had been done to the other vessels, as I had 
to keep moving to make way for those behind me. 

The sound of guns gradually decreased as the vessels passed the 
batteries, and then all was silent. The fires had burned out, and 
the river had returned to its former obscurity. 

I came to anchor around a point, and in ten minutes the gun- 
boats began to come in sight one after another in the same order in 
which they had started, anchoring in line under the stern of the 

12 



178 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

Benton. Bunches of cotton still ablaze, and burning fragments of 
the wreck of the Henry Clay, continiicd to come down with the 
current, giving an old rebel, who stood on the shore abreast of our 
anchorage, an opportunity to call out, *' Whar are yer gun-boats 
now ? I tole yer dam' soldiers thar wouldn't be mor'n one on 'em 
left by ther time Vicksburg war done with 'em ! " 

And this worthy went to sleep, happy in the thought that the 
floating bits of cotton were the remains of the unfortunate gun- 
boats, only to wake on the morrow to disappointment. 

General Grant had turned the enemy's flank with his army, I 
had turned it with the gun-boats ; now Grant had to cross the rirer 
and trust to his brave soldiers, who were glad to do anything rather 
than sit down day after day with nothing to do but carry on the 
ordinary routine of an army. Yet such must be the fate of those 
who enter upon a siege like that of Vicksburg, where Nature has 
thrown almost insurmountable obstructions in the way of a hostile 
army. 

Grant ought to have felt happy that night when it was reported 
to him that the gun-boats and transports had arrived at Carthage 
ready for work, for he knew that he had now a prospect of getting 
in the rear of the rebel stronghold. As for myself, I felt sure of 
success, and was certain that Vicksburg would soon be ours. 

General Sherman seemed to take much interest in the passage 
of the fleet by Vicksburg. Not long ago he employed Mr. Taylor, 
an artist of New York, to paint a picture of the affair, I furnishing 
photographs of the vessels and other material in my possession. The 
picture, which is a very correct representation of the scene, is now 
in the War Department, while the original study hangs in my 
library. 

When daylight broke, after the passage of the fleet, I was be- 
sieged by the commanding officers of the gun-boats, who came to 
tell me of their mishaps ; but when I intimated that I intended to 
leave at Carthage any vessel that could not stand the hammering 
they would be subject to at Grand Gulf, everybody suddenly discov- 
ered that no damage had been done their vessels, which, if anything, 
were better prepared for action than when they started out ! 

Opposite where I lay was a body of Union troops, and, supposing 
it was McClernand's corps, which had the advance, I steamed up to 
the levee to greet them. 

I found they had thrown up intrenchments, and had a log on a 
pair of cart-wheels to represent a field-piece. 



WOODEN GUNS ON CART-WHEELS. 179 

General McClernand had pushed ahead with three or four hun- 
dred men of Osterhaus's brigade, and, upon arriving at the point 
where I found them, they discovered themselves confronted by a 
couple of Confederate regiments, who had thrown up earth-works 
and armed them with four guns supposed to be thirty-pounder 
rifles. 

Generals McClernand and Osterhaus came on board the Benton 
as soon as she was made fast to the bank. The former seemed 
pleased to see us, but Osterhaus was beaming all over. 

"Now," said he, " dose dampt fellers, dey'll catch it ; give dem 
gun-boat soup ! " 

One of Osterhaus's staff ran up to an ensign — an old friend of 
his — and, giving him a fraternal hug, exclaimed, '* Ah, Pill, mein 
Gott ! how glad I am to see you ! De sight of you ish petter ash 
goot. Effery soldier in der army ought to carry a gun-pote mit his 
pocket ! " 

''Ya! ya!" said another, "I knosh someding petter as dot. 
Effery man shoult pe a gun-pote ; dot's what I calls de ticket for 
soups ! " 

In the works which the Confederates had thrown up opposite 
McClernand were two or three flags which I thought we might as 
well capture. McClernand requested that I would let the gun-boats 
get under way and settle that work. 

I signaled for Captain Shirk, of the Tuscumbia, and directed 
him to go down and drive the Confederates out of the fort, keeping 
up such a rapid fire of grape and shrapnel that the enemy could not 
carry off a single gun. 

The Confederate earth-works were distant about eight hundred 
yards from us on the bank of the river, and in twenty minutes' time 
the Tuscumbia had opened her batteries at a distance of about three 
hundred yards, and the enemy soon evacuated their fortifications, 
carrying their flags with them. 

Captain Shirk returned almost immediately, having failed to 
carry out my orders and bring the guns with him. But when he 
came on board the Benton he held in his liand a canvas knapsack. 

"What is that, sir ?" I inquired, a little severely ; "and where 
are those guns ? " 

The guns, he said, were four logs mounted on cart-wheels, and 
the knapsack contained all the enemy's commissary stores, which he 
dropped as he was running away. 

In the knapsack was an old shoe and an ear of corn. Heavens 1 



180 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

what a commentary on the Tvar was this ! A soldier fighting for 
an idea he did not comprehend and against the only form of gov- 
ernment which could insure the freedom of the poor white man of 
the South, and willing to live on an ear of corn a day in order that 
an oligarchy might be formed to bring him down to the level of a 
brute. 

Just think of the Spartan courage, though combined with igno- 
rance, on the part of those who bore arms for the South ! Who 
could help admiring such men, even though fighting against them ? 

I witnessed many similar cases when visiting battle-fields, and, 
led by curiosity, examined the knapsacks of the dead soldiers. 

On one occasion I found but a handful of corn ; on another, a 
few ounces of corn -bread ; and in both cases the dead men were so 
emaciated by hard labor and the want of proper food that they were 
reduced to skin and bones. 

In point of endurance they set us an example it would have been 
hard to follow. I do not know whether we could have endured the 
hardships as well as they, as we were never called upon to try it. 
Our Commissary Department was the best in the world, and the 
waste of our provisions would have supplied a European army. 

The presence of the gun-boats enabled General McClernand to 
take a more comfortable position, and he established his headquar- 
ters close by the advance of his corps, being about five miles from 
Grand Gulf, where it was at that time supposed General Grant would 
cross over if the gun-boats could drive the enemy from their bat- 
teries at that place. 



CHAPTEK XVI. 

]S"AVAL BATTLE AT GRAN'D GULF — THREE COMMISSIONERS PROM 
WASHINGTON TO EXAMINE INTO THE CONDUCT OF AFFAIRS — 
ONE OF THE COMMISSIONERS IN A **LONG SHIRT " — TAR AND 
FEATHERS — LANDING OF THE ARMY AT BRUENSBURG — AMUS- 
ING STORY OF AN IOWA REGIMENT — FIRST MEETING WITH 
GENERAL A. J. SMITH — A CONFEDERATE RAM. 

The battle of Grand Gulf was fought April 29, 1863, and won 
by the navy, and it was as hard a fight as any that occurred during 
the war. 



JOLLITY ON BOARD MY FLAG-SHIP, THE BENTON. 181 

For more than five hours the gun-boats engaged the enemy's 
batteries at close quarters, the latter having thirteen heavy guns 
placed on commanding heights from eighty to one hundred and 
twenty feet above the river. We lost seventy-five men in killed 
and wounded, and silenced all the enemy's guns. We passed all 
the transports by the batteries without damage, and General Grant 
was at liberty to cross the Mississippi and commence operations on 
the Vicksburg side as soon as he thought proper. 

He had marched some thirty-two thousand men to the point 
opposite Grand Gulf, and gun-boats and transports were all assem- 
bled there, waiting to go whithersoever they were wanted. 

General Grant witnessed the action at Grand Gulf from a tug 
in the middle of the river. 

There had come to visit the army three persons who were re- 
ported to be commissioners sent from Washington to examine into 
the conduct of affairs — Mr. E. B. Washburn, Governor Yates, and 
Adjutant-General Thomas. These gentlemen were on board the 
tug with General Grant during the engagement between the forts 
and the gun-boats, and I think were favorably impressed with the 
result of the conflict. For the official report of the fight I must 
refer my readers to the Secretary of the Navy's Annual Report for 
1863. 

When night came I made General Grant and the commissioners 
very comfortable on board my flag-ship, the Benton, for the army, 
by Grant's order, had brought no tents, and to old General Thomas 
I gave up my state-room. On such occasions people will be jolly 
if the company is at all congenial, and that night formed no excep- 
tion to the rule. 

The commissioners expressed their satisfaction that the army 
had moved from before Vicksburg, and that we could keep open 
communications with our base of supplies. 

Sherman, with a large army and a considerable naval force, was 
left near Milliken's Bend to act as might be advisable, and Grant 
could either get in the rear of Vicksburg via Bruensburg or try 
some other point. 

I was particularly interested that night in making General 
Thomas comfortable, helping him unpack his carpet-bag and get out 
his " long sliirt^^ in which attire he looked every inch an adjutant- 
general ! To supplement his ''long shirt," I furnished him with a 
"night-cap," under the influence of which the old gentleman grew 
confidential and told me the whole story of the commission. 



182 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

''Great complaints," said the general, "liave come to the Presi- 
dent from some one in the army before Vicksburg in regard to 
Grant's manner of conducting operations, and Mr. Lincoln there- 
fore determined to find out for himself the true state of affairs ; so 
he sent the present commissioners to examine with full powers." 
Here the general stopped and swore me to secrecy. Mr. Washburn 
was sent as the fast friend of General Grant, Governor Yates as a 
man in whose conscientious opinions the President could depend, 
and General Thomas "as a military expert, who could explain to 
his colleagues the exact situation of affairs and the defects in Grant's 
plans if any existed ! " 

"We stopped first," said the general, "at McClernand's camp, 
to ascertain his style of doing things. He gave us a grand review 
and a good lunch, but had no ice for his champagne ; then we called 
on Grant, and. Admiral, I'll give you a piece of information." 

"Wait a moment," I interrupted; "your throat sounds dry; 
try this glass of toddy ; it will make you sleep like a top, and you 
won't feel the mosquitoes." 

The general drank it down without winking. " You would have 
made a fortune, Admiral, as a barkeeper," he said ; " you have such a 
talent for mixing drinks ; but don't mention what I'm going to tell 
you. I carry in my bag full authority to remove General Grant and 
place whomsoever I please in command of the army ; " and the old 
general drew himself up and looked at me as much as to say, " What 
do you think of that ? " 

I reflected for a moment, and then asked whom it was proposed 
to put in Grant's place. 

"Well," replied General Thomas, "that depends; McClernand 
is prominent." 

"General," I said, "no doubt your plans are well considered, 
but let an old salt give you a piece of advice. Don't let your plans 
get out, for if the army and navy should find out what you three 
gentlemen came for, they would tar and feather you, and neither 
General Grant nor myself could prevent it." 

" Is it possible ? " exclaimed the general. "But I don't intend 
to do anything. We are delighted with all we have seen, so there 
will be no change. I should have pursued the same course as Gen- 
eral Grant had I been in command myself ! " 

" Stick to that, General," I said, " and don't forget that I am in 
earnest about the tar and feathers ; now go to sleep and dream of 
being made major-general for the good service you will perform by 



IN THE REAR OF VICKSBURG. 183 

telling the President tliat everything has been done that could be 
done, that the army and the navy are all right, and that Vicks- 
burg will be ours in thirty days, if not sooner." 

I never mentioned General Thomas's conversation until some 
years after the close of the war, when I gave General Badeau, who 
was then writing the "Military History of General Grant," my 
journal to look over. 

I have read several accounts of the siege of Vicksburg, but none 
of them convey a good idea of the operations which led to the fall 
of that strongliold. The true history of the siege of Vicksburg 
must not be the sensational work of a penny-a-liner. It will be a 
chronicle of patient labor. There were no "dashing moves" while 
our army was sitting down before the place or before the city was 
turned. There was no place to dash into except the Mississippi 
Eiver. 

At daylight, on the morning after the Grand Gulf fight, the 
troops began to throng on board the gun-boats and transports, and, 
when all were embarked, we headed down stream instead of crossing 
over, and in an hour and a half hauled up at Bruensburg, on the 
Vicksburg side. 

There some thirty-two thousand men with rations for four days 
were landed, and then commenced that remarkable series of move- 
ments which placed our army in the rear of Vicksburg, our troops 
forcing their way between two formidable armies of forty thousand 
men each, posted in commanding positions. 

Our troops had to assail the enemy after long and tortuous 
marches, with a deep river on one side and almost inaccessible hills 
bristling with bayonets to oppose them. 

It was in my opinion the most remarkable and most successful 
military operation of the civil war, and was the crowning move 
toward placing the Father of Waters once more under the absolute 
control of its legitimate rulers. 

If any one had heretofore doubted General Grant's ability, it 
would seem that the latter's arrival on the heights in the rear of 
Vicksburg, driving Pemberton with forty thousand men into the 
intrenched city, and causing General Joe Johnston with an equal 
force to retire beyond Jackson, must have removed his doubts. 

I at once opened communication with Grant's army by way of 
the Yazoo, and the city of Vicksburg was in a day or two sealed up 
so tight that even the "intelligent contraband" found it impossible 
to get in or out. 



184 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

There we will leaye the army, for we can not tell the story of 
the hardships and trials they underwent, the disappointments they 
suffered, and the fortitude they exhibited. 

The entire operations were marked by a happy co-operation on 
the part of the army and the navy, on which success so much de- 
pends on such occasions. 

It could not be expected that an army which started out with 
but four days' rations and cut themselves off from their base of sup- 
plies could do otherwise than live upon the country. There were 
certain regiments in that army which had a reputation as pot-hunt- 
ers as well as fighters, and one of these was the 13th Iowa, in Gen- 
eral A. J. Smith's brigade. 

Bruensburg and the surrounding country was the great depot 
for live-stock, grain, etc., and, in twenty-four hours after the arrival 
of our army, fresh meat abounded in camp, and the soldiers' lines 
seemed to have fallen in pleasant places. Foraging was not pro- 
hibited ; in fact, the soldiers were cautioned to save the Govern- 
ment rations for an emergency ; so that the squealing of pigs, and 
the bleating of calves and sheep, and the cackling of poultry were 
common sounds in camp, and many a fence-rail was burned to cook 
provisions for some yeteran who had proved himself a good forager. 

The day after General Grant's arrival at Bruensburg, so goes the 
story, as he was sitting in his tent, the flap was pushed aside and 
an old rebel, who had long passed the time to bear arms, thrust his 
head through the opening. In his hand he held a rope, which was 
attached to a large, raw-boned mule with swelled knees and minus 
an eye. At least twenty summers must have passed over the head 
of this interesting animal. 

The old fellow gazed curiously at the general, as if he had ex- 
pected to see one of the huge ogres such as figure in the chronicles 
of Jack the Giant-Killer. *' Be you the gin'raJ of this here army ? " 
he inquired ; "ef so, I got a complaint agin one of your rigiments, 
an' I want you to 'tend to it to oust. I don't come here to ask 
favors, but to deman' my rights, for, if these ain't granted, dem my 
picter if yer don't see some tall talkin' w'en this here war's over an' 
the Confed'rit Gov'ment makes claim for damages to her loyal citi- 
zens. I'm Abel Doolittle, that's who I am, an' ef I hadn't the al- 
firedest nicest farm in all these parts afore your bummers come along, 
I'll swell up an' sneeze. An' ef you don't see me righted, w'en this 
blasted war is ended, you'll hear on this, I tell you ! Fust comes 
them Confed'rit fellers an' takes two tenths uy all we got, an' gia 



STORY OF AN IOWA REGIMENT. 185 

US a bar'l uv Confed'rit shin-plasters ; then comes along yer blasted 
pot-hunters an' takes the tother eight tenths, and never even said 
Thank ye ! What you think uv that ? " 

*' Didn't they give you a receipt ? " inquired the general. 

''Receipt! thunder!" said the old man. "Yes, they giv' us 
receipts enough, but them things ain't wuth nothin' ; an', I tell you, 
I'm goin' ter be paid, or you'll hear on it." 

*' What is your complaint ? " inquired the general. 

" Well," replied the old man, " I ain't got no complaint, as I 
knows on just now, ceptin' the rheumatiz an' fever an' ager, same's 
all ov us has at this season." 

" I mean," said the general, " what charges have you to make 
against any one ? Speak out, and don't take up my time. Here, 
Rawlins, attend to this man," and the general walked away. 

"Now," said General Rawlins, "say quickly what you have to 
say, and then get out of this." 

"Ah, yes !" exclaimed the old man, "that's demed pretty talk. 
You fellers come along and eat us out of house and home, an', when 
a man wants his money, you turn up yer nose as if yer owned the 
GuaDO Islands." 

"What happened to you ?" said Rawlins. 

"Why," said the old fellow, "I had the finest lot ov chickens, 
turkeys, pigs, an' sheep as ever you seen, but dam' my buttons ef 
you fellers ain't gone an' tuk everything except this ole muel an' 
an ole goose. There was two ov them geese, an' they tried one uv 
'em ; but ef a hull rigimint didn't break their teeth out after tearin' 
away at that ole goose, well, I don't know what loosin' teeth is. 
Why, Gin'ral, ef I hadn't brought the muel away they'd a eatin 
him." 

"But what do you expect me to do ?" inquired General Raw- 
lins. " How are you going to find out who did all that you com- 
plain of?" 

"Well, I know who did it," said the old fellow; "it's one of 
Gin'ral A. J. Smith's rigiments. I know the sargint what led them 
men on. He belongs to the 13th lowy, an' he kin skin a hog quick- 
er'n grease lightnin'." 

Just then General A. J. Smith walked into the tent. " Here, 
General," said Rawlins, " this man has a complaint to make against 
some of your boys." 

"What is it ?" said General Smith. 

"Just what I tole this here gin'ral," replied the old man; 



186 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

"your men come on ter my place an' they stole everythin' they 
could lay han's on, an' only lef me an' ole goose an' this ole muel." 

The general looked at him with contempt. ** Pray what regi- 
ment did all this damage ? " 

*'The 13th lowy," said the man. 

"They weren't my men, thir," said General Smith. "Ith'a a 
damned lie ; they never were on your farm. I know my boys too 
well. If it had been the 13th Iowa they'd have taken everything 
on the place, and wouldn't have left a goose or a mule or anything 
else. No, thir ! my boys don't do things in that way. If you don't 
keep your eye on that mule they'll get him away from you before 
sundown." 

The old man turned around to gaze upon his beloved mule, then 
shouted, "By the great Jehosophat, ef they ain't gone an' tuk him 
an' leff a darned sojer at the end of the rope ! " 

General Smith glanced proudly around. "Ah, Eawlins!" he 
said, " those must have been my boys after all ; if I could only hear 
that they had eaten the old man's goose I should be certain of it." 

" They're a hard set, General," said Eawlins. 

"Yes," said General Smith, "but they don't cost the Govern- 
ment anything for transportation, and, no matter where they camp, 
they find a store of provisions half an hour afterward." 

General A. J. Smith was one of those glorious old veterans who 
shared with his men all the dangers and hardships of the campaign. 
He never permitted any of his command to indulge in luxuries if 
he could help it ; and once, in trying to express his contempt for 
a certain person, said, "He is one of those fellows who carry a 
shelter-tent ! " 

General Smith and myself served together a good deal, and I 
never knew him to falter. He was as brave a man as Grant had in 
his army, and, although he allowed his men a great deal of latitude, 
he was a rigid disciplinarian. 

My first meeting with General A. J. Smith was an amusing one. 
It took place at Fort Hindman, Arkansas. Fort Hindman, for- 
merly called " Arkansas Post," was captured by the navy. About an 
hour after the surrender, when the prisoners had all been secured, 
a large number of Union officers on horseback were seen approach- 
ing the fort. The marines had been posted as sentinels, and the 
sailors were taking the prisoners off to the gun-boats. An adjutant 
galloped up, and, jumping from his horse, sang out, "Get out of 
this ; everybody clear the fort. General Smith is coming to take 



FIRST ACQUAINTANCE WITH GENERAL A. J. SMITH. 187 

possession. Clear out at once ! " The naval oflBcers were watching 
the approaching cavalcade from the summit of a mound. I was 
dressed in a blue blouse with nothing but a pair of small shoulder- 
straps to indicate my rank, and, stepping down, I said to the new- 
comer, "Who are you, pray, that undertakes to give such orders 
here ? We've whipped the rebels out of this place, and if you don't 
take care we will clear you out also ! " At that moment General 
Smith rode in with the cavalcade. "Here, General," said the 
officer, " is a man who says he isn't going out of this for you or 
anybody else, and that he'll whip us out if we don't take care ! " 
"Will he, be God?" said General Smith; "will he, be God? Let 
me see him ; bring the fellow here ! " I stepped forward and said, 
"Here I am, sir, the admiral commanding this squadron." At 
this announcement Smith laid his right hand on the holster of his 
pistol. I thought, of course, that he was about to shoot me, but, 
instead of that, the general hauled out a bottle and said, " Be God ! 
Admiral, I'm glad to see you ; let's take a drink I " 

This was the origin of my acquaintance with General A. J. 
Smith, resulting in a friendship which lasted through the war. 

After landing the army at Bruensburg I steamed down the Mis- 
sissippi to the mouth of Eed Eiver, where Farragut was in the Hart- 
ford, relieved him of the blockade of that stream, and he rejoined 
his squadron. Fort Hudson had not yet surrendered. 

Then I started up Red River, took possession of Fort de Russy, 
and partly destroyed that work. 

Farragut had cautioned me against a ram said to be building 
up Red River. After finishing with Fort de Russy I began to in- 
quire about the ram, for I did not desire to suddenly encounter such 
an enemy while turning a bend in the river, and perhaps lose one 
or more of my vessels. 

I entered into conversktion with a man whom we met near Fort 
de Russy, and said to him, " Well, stranger, I hear you have a Con- 
federate ram up here somewhere. Whereabouts is she ? " 

"Lemme think," said the native, scratching his head while 
going through the thinking process. *'Yes, thar is a ram 'bout 
eight miles above hyar." 

" Is it a powerful one ? " I inquired. 

** Wall, I reckon you'd think so ef you seen it ; it's the allfiredest 
strong thing ever I seen, an' I guess at buttin' it ud knock them ar 
bows of yourn into smithereens." 

**How large is it ?" I asked. 



188 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

** Wall, it's 'bout the biggest thing I ever seen." 

"Tell me all about it/' I said, for I was beginning to get inter- 
ested. 

"Wall, Gin'ral," said the man, "that's easier said than done. 
It's an allfired buster, an' kin beat all creation at buttin'. That's 
all I knows about it. I seen it on Mr. Whitler's place, as I tole yer, 
eight miles above hyar ; an' one day, w'en I was up thar, whar thar 
war a bull weighin' twenty-eight hunder, an' as soon as the bull seen 
the ram he 'gan to paw the airth an' throwed up his tail, an' the 
ram put down his head an' the bull bellered, an' they went slap 
dash at each other, an' ef that ram didn't knock daylights out o' 
that bull, and knock his tail out by the roots, and his horns off, and 
lay him out as flat as a pancake, I'm a liar ! " 

"But," said I, "I am asking you about a Confederate ram— a 
vessel covered with iron." 

"Wall, Gin'ral," said the man, "I don't know nothin' 'bout 
any Confed'rit ram, but I'm sure the one I seen could knock the 
bows off them ar turtles ov yourn afore you could wink, an' I reckon 
he mus' be a Confed'rit ram, seein' he war born in these parts." 

Any apprehensions I might have had in regard to a Confederate 
ram were put at rest, and I made no more inquiries. 

I was afterward informed that this simple native whom I had 
questioned was a Confederate ofiQcer in disguise, who regaled his 
friends with the story of how he had beguiled the Yankees. How- 
ever, he was entirely welcome to his little joke. 



CHAPTER XYII. 

SIEGE OF YICKSBUEG. 

See those hills, with their heads so defiant and bold, 
Standing up as if reared by the Titans of old ; 
The deep rolling river just laving their feet, 
And the cool glens and valleys defying the heat. 
There are caves in those hills where a ripple of light 
Scarce enters within — where the darkness of night 
Reigns supreme, like some great and imperial king, 
Where the sun not even a shadow can fling ; 



SIEGE OF VICKSBURG. 189 

For darkness is soTereign, the light of the day, 

When peeping in there, flies frightened away. 

The thick fog in the noon-time almost baffles the sight, 

And, obscuring the sun, turns day into night. 

On the rugged hill-tops great forests abound, 

And the day throws no light in that stillness profound ; 

In the foreground are gorges, rifted and torn 

By fire and wind, and by swift torrents worn, 

Where brambles and scrub-oaks, all twisted in one. 

Bar the way to invaders or the Hght of the sun. 

High on the plateau, higher than all. 

Stands the labor of man — a marvelous wall — 

Its guns and its mortars protecting the rear. 

Half-moons and counterscarps, where defenders need fear 

No assailants who'll come in the gloom of the night. 

The ramparts are manned with men who will fight. 

Each house is a castle throughout the old town. 

And the front with strong works is environed around ; 

The right wing is protected by a frightful abyss, 

On the other side faced by a steep precipice ; 

Here would be scattered assailants and all. 

And they long would remember that o'erhanging wall. 

On the left runs a line, showing bright in the sun. 

Of earth-works in numbers, mounting many a gun, 

With rough-looking rocks crowding round them in piles, 

And intrenchments bewildering extending for miles. 

This is Vicksburg — the heart of this terrible strife — 

Prepared at all points to contend for its life. 

Ah ! those beautiful valleys, so bright and serene, 

The red blood will deluge their grass-plots so green ; 

The hill-sides and rocks will be soon red and gory. 

And in ages to come they'll be famous in story. 

We surround the doomed city, the pressure's begun, 
And we're throwing in missiles from mortar and gun. 
Months pass, and a gloom, like the mantle of death. 
Hangs over the scene, where not even a breath 
Of hope could be felt. While the brave foemen fell 
By the hundreds beneath our merciless shell. 
We bombarded in front, we assaulted the rear, 
And every attack only cost us more dear. 



190 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

There's an end to endurance ; the long-gnawing fast 
Could not he withstood ; the fall came at last. 

In the trenches, in battle, ah ! the days of the past 

Eose before the poor soldier breathing his last ; 

He would turn his dimmed eyes to the light in the west. 

And waft a fond sigh to those he loved best. 

But how many were wrapped in the garments of Death 

Who welcomed Life's ending ! War's withering breath 

Had wrested from many every joy in this life, 

For what joy could one find in this murderous strife ? 

Many breathed their last sigh on that wide gory plain. 

And welcomed the bullet that ended their pain. ' 

And the angels rejoice o'er the soldier's repose, 

And drop tears o'er the life just brought to a close ; 

For no longer he'll battle on the chill, dreary plain 

With hunger and thirst, in the cold sleety rain. 

Where day's turned to night, and night into day. 

And where shrapnel and shell sweep liundreds away. 

Thank God ! the sweet angel of mercy is by 

The brave soldier who dies, and will catch his last sigh ; 

Soars aloft with his soul, while never again 

In hardship or battle will it grapple with pain. 

The cold, bitter blasts of winter have come. 

And bring back the thoughts of a once-cherished home ; 

The snow, which is red with the blood of the brave, 

Piles up in rifts o'er the poor soldier's grave ; 

And the cold, piercing wind, in its merciless wrath, 

Is howling a requiem of death in its path. 

As if searching for something still further to blast, 

And dealing destruction all round to the last. 

The angel of mercy sits out in the storm, 

A halo of light flashes round her pure form, 

And she drives off in anger that demon of sin 

Who is watching his chance in the storm to get in, 

And now flies in dismay, back, back to his shades, 

Down, down to the bottomless pit of dark Hades, 

For God in his mercy claims as his own 

Those fallen in war who great honors have won. 



1 



SIEGE OF VICKSBURG. 191 

There's that broken-down soldier sitting out in the storm ; 

Pinched is his face and bent is his form ; 

His uniform's ragged, his whole look is forlorn, 

His breakfast is simply a handful of corn. 

Shivering he sits, most sad is his look, 

He has no commissariat, no victuals to cook. 

Torn from his home — what a terrible fate ! — 

To fight 'gainst his will and nourish a hate 

For the flag he once loved, and that beautiful plan 

The Creator designed for the freedom of man. 

What can console him ? what can repay 

For privations he's suffered, his life thrown away ? 

Who sits by his side in the withering cold, 

Looking so sickly, so wretchedly old ? 

'Tis a comrade he cares for. He can scarce draw a breath ; 

He is leaving last words, ho is fighting with Death. 

So passes the night, so passes the day. 

Hundreds by Death are oft snatched away. 

Shot and shell do their work, but privations do more, 

And fill up the grave-yard along the lone shore. 

See that bright youth of eighteen, looking afar 
At the western horizon, on the bright evening star. 
Another is looking at that star in the west. 
And, knowing Tie sees it, thinks herself blest. 
They promised, at parting, when the rays of the sun 
Were melting in twilight and the day's work was done, 
They'd go out in the evening and look at that star, 
And their souls be united, though parted so far. 
He hears the sweet chimes of the soft vesper bell — 
And quickly he knelt as it soothingly fell — 
And he sends up a prayer to the Euler on high, 
And falls dead as he kneels, and wafts her a sigh, 
For a ball strikes his heart. He will see her no more ; 
She will watch now alone, his watching is o'er. 
A cloud, dark and threatening, obscures all the west. 
And that poor maiden feels she no longer is blest. 
Her soldier is dead, his marching is done, 
An angel stoops o'er him, a triumph is won ; 
A soul flies to heaven, there's joy in the skies. 
There's a whisper of mercy as upward it flies. 



192 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

Look at those soldiers, how they hobble away ! \ 

There's no work for them now, they can no longer stay ; 

They've been wounded and starved, they go out on parole, 

Their limbs are all shattered, naught is left but a soul. 

At night, on the road, they'll have no place to lie. 

Yet they'll struggle along, for they go home to die. 

Already they see the home-fire's bright glare, 

And father, and mother, and sister are there. 

Though they've suffered with cold and have no place to sleep. 

And live on mild charity as onward they creep, 

They keep their eyes fixed on that star in the west ; 

Just beneath it they hope to find welcome and rest. 

Yet who pities the pains of the soldiers so poor ? 

They crawl with crushed limbs past the rich man's closed door ; 

Still they keep their eyes fixed on that star in the sky. 

Which points out the road to their homes where they'll die. 

The poor ones would help them, but they barely can live ; 

They are starving themselves — they have nothing to give. 

Move on ! they can't help you, they nothing can do ; 

Go to some richer mansion — they are poorer than you. 

And they move on. At night on the wet soil they lie. 

And they reach home at last, but to lie down and die. 

And the bright star of eve still shines in the west, 

And sheds its light on the graves of the soldiers at rest. 

Tears are shed on the sod, a wife's last fond claim. 

And the poor soldier sleeps — his last sleep — without fame. 

Just observe those sweet villas, once with beauty bedecked. 

They are shattered and torn, without tenants, and wrecked. 

The rose, which in clusters sheds its perfume around, , 

Is lying all trampled and crushed on the ground. 

Gaunt desolation now dwells in those halls, 

And the bomb-shells' rude blows have destroyed all the walls ; 

The owls and the foxes in these rooms make their home. 

Those who lived there, and loved there, now have to roam. 

Seeking for shelter in damp holes in the hills. 

Breathing foulest of air, and air that soon kills. 

In vain they seek safety ; the deep, piercing shell 

Makes their homes in the caves little better than hell ; 

But, though suffering all evils, and without light of day. 

They kneel down at eve and in hopelessness pray. 



SIEGE OF VICKSBURG. 193 

And the loose, yielding earth only gives them a grave, 

For they die, when fast sleeping, with no hand to save. 

No one can hear that loud, piercing cry 

That ascends to their God (for mercy) on high. 

In ages to come, men in digging below 

Will find their poor bones, but they never will know 

Of the anguish and pain of the inmates who fell 

(In the close, pent-up cave) by the deep, piercing shell. 

There are the dead in their graves — in long, mournful 

rows — 
What anguish they suffered in dying I Who knows ? 
Who kept a record ? Who is there can tell 
Who died of starvation, or whom by the shell ? 
All we know is, they lie by the deep river shore, 
A board at their heads with a Clumber — no more. 
Friends may ask for their bones, when the war's at an end ; 
Who can tell, midst that crowd, who's relation or friend ? 
What havoc those bomb-shells have made in that ground — 
Heads, legs, and arms all scattered around ! 
No peace for the living, no peace for the dead. 
What cared the gunners, so Death could be fed ? 
Uprooted are coffins, and the grave-yard debris 
Is scattered about in confusion, you see. 
It were useless to try and regather the dead ; 
That can not be done till the day when the dread 
Trumpet calls us before God's awful throne ; 
Then the dead will all rise and bone spring to bone. 

That street is much torn by the thirteen-inch shell. 
Cobble-stone, curb-stone are mixed up pell-mell 
With remains of strong horses and dead mules in the roads — 
They were all blown to pieces while drawing their loads. 

See those stone-houses crushed, those church-steeples knocked 

down, 
And disaster and ruin all over the town ; 
No pen can describe, no language can tell, 
The terrible blow of a thirteen-inch shell. 
It bursts in the air, it bursts in the ground, 
And scatters its death-dealing fragments around ; 

13 



194 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

It brings sleepless nights when it bursts in the air. 
And warns the besieged that the foe is still there. 

Mark that company coming from church. A fair bride 

Has an officer by her — how she clings to his side 1 

They have plighted their vows and are now man and wife. 

And have promised to cling to each other through life. 

Life's uncertain at best, and how little we know 

By day or by night when will come the death-blow ! 

They at least hope to gather some flowers in spring. 

And sit hand in hand where the mocking-birds sing. 

Or list to the lark as it soars in the sky, 

While the swift mountain stream goes murmuring by. 

But who, in their wildest conjectures, could tell 

These two were to die by a murderous shell ? 

But grim Death spares neither the young nor the old. 

It did not spare them ; the story's soon told. 

Hand in hand they walked on. A terrible shell 

Burst in their midst, and both of them fell. 

A Peri from paradise, lingering near by, 

Flew quick to the spot and caught their last sigh, 

And, springing aloft quicker than thought, 

To the closed gates of heaven the welcome gift brought. 

Here's a trophy for angels ; it is free from all sin ; 

Wide open the gates, let me bring the gift in. 

Harps of seraphs resound through the portals on high. 

While God's hosts rejoice o'er the lovers' last sigh. 

Hark ! hark to the sound of the evening gun ! 
The night-watch is set and the day's work is done. 
The sentry on post walks along on his beat. 
And all that is heard is the sound of his feet ; 
He is thinking of mother and sisters at home, 
And the bright joys of life hereafter to come. 
He stops on his beat. Say, what does he hear ? 
'Tis the hoot of the night-owl which strikes on his ear. 
He continues his walk with monotonous tramp. 
Wraps his thin coat about him, the night-air is damp ; 
He strides on while he looks at the stars in the west, 
Going down, one by one, to seek their night's rest. 



SIEGE OF VICKSBURG. 195 

They would rise in the morning, and again they would set, 
And, like him, make their rounds o'er their pathway— but 

yet 
They were there for eternity : that he plainly could see ; 
But, by mid-day to-morrow, where would he be ? 
A breeze blows, a bough breaks, a leaf falls to the ground ; 
Again he now stops to list to that sound. 
Comes a shriek through the air, and a small glittering light ; 
It descends through a curve and dazzles his sight. 
He watches it keenly ; it comes from afar ; 
'Tis a fire-fly surely, or a small falling star. 
He has no time to think ; it drops at his feet 
And explodes, tears up rocks. He falls dead on his beat. 
All around know the sound of that bursting too well, 
And turn pale o'er the work of that merciless shell. 
By starlight they bear him to the deep river's side, 
And inter him in silence, where hundreds have died. 

Lo ! there's an old shattered church, all ready to fall. 

See how the green ivy still clings to the wall. 

As a woman will cling, from the days of her youth. 

To the man whom she's loved, who's lost honor and truth. 

But the ivy and tendrils will fall to the ground. 

And the wall, unsupported, very soon will come down. 

Though holy the church, and so sacred the shrine. 

Shells have no respect for walls so divine. 

In war, men ne'er think of the ruin they bring 

On the sweet, loving homes, or the most sacred thing. 

In war, man's a demon. His nature set free, 

His soul is a desert, parched as deserts can be. 

From its throne Human Reason steps down so debased, 

Truth, love, pity, friendship— all soon run to waste. 

Man, urged by his passions, without due restraints, 

Will desecrate altars and martyrize saints. 

There's glory and fame left. Each passion a snare, 

War is ruin in all shapes ; it brings but despair. 

But enough of this subject. Let us close up the theme. — 

Of the great horrors there, no one would dream. — 

Gaunt famine killed hundreds, and sickness as well, 

But worse came from the fall of the merciless shell. 



196 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

There's &fete in old Vicksburg. The great and the small 

Are preparing to go to the oiSicers' ball. 

Just to throw off their ennui, gloom, and despair. 

Which, with famine and death, pervade the foul air. 

The soldiers, in perfect abandon, no doubt. 

Determine to have all their friends at a rout, 

Where the music would cheer, and sweet converse would 

flow. 
And sound like the echo of joys long ago. 
Little dress wants the soldier : he has made his toilet. 
He is booted and spurred, has skin gloves on, and yet 
He needs to look in the glass to adjust his cravat. 
Or admire his curls, ere he sits down to chat. 
Pray, why this grand ball ? We can only surmise. 
Is 't that lovers may bask in beauty's bright eyes ? 
Or that viands so rare would enliven the sight. 
And that scents of sweet flowers would perfume the night ? 
No, it is none of these. There'll be no viands there, 
No sherry nor champagne selected with care ; 
No tables with ices, fruits, or salads are set, 
Where the gay and the witty in laughter are met, 
Where lights so resplendent reflect on the wall. 
And make each one remember the officers' ball. 
Yet they'll bask in the looks of the dark and the fair, 
"And bring back the smiles which joy used to wear." 
There is nothing there but music full sweet, 
Which gives pulse to the heart and life to the feet. 
The men come to woo the lovely and fair, 
And they all come this eve to beguile away care. 
As the moths, that are lost in the gloom of the night, 
Will fly on, confiding, to the hot, glaring light. 
Heedless, forgetting, the poor foolish things ! 
That in wooing the light they are burning their wings. 
It is but a change in their terrible life — 
To get rid, for an hour, of gloom and of strife. 
Though they only could hope to go back in the morn 
To their caves where they'd cherished their hatred and scorn. 
The fair ones wear neither bracelet nor ring ; 
They've sold all for their cause— Rebellion is king. 
They are neither adorned with pearls nor rich laces ; 
The attractions they have are their forms and their faces. 



SIEGE OF VICKSBURG. 197 

Which, though marked with strong lines of sorrow and care, 

Possess all the grace of their class— which is rare. 

They dim with their brightness each planet and star 

Which beams on those beautiful dames from afar ; 

No diamonds can vie with their sparkling black eyes. 

Which are brighter by far than those lights in the skies, 

And their faces but look more lovely and fair. 

Rich framed in full coils of bright golden hair. 

Dressed in plain fashion, they came one and all. 

Each worthy to be the belle of the ball. 

Their rich dresses have gone to the hospital store. 

To be used for the wounded ; and, such as they wore. 

Are the simplest and cheapest chenille to be found. 

And their shoes are so worn their feet touch the ground. 

This gay night many dance, forgetting their ills. 

While others sit leaning on the cool window-sills. 

Some round the ball-room gracefully walk 

With their lovers, while others sit, flirt, and talk. 

The ball-room's a barrack, where the murderous shell. 

In the worst of the siege, never yet fell ; 

And none there ever thought that shrapnel or ball 

Could invade this retreat— so thick was the wall. 

Silently, slowly the fleet moves away 

From the mouth of the Yazoo, where in safety it lay, 

And it drifts along quietly, moved on by the stream, 

Not turning the wheels or using the steam, 

All looking like phantom-ships gi'oping their way 

Through the darkness of night to the confines of day. 

They move o'er the river with the silence of death ; 

None whisper a word, or draw a long breath. 

The moon has gone down, there's no sound in the -camp, 

Not even is heard the sentry's loud tramp. 

That sentry's neglectful ; he must be asleep ; 

No good soldier in war such poor vigil would keep. 

Not so in this instance. The soldier's keen sight 

Catches phantom-ships drifting along in the night, 

And the fire leaps forth along the broad shore. 

And is answered at once by the cannon's loud roar. 

The ball is deserted, not a moment is lost, 

Each officer rushes at once to his post. 



198 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

The husband stops not to speak one fond adieu 

To the wife of his soul, and the lover so true 

Tears away from his idol, with sorrow and pain, 

To marshal his men. They ne'er meet again. 

From fortress and valleys, from casemates on high, 

Kifle-shell, shrapnel, and grape-shot now fly ; 

And the fleet lends its cannon to add to the din. 

And each soul is now nerved this battle to win. 

But the shell from the ships sweep o'er the broad plain, 

And, bursting in air, is re-echoed again 

O'er the hill-tops, in caves, or wherever they fall. 

They e'en burst on the scene of the officers' ball. 

There is grief in the camp, and loud wailing this night, 

For the wounded and dead who fell in that fight. 

But the fires burned down, leaving Vicksburg in gloom, 

And the phantom-ships floated on — sealing her doom. 

The besieged fight boldly 'mid the fire and blaze. 

But their efforts are vain ; they look on in amaze 

At the phantom-ships floating along on the stream. 

And passing so swiftly, without using steam. 

Who can tell what despair envelops them all 

As they fly to the place where the officers' ball 

Had been held ? It had been swept by the shell, 

And dying and dead are now mingled pell-mell. 

The eyes that once sparkled, and were wont to beguile. 

Are now closed in death. Lips no longer smile. 

Their reward is in heaven for the good they have done ; 

Their misfortunes are over, their battle is won. 

Once more are united the blue and the gray — 

Eancor and hatred have both passed away. 

No longer war's ogres, the defense, and the siege. 

Keep up hostile feeling — the Union is liege. 

The atmosphere, filled with thick smoke and gloom, 

No longer resounds with the cannon's loud boom. 

Peace reigns triumphant all over the land, 

And the North and the South move on hand in hand. 

Death in his avarice has glutted the grave, 

War has bathed its foul hands in the blood of the brave ; 

But the sun shines again, as bright as of yore. 

And the gay stars of heaven all twinkle once more. 



SIEGE OF VICKSBURG.—GENERAL GRANT. 199 

While the moon, going down in its daily decline, 

Sheds a soft mellow light on our tents all in line, 

Where our soldiers are resting in honor and glory, 

And are eulogized now in ballad and story. 

The spirits of good in high heaven all smile 

On the brave boys in blue — the rank and the file — 

And sailors, God bless them ! who in days that are past. 

In misfortune or glory, fought on to the last, 

And were always so faithful, and pressed on the more, 

When memory brought back the hard fighting of yore. 

Dear reminiscences : they mellow with time, 

And those dread scenes of war seem almost sublime, 

Like old wine that's been binned and bottled for years, 

Is more tasteful with age, and more precious appears. 

Now we look back again on those terrible days. 

And would give to each one his due meed of praise. 

For those who were killed, tears of sorrow will fall. 

And warm hearts in remembrance still beat for them all. 

Now our flag waves serene, and its stars brightly shine, 
And the sun gilds its stripes with a halo divine, 
I will drink to the past in a bumper of wine. 
That past which to many seemed doubtful at first 
Was hopeful to me e'en when looking its worst. 

In the history of the world's sieges nothing will be found where 
more patience was developed, more endurance under privations, or 
more courage shown, than by the Union forces at the siege of 
Vicksburg, while on the part of the besieged it was marked by 
their great fertility of resource in checking almost every movement 
of ours, and for the long months of suffering and hardship they 
underwent. 

It belongs of right to General Grant to tell the story of that 
event, for in no case during the war did he more clearly show his 
title to be called a great general, nor did he elsewhere more fully 
exhibit all the qualities which proved him to be a great soldier. 

If General Grant had never performed any other military act 
during the war, the capture of Vicksburg alone, with all the cir- 
cumstances attending the siege, would have entitled him to the 
highest renown. He had an enemy to deal with of greater force, 
and protected by defenses never surpassed in the art of war. 



200 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

I saw, myself (at Sevastopol), the great strongholds of the 
Malakoff tower and the Eedan the day after they were taken hy a 
combined army of one hundred thousand men ; and these strong- 
holds, which have become famous in ballad and story, never in any 
way compared with the defenses of Vicksburg, which looked as if a 
thousand Titans had been put to work to make these heights un- 
assailable. I am told that there were fifty miles of intrenchments 
thrown up one within the other. I don't know how true it is. 

The hills above, with their frowning tops standing in defiance, 
were enough to deter a foe without having intrenchments bristling 
with cannon and manned by the hardiest troops in the Confeder- 
acy. 

After it was all over, and General Grant could see the con- 
quered city lying at his feet, he could well afford to laugh at his 
traducers, who were doing all they could to hamper him by send- 
ing telegrams to the seat of Government questioning his fitness for 
so important a command. 

If those who lent themselves to such things could be followed 
through the war, it would be found that they never made a mark, 
put them where you would ; nor did they achieve any good for the 
Government. 

That was a happy Fourth of July when the Confederate flag 
came down at Vicksburg and the stars and stripes went up in its 
place, while Meade's force at Gettysburg was driving Lee's army 
back to Richmond tattered and torn. 

That day, so glorious in the annals of our history, lost nothing 
by the two brilliant events which were added to our fame, and 
made it still more dear to the heart of every true American. 

When the American flag was hoisted on the ramparts of Vicks- 
burg, my flag-ship and every vessel of the fleet steamed up or down 
to the levee before the city. We discerned a dust in the distance, 
and in a few moments General Grant, at the head of nearly all his 
generals with their staffs, rode up to the gangway, and, dismount- 
ing, came on board. That was a happy meeting — a great hand- 
shaking and general congratulation. 

I opened all my wine-lockers — which contained only Catawba — 
on this occasion. It disappeared down the parched throats which 
had tasted nothing for some time but bad water. Yet it exhila- 
rated that crowd as weak wine never did before. 

There was one man there who preserved the same quiet de- 
meanor he always bore, whether in adversity or in victory, and that 



GENERAL GRANT'S STUPENDOUS FEAT. 201 

Tras General Grant. No one, to see him sitting there with that 
calm exterior amid all the jollity, and without any staff, would 
ever have taken him for the great general who had accomplished 
one of the most stupendous military feats on record. 

There was a quiet satisfaction in his face that could not be con- 
cealed, but he behaved on that occasion as if nothing of importance 
had occurred. 

General Grant was the only one in that assemblage who did not 
touch the simple wine offered him ; he contented himself with a 
cigar ; and let me say here that this was his habit during all the 
time he commanded before Vicksburg, though the same detractors 
who made false representations of him in military matters, misrep- 
resented him also in the matter above alluded to. 

For my part, I was more than pleased to see Vicksburg fall, for 
I realized my proudest hopes in beholding the great Father of 
"Waters opened to the sea, and lived to see all my predictions ful- 
filled. I was one of the first who urged that all the power of the 
Government should be exerted to get possession of this stronghold, 
and I gave my whole attention during the siege to bring about 
this most desirable event. 



CHAPTER XVIII. 

A CHIEF OF STAFF AISTD A CHIEF COOK — DEMOCRATIC MEETIITG II«r 
THE BACKWOODS OF *' EGYPT" — A JOHK GILPIN" RACE. 

After the fall of Vicksburg I proceeded to Mound City, Illi- 
nois, to superintend affairs on the Tennessee and Cumberland Riv- 
ers, and to increase the size of the Mississippi squadron, which had 
diminished in numbers since the commencement of the siege. 

It would be as difficult to do full justice to the navy for its per- 
sistent efforts to put an end to the siege of Vicksburg as it would 
be to the army for its fortitude amid privations and dangers and 
its discipline maintained during so peculiar a condition of affairs. 

I am sure that General Grant will with pleasure testify to the 
zeal with which the naval forces before Vicksburg at all times co- 
operated with the army. 



202 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

On my arrival at Mound City, I found the place under water, 
owing to a rise in the Mississippi and its tributaries, and we might 
truly be said to live among the trees. 

Quite a controversy was prevailing with regard to rank between 
the oflBcers of the line and staff, and Captain Pennock, chief of 
staff, had his hands full in trying to reconcile the numerous diffi- 
culties and misunderstandings. In fact, I found that I had arrived 
just in time to prevent a regular row at the station. 

The surgeon of the fleet, Dr. P., was one of the cleverest of 
men personally and professionally, and afforded a fresh illustra- 
tion of the old saying that the most valuable goods are generally 
put up in the smallest packages. The fleet-surgeon was of a social 
disposition, and a favorite with everybody, but woe to any one who 
ran counter to him on the subject of rank, or invaded what he con- 
sidered his rights. He would get out his brace of Derringers, and 
whoever had affronted him must make the amende lionorable or 
fight. 

I had fitted up a large steamboat, captured from the enemy, as 
a hospital-ship to follow the squadron on the eve of a battle and 
take on board the wounded. The Red Rover was fitted with every 
comfort, and poor Jack, when sick and wounded, was cared for in a 
style never before dreamed of in the navy. All these arrangements 
were made under the supervision of the fleet-surgeon, who had 
full charge of the vessel when completed, but at the same time she 
had a commanding officer, an old steamboat man who maintained 
discipline among the crew. 

I had been intimate with Dr. P. from the time when I was 
a youngster, and he took advantage of this intimacy to come to me 
at all hours with complaints, and if I did not succeed in pacify- 
ing him in one way, I usually did in another. 

One day the doctor came to me. *' Admiral," said he, "these 
fellows around here whom I rank all to pieces are running their 
rigs on me about my command, and laughing at me because I can't 
wear a pennant. Now, sir, I want you to give me ^ flag to wear. 
I am next in rank to you, and I think it hard I should be ridiculed 
by these youngsters." 

*' Why, Doctor," I replied, " that would be an unheard-of thing 
to give the fleet-surgeon a flag ; as it is, you are enjoying unusual 
authority, being actually in command of a vessel of war, for the 
captain of the Red Rover is directed to obey all your commands, 
notwithstanding the Regulations of the Navy provide that medical 



THE FLEET-SURGEON WANTS A FLAG TO WEAR. 203 

officers shall exercise no military authority. If I give you a flag, 
the line officers will think I have gone crazy." 

^*0h, no, Admiral," said the doctor ; "if you grant my request 
no one will think anything of it. It will increase my prestige. 
You know this is a peculiar kind of a service ; give me a flag, and 
my happiness will be complete." 

*'Well, Doctor," I said, "I will think about it." 

" Now there's another matter. Admiral," said the doctor ; " I 
think the Red Rover ought to have a gun to protect herself in case 
of attack." 

'' But," I rejoined, " hospital vessels are held sacred in all civ- 
ilized countries, and no one will trouble you ; besides, the Mississippi 
is open its whole length, and there are no guerrillas along the banks." 

''Yes, sir," replied the doctor, *'but I might want to fire a sig- 
nal-gun, and I might as well carry a thirty -pounder so that I can be 
ready to fight and make signals too." 

" Well, I will consider the matter," I said, and the little doctor 
went off delighted. 

In three days I had a flag of yellow bunting with an anchor in 
the center for the hospital ship, to be carried at the middle pole, 
and a thirty-pounder rifle for the bow. 

The doctor was delighted when he went on deck one morning 
and found his flag streaming from the pole, while the stars and 
stripes floated at the stern and the jack ornamented the bow. He 
immediately put on his full-dress coat and called upon me to thank 
me, little dreaming that his thirty-pounder rifle was made of wood. 

The doctor commenced immediately to claim increased rank, 
and for the next two weeks there was a constant controversy be- 
tween him and the commanding officers of the gun-boats. 

Although these difficulties were not brought officially before 
me, yet I heard of them, and was thinking of some way to remedy 
them, when an amusing circumstance occurred which brought the 
fleet-surgeon down from his high horse. 

One day the doctor dined with me, and, as he loved his glass of 
wine, he was feeling very dignified when he got up to go on board 
his vessel, for the regulations required that no one should be absent 
from his command after sunset. 

As the fleet-surgeon passed over the side the sentry presented 
arms, the officer of the deck touched his hat, and the doctor 
straightened up with the consciousness that he was now a person of 
increased importance. 



20J: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

As he walked tip the levee he met a sailor who had evidently 
been indulging in the flowing bowl, for he pitched about like a ship 
in a gale of wind and took up the whole of the roadway, finally 
running afoul of the little doctor, which brought them both up 
" all standing," as the nautical phrase is. 

" Whaz the mazzer with you ?" said the sailor ; "ain't you got 
nary pilot aboard ? " 

" What's the matter with you ? " roared the doctor ; " can't you 
see where you are going ? " 

" Yes," replied the man, *' see well 'nuff, an', d — n it, you get out 
of my way or I'll knock hole 'tween wind and wasser." 

*' Why don't you touch your hat to me, you scoundrel ? " said 
the doctor. 

*' Touch my hat to you ? " he said ; " wha' for ? " 

" Don't you see my uniform ? don't you know who I am ? '* 

'^No, my little man," said the sailor; "who the devil are you 
anyhow ? " 

" I am the fleet-surgeon of the Mississippi squadron ! " 

" thunder ! " exclaimed the other ; " well, little fellow, you've 
got a good berth an' you'd better hole on to it ; but I'm a huckle- 
berry above that persimmon, 'cause I'm the chief cook of the Mis- 
sissippi Squadron, an' you can't come any of yer chief surgeon over 
me," and with that he staggered off, grumbling, " Chief surgeon, 
indeed, expectin' chief cook touch hat to him — wlias the world 
comin' to ? " 

The doctor gazed on the fellow as he tumbled on board the 
flag-ship, and if he had had one of his Derringers handy I fear it 
would have been all up with the chief cook ; but, as he hadn't, he 
returned to his own vessel a wiser man. He had eaten too many 
of the chief cook's dinners not to know the importance of that func- 
tionary, so he didn't mention the occurrence. 

But there is always some one around to pick up a good joke and 
tell it, so I was soon informed of what had happened. 

Next day, when several officers were dining with me, among 

them Dr. P , I told the story of the chief surgeon and the chief 

cook, and no one laughed heartier than the doctor. From that time 
forth he was less exacting on the subject of rank, though occasion- 
ally he would talk of using his Derringers. 

The doctor was a strong Democrat and a great politician, though 
there was not a more loyal officer in the service. He claimed that 
there were as many Democrats as Kepublicans in both the army and 



DEMOCRATIC MEETING IN "EGYPT," ILLINOIS. 205 

the navy, in which I believe he was not far out of the way. In 
fact, many persons stigmatized as ''Copperheads" during the war 
were really opposed to the Rebellion, yet such was the morbid con- 
dition of the public mind that neither party could see any virtue 
in the other, and the wonder is that the civil war was ever termi- 
nated until, like the Kilkenny cats, both parties had been devoured. 

I never encouraged officers to discuss politics at all, and, as a 
rule, officers of the navy were exempt from political bias, and con- 
sidered that it was their duty to heartily support the Government 
in any measures which might be taken to preserve the Union. This 
was my view of the subject, and I tried to impress it upon others, 
and succeeded in excluding politics from the mess-table. 

But I could not control the fleet-surgeon, who would ride ten 
miles on horseback to attend a political meeting, in which he would 
denounce the Administration and maintain that without the Demo- 
cratic soldiers and Democratic money the Union cause would be 
hopeless. 

With such views, expressed in a very forcible manner, the little 
doctor was likely to get into trouble, and I received one or two com- 
munications from Washington about him which made me fear that 
I might lose his services unless he became more guarded in his 
utterances. 

Mound City, where the naval station was situated, is in that 
part of Illinois known as "Egypt," and the condition of the rural 
population in that quarter was rather primitive. 

" A great Democratic meeting " was to be held on a certain day 
a few miles from Mound City, and the little doctor resolved to be 
present. He therefore provided himself with a speech, borrowed a 
racing mare from me, and, clothed in his uniform, set out for the 
scene of action. 

There was a large assemblage of persons of the genuine peanut- 
and-molasses-candy stripe, and, when the fleet-surgeon hove in sight 
on his racing mare, he was received with loud applause. 

Speaking was fairly under way at the time, and a blood-and- 
thunder orator was laying down what he affirmed to be the true 
principles of Democracy, when the doctor interrupted him, calling 
out, "You don't know what Democracy means as laid down by 
Thomas Jefferson ! " 

"Who in thunder are you?" said the orator. "You're too 
small a man to be a Democrat ; we want fellows big enough to 
vote." 



206 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

The doctor felt for his pistol, but, fortunately, he had left it on 
shipboard, so, shaking his fist at the orator, he sang out, "Wait till 
I get the floor, and I will strip off all your borrowed plumes and 
show you up in your true colors ! " 

''Let the little fellow speak !" cried out a dozen voices ; ''let's 
hear what true Democratic principles are," and a large man picked 
the doctor up and dumped him upon the platform. 

"There, now, my little man," said his bearer, "let's hear a true 
exposition of Democratic principles. You ain't much to look at, 
but I'll bet you know more about Democracy than any one in this 
crowd." 

The doctor did not require any urging ; such an opportunity 
did not occur every day, and he at once commenced his speech : 

" Fellow-citizens ! you see before you a man who has never failed 
to maintain the true principles of Democracy under all circum- 
stances — " 

"Louder! louder!" shouted the crowd; "let's see the little 
man. He's got a heap of wisdom inside that brass-bound coat of 
his ! "Who is he, anyhow ? Tom Thumb ! Daniel Lambert ! " and 
so on, until the doctor grew quite bewildered. 

An empty hogshead was brought forward and the doctor placed 
thereon, in order that he might be visible to his audience. 

"Now go ahead !" they shouted ; "don't be bashful ; don't be 
afraid ; nobody will hurt you ! " 

"If I had my pistols here I'd show you who's afraid," said the 
surgeon, whose dander was now up. At which the crowd gave him 
three cheers that made the welkin ring. 

The doctor soon regained his composure, and commenced again, 
" Fellow-citizens ! you see before you — " and suddenly the head 
of the hogshead gave way and the orator disappeared from 
view. 

He was fished out mad as a hornet, while the crowd shouted : 
"Get another hogshead ! lift him on your shoulders ! let's hear all 
about the true Democratic principles," etc. But the doctor had 
seen enough of these wild cats, as he called them, and would not 
say another word. He mounted his mare and started for home, a 
sadder and wiser man than when he left it. 

Just after he was fairly under way a large man on horseback, in 
the uniform of a colonel, overtook him and entered into conversa- 
tion, and they jogged along quite pleasantly. 

Pretty soon there was a clattering of horses' hoofs behind them. 



A RACE THAT DISTANCED JOHN GILPIN'S. 207 

and tliey beheld the blood-and-thunder orator, mounted on a big 
roan horse, coming at a dead run and shouting like mad. 

Both the mare and the colonel's horse pricked up their ears and 
became so restless that it required the utmost exertions of their 
riders to hold them. The orator, as he came up, gave the doctor's 
mare a sharp cut with his whip, singing out, " Come on, little man, 
let's see if you can ride as well as you can talk ! " 

The mare started as if shot from a gun, the colonel's horse started 
after the mare, and all three dashed off at a rate of speed that would 
have distanced John Giljjin. 

Crowds of people were met along the road, all going to the 
Democratic meeting, and all drew out of the way to let the racers 
goby. 

The doctor's trousers had worked up above his knees, displaying 
his red flannel drawers in all their beauty, and the wayfarers shouted 
lustily, *' Go it, little red-legs ! " '' Go it, Colonel ! " " Go it, 
Bully Bludger ! " 

Suddenly a bridge hove in sight which the soldiers were repair- 
ing. They had removed the planks from one side, leaving a narrow 
passage for travelers. The mare took the lead, never deviating from 
a straight course, and with a flying leap cleared the opening ; but, 
alas ! for the little doctor ; he lost his seat and fell plump into the 
swamp ! The other riders, more fortunate or more expert in the 
management of their steeds, kept the side road and went flying on 
after the mare, which, relieved of the weight of her rider, ran faster 
than ever, and reached the gangway of the Black Hawk covered 
with foam. 

The doctor had eight miles to walk, his uniform was covered with 
mud, and altogether he was so battered that his friends would hardly 
have recognized him. 

Next day I sent for him to come and dine with me, and he ap- 
peared, looking as neat as usual. 

In the course of conversation I remarked, " How are politics 
getting along nowadays ? " 

The doctor looked at me suspiciously. " Well, sir," he replied, 
" I have come to the conclusion that politics in Egypt are a farce ; 
they are whisky politics altogether. I haven't seen a man in this 
county who understands Democratic principles as laid down by Jef- 
ferson ; in fact, I don't think they are understood anywhere outside 
of Maryland ; but, sir, if you'll sell me that mare of yours I'll prom- 
ise to give up politics altogether. " Then the doctor told me the 



208 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

whole story of his escapade, for he couldn't keep anything from me 
to save his life. 

The reader may wonder what I was doing with a racing mare. 
I had quite a stud of horses on hoard the flag-ship, and they were 
almost indispensable at times for sending messages to army head- 
quarters, etc. 

We generally tied up to the hank instead of anchoring in the 
stream, and made little use of boats. 

The fleet-surgeon kept to his resolution and attended no more 
political meetings while in the West, but after the war, when he 
had returned to Maryland, he became again an ardent politician, 
and at one time attempted to run for Congress, which he insisted 
was his legitimate sphere. The doctor was a credit to his corps, 
and by his death I lost an inestimable friend. 

There are other amusing incidents in the doctor's career with 
which he was wont to delight his friends, for no one told a story 
better than he did, but my limits forbid their insertion here. 



CHAPTER XIX. 

SHERMAN" STAETS FROM MEMPHIS TO GO TO CHATTANOOGA — FINDS 
A THIRTT-POUN'D SHOT IN HIS STOMACH — THE N"AVT RELIEVE 
HIM — BRIDGES AND FERRY-BOATS IN ABUNDANCE — REACHES 
CHATTANOOGA IN TIME. 

About the last of November, 1863, I was standing on the upper 
deck of the Black Hawk, at Mound City, when I saw a large steamer 
coming up the river. She stopped abreast of the flag-ship, and the 
captain hailed to inquire if I was on board. 

When satisfied on that point the captain informed me that he was 
just from Memphis, and that General Sherman had left there to 
join General Grant at Chattanooga, Tenn., with thirty-six thousand 
men. 

I was surprised at this intelligence, as I had not heard that such 
a move was contemplated, as Grant and Sherman were accustomed 
to inform me of any movement they were about to make where 
the services of the navy would be required, and in this case the 
navy might be of great use. 



SHERMAN ON THE BANKS OF THE TENNESSEE. 209 

I questioned the captain of tlie steamer closely, and was satisfied 
that his statement was correct. I immediately issued orders for 
a certain number of vessels to be ready to move at daylight next 
morning ; and I suggested to the army quartermaster the advisa- 
bility of sending some transports loaded with stores along with the 
gun-boats, in case General Sherman should require them. 

Colonel McAllister, who was an energetic man, went immedi- 
ately to work, and by daylight his vessels were ready, loaded with 
everything an army could require. 

When General Fremont commanded in the West he had built 
a number of flat-bottomed barges for the transportation of troops, 
one hundred and fifty feet in length and twenty-five in width. The 
value of these flat-boats did not seem to be appreciated, and they 
appear to have been little used. They would break adrift from their 
fastenings at Louisville, or Cincinnati, or wherever they were kept, 
and come floating down the Ohio, and, as I had tugs patrolling the 
river night and day, they picked up this flotsam and jetsam and 
brought it into port, where it was appropriated to naval uses. In 
this way we acquired six or eight barges admirably suited for flying 
bridges, by which an army could cross a river, and three or four of 
them were now prepared to go ujd in tow of the gun-boats. 

I also sent along a large ferry-boat that we happened to have on 
hand, and omitted nothing that I thought would be wanted in cross- 
ing an army over a river. 

The whole expedition was placed under command of Captain 
Phelps, and he was directed to lose no time in reaching luka, or 
** Muscle Shoals," where it was likely Sherman would attempt to 
cross the Tennessee River, expecting to find low water and an easy 
fording place. 

I selected the lightest-draught gun-boats I had, some of them not 
drawing over twelve inches of water — in popular language, *' they 
could run on a heavy dew." 

Captain Phelps worked manfully to force his steamers over the 
numerous shoals he encountered. The vessels were fitted with long 
spars on their bows, and when they came to a shoal the spars would 
be fixed firmly in the ground, the vessel forced ahead, her bow 
lifted, and she would spring ten or twelve feet in advance, and this 
manoeuvre would be repeated until the shoal was passed. 

On the third day, however, there was no further necessity for 
"jumping," for the water began to rise, indicating a freshet above. 

I had received due notice, by certain signs, that the river was 

14 



210 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

rising, and I felt sure that Sherman would have difl&culty in getting 
his army across. The general made forced marches, but, when his 
advance arrived at the banks of the Tennessee, they found the shoals 
covered with water and the river rising rapidly. 

Sherman made several attempts to cross his wagons, but the 
water was too deep and the current too strong. Then he tried 
bridge-building, but without success — the river was now "boom- 
ing " and rising at the rate of twenty inches an hour. 

General Sherman's experience told him that there was no hope 
of getting across that river for many days to come, and the situa- 
tion was getting rather embarrassing. 

He had started under the impression that he would reach the 
river at a time when the water would be at its lowest point, and he 
would be able to cross it dry-shod. But who can tell the vagaries 
of the Tennessee and Cumberland Rivers ? They may be dry one 
day, with the prospect of so continuing for weeks, and in two hours 
the water may be carrying everything before it. 

General Sherman thus found himself checkmated. To use his 
own words, he was very much disgusted with everything, and, as 
nothing could be done, he rode back to his headquarters, which 
had been established two or three miles from the river, threw him- 
self upon his camp-cot, and "felt as if he had a thirty-two-pound 
shot in his stomach." 

I can imagine what his feelings must have been on the eve of a 
great battle where his presence was expected and he unable to move. 
A certain combination could not be made, owing to circumstances 
over which he had no control, and yet the combination might have 
been made perfect if I had been given a week's notice of the in- 
tended move by General Grant. 

I presume that Grant thought Sherman would notify me, but 
it all turned out right in the end, although the expedition came 
near ending in disappointment. 

As Sherman lay on his camp-cot, trying to digest the thirty-two- 
pound shot which he felt in the pit of his stomach, he heard the 
clatter of horses' hoofs, and, looking from his tent, saw half a dozen 
cavalrymen coming toward him at full speed waving their caps. 

The general didn't know whether the river had suddenly fallen 
or whether the fairies had built a bridge across the stream, but he 
felt that something good had happened, and was no longer troubled 
with the thirty-two-pound shot when the soldiers informed him that 
the admiral, with all the gun-boats, was coming up the river. 



SHERMAN AT CHATTANOOGA. 211 

The general forthwith mounted his horse, and arrived at the 
river-bank in time to see Captain Phelps's squadron of fourteen ves- 
sels coming around a bend. 

The soldiers had mistaken Phelps's divisional commander's flag 
for that of the admiral. However, it made no difference, for I was 
there in spirit, and no doubt there was many a man in Sherman's 
camp who would have appreciated the sentiment of General Oster- 
haus's aide-de-camp — "Effery soltier ought ter garry a gun-poat 
mit his bocket ! " 

There was great rejoicing in Sherman's army at the arrival of 
the gun-boats, the ferry-boat, and the barges, and Sherman was so 
glad to see Phelps that he almost shook his arm off. No time was 
lost in utilizing the material sent for the use of the army, and a 
bridge was thrown across the stream which defied the swift current. 
The ferry-boat and the smaller gun-boats lent their aid to transport 
the soldiers across the river, and in thirty-six hours Sherman and 
his men were on the other side, marching to join Grant, and re- 
joicing that there were such things as gun - boats, although the 
army did once have to march after them in the Yazoo country to 
keep the rebels from filling up the ditches with their debris. 

Thus it was that the army and the navy in the West were a 
compensation to each other, and though at one time the soldiers 
might think "Effery soltier ought to garry a gun-poat mit his 
bocket," at another the sailors would have an opportunity of be- 
lieving that every gun-boat should carry a regiment of soldiers in 
the foretop. In fighting on inland waters each was a necessity to 
the other. 

Sherman reached Chattanooga in time to take a prominent 
part in the victory, and, when it is recollected how desperately the 
Confederates contested the ground on that day, we may properly 
inquire, What would have been the result if Sherman's splendid 
army had been delayed longer in crossing that river ? 

"Old Tecumseh"did not mention this little circumstance in 
his "Memoirs," and no doubt forgot it amid the multiplicity of events 
that were occurring, for there was no one who more thoroughly 
appreciated the alertness of the navy in giving effective assistance 
to the army at all times, or who was more prompt to give it credit 
for its services. 

Yet it was too much the custom in the West to ignore the ser- 
vices of the gun-boats, which, at the beginning of the civil war, had 
been attached to the army, and were at that period under the im- 



212 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

mediate direction of the commanding general. And while such an 
arrangement is a proper one, where, under the circumstances, the 
navy must be an adjunct to the army, yet the officers and men of 
the navy should always have full credit for the service they per- 
form. 



CHAPTER XX. 

WHO STARTED THE BED RIVER EXPEDITION" ? — JAPHET IN" SEARCH 
OF A FATHER — GENERAL A. J. SMITH MAKES A FORCED MARCH 
OF THIRTY-TWO MILES — CAPTURES FORT DE RUSSY — SECOND 
CAPTURE OF ALE:^ANDRIA — GENERAL BANKS ARRIVES IN" HIS 
HEADQUARTERS BOAT, BLACK HAWK — CHAMPAGNE AND COT- 
TON BAGGING — A DERELICT HOSPITAL STEWARD — A REVIEW OF 
"RAGGED guerrillas" — A. J. SMITH'S SOLDIERS CRITICISE 
BANKS'S ARMY — TEARS WON'T MAKE SOUP, CHICKEN WILL — 
I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOURSELF ON MY HORSE — MRS. HOLMES 
GIVES THE ADMIRAL A GOOD CHARACTER — MRS. HOLMES'S 
STORY ABOUT THE COTTON TRADE — THE NAVY BECOMES DEMOR- 
ALIZED — BLOCKED OUT AT SHREVEPORT RIVER — GUNBOATS 
TURN BACK IN THEIR TRACKS — BANKS DEFEATED — THE NAVY 
DEFEATS GENERAL GREEN'S ARMY — THE GENERAL'S HEAD 
SHOT OFF — A HORSE WITH A HEADLESS RIDER — SAFE ARRIVAL 
AT GRAND ECORE — BANKS BORN UNDER A LUCKY STAR. 

No one ever knew who started the expedition generally called 
the Banks Expedition up the Eed River, or what its object was. 
No one cared to father it after it was over, for it was one of the 
most disastrous affairs that occurred during the war. 

It was like Japhet in search of a father. It was undertaken at a 
season of the year when it could not possibly succeed if it was the 
intention that any number of transports should accompany it, as 
well as gun-boats. 

Sherman had proposed to me once or twice an excursion into 
the Red River country, and I had agreed to go whenever he could 
get ready ; and for the purpose I went down to Natchez to meet 
him, but he had to make a move upon Meridian, and that, for the 
moment, put a stop to the expedition. 

Sherman was well posted in all that related to the Red River — 



THE RED RIVER EXPEDITION. 213 

its rises and falls, and the season of the year when it would be best 
to undertake an expedition up it. He had, for a long time before 
the war, been president of a Southern college located on this river 
right opposite to Alexandria, and, having the faculty of observing 
everything that came under his notice, did not fail to make him- 
self acquainted with all the vagaries of the stream, which is one of 
the most uncertain in the South — sometimes most turbulent, and 
again running along so mildly that it seemed to have no life in it 
at all. The Red River is the most treacherous of all rivers ; there 
is no counting upon it, according to the rules which govern other 
streams, and when you would bet your all that there would be a 
rise, ten to one the water would be lower than ever. Therefore it 
would require great judgment to properly enter on an expedition 
in that quarter if vessels of any size were to accompany it. 

When I met Sherman at Natchez he said, emphatically, that it 
would be useless to attempt an expedition then with any hopes of 
success, and that we would have to defer it until late in the season ; 
and, as I had the most implicit confidence in his judgment, I was 
satisfied to wait. 

We did not propose simply an expedition to Alexandria ; that 
I had already undertaken by myself, and had found no diflSculty 
in capturing the place. 

Just at the time when Sherman had given up the idea of going 
on an expedition to Shreveport, General Banks proposed to him 
and to me that we should join him in an expedition into the Red 
River country. Sherman went down the river to communicate with 
him on the subject, and informed him that he could not go him- 
self, but would lend him ten thousand men, under General A. J. 
Smith, and I also consented to accompany the expedition with a 
large force of gun-boats. I objected at first to the arrangement on 
the ground that there was no chance of success, owing to the con- 
dition of the river, but Banks urged that if I did not go, and there 
should be a failure, the blame would be mine ; so I reluctantly ac- 
companied him. 

I am not going to write an account of that expedition ; a full 
and graphic history of it would make a large book by itself, and a 
very interesting one at that. Perhaps the general in his declining 
years may think it worth his while to use the talents he is known 
to possess in an eminent degree to write a history of that cam- 
paign. He has never yet made a full report on the subject to the 
Government, and all that I have ever seen from him in relation to 



214 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

the matter is his evidence before the Congressional Committee on 
the war, which was not characterized by that fairness to the navy 
which should belong to a general in the army. 

I did myself spend a whole winter in collecting notes of infor- 
mation and in writing a strictly true and complete account of the 
Banks campaign, compiled from such public documents as I could 
obtain, from letters received from army officers connected with the 
expedition, and from my own observations. It will keep, however, 
and I don't propose to make any extracts from it here. I may 
attempt to show how faithfully the navy performed its part of the 
operations, but I don't know that I shall do much of that even. 
" Good wine needs no bush " is an old and good saying, and I 
think that the navy had very little cause to exculpate itself on any 
occasion when it co-operated with the army, and never entertained 
a difference of opinion when it came in contact with regular offi- 
cers. 

As soon as General A. J. Smith was ready to move, we started off 
together down the Mississippi for the mouth of the Red Eiver, and 
ascended that stream as high as Bayou Teche, where General Smith 
landed and proposed to march to Fort De Russy, now rebuilding, 
while the gun-boats were to proceed up the river, remove the ob- 
structions, and attack the fort. Since I was there last the Confed- 
erates had repaired the works and had made considerable additions 
to them, while they had also barricaded the river at the forts with 
a heavy timber-raft, bolted together with iron, and six feet in 
thickness. It was a formidable obstruction, and report said it 
would completely bar the way. 

The river below was also full of obstructions, such as heavy 
piles driven down into the bed of the river. These latter covered 
a space two hundred yards in length, and looked as if calculated to 
keep out any number of vessels. The u^jper part of the piling had 
caught hundreds of logs and held them, and, if wa had not arrived 
when we did, the river would have been blocked all the way to 
Alexandria. When I first saw these lower obstructions I began to 
think that the enemy had blocked the game on us, and how aston- 
ished General Smith would be when he arrived in front of the forts 
and found no gun-boats to help him ! It would be mortifying to 
me, and might be disastrous to him ; but, after looking at the 
obstructions carefully for a few minutes, I said, *'Bosh ! to think 
of these fellows trying to block out a party who had been on the 
Deer Creek expedition in the Yazoo country, who had pulled up 



GENERAL A. J. SMITH'S FORCED MARCH. 215 

Titanic trees by the roots and removed giant oaks from their 
paths when cut down to stop their progress ; who forced their way 
up through seventy-five miles of logs, canebrakes, and small wil- 
lows under a hot fire from sharp-shooters ! Why, this is simply 
silly, and shows how these Confederates waste their time to no pur- 
pose. What indefatigable energy ! What a waste of money and 
horse-power ! Blessed is the power of steam, by which we can 
undo, in a few hours, the labor of years ; and blessed is the edict of 
the gods, that * whom they wish to destroy make idiots of them- 
selves,' or words to that effect ! " 

What folly for any one to attempt to keep a naval force out of 
harbors and rivers by torpedoes and barricades when they have not 
heavy forts to protect the obstructions, or a superior naval force ! 
You might as well try to obstruct Niagara Falls with tooth-picks 
or quill pop-guns. 

When I had made up my mind about these obstructions which 
looked so formidable, I simj^ly gave the order, "Clear that 
away I " 

Who that has not been to sea knows the devices of sailors for 
removing this kind of stuff ? A timber-hitch with a hawser around 
a pile, the hawser belayed to the bitt-heads, and half a dozen turns 
back with the wheels, or screw, and the whole thing is done ; and 
in this way a dozen gun-boats went to work, and in two hours 
undid the work of many months. 

The piles were pulled out of the mud faster than dentists pull 
teeth, and with no complaints from the patient. Then came the 
rush of the floating logs. We had a short tussle to send them out 
into the middle of the stream, where they drifted on until they 
were emptied into the Mississippi, to be carried by that stream 
down to New Orleans, where they would furnish fuel enough for 
the poor population of that city for a whole winter. 

But the delay of that work, short as it was, proved fatal to our 
hopes and expectations of being the captors of Fort De Kussy. 

We put on all the steam we could carry, but, when we got with- 
in two miles of the place, we heard the sound of heavy musketry 
firing, as well as of field-guns, and we knew that General Smith 
was there before us. 

He made a forced march of thirty-two miles — one of such 
marches as only his men could make — and, when we turned the 
point with the gun-boats a mile from the heavy works. General 
Smith's men were hotly engaged, and ten thousand of the best 



216 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

soldiers I ever saw were pouring in a deadly fire upon three thou- 
sand who had sought the shelter of the earth-works. 

It was wonderful to see how our men would advance from tree 
to tree, covering themselves as they went along, until they got 
within fifty yards of the enemy's works and almost surrounded 
them. This was the condition of affairs when the flag-ship Benton 
poked her nose around the point and opened on the enemy with 
her famous bow-battery. They waited for no more, but retreated 
through ways known to themselves, and they were not out of the 
works before Smith's men, headed by General Mower, were inside 
and had taken possession. 

The victory, of course, belonged to the soldiers, though, no 
doubt, the sudden appearance of the gun-boats, when the enemy 
thought them completely barred out, accelerated the latter's retreat. 

We might have done considerable execution among their ranks 
while they Avere retreating, but, a3 General Smith's troops were 
pursuing them and it was impossible to tell which from which 
in the melee, we contented ourselves with looking on. We did 
hope to have an old-fashioned gun-boat and fort fight, and if this 
place had been fully manned it would have been "worthy of our 
guns." 

But we lost no time in regrets. Now came the question as to 
getting rid of the heavy floating structures about the fort. Here 
the power of steam was triumphant again ; three or four gun-boats 
put their noses against one end of it, and, opening their steam 
valves, pushed it right up the stream. If the projectors were look- 
ing on from some secret hiding-place, they must have been morti- 
fied. The construction of this peculiar water-gate cost the Con- 
federates seventy thousand dollars. I gave it to the poor of the 
neighborhood for fuel, and in the course of a year very little of it 
was left. 

Then we pushed on to Alexandria, General Mower accompany- 
ing us in transports with four thousand men, while General Smith 
remained behind to destroy Fort De Russy. He said he was deter- 
mined to show these Confederates that, notwithstanding their in- 
genuity in building the strongest forts in the world, he wouldn't 
leave one stone on another. He got enough of it in three days, 
and, though at the end of that time he had somewhat changed the 
aspect of the works, their defensive power was as strong as ever ; but, 
finding that white soldiers could not compete with the negro labor 
used in their construction, he left the defaced works as a monument 



SECOND CAPTURE OF ALEXANDRIA. 217 

of the industry and energy of the Confederates, who, if they had 
only applied the same amount of labor on the cotton-fields as they 
did to their fortifications and obstructions, would have been the 
richest people in the world. But really, when we come to consider 
the herculean labors performed by the Southern people to maintain 
the cause which they considered so sacred, we can not withhold our 
admiration of their ability as soldiers. 

Without doubt, they established a new era in military engineer- 
ing which none have ever excelled, and on a scale only equaled by 
the works of the Titans of old. I am myself somewhat inclined 
to the belief that they secretly imported a lot of those traditional 
characters to assist them in their labors, but that they came in the 
guise of that important person generally known as the contra- 
band. 

We took quiet possession of Alexandria, established posts in 
and about the city, and settled down quietly to wait for General 
Banks and his army. The latter was marching up by way of the 
Opelousas road under the immediate command of General Franklin. 

Three or four days after our arrival. General Banks came up in 
a steamer called the Black Hawk, which he used as headquarters. 
She was filled up pretty much with cotton bagging, rope, cham- 
pagne and brandy, and cotton speculators. How the latter got on 
board has nothing to do with these reminiscences, and I don't care 
to surmise ; I mention it merely as an incident. 

General Banks's army had not arrived, and General Smith's 
troops were the only soldiers to be seen about the town. 

When General Smith joined me at the mouth of the river with 
his division he had, I believe, just come off a long march. The 
clothes of his men were worn and faded, their shoes were patched, 
they had no tents to sleep under, though they may have had blank- 
ets. Their tents were on the transports, and the general forbade 
their being used without his orders, I recollect hearing him de- 
nounce some officer as a " Miss Nancy kind of a fellow " because 
he slept under a shelter-tent, which is a thin piece of canvas about 
the size of a bandana handkerchief. I could never see the use of 
one myself ; it is like a turkey — too much for one and not enough 
for two ; but Smith thought it a luxury that no one under his com- 
mand should indulge in. 

General Smith had only two wagons for his whole command. 
He said wagons demoralized an army more than tents did, and if 
he had soldiers that couldn't find a restaurant in the Desert of Sa- 



218 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

hara, and a comfortable bed in the swamps of Louisiana, he wanted 
to swap them off for those who could. 

I recollect his coming on board my vessel, the Cricket, one 
morning in quite a state of excitement for him. ''Admiral," he 
said, " I want you to give me a pair of leg-irons ; I want to punish 
a fellow for disobedience of orders." 

"Certainly," I replied, "but why don't you 'buck' him if he 
has done anything very bad ? " 

"Bucking is too good for him," said the general. "He's dis- 
graced the whole command, so I want a pair of irons ; he's worse 
than a felon, sir." 

"Why, what has he done ?" I inquired; "it must be some- 
thing very bad." 

"Bad, sir, did you say? "Well, I call it atrocious; it's my 
hospital steward, and I found him sleeping out here under a tree 
on a camp-cot ! What do you think of that ? " 

I laughed. "Well," I said, "it may be pretty bad, but I 
scarcely think it deserves so great a punishment as that ; let him 
go this time with a warning." 

"With a proviso that I shoot him the next time," he added. 
" But, old fellow, my conscience would feel better if I had a little 
of your hop-bitters, alias whisky ; that's the only thing that can 
quiet me just now," and so the surgeon's steward got off. 

On the day after Banks's arrival General Smi th held a review of 
his troops for the benefit of the former. Smith's troops were not, 
as a rule, dandies ; they often looked very shabby, but their muskets 
were ever ready, and their bearing was soldierly. They were a 
splendid set of men physically, and wouldn't have feared old 
Clootie himself if told to assault his breast -works in sheol. 
They were just such soldiers as the French had in Algiers — a kind 
of bashi-bazouk, or zouaves (not exactly like Billy Wilson's 
" lambs") — and Smith wouldn't have them other than they were ; 
he taught them to despise danger and to scorn comfort, and did 
not interfere with their disposition to forage on occasion. 

These were some of the boys he defended at Bruensburg when 
he said they would not leave a mule, an old goose, or anything else 
on a man's place if they once got on it. 

The review came off, and General Banks and all his staff were 
there to see it. 

General Banks was a handsome, soldierly-looking man, though 
rather theatrical in his style of dress, which might be accounted 



A. J. SMITH'S RAGGED GUERRILLAS. 219 

for through the fact that he had at one time been on the stage — so 
I have been told. He wore yellow gauntlets high up on his wrists, 
looking as clean as if they had just come from the glove-maker ; his 
hat was picturesque, his long boots and spurs were faultless, and 
his air was that of one used to command. In short, I never saw a 
more faultless-looking soldier. His staif were not far behind him in 
appearance ; they had spent the winter in the gay saloons of the St. 
Charles, and may have lacked a little the rough-and-ready look of 
the soldiers, but they were a fine-looking set of men, and exceed- 
ingly imposing in their gay uniforms. 

The general and staff were all mounted — and well mounted at 
that — and bore themselves bravely on horseback as they rode up 
and down the lines, witnessed the manoeuvres, then bowed with 
military grace and rode off. 

" Those are ragged guerrillas," said Banks ; " those are not sol- 
diers. If a general can't dress his troops better than that he should 
disband them." 

" Walls have ears," and so have trees. This was overheard, or re- 
peated, and reached General Smith's ears. The result was the 
growth of a feud which lasted through the campaign, and extended 
to the men of Smith's corps, who held Banks's army responsible for 
that remark. 

The next day it was announced that Banks's army was only 
twenty miles distant and would make a forced march into the 
town, and every one was out to see the troops enter. 

They came along at the appointed time, not with the long, 
swinging stride I had been accustomed to in Sherman's men or 
those of the Army of the Tennessee, but with very steady step, like 
veterans, shoulder to shoulder, arms at "right shoulder shift," and 
keeping time with martial music. Eeally it was a beautiful sight, 
and I never saw a finer-looking set of troops than those. If 
Banks could not get to Shreveport with that army, I thought, he 
never could get there at all. There were, if I remember rightly, 
thirty-two thousand of them, artillery and all, and they were fol- 
lowed by two hundred wagons! It was an imposing sight. 

Among the spectators were a number of General Smith's men. 
They did not appear at all remarkable for their neatness alongside 
these Wonderfully well-dressed men, who looked as if they were 
simply on parade, and not an army that had marched twenty miles 
since breakfast. 

Some of Smith's men were dressed in their best : others were in 



220 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

their shirt-sleeves, having stopped whatever work they were engaged 
in to come out for a minute and look at the ''parade,^' as they called 
it. They were rough, brawny-looking fellows, dark as Indians and 
as hard as steel— such men as Cassar led into Germany and Gaul, 
and with which he conquered the world. They were standing in 
groups or in lines, with their bare, sinewy arms across their breasts, 
watching keenly the marching of Banks's troops. 

** Good marching that," said one. 

"Yes," said another, *'but them fellers 's been fed on pate de 
foie gras, and there's too much paper shirt-collar for me." 

" Twenty-six inches to the step," said another, "seventy steps 
to the minute ; we'd beat 'em twenty steps a minute in a march, 
which would be more'n half a mile an hour, and them havin' such 
good shoes on, too." 

This showed the animus which grew out of a simple remark 
never intended to be repeated. 

From this it may be seen how careful commanding officers 
ought to be in drawing comparisons between different corps, for, 
though but temporarily attached, perhaps, soldiers, while acting 
together, belong all to one army, and if some of them are not quite 
so well clad as others, they should be given an opportunity to be- 
come equal in all respects to their comrades-in-arms without unfa- 
vorable comment. Out of those remarks grew a hostility that came 
near breeding trouble. These soldiers of Smith's were some of the 
veterans of the war ; they had been through the siege of Vicks- 
burg, and at Arkansas Post, where I had met them, and that alone 
would entitle them to great consideration. They couldn't get over 
being called " ragged guerrillas." 

I was riding out a few days after the arrival of Banks's army, 
and saw a woman standing on a house-porch with her apron to her 
eyes ; she was crying, and talking to a soldier who held a large hen 
under his arm, while listening to her very patiently. I suspected 
there was some wrongdoing going on, and rode up to see what was 
the matter. I didn't want to be considered a Don Quixote, but I 
thought it only right that I should protect a woman against ill- 
treatment. As I advanced, the woman took her apron from her 
eyes, which were full of tears. " Mr. Officer ! " she said, looking 
at me appealingly, ** won't you speak to this soldier and get him to 
give up my hen which he has taken ? She lays an egg every day, and 
it is all the sustenance my old mother — who is seventy years old — 
can get in twenty-four hours ; it is all she can eat. Do talk to 



"TEARS WON'T MAKE SOUP, CHICKEN WILL." 221 

him," slie continued, " and saye our lien, and I will pray for you 
as long as I live." 

*' Well," I said, turning to the man and addressing him sternly, 
" you call yourself a soldier, and can stand there unmoved when a 
woman in tears is appealing to you about a hen which is the only 
means of subsistence her aged mother has ; you ought to be 
ashamed to call yourself a Union soldier." 

The man looked at me and smiled ; he had evidently been 
talked to before. 

" Do you hear my remark to you, or are you deaf ? " I de- 
manded. 

"Yes, sir," he answered, "I hearn what you say, an' I'm a 
thinkin' on it " — he was a real live Yankee if ever I heard one talk — 
" but, Mr. Admiral, I jist want to put the case to you in a practi- 
cal way : chickens will make soup and tears won't ! Now, that ere 
woman's tears ain't a bit of use to me, an' this ole hen is ; it'll 
make soup for our whole mess ; and all I've got to say is this : If 
you can make any use of them tears, you are welcome to do so. 
All I's got to say agin is this : If you've got ary a doUar about you, 
an' '11 give it to me, you kin have this ere hen an' give it to that 
ere woman ; and she'd better keep it locked up in her trunk, for 
there ain't many fellers in this army as conscientious as I am. " 

" There's your dollar," I said, handing him one ; ** give up the 
fowl, and promise me not to come here again." 

"Well, I'll do that," he said, giving the hen back to the fe- 
male, whose tears all vanished as she hugged her old friend to her 
breast ; " but, mam, may I ask the loan of your brush to get these 
feathers off my coat, 'cause them messmates of mine are rather 
partic'lar about business matters, an' if they see feathers on me 
they'd suspect chicken, an' I don't want to be bucked." 

The man brushed himself carefully and walked off. I knew it 

was not any one belonging to the 13th , for that regiment 

had certain peculiarities not to be mistaken ; and, after all, I 
thought, Banks's men are as fond of chicken as other people ; that, 
I think, is an inherent weakness in soldiers, be they ragged guer- 
rillas from Iowa or propriety men from Massachusetts, and who is 
there would envy them so small a luxury ? The hardships of a 
soldier are many, and he bears them with a manliness that can not 
be comprehended by those who stay at home and send substitutes. 
I am quite sure that if, in time of war, I had a substitute, and heard 
he was robbing the hen-roosts and cutting the throats of all the 



222 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

little piggies in the country, I would smile in approval. The only 
thing that I would require of my substitute would be that he 
should not trammel the movements of an army by carrying off 
large pier-glasses on his shoulders, which should be only capable of 
carrying musket and knapsack. There are worse foragers than 
soldiers — foragers on a larger scale, and these are frequently officers 
in command. I had to do something of it myself while in Alex- 
andria, for it was a place where a man could get but little to eat 
except salt and canned meats. Even dogs sicken and die on that 
in a short time. 

My weakness was for horses ; I always required a horse. I was 
in the saddle all the spare time I could find ; I did a good deal of 
business in the saddle, besides keeping myself in health. When I 
arrived in Alexandria I found myself without a horse. 

My flag-ship then was a small stern-wheel boat with a crew of 
only forty-eight men and six six-pounder boat-guns. I had room 
for only one horse, and he had something the matter with liim. I 
must have another horse, and so I told Gorringe, who was acting 
flag-captain pro tern. In less than three hours a beautiful black 
stallion arrived, and in the evening I took him out to try his 
mettle. 

While riding along the river-side I met a lady on horseback — 
a good-natured, buxom woman — and I raised my cap as I was 
about to pass her, but she put herself right across the road and dis- 
puted my way. 

"I hope you are enjoying yourself, sir, on my horse," she said, 
" and I am glad I have met the gentleman who borrowed him, be- 
cause I want to know the man that borrows anything from me, to 
be certain that he will return it. You aren't what they call a 
quartermaster, are you ? Because, if you are, I want to get my 
horse back again at once. You're not, eh ? Well, so much the bet- 
ter ; you can come and see me. My name's Mrs. Holmes. You'll 
find my house on the right-hand side of the road down river ; that 
horse has a trick of shying ; he'll throw you off if you let him ; 
my house is a plain yellow building with gable-ends — and he's a 
little spavined, but nothing to hurt — and there's a large dog-house 
right close to the gate, and he feeds on corn (the horse, I mean) ; 
and there, now, I haven't time to listen to you at present, but hope 
you will enjoy yourself riding my horse ; only take care of him, 
and don't forget to return him before you go away. Good-even- 
ing," and off she rode. 



MRS. HOLMES'S CHARACTER OF THE ADMIRAL. 223 

The next morning I rode down the way indicated, and deter- 
mined to call on the lady and thank her for the loan of her horse. 
I knew the house by her description of it. She was on the porch 
as I rode up, and came out to meet me. 

" I am so glad to see you," she said ; *'you are a good fellow to 
keep your promise and come to see me, though I never expected to 
lay eyes on you again. They do say of you Yankees that you can 
make use of more ' soft sodder,' and make more promises than an 
Indian, and keep none of them ; but I am going to trust you if I 
lose by it ; but I'm that mad with that thieving old admiral of 
yours that I can't hold my temper. What do you think the old 
reprobate has gone and done ? He ought to be hung on the spot, 
and if Kirby Smith gets hold of him he will hang him to the first 
tree he comes to. Here I have been all this winter curing some 
hams, and last year growing a little sugar-cane to make enough 
sugar for the family, and it's all gone ; and then the few niggers 
I had, they raised me twenty-two bales of the finest cotton you ever 
saw, and Kirby Smith was to pay me ten cents a pound for it, and 
it was to pass through the Union lines, and that cotton would have 
netted me on the ground thirteen hundred and twenty dollars. 
Union money, which would be just seventy-nine thousand two 
hundred dollars. Confederate scrip — and I would have stowed it 
away, and at the end of the war, when Confederate money was at 
par, I'd a pocketed a pot of money — when just as I was fixing it all 
up to be delivered to Kirby Smith, who was to deliver it to General 
Banks, in comes that old skinflint of an admiral, and he seizes all 
my cotton and hams and sugar, and has it sent on board his 
vessel. 

" There, now, what do you think of that ? and that horse hasn't 
thrown you yet, has he ? And he is the worst old rascal I ever heard 
of in all my born days (the admiral, I mean), and if you'll just rub 
his legs, from the knee down, every morning, with British oil, be- 
fore you use him, and every night before bedding him down (the 
horse, I mean), he will go along very well while you are here, 
which I don't think will be long, for they do say that when Kirby 
Smith ships all the cotton on the transports and gets an order for 
the money he'll give you fellows just ten days to get out of the 
country, and will capture every mother's son of you ; and I only 
hope he will capture that old admiral of yours, and I want to be at 
his hanging, and I'm not the only one by a long shot. And if 
poor dear Holmes was alive and here he'd go on board of that old 



224 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

rascal's boat and just cowhide that cotton out of liim ; but the 
poor, blessed creature, wlien he heard the war had broke out, had 
some business in Galveston, and I haven't heard of him since, and 
I am a woman and can't protect myself, and have to submit to the 
stealing of that old scapegoat. But he's got no conscience, the 
old sinner — or I might say shinner, for both names suit him." 

"But, my dear madam," I said, taking the floor from her 
abruptly and not at all surprised that Mr. Holmes had permanently 
emigrated to Texas, ''I am surprised that you have come to such 
conclusions without being better posted. The very day we arrived 
here the admiral issued a positive order that all private property 
should be respected, and if you have lost anything it will be restored 
to you." 

"Bosh !" she said ; "and you are fool enough to believe that 
kind of stuff ? If he issued any order, it was that he might do all 
the stealing himself. Don't you trust him ; I know all about the 
old villain. Do you know him personally ? " 

" Yes, madam," I replied, " I am very intimate with him, and 
shall take the first opportunity to let him know of this outrage and 
your opinion of him, and you will see how quickly he will remedy 
it. Do you know the name of the vessel and the captain who took 
your property ? " 

"Yes, I do," she replied; "don't you suppose I followed my 
property to your old admiral's stow-hole ? Didn't I ask one of the 

sailors, and didn't he tell me the vessel was the ironclad , 

Captain L. ? Yes, he did, and a big red-faced man he is (I mean 
the captain), and looks like a man who would not mind robbing a 
hen-roost ; I suppose he goes ' snaks ' with that cotton-stealer, 
the admiral." 

"Well, my good madam," I said, "I will lay the whole matter 
before the admiral, and if he doesn't right matters I am mis- 
taken." 

"You dear, good man," she said, "I believe you will, and you 
can keep my horse as long as you like, only return him ; and now 
you just come in and take some mince-pie and milk ; I made it 
myself (the pie, I mean), and both of them make twenty pounds 
of butter a week (my two cows, I mean), and they are — " 

" Yes, madam, I will step in and enjoy the milk and mince- 
pie," and I walked on the porch and regaled myself upon what 
I had not tasted for some years. 

"When I returned to the vessel, I sent at once for the captain 



VISIT TO MRS. HOLMES. 225 

of the , and inquired of liim about the charge made against 

him by Mrs. Holmes, which he admitted, his excuse being that he 
thought it public property, as he was satisfied that it belonged to 
the Confederate Government, though it was not marked "C. S. 
A.," the brand with which nearly all cotton was marked. 

I told him to return all the cotton, sugar, and hams at once, 
and that I would only give him four hours to do it in ; and, if he 
had not men enough to handle it, to borrow from some other ves- 
sel ; that I didn't know whether I would try him by court-martial 
or not, and that I would censure him in a general order, which I 
did that afternoon. 

Suffice it to say that the goods were all returned to Mrs. Holmes 
intact, and in the time I specified. 

I rode down to Mrs. Holmes's next day to see if the order had 
been properly executed. 

Mrs. Holmes saw me a long way off from the porch, and ran 
out to the gate to meet me. 

" Oh, you dear, good man ! " she exclaimed, " I got all my things 
back ; not a thing lost, thanks to you, and no thanks to that old 
cotton-stealer, your admiral ; I know all about him, and they say 
he steals cotton by the thousand bales at a time. I've almost a 
mind to give you that horse of mine ; only you've been too good a 
friend to me, and I won't deceive you ; he's spavined in both legs, 
and, if you were to ride him ten miles and let him stand half an 
hour, he couldn't move an inch. I'll do better than that by you ; 
I'll give you a horse fit to carry a king." 

*' Sell him to me," I said ; " I don't take gifts." 

**I can't sell him," said Mrs. Holmes ; *'he isn't mine to sell ; 
he belongs to a Confederate colonel who was wounded at Fort De 
Eussy. The colonel is up-stairs, and the horse is in my stable ; you 
can have him." 

"Is the colonel on parole ?" I asked. 

"No," she replied, "he is nearly well now, and is going down 
the river in a boat to-night ; he can't take his horse, and will leave 
him in my care, so you can have him." 

" Thank you, no," I said, " I can't have anything to do with the 
matter ; I want to know nothing about it. It is not my place to go 
about and pick up wounded men who are on a sick-bed and make 
prisoners of them, so I won't betray your confidence ; yet don't tell 
me any more, or I may have to inform on you." 

" You dear, good man ! " said Mrs. Holmes, again returning to 
16 



226 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

her adjectives, " and what can I do for you ? Let mo do some 
kind act ? " 

** Only lend me your spavined horse until I leave here," I re- 
plied, "and that is all the favor I ask." 

''There is one thing you must do," she said, "and that is, give 
me your name before you go." 

'* That I will do with pleasure, and, if you will give me pen, 
ink, and paper, I will write it down for you." 

She ran off for the articles, and soon returned with them. I 
wrote my name in full, and under it " The great old robber of the 
widow and the orphan." 

I handed it to her and she read it. Her face turned the color 
of a peony. 

'* It can't be," she said, in a husky voice. " Have I been such a 
fool as that ? Oh, no, you are fooling me, and yet I might have 
known it if I had thought a minute," and the good woman sat 
down and did what all women do under difficulties — she cried. 
Then she went out and brought me in a glass of milk. "There," 
she said, '*' I am so ashamed of myself that I can't talk." 

" Well, my good lady, I have only one piece of advice to give 
you : don't believe every man who tells you that a Union officer 
is a scoundrel because he wishes to bring you people back into 
the Union, even if he has to do it by force. Now you can do 
me one favor, and it will cost you nothing. You said it was well 
understood that General Kirby Smith had made an arrangement 
with some one by which the Union army was to march into this 
country and be allowed to take out all the cotton without mo- 
lestation, that this cotton was to be ti-ansferred to New Orleans in 
our Government transports, and that the owners of the cotton are 
to receive ten cents a pound for it upon its arrival at New Orleans. 
Is that so ? and, if so, who is your authority for the statement ?" 

"It is all true," she replied, "from beginning to end, and this 
very cotton you sent back to me is sold on those terras," and she 
gave good reasons for believing her statement. 

Here was a revelation to me. A large number of transports and 
private steamers were daily coming into Alexandria from New Or- 
leans, Memphis, Vicksburg, Cincinnati, and elsewhere — all pre- 
pared to take cargoes of cotton, and the majority of them carrying 
stores of all kinds to trade off for cotton. Here was a scheme of 
corruption and fraud gotten up for the ostensible purpose of get- 
ting cheap cotton to keep our looms employed, but in reality to 



STORY ABOUT THE COTTON TRADE. 227 

make large fortunes for the most unscrupulous men who were ever 
in the employ of the Government. The whole matter was finally 
brought before the Investigating Committee on the War, and if 
that committee did not bring to light the outrageous frauds that 
were perpetrated on that occasion it was because when they dug 
down their spades would strike some skull it was not desirable to 
disturb, and those who had charge of the investigations got over 
them as soon as possible. An effort was made to connect the navy's 
good name with the cotton speculations going on, but it failed in 
toto. 

The only thing the navy had to do with cotton was seizing Con- 
federate cotton marked **C. S. A." and turning it over to the 
Treasury, which was the final result, for all the cotton seized by 
naval vessels in Western waters was sent before the Court of Admi- 
ralty at Springfield, Illinois, and it was disposed of without any 
regard to claims the navy might have on it. 

This cotton business, as practiced in Alexandria, made a rather 
ugly chapter in the history of the war. It was not an army and 
navy entering a rebellious State to put down insurrection and bring 
people back to their duty ; it was an army of cotton speculators, 
commanded by General Greed, General Avarice, General Specula- 
tion, and General Breach of Trust, with all their attendant staff of 
harpies, who were using the army and navy for the vilest purposes 
— those generals who hold always a high position in war, and fall 
in after an army to gather up the crumbs which it leaves behind it. 

A number of these closed up the ranks of Banks's army ; they 
were in the van as well, and on the wings ; they were like the crows 
of Pensacola, which go to sea for a living, and are deterred by no 
weather. 

I was a great marplot to this expedition in some respects ; I was 
not let into the secrets, and was very much like a bull in a china- 
shop — constantly running foul of some piece of crockery and 
smashing it ; I was so stupid that I could not be made to under- 
stand how an army could enter an enemy's country and make terms 
with him to purchase all the cotton, and let it go out of the coun- 
try without making a struggle to prevent it. 

I don't know how it was that I was kept in the dark. There 
were lots of people who seemed to have been let into the secret — 
fellows who came all the way from Washington with permits to 
"trade within the enemy's lines." 

They would bring their permits to me ; I would examine them, 



228 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

indorse on the back "Kot approved," and sign my name to it. 
They would then tell me indignantly that they had a steamer at 
the mouth of the Eed Eiver full of merchantable articles, the list 
of which, when examined, would be found to include military boots, 
slouch hats, gray cloth, quinine, bowie-knives, etc. I would tell 
them that the only traders we allowed were fellows with muskets 
in their hands. 

One fellow sent me up word from the mouth of the river that 
*'he would have me out of that in ten days." I sent a vessel in 
chase of him, with orders to capture him and take his vessel and 
cargo before the Court for Confiscation ; but he was too fast ; he 
was up at St. Louis, had transferred his cargo, and was hired out 
to the Government before the gun-boat found him. 

I was powerless as an infant to prevent supplies from reaching 
the enemy. 

Steamers would come up, under army protection, full of cotton 
speculators, among whom were included ex-governors of States, ex- 
senators, relatives of people in Washington, rich merchants from 
New Orleans — ''their name was legion" — and they stalked openly 
about Alexandria with ''lean and hungry look," like so many hun- 
gry wolves seeking food in midwinter. 

I wonder if Sherman would have carried on war in that way ? 
I would bet a thousand dollars he would have hung some of those 
fellows. 

This army had two hundred wagons. Instead of marching on 
to Shreveport, they were employed in Alexandria hauling cotton, 
which was shipped in steamers and sent to New Orleans ; or rather, 
I should say, it was stored ready for shipping. 

We went into elections, as far as the army authority would reach, 
instead of marching off, while General A. J. Smith and General 
Mower were chafing at this kind of war and volunteering to go on 
ahead and capture Shreveport in a week. 

If Sherman had been there we would not have stopped in Alex- 
andria a day, but would have pushed on to the end, unless we might 
have stopped a short time to hang the cotton speculators and such 
like. 

Even the navy became demoralized. We had regular instructions 
to seize the enemy's cotton wherever we could find it, and have it 
condemned before the Admiralty Court — enemy's cotton — includ- 
ing all that marked " C. S. A. " An immense amount of cotton had 
been so marked by the Confederate Government before the capture 



THE U. S. NAVAL COTTON-STEALING ASSOCIATION. 229 

of New Orleans, with the expectation of shipping some hundreds of 
millions of dollars' worth abroad for the cotton looms at Manchester 
and elsewhere, but that little game was spoiled by the capture of 
New Orleans, and now came this new scheme for getting all the 
cotton to New Orleans for transshipment to the looms of the 
North. 

Naval officers complained to me that they were losing a chance 
of making prize-money, and they thought they were at least entitled 
to the cotton along the banks of the river. I unwisely consented 
to that, and the very next day I saw a large wagon going along fol- 
lowed by a gang of sailors. The wagon was drawn by four large 
mules, having painted on their sides in large red letters "U. S. N." 
The cotton-bales in the wagon were marked, in the same color, 
"C. S. A." 

Some one with me innocently asked me what those letters meant. 
" They mean," I replied, *' the United States Naval Cotton-Stealing 
Association. I don't mind taking cotton in boats, but I can't stand 
the mule business," and I stopped it at once. It had been going on 
for two or three days, but amid all the army teams I had not noticed 
this particular one. 

Upon inquiring where the sailors got their wagon, I was informed 
that ** they had horroioed it from the army about midnight," had 
painted it red so that it would not be known, and had borrowed the 
mules in the same way ; they shaved them and daubed them with 
paint, so that their mothers wouldn't have known them. 

Orders were then given that no cotton should be touched with- 
out an order from me. 

Ah ! no man can imagine what a fascination there was in a bale 
of cotton, especially at a time when each was worth one thousand 
dollars, and, if it could be condemned by an Admiralty Court, would 
make a good prize-fund. 

I had some people under me who could smell a bale of cotton 
a mile off. 

After I had given that order, one of the gun-boats, coming up 
the river, espied a pile of cotton consisting of thirty bales ; the cap- 
tain hauled alongside the bank and took it on board and brought 
it up, reporting the fact to me upon his arrival. 

** Throw it overboard," I said. 

The captain looked at me with a heart-broken expression, but 
there was no appeal. He obeyed the order ; the cotton floated on 
down the river. Another gun-boat, coming up, fell in with it, and 



230 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

the captain, with joy in his heart, stopped and picked it up, brought 
it on, and reported to me. 

" Throw it overboard again, and read the last order about cot- 
ton," I ordered. 

"But this was in the water, sir," he explained. 

*' Throw it overboard at once," I repeated, and overboard it 
went, the sad eyes of the sailors following it regretfully as it floated 
down stream. 

Next day the dispatch-boat General Lyon arrived. The captain 
reported to me that he had picked up thirty bales of cotton floating 
down the river ; it was the same that had been picked up before. 
There was no getting rid of it. I let it remain on the Lyon, and 
it went to Cairo, before the Admiralty Court at Springfield, and 
was condemned, sold, and the proceeds put into the Treasury, being 
finally paid back to the owner, who had never lost sight of his thirty 
bales of cotton since 1863. 

He recovered his money in 1880, seventeen years after he lost 
the cotton. 

It would take a large volume to tell the history of cotton trans- 
actions at Alexandria. In the examination before the committee 
on the war there was a very considerable amount of evidence and 
some ''tail lying." I never knew myself until I read that evidence 
how human nature was given to castigating his Satanic majesty 
around the lower extremities of an arborescent vegetable, but I am 
quite satisfied that on the occasion alluded to Congress did not get 
at the truth, nor did it desire to do so. "Wherever it stuck down a 
spade it struck a politician. 

Well, it has all passed away, as have many of the actors in the 
scenes at Alexandria and thereabout, but I do pray sincerely that, 
if we ever do have another war, it won't be in a cotton country, 
where an army will be commanded by Generals Greed, Avarice, and 
Corruption — three commanders under whom, if a victory is gained, 
the benefits thereof will accrue only to themselves. 

We must move on ; we have to go to Shreveport. We started 
for the purpose of taking that, and here we are at Alexandria still 
— days after arriving here, and with nothing to detain us. 

We push ofC at last and go to Grand Ecore, pitch our tents 
again, and look as if we were going to take root. I have taken up 
three of Fremont's large flat-boats to be used as bridges and to bring 
back cotton in. There is no use blinking at the cotton question. 
Cotton was king all the way through on that expedition. 



THE REIGN OF KING COTTON. 231 

At Grand Ecore I turned the barges, or flat-boats, over to Gen- 
eral Banks to be used as a bridge across the river so that we could 
communicate on both sides. The bridge was thrown over in two 
days. Captain Phelps came and reported to me that Colonel Clarke 
was filling them up with cotton. 

"Let him do it," I said; "we will capture it when the flat- 
boats are full," which we finally did, and it went into the Treasury. 
Generals Greed and Avarice did not get a bale of it, and I am sure 
no one in the navy did. 

At Grand Ecore the army came to with the two bowers and both 
sheet-anchors, and finally got out anchors astern, and there it lay — 
well, just ten days before moving on. 

All this time those army-wagons did nothing but haul in cotton. 
Cotton was king here, as it had been all along the road and on the 
river. It was a perfect Juggernaut ; it crushed everything else ; 
transports went to Alexandria with it, and stored it away for further 
transportation ; the looms of Massachusetts were provided for for 
years to come, and the sinews of war in the South would be much 
strengthened. What a practical way to carry on war, and how the 
" Neros fiddled while Eome was burning " ! 

How A. J. Smith, Franklin, Emory, and Mower fretted under 
it all, no man could tell ; but it was a reign of cotton ; they could 
not appeal. They were led to believe it was by order of the Gov- 
ernment. Who knows to this day whether it was or not ? 

It was certain there was some understanding between somebody 
and General Kirby Smith. The latter kindly moved back as we ad- 
vanced and left the cotton to go to New Orleans, and, when we had 
emptied the country, we moved on as the hand-organ man and the 
monkey do when they have taken all the sixpences. 

At last we all moved on from Grand Ecore for Shreveport. 
Every one smiled pleasantly, but could not help wondering why an 
army, requiring to make a rapid march, should encumber itself with 
two hundred wagons when there were twenty transports going all 
the way by water. 

But let us skip all that. It is a page in our history that may 
never be written. The expedition was a series of mistakes from be- 
ginning to end. I made some myself, no doubt, but the greatest 
of all I ever made was in permitting myself to be deluded into go- 
ing where I knew there would be a failure unless a more propi- 
tious time should be selected. 

Let it all go ; there is no more room for it here. This is a book 



232 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

of anecdotes, and most of this matter is too serious to enter 
upon. 

On the way up to Shreveport I had two thousand five hun- 
dred of General A. J. Smith's men with me under command of 
General Kilby Smith. We were to land them at the mouth of the 
Shreveport River, and march them to meet Banks when he should 
arrive. 

Oh, the snags and sand-bars we ran upon ! We had no pilots of 
any account, and got along by main strength and nonsense. If 
one got on a bank, another would haul him off, and there was not 
a vessel there that did not haul the others off three or four times be- 
fore we got to Loggy Bayou — the name is significant enough with- 
out saying any more in regard to it. 

The people all along were kind to us as we went up, and gave us in- 
formation cheerfully whenever we asked it. Only it was curious 
that their information led us into all kinds of difficulties. Where 
they told us the deep water was, we found shoals and snags, and 
where we were told to go through a cut-off we found it a blind. 
But how could these poor people know ? Likely they had never 
been on a steamboat or on the river in their lives. 

When we arrived at the mouth of the Shreveport River we 
found ourselves blocked out. A very large steamer was laid right 
across the channel, with her bow resting on one bank and her 
stern on the other. Human hands could not move her. If we 
burned her we would fill up the shoal spot just beneath her ; there 
was just three feet of water between her keel and the bottom. Of 
course, her being there was an accident ! But as she was put there 
at high water, and left there, it looked to some of us as if there 
was purpose in it. We would have to move her piecemeal, and it 
would take time. I proposed to General Smith to land his artil- 
lery, and that he and myself should reconnoitre. The artillery was 
landed, and we rode back a mile ; everything seemed peaceful. 
"What nice people these are !" I said to General Smith as we rode 
along ; *' they let us go over their country and don't fire a shot at 
us ; but at the same time let us keep our eyes open. 

" Halloo ! what is that I see running along there in the high 
grass ? By all that's holy, those are scouts, General ! " I exclaimed, 
** and they are running to tell of our coming. But they are not 
General Banks's scouts ; they come under the head of the genus 
guerrilla ; they carry muskets." 
"I see," he said. 



GENERAL BANKS "DEFEATED." 233 

"Banks has had a battle and has been defeated," I continued. 
'* We are running into a trap ; we must turn back, and get down 
river with those transports when it is dark, or we will be cut off. 
Embark your artillery and let us prepare for defense, and to move 
at six o'clock. We will have a victorious army on us by eight 
o'clock to-morrow morning." 

The embarkation took place, and we moved at six o'clock 
quietly, and with little steam, placing the gun-boats so as to pro- 
tect the transports. I found that five or six large transports, which 
had been added to the expedition, were continually getting aground 
on account of their heavy draught of water, but I stayed behind as 
whipper-in, and had smaller vessels made fast to them, to pull 
them off the sand-banks and snags, and so got along very well. 

The good people who met us on the way up, at the different 
landings, seemed so sorry to see us going back ; they got their guns 
out and saluted us, but, unfortunately, the guns were shotted. 
They killed a number of our men, and they kept up such a continu- 
ous salute that at last we began to suspect their sincerity. 

At first the balls came like single drops of rain, then more of 
them, then they came in showers, and we were absolutely obliged 
to land and take on cotton-bales for protection to the soldiers and 
other persons on the transports. 

Of course we fired back ; but what harm could that do to peo- 
ple who were in deep rifle-pits, screened by trees or in a canebrake ? 
The affair reminded me very much of the retreat of the French 
from Moscow, only this wasn't retreating ; we were getting out of 
the enemy's country as fast as we could ! 

The people were now no longer polite to us. When we got 
down about sixty miles some one hailed us from the bank and said 
he had a dispatch for us ; it was some one who had thought of us 
as going confidingly on to meet General Banks at Loggy Bayou. 

The dispatch read : " General Banks badly defeated ; return." 
Here was a dilemma to be placed in : a victorious army between us 
and our own forces ; a long, winding, shallow river wherein the 
vessels were continually grounding ; a long string of empty trans- 
ports, with many doubtful captains, who were constantly making 
excuses to lie by or to land — in other words, who wei'e trying to 
put their vessels into the power of the Confederates — and a thou- 
sand points on the river where we could be attacked with great ad- 
vantage by the enemy ; and the banks lined with sharp-shooters, 
by whom every incautious soldier who showed himself was shot. 



234 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

"We could not use our artillery, as the sound would betray our 
position to the more distant and powerful body of the enemy's 
force. 

As soon as I read the dispatch I gave the order *' Move on," 
and we went ahead with increased speed ; but about one o'clock the 
next day we were brought to a stand by batteries erected below us. 
I had dropped astern to whip in the loiterers — a troublesome busi- 
ness. One captain got ashore and deserted his vessel with the 
crew in the boats. I hitched on to the steamer, pulled her out of 
the mud, and towed her along. She had a number of horses on 
board. What a prize she would have been to the enemy ! 

Firing commenced ahead, and I pushed on to give direc- 
tions, and, as I turned a point, an attack was made on the rear by 
twenty-five hundred men with artillery, under General Green, a 
Texas man. It took me but twenty minutes to arrange about the 
batteries in front, and, as soon as I heard the firing in the rear, I 
pushed on back again and found two of the gun-boats. Captains 
Bache and Sclfridge, and the transport on which was General Kilby 
Smith, engaged with this force under General Green, while a larger 
body of troops were advancing in the distance. The gun-boats 
made terrible slaughter in the enemy's ranks with their heavy guns, 
and General Smith, having mounted his field-pieces on the upper 
deck of the transport behind cotton-bales, also poured in a heavy 
fire from artillery as well as muskets. 

We made short work of the enemy, though they fought like 
devils, and fell over the levee into the water when wounded or 
killed. General Green had his head blown ofF, and his horse went 
galloping over the field with a headless body hanging to him ; the 
ground was literally covered with the enemy's killed and wounded, 
and they left their artillery on the field. I had no time to look 
after it ; I had too much to do to look after all those transports. 
I got them all by the batteries before sunset, and was rid of the 
rebel army for the night. 

All the next day sharp-shooters followed us along the banks 
and picked off our men occasionally, but we had no longer any rea- 
son for not firing the artillery, and, as we kept that going during 
the day, we had the advantage of them. 

We arrived at a point four miles from Grand Ecore, where I 
supposed the army was, and, as I came up with the vessels ahead, 
I found every one of them stuck fast in the mud — all in a bunch 
and surrounded by sharp-shooters. There was a smart fight going 



SAFE ARRIVAL AT GRAND ECORE. 235 

on, but our men were getting to be adepts at this kind of business, 
and could hold their own. As my vessel was of light draught, I 
passed on through them, telling them to keep up their fire, and 
that I would send some troops up. Ten minutes later I met Gen- 
eral A. J. Smith, with some fifteen cavalrymen, riding rapidly 
along the bank. I told him the situation of affairs, and that I 
would send up more troops, which I did ; and at eight o'clock that 
evening all my gun-boats and transports anchored safe and sound 
at Grand Ecore, after an exciting trip as we could desire — three 
hundred miles up an enemy's river. 

As soon as 1 arrived I mounted my horse and rode to General 
Banks's camp, about a mile from the town ; it was dark when I 
arrived there, and I could only see the twinkle of the lights through 
the canvas tents. 

There were about twenty tents pitched about the general's 
headquarters — beautiful white tents glimmering in the early dark- 
ness, and they were surrounded by a rope rove through posts four 
feet high. 

A sentry and a sergeant were stationed at the entrance, and 
when I said I wanted to see General Banks they told me that I 
could not pass ; that the general would not be disturbed. 

"But I must see him," I said ; "my business is imperative." 

" Can't help it, sir," said the sergeant ; "so are my orders." 

**Well, then," I said, "here goes," and, putting spurs to my 
horse, I jumped him over the rope and rode up to the general's 
tent, which I knew by its greater relative size. I dismounted, 
made my horse fast to a post, raised the general's curtain, and 
walked in. The general was very glad to see me, as he had not 
heard of our arrival and felt uneasy about us. 

He was looking as placid and as handsome as ever ; he wore a 
handsome dressing-gown, a velvet cap on his head, and comfortable 
slippers on his feet. His tent was a marvel of neatness and com- 
fort, and everything bespoke the soldier. 

" Well," he began, " how did you get back here ? I felt uneasy 
about you. You have interrupted me in the most pleasing occu- 
pation of my life. I was just reading Scott's tactics, which I do 
every night before I go to bed ; but I am so glad to see you back 
that I shall lay my book down without regret." 

" I got back," I replied, " by main strength and nonsense ; 
more by good luck than good management ; we floundered along 
night and day with only a few good pilots, and had it not been for 



236 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

*a good little angel that sits up aloft and looks out for poor 
Jack ' I should have been nowhere ; I was born under a lucky 
star." 

"And that counts in a man's life," said Banks; "I was born 
under a lucky star also." 

"If that is so, how is it that the rebels defeated you so at 
Mansfield ? " I inquired. 

"Defeated me ?" repeated the general ; *' why, sir, I defeated 
them all to pieces, though I had to retreat for the want of water, 
and I had to come back here." 

" Why," I said, " you only had six miles to march to touch the 
Eed River, that would have supplied you with water. The dis- 
patch some one sent me said you were badly beaten, or I would not 
have returned all the way. I certainly expected to meet some one 
from you at the moath of the Shreveport Eiver ; that ominous 
silence showed me that something had happened to you." 

"Nothing has happened to me," said the general, "except that 
I have fallen back," and I left him under the delusion that he had 
won the battle of Mansfield, or Sabine Cross Eoads, or whatever 
name that unfortunate affair was known by. 

But I am not going to write a history of the battle of Mansfield ; 
that will keep. I must, however, mention one little event that oc- 
curred there. When the enemy broke through our first lines they 
came in contact with that sturdy old soldier, A. J. Smith, with his 
corps of eight thousand men. I had twenty-five hundred of them 
with me on the vessels. The Confederates had been pretty roughly 
handled by the two corps they first fell in with, and no doubt lost 
many men, but when they came butt up against a solid phalanx of 
Spartans, and were mown down by the hundreds, they turned and 
fled. Smith steadily pursuing them, causing them to throw away 
their arms and knapsacks. There were only sixteen thousand of 
the enemy against some thirty thousand of our men, and these, 
when they had first broken our lines, captured all Banks's wagons 
and a large portion of his artillery. All this General A. J. Smith 
recovered, and remained master of the field, while Banks, with the 
main army, retreated on toward Grand Ecore. 

The Confederates had been broken up entirely, their arms were 
scattered all along the road, and this news General Smith sent by 
an aid to General Banks, but received in return an order to retreat. 
He again sent word to General Banks that he was not only in pos- 
session of the field, of the wagons, and artillery, but he knew that 



WE COULD HAVE GONE TO SHREVEPORT. 237 

the Confederate army was broken up, and the road was open to 
Shreveport. 

Another order came to *' retreat immediately," and Smith had 
to obey, leaving the wagons and guns on the field of battle. 

Wiien the enemy sent in a flag of truce next day to ask permis- 
sion to bury their dead, they found no one on the battle-ground but 
their own surgeons attending their wounded, and our guns and 
wagons looking on mournfully at the melancholy scene. Of course, 
the Confederates did not lose much time in gathering them all in, 
and good use they made of them before they got through with our 
party. 

Next day, when General Smith came up with Banks, he called 
on him to report, when General Banks, with that courtesy which 
always distinguished him, said, "General Smith, allow me to thank 
you for saving my army ; but for you, sir, all would have been 
lost." 

Smith took advantage of the opportunity to deliver a retort for 
those remarks General Banks had the credit of making about the 
appearance of his men. " Don't thank me, sir," he said ; " it wasn't 
I who did it ; it was those d — d ragged guerrillas of mine, and, if you 
will let us, we will turn around now and march into Shreveport." 

It was a heavy hit if Banks remembered making the remark. 

No one could ever understand — and never will — how it was 
that, after the Confederates had been so cut up and completely de- 
feated by Smith's corps, our army never turned toward Shreveport 
again. My own opinion is, that if there was any agreement made 
with Kirby Smith that we might come and take the cotton out, it 
was done to entrap us, and, when our army was moving along in 
perfect security and without expectation of being molested, they 
were attacked at a point very favorable for the enemy, with the 
fatal result mentioned, though this takes no account of the subse- 
quent inactivity. 

Some good historian may take the matter up one of these days 
and unravel the mystery. Then the truth may come out. I am 
certain of one thing, and that is, if General A. J. Smith and myself 
had been there alone with the forces we had, we would have gone 
to Shreveport without any trouble. 

After all, nothing was gained by this expedition, for the moment 
our army retreated the Confederates set fire to their cotton-bales, 
and, instead of being converted into greenbacks, it went oft in 
smoke. 



238 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 



CHAPTER XXI. 

THE ARMY PROPOSE TO MOVE AWAY FROM GRAND ECORE — SINK- 
ING OF THE EASTPORT — PUMP HER UP — EASTPORT BLOWN UP 
— THE CRICKET COMES TO GRIEF — GUN-BOAT FLEET CAUGHT IN 
A DILEMMA — PROVIDENCE SUPPLIES THE MAN TO RELIEVE 
THEM — A ROW WITH A MILITARY GOVERNOR. 

"And he swelled like a tadpole on a rather large scale, 
With a very large stuffing-pin stuck through his tail." 

I FOUND the river at Grand Ecore falling fast, and, notwithstand- 
ing General Banks informed me he was going to Shreveport, I 
worked the ironclads through the mud into water deep enough to 
float them. 

I ordered the Eastport, the heaviest of them all, down to Alex- 
andria, but she had not proceeded more than two miles on her way 
to that place when she encountered a sunken torpedo and had a 
large hole knocked in her bottom. 

There was no time to be lost. The Eastport was aground with 
her hold full of water. I went to Alexandria, where I had left two 
steamers fitted with steam pumps to fish up sunken vessels. In 
three hours after I returned with them the Eastport was afloat, 
the two steamers towing her down the river and pumping her out 
at the same time. 

The Eastport was a ram which had been brought up Red River 
especially to contest the point of strength with a Confederate ram 
at Shreveport, but those extravagant people, after spending many 
thousands to build a formidable vessel, blew her up on our approach, 
and left themselves only the formidable ram to which I have else- 
where alluded as having knocked the bull's tail out by the roots ! 

"When I returned from Alexandria, General Franklin came on 
board and said to me : "Has General Banks told you of his inten- 
tion to fall back on Alexandria ? Orders have been quietly issued 
for the army to move this afternoon. " 

** And what is to become of all these transports ? " I said ; " they 
don't belong to me. I have already escorted them six hundred 
miles, and they have not been a particle of use." 

"I don't know," replied Franklin; "I thought I would tell 
you what was on foot, so that you wouldn't be taken by surprise.'* 



"SINKING OF THE EASTPORT." 239 

I "went straight to General Banks, and, without giving my au- 
thority, informed him of what I had heard, but the general told 
me he would not move for some time to come. Nevertheless, I 
started all the transports for Alexandria under convoy of the fleet, 
keeping four small vessels with me. 

That night the army moved off, and at daylight not a tent was 
to be seen. 

The Confederates, with extraordinary energy, had got all right 
again. They didn't stay defeated long. They rigged up the guns 
they had captured from us with horses taken from our wagons, and, 
with fresh forces, came on after the army like a swarm of hornets 
whose nest has been disturbed. 

General Banks's army had not proceeded far before it was again 
attacked, but the troops were now under charge of General Franklin, 
and the enemy got the worst of it all the way down. 

Banks, with an escort, preceded the army to Alexandria, leaving 
Franklin with the troops to follow at his leisure. 

At Cane River the Confederates made a sharp attack, but Frank- 
lin gave them such a warm reception that they were satisfied to 
follow at a respectful distance ; but they did follow us until we were 
out of the country. 

I remained at Grand Ecore until I had gathered up some pro- 
visions and guns which the army had left behind, and then started 
after the Eastport, which was going slowly down the river in tow 
of the two pump- boats. 

To recount the trouble we had with this vessel would be too 
tedious. She would sink, and we would pump her out and get her 
afloat again ; but at last she stuck hard and fast in a bed of logs, 
and, as there was nothing more to be done, we blew her up with 
fifty barrels of powder, after removing from her everything of 
value. 

So careful were the two pyrotechnists in charge of the explosion 
(Captain Phelps and myself) to see that the powder all exploded, 
that we came very near going up with the vessel. Phelps was in a 
boat near the bow, and I was in a boat but a very short distance off, 
and great pieces of the hull fell all around us. 

The Confederates, who had been constantly watching our move- 
ments and waiting their chance, had now assembled near this point 
some twelve hundred men, and took the opportunity to pay their 
compliments to us. 

The other small gun-boats were lying at the bank near by, not 



2i0 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

suspecting an attack, but still prepared for one, as was always the 
rule. 

The Confederates discharged their rifles and made a rush to 
carry the vessels by boarding, but met with such a warm reception 
that they were glad to retreat. The sailors followed them into the 
woods and succeeded in capturing a non-commissioned officer, who 
gave us all the information we wanted for a good mess of pork and 
beans. 

This information quickened our movements down the river, and 
we lost all appreciation of the scenery, so intent were we upon get- 
ting to Alexandria. 

It seems that the Confederates, having failed to make any im- 
pression on the troops under Franklin, had determined to fall back 
on the river and, if possible, capture us ; and that a force of three 
thousand men with three companies of artillery was already posted 
at a point on the river below us, and, as our prisoner expressed it, 
would give us "Glory, Hallelujah ! " when we got there. 

The rebs in this quarter were a saucy and independent set of 
fellows, and the prospect of punishment didn't seem to make them 
a bit more respectful. I rather admired them for their independ- 
ent spirit ; they were foemen worthy of our steel, and can be re- 
lied on now to defend our country, if necessary, against the world 
combined. 

Their valor was equal to that of the Northern soldiers, and their 
endurance, I think, gi'eater. Had they been the people of any other 
nation, our troops would have walked over them without much dif- 
ficulty. 

" When we left Grand Ecore, about five hundred negroes of both 
sexes and all ages took passage with us, anxious to reach ''the land 
of freedom." "When the Eastport was blown up I put them on 
board the two pump-boats, thinking that would be the safest place 
for them in case we were attacked, for I presumed the Confederate 
gunners would devote themselves to sinking the "tinclads," for so 
our light-draught gun-boats were called, having but one eighth of an 
inch of iron over their thin wooden sides. I never supposed the 
Confederates would fire at these helpless negroes ; but one never 
knows. 

I got the two pump-boats right astern of my vessel, with an- 
other *'tinclad" astern of the pump-boats, and the other two ves- 
sels bringing up the rear. My little flag-ship, the Cricket, had six 
twelve-pound boat-howitzers (smooth bores), and carried forty-eight 



THE CRICKET COMES TO GRIEF. 241 

officers and men. The other " tinclads " had each about the same 
number, except the Juliet, which carried the Eastport's crew. 

One of the Cricket's guns was mounted on the upper deck for- 
ward to command the banks, and a crew of six men were kept 
stationed at it, ready to fire at anything hostile. 

We went along at a moderate pace to keep within supporting 
distance of each other. I was sitting on the upper deck reading, 
with one eye on the book and the other on the bushes, when I saw 
men's heads and sang out to the commanding officer, Gorringe, 
** Give those fellows in the bushes a two-second shell ! " A mo- 
ment after the shell burst in the midst of the people on the 
bank. 

" Give them another dose," I said, when, to my astonishment, 
there came on board a shower of projectiles that fairly made the lit- 
tle Cricket stagger. Nineteen shells burst on board our vessel at 
the first volley. It was the gun battery of which our prisoner 
had told us. We were going along at this time about six knots 
an hour, and before we could fire another gun we were right under 
the battery and turning the point, presenting the Cricket's stern to 
the enemy. They gave us nine shells when we were not more 
than twenty yards distant from the bank, all of which burst inside 
of us, and as the vessel's stern was presented they poured in ten 
more shots, which raked us fore and aft. 

Then came the roar of three thousand muskets, which seemed to 
strike every spot in the vessel. Fortunately, her sides were musket- 
proof. 

The Cricket stopped. I had been expecting it. How, thought 
I, could all these shells go through a vessel without disabling the 
machinery ? The rebels gave three cheers and let us drift on ; they 
were determined to have the whole of us. They opened their guns 
on the two pump-boats and sunk them at the first discharge. The 
poor negroes that could swim tried to reach the shore, but the 
musketeers picked off those that were in the water or clinging to 
the wrecks. It was a dreadful spectacle to witness, with no power 
to prevent it ; but it turned out to be the salvation of the Cricket. 
All this took place in less than five minutes. 

The moment the Cricket received the first discharge of artillery I 
went on deck to the pilot-house, saluted by a volley of musketry as 
I passed along, and as I opened the pilot-house door I saw that the 
pilot, Mr. Drening, had his head cut open by a piece of a shell, 
and the blood was streaming down his cheeks. He still held on to 

16 



242 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

the wheel. **I am all right, sir," he said. "I won't give up the 
wheel. " 

Gorringe was perfectly cool, and was ringing the engine-room 
bell to go ahead. In front of the wheel-house the bodies of the 
men who manned the howitzer were piled up. A shell had struck 
the gun and, exploding, had killed all the crew — a glorious death 
for them. 

" What are you trying to do, Gorringe ? " I inquired. 

** Trying to get her broadside round to open on the enemy." 

*' Leave that for some other occasion," I said. *' I doubt if there's 
anybody left to fire a gun. There are times to fight and times to 
get out of range. This is one of the latter. "We are helpless. Let 
her drift, and I will go down and see what is the matter with the 
engine." 

As I left the pilot-house and walked to the stern to go below, 
the enemy again opened with their musketry ; but we had by this 
time drifted some two hundred yards away, and the fire did us no 
damage. 

One soldier ran along the bank and fired twice at me, or at those 
on deck behind the cotton-bales. I seized a musket, with the in- 
tention of shooting the fellow, but suddenly bethought me that it 
was not my business to shoot people, but only to direct others to 
do it ; so I handed the musket back to the owner and said, " Shoot 
that fellow." 

The sailor fired, and the soldier fell dead, being, so far as I 
know, the only man we killed of the enemy during the engage- 
ment. 

When I got below on what we called the fighting deck a shock- 
ing scene was presented. Twenty-four persons, half of the crew, 
lay on the deck killed or wounded, among the dead a poor woman 
(wife of the captain's steward), who had her right arm and shoulder 
shot away. The guns were nearly all rendered useless by the ene- 
my's shell, the side of the vessel and her stern were riddled, and 
everything seemed torn to pieces. 

" Fire the guns off," I ordered, "even if you can't hit anything. 
Don't let them think we are hurt." Three contrabands loaded and 
fired one of the guns, the only one fired after the first ; there was 
no one to fire them. 

In the engine-room I found the engineer dead, with his hand 
on the throttle- valve. He was standing ready to qbey orders from 
the deck when killed by a shell. In his convulsions he turned off 



THAT POOR LITTLE SQUADRON OF " TINCLADS." 243 

the steam, which caused the vessel to stop. His two assistants were 
wounded. 

I opened the throttle and the engine moved, for it had not been 
injured. "We proceeded slowly down the river, and in three minutes 
were around a point. 

The Confederates soon finished all the contrabands that were 
swimming in the river or clinging to the wreck. Some of them 
may have got ashore, but we never saw any of them again. 

As soon as the pump-boats were sunk the battery opened on 
the little " tinclad " Juliet, following astern of them, and raked her 
fore and aft, killing and wounding many of her crew and cutting 
her steam -pipe in two, enveloping the vessel in a cloud of vapor. 

The rebels troubled themselves no more about the Juliet, and 
she drifted under the bluff where the battery was placed. The bluff 
was sixty feet high, and the Confederates could not reach the vessel 
with their guns or musketry. The people on board took advantage 
of the circumstance, quickly repaired the steam-pipe, and during 
a lull in the enemy's firing, owing to the vessels above having 
opened with some heavy guns, slipped away and joined her consorts 
up stream. 

I wondered why the vessels above did not follow me. They 
waited till night, and then ran the batteries, and were pretty well 
cut up in doing so. 

Our fight was short and one-sided, for the Confederates had it 
all their own way, and there was no help for it. 

The rebel army which Franklin had kept at bay turned round 
on that poor little squadron of " tinclads." They had not forgotten 
how badly we had defeated General Green's division, covering the 
ground with killed and wounded, and determined to get even with 
us ; but they had not the satisfaction of stopping a single gun-boat, 
or even one of the transports which were so unwisely tacked on to 
the squadron. 

The Cricket had thirty-eight shells explode on her decks in less 
than four minutes ; the Juliet almost as many. The other two 
*' tinclads " did not fare so badly. 

Most of the white men on board the pump-boats escaped. 

I had a relative on board the Cricket who had gone on the ex- 
pedition ^' to see sJieol." He was satisfied that what he had seen 
was next door to it, and he was willing to return to his post. 

As I came out of the engine-room I saw a contraband holding 
on to Mrs. Holmes's horse. ''Why, Bob," I said, **you are a bigger 



244: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

coward than that horse ; you are frightened to death, and ought to 
be ashamed of yourself." 

"No, Massa," answered Bob, "I ain't no coward. Dis nigger 
Stan's by his colors to de las'. If you was half as frightened as dis 
chile you'd swim f o' de sho'. I've got what you call de moral cour- 
age, sar." 

And so he had, and that sort of courage is better than physical 
bravery. I took Bob home with me after the war and made him 
my coachman. 

In August, 1884, I received a letter from Pilot Drening, whose 
cool bravery on this occasion deserves remembrance, yet a grateful 
country has so far withheld a pension to which he is clearly entitled. 
He must be upward of eighty years of age. 

Galena, Illinois, August 27, 1884' 
Admiral Porter, Washington, D. C. 

Dear Sir : Your very kind letter is received, and with many 
thanks I wish you long life and happiness. Twenty years have 
passed since the battle, yet I remember each name of the killed, 
wounded, and living, and how by a miracle we were saved from 
such terrible firing to see the greatness of the country that our com- 
rades died to save. Yours respectfully, 

T. G. Drening. 

As soon as possible I proceeded down the river to Alexandria to 
bury the dead and have the wounded properly cared for. I could 
do no good to those above ; they had to run the batteries as we did. 
Four miles below I fell in with Captain Selfridge in the light iron- 
clad Neosho. Had I had a single ironclad we could have driven 
off our assailants, but *'tinclads" don't amount to much in a fight 
against artillery. I sent Selfridge up to attack the batteries. 
Pretty soon afterward I fell in with Lieutenant Bache in the Lex- 
ington, who had been engaged all the afternoon with flying Whit- 
worth batteries. The Lexington was a good deal cut up, but 
Bache's eight-inch-shell guns were too much for the enemy, so 
that we had at least one success that day. 

I do not mention our little incident as a battle, but simply to 
show the kind of experience to which the navy in the "West was 
subjected, and the courage which the officers and men exhibited. 
It is one thing to be on the open ocean, able to see your enemy and 
know that you can give gun for gun in manly fashion, instead of 
being shot at from behind bushes and banks. Think of being pur- 



GUN-BOAT FLEET IN A DILEMMA. 245 

sued day after day by^ a party of bushwhackers •watching from be- 
hind trees a chance to pick you off ! 

One can hardly realize the danger to which the pilots and engi- 
neers of the squadron were exposed. I have seen a pilot receive a 
ball in his brain just as his hand touched the wheel. The pilots 
were targets for the enemy to shoot at, and he who could boast 
that he had killed one was a popular man. 

The pilots were mostly Western men by birth, but passing their 
lives on the Mississippi brought them into intimate relations with 
the Southern people, who looked upon all that were loyal to the 
Union as traitors to the Southern cause. 

I never knew one of these men to quail in the presence of dan- 
ger, and when I have beheld them passing a battery with balls fly- 
ing all about them, I have been struck with the coolness they dis- 
played. 

I think there is a magnetism in a ship's wheel in time of action 
which is communicated to the helmsman. He feels that the lives 
of all are in his hands, and I never knew a pilot faithless to his 
trust. 

When I reached Alexandria in the Cricket I was surprised to 
find the fleet above the ''falls." The rocks were all bare a mile 
above the place where I left the vessels when we started up river. 

Ked River had run out, as it were, and left the vessels high and 
dry, with no chance of getting down until a rise came, of which 
there was not the slightest prospect. 

There was a narrow channel cut by the flow of water (for ages 
past) through the middle of the flat rocks, and, as the Cricket drew 
but eighteen inches, Pilot Drening succeeded in taking her through, 
and we lay once more in our old berth at the levee, which was now 
lined with merchant-steamers. Cotton was king, and his subjects 
mustered strong in Alexandria. 

We held the town and the surrounding country for a distance 
of some six miles, and the different divisions of the army were 
posted in the most advantageous positions. 

General Banks had practically relinquished the command of the 
troops to General Franklin, under whose management every one 
felt safe. Besides, why should thirty thousand men fear an attack 
from sixteen thousand, which was about the largest the Confeder- 
ates could muster ? 

The army-wagons were busily employed in hauling cotton, which 
was loaded on the steamers from plethoric store-houses, yet here 



24:6 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

was a whole fleet caught in a trap and no one apparently concerned 
about it except the officers and men whose duty it was to defend it. 

Soon after I arrived at the levee Generals Banks and Hunter 
came on board the Cricket. I don't know what the latter was doing 
in that part of the country, but presume he came on a mission 
from the Government. 

These gentlemen inquired which vessels I could best afford to 
blow up, as there was no likelihood of a rise in the river, and the 
army had to be moved out of that. The horses were getting thin 
for want of oats ! 

I was lying quite helpless on my bed at the time, suffering from 
a troublesome complaint ; but this cool proposal to destroy the 
gun-boats that had done so much service, and had really, so far, 
saved the army, was too much for me. 

I jumped up, forgetting my pain. "Kone of the gun-boats 
shall be destroyed," 1 exclaimed. " I'll take them out as I brought 
them in. A. J. Smith will stand by me, and we will show you that 
we can hold our own. I'll wait here for high water if I have to 
wait two years." The two generals could make nothing out of me, 
and soon departed. 

Captain Selfridge next came to see me. "A bad fix we are 
in, sir," he said. 

*' I don't think so," I replied ; *' we will get out of it all right." 

" What do you propose to do, sir," inquired Selfridge. 

*'I propose to get out by an act of Providence," I replied, and 
I quoted Shakespeare : " There's a divinity that shapes our ends." 

"But," said Selfridge, "that won't hold water, which is what 
we want just now." 

Just after, General Franklin called and informed me that he had 
in his corps a Colonel Bailey, who had formerly been a lumberman 
in the rivers of Maine, and that he proposed to get my whole fleet 
over the " falls " by building dams to raise the water some fourteen 
feet, which was amply sufficient. 

I said to the general that I had no doubt Colonel Bailey could 
do it, and that I had been expecting just such a man to turn up. 
" There's a sweet little cherub that sits up aloft to keep watch for 
the life of poor Jack." — "Bring your lumberman here. General," 
I said ; " no doubt he has more plain practical ideas about him 
than all of us put together." 

When Colonel Bailey arrived he explained how he proposed to 
dam the river and get the vessels over the obstructions. 



PROVIDENCE SUPPLIES THE MAN IN AN EMERGENCY. 247 

*' If damning the river would do any good, we should have 
been out of this long ago," I said. But the colonel did not appear 
to understand the joke. 

I wrote to General Banks, requesting him to approve of Colonel 
Bailey's proposition, which he did promptly, and the colonel had 
at his disposal eight thousand men and all the cotton and sugar 
machinery in the neighborhood with which to make ballast for the 
cribs. 

I believe that few people realize what eight thousand disciplined 
men can do when under the direction of a master mind ; but I will 
here insert the letter I wrote at the time to the Secretary of the 
Navy : 

Flag-ship Black Hawk, Mississippi Squadron, ) 
Mouth op Red River, May 16, 1864- ) 

Sir : I have the honor to inform you that the vessels lately 
caught by low water above the "falls" at Alexandria have been re- 
leased from their unpleasant position. The water had fallen so 
low that I had no hope or expectation of getting the vessels out 
this season, and, as the army had made arrangements to evacuate 
•the country, I saw nothing before me but the destruction of the 
best part of the Mississippi squadron. 

There seems to have been an especial Providence looking out for 
us in providing a man equal to the emergency. Lieutenant-Colo- 
nel Bailey, acting engineer of the 19th Army Corps, proposed a 
plan of building a series of dams across the rocks at the "falls" 
and raising the water high enough to let the vessels pass over. 
This proposition looked like madness, and the best engineers ridi- 
culed it ; but Colonel Bailey was so sanguine of success that I re- 
quested General Banks to have it done, and he entered heartily 
into the work. Provisions were short and forage was almost out, 
and the dam was promised to be finished in ten days, or the army 
would have to leave us. I was doubtful about the time, but had 
no doubt about the ultimate success if time would only permit. 
General Banks placed at the disposal of Colonel Bailey all the force 
he required, consisting of some three thousand men and two or 
three hundred wagons. All the neighboring steam mills were torn 
down for material, two or three regiments of Maine men were set 
to work felling trees, and on the second day after my arrival in 
Alexandria from Grand Ecore the work had fairly begun. Trees 
were falling with great rapidity ; teams were moving in all direc- 
tions, bringing in brick and stone ; quarries were opened ; flat-boats 



248 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

were built to bring stone down from above ; and every man seemed 
to be working with a vigor I have seldom seen equaled, while per- 
haps not one in fifty believed in the success of the undertaking. 

These "falls" are about a mile in length, filled with rugged 
rocks, over which, at the present stage of water, it seemed to be 
impossible to make a channel. 

The work was commenced by running out from the left bank 
of the river a tree-dam, made of the bodies of very large trees, 
brush, brick, and stone, cross-tied with other heavy timber, and 
strengthened in every way which ingenuity could devise. This 
was run out about three hundred feet into the river ; four large 
coal-barges were then filled with brick and sunk at the end of it. 
From the right bank of the river cribs filled with stone were built 
out to meet the barges. All of which was successfully accom- 
plished, notwithstanding there was a current running of nine 
miles an hour, which threatened to sweep everything before it. 

It will take too much time to enter into the details of this truly 
wonderful work. Suffice it to say that the dam had nearly reached 
completion in eight days' working time, and the water had risen 
sufificiently on the upper falls to allow the Fort Hindman, Osage, 
and Neosho to get down and be ready to pass the dam. In an- 
other day it would have been high enough to enable all the other 
vessels to pass the upper falls. Unfortunately, on the morning of 
the 9th instant the pressure of water became so great that it swept 
away two of the stone barges, which swung in below the dam on 
one side. Seeing this unfortunate accident, I jumped on a horse 
and rode up to where the upper vessels were anchored and ordered 
the Lexington to pass the upper falls if possible, and immediately 
attempt to go through the dam. I thought I might be able to save 
the four vessels below, not knowing whether the persons employed 
on the work would ever have the heart to renew their enter- 
prise. 

The Lexington succeeded in getting over the upper falls just in 
time, the water rapidly falling as she was passing over. She then 
steered directly for the opening in the dam, through which the 
water was rushing so furiously that it seemed as if nothing but de- 
struction awaited her. Thousands of beating hearts looked on anx- 
ious for the result. The silence was so great as the Lexington 
approached the dam that a pin might almost be heard to fall. She 
entered the gap with a full head of steam on, pitched down the 
roaring torrent, made two or three spasmodic rolls, hung for a mo- 



LIEUTENANT-COLONEL BAILEY'S ADMIRABLE FEAT. 249 

ment on the rocks below, was then swept into deep water by the 
current, and rounded-to safely into the bank. Thirty thousand 
voices rose in one deafening cheer, and universal joy seemed to per- 
vade the face of every man present. 

The Neosho followed next, all her hatches battened down and 
every precaution taken against accident. She did not fare as well 
as the Lexington, her pilot having become frightened as he approached 
the abyss and stopped her engine, when I particularly ordered a full 
head of steam to be carried ; the result was that for the moment 
her hull disappeared from sight under the water. Every one 
thought she was lost. She rose, however, swept along over the 
rocks with the current, and, fortunately, escaped with only one hole 
in her bottom, which was stopped in the course of an hour. 

The Hindman and Osage both came through beautifully with- 
out touching a thing, and I thought if I was only fortunate enough 
to get my large vessels as well over the falls, my fleet once more 
would do good service on the Mississippi. 

The accident to the dam, instead of disheartening Colonel 
Bailey, only induced him to renew his exertions, after he had seen 
the success of getting four vessels through. 

The noble-hearted soldiers, seeing their labor of the last eight 
days swept away in a moment, cheerfully went to work to repair 
damages, being confident now that all the gun-boats would be finally 
brought over. These men had been working for eight days and nights 
up to their necks in water, in the broiling sun, cutting trees and 
wheeling bricks, and nothing but good humor prevailed among 
them. 

On the whole, it was very fortunate the dam was carried away, 
as the two barges that were swept away from the center swung 
around against some rocks on the left and made a fine cushion for 
the vessels, and prevented them, as it afterward appeared, from 
running on certain destruction. 

The force of the water and the current being too great to con- 
struct a continuous dam of six hundred feet across the river in so 
short a time, Colonel Bailey determined to leave a gap of fifty-five 
feet in the dam, and build a series of wing-dams on the upper falls. 
This was accomplished in three days' time, and on the 11th instant 
the Mound City, Carondelet, and Pittsburg came over the upper 
falls, a good deal of labor having been expended in hauling them 
through, the channel being very crooked, and scarcely wide enough 
for them. 



250 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

Next day the Ozark, Louisyille, Chillicothe, and two tugs also 
succeeded iu crossing the upper falls. Immediately afterward the 
Mound City, Carondelet, and Pittsburg started in succession to 
pass the dam, all their hatches battened down, and every precau- 
tion taken to prevent accident. 

The passage of these vessels was a most beautiful sight, only to 
be realized when seen. They passed over without an accident, ex- 
cept the unshipping of one or two rudders. This was witnessed by 
all the troops, and the vessels were heartily cheered when they 
passed over. Next morning at ten o'clock the Louisville, Chilli- 
cothe, Ozark, and two tugs passed over without any accident, ex- 
cept the loss of a man, who was swept ofE the deck of one of the 
tugs. By three o'clock that afternoon the vessels were all coaled, 
ammunition replaced, and all steamed down the river, with the 
convoy of transports in company. 

A good deal of difficulty was anticipated in getting over the 
bars in lower Eed Kiver, Depth of water reported, only five feet ; 
gun-boats were drawing six. Providentially, we had a rise from the 
back-water of the Mississippi, that river being very high at the 
time, the back-water, extending to Alexandria, one hundred and 
fifty miles distant, enabling us to pass all the bars and obstructions 
in safety. 

TVords are inadequate to express the admiration I feel for the 
abilities of Lieutenant-Colonel Bailey. This is, without doubt, the 
best engineering feat ever performed. Under the best circumstances 
a private company would not have completed this work under one 
year, and to an ordinary mind the whole thing would have appeared 
an utter impossibility. Leaving out his abilities as an engineer, 
the credit he has conferred upon the country, he has saved to the 
JJnion a valuable fleet worth nearly two million dollars. More : he 
has deprived the enemy of a triumph which would have embold- 
ened them to carry on this war a year or two longer, for the in- 
tended departure of the army was a fixed fact, and there was noth- 
. ing left for me to do, in case that event occurred, but to destroy 
every part of the vessels, so that the rebels could make nothing of 
them. The highest honors that the Government can bestow on 
Colonel Bailey can never repay him for the service he has rendered 
the country. 

To General Banks personally I am much indebted for the 
happy manner in which he has forwarded this enterprise, giving it 
his whole attention night and day, scarcely sleeping while the work 



MEN IN WHOM THE COUNTRY FEELS AN INTEREST. 251 

was going on, tending personally to see that all the requirements of 
Colonel Bailey were complied with on the instant. 

I do not believe there ever was a case where such difficulties 
were overcome in such a short space of time, and without any 
preparation. 

I beg leave to mention the names of some of the persons en- 
gaged on this work, as I think that credit should be given every 
man employed on it. I am unable to give the names of all, but 
sincerely trust that General Banks will do full justice to every offi- 
cer engaged in this undertaking when he makes his report. I only 
regret that time did not enable me to get the names of all con- 
cerned. The following are the names of the most prominent per- 
sons : 

Lieutenant-Colonel Bailey, acting military engineer, Nineteenth 
Army Corps, in charge of the work. 

Lieutenant-Colonel Pearcall, assistant. 

Colonel Dwight, acting assistant inspector-general. 

Lieutenant-Colonel W. B. Kinsey, 161st New York Volunteers. 

Lieutenant-Colonel Hubbard, 30th Maine Volunteers. 

Major Sawtelle, provost marshal, and 

Lieutenant Williamson, ordnance officer. 

The following were a portion of the regiments employed : 29th 
Maine, commanded by Lieutenant- Colonel Emerson ; 116th New 
York, commanded by Colonel George M. Love ; 161st New York, 
commanded by Captain Prentiss ; 133d New York, commanded by 
Colonel Currie. 

The engineer regiment and officers of the Thirteenth Army 
Corps were also employed. 

I feel that I have done but feeble justice to the work or the per- 
sons engaged in it. Being severely indisposed, I feel myself unable 
to go into further details. I trust some future historian will treat 
this matter as it deserves to be treated, because it is a subject in 
which the whole country should feel an interest, and the noble men 
who succeeded so admirably in this arduous task should not lose 
one atom of credit so justly due them. 

The Mississippi squadron will never forget the obligations it is 
under to Lieutenant-Colonel Bailey. 

Previous to passing the vessels over the falls I had nearly all the 
guns, ammunition, provisions, chain-cables, anchors, and everything 
that could affect their draught, taken out of them. 

The commanders were indefatigable in their exertions to accom- 



252 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

plish the object before them, and a happier set of men -were never 
seen than when their vessels were once more in fighting trim. 

If this expedition has not been so successful as the country hoped 
for, it has exhibited the indomitable spirit of Eastern and Western 
men to overcome obstacles deemed by most people insurmountable. 
It has presented a new feature in the war, nothing like which haa 
ever been accomplished before. . . . 

I have the honor to be, very respectfully, 
Your obedient servant, 

David D. Portek, Ilear-Admiral. 
Hon. Gideon" Welles, 

Secretary of the Navy, WasJdngto?i, D. C. 

When all our vessels were over the dam the army prepared to 
move. The gun-boats took their batteries on board, which had 
been hauled around from above the falls. 

For nearly two miles below where the vessels lay imprisoned 
a flat rock was extended, over which I walked dry-shod, and in a 
week Colonel Bailey had raised the water to a height sufficient to 
float the gun-boats. 

How blank the Confederates must have looked when they found 
that their prey had escaped ! As for myself and officers, we never 
forgot the service that Colonel Bailey had rendered us, and the re- 
membrances we gave him will be handed down to his descendants 
and show future ages the estimation in which he was held. 

Throusfh him we saved a valuable set of vessels, without which 
the Mississippi would for a time have been given over to the incur- 
sions of guerrillas — a set of cowardly scoundrels who had no claim to 
the title of soldiers. 

When the Confederates saw that the fleet was likely to escape 
over the dam they assembled a force of artillery to stop the passage 
of the vessels below Alexandria, and attempted to force the lines of 
the Union army on the single road that led to the point they de- 
sired to reach. 

General McClernand had command of the outposts four miles 
from Alexandria, and directly on the road the Confederates desired 
to travel. The latter made a sudden and vigorous attack, causing 
a stampede among our troops, after which the enemy set fire to 
McClernand's camp. 

Everything had passed so pleasantly since our return to Alex- 
andria that no one suspected such a mean trick (!) on the part of 



GENERAL BANKS THANKS GENERAL SMITH. 253 

the Confederates, but the latter did not seem to mind the strictures 
which were passed upon them. 

When this attack occurred I was in General Smith's camp, dis- 
tant about a mile and a half from the scene of action. As soon as 
the general heard the firing he mounted his horse and galloped off 
to the front, ordering General Mower to follow with the troops of 
his division. It was a fine sight, those gallant fellows falling into 
line and going ofE at double quick after their gallant leader. I went 
along to see the fun, and, in twenty minutes after the alarm, Smith's 
men were on the ground and busy putting out the fire. 

As soon as the Confederates saw Smith and his men coming they 
decamped without having time to carry off any plunder, but they 
gained their point in turning McClernand's position. 

Smith's soldiers soon extinguished the fire, which had not done 
much damage, but, when they came across a lot of clothing which 
had been broken into by the enemy, they saw an opportunity which 
might not soon occur again, and proceeded to help themselves, 
leaving their old clothes for the quartermaster, so that he could 
square his accounts ; and, seeing McClernand's men reforming, they 
gave three cheers and marched back to camp. 

General Banks rode up to General Smith on the latter's return, 
and, with a courtly salutation, said, " General, I have again to thank 
you for timely help, and I shall not fail to notice the conduct of 
yourself and men in general orders." 

"It wasn't me, General," said Smith ; "it was my d — d ragged 
guerrillas ! " General Smith thought himself even for the remark 
which he had quoted, and which, perhaps unjustly, had been ascribed 
to General Banks. 

Smith and his men had not long returned before McClernand's 
quartermaster claimed his clothing, which was considered by the 
"ragged guerrillas " as a very good joke. 

The latter said the clothing was recaptured from the enemy, 
and was a lawful prize of war. How the matter was settled I never 
learned, but I think Smith's men went back to Memphis better 
dressed than when they started out. 

The next day, when everything was ready for the march. Cap- 
tain Selfridge informed me that he had been down the river in a 
tug and found the water lower in many places than it had been 
above "the falls," and inquired what I would do about it. 

I told him that Providence would take care of us ; that we would 
get out of the river without any more damming. 



254 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

Selfridge looked very doubtful, and probably thought the hard 
work up the river, sitting up all night drinking strong coffee and 
smoking cigars, had affected my brain ; but I felt confident that we 
should have water enough to get out of Eed Eiver. We had had 
so many narrow escapes that I did not believe Providence would de- 
sert us now. 

Banks's advance-guard started, and he went with it, while A. J. 
Smith was to bring up the rear. It would be twenty-four hours 
before the latter was to set out, and, if the water did not come in 
that time, I had determined to ask him to hold on until it did. 

Next morning, when I awoke, I found the water not only rising, 
but running up river. 

The explanation of this phenomenon was that, while the Eed 
Eiver was down to its lowest level, the Mississippi was rapidly ris- 
ing, and had attained a height of fifteen feet or so above the level 
of Eed Eiver. The surplus water was forced up Eed Eiver, and in 
a few hours reached its level at Alexandria, so that we had more 
water than was necessary, and went on our way rejoicing. 

Two or three days before we left Alexandria a circumstance oc- 
curred which seemed at one time likely to give rise to serious com- 
plications. I hardly like to mention the matter, as I have endeav- 
ored to avoid all subjects tending to reflect upon any one personally, 
and have in consequence been obliged to omit much that would be 
interesting. 

When General A. J. Smith and myself reached Alexandria on 
our way up Eed Eiver we were the captors, if a place that offered 
no resistance, and whose inhabitants made us welcome, could be 
said to have captors. 

We were there several days before General Banks and his main 
army arrived. 

The town had many large store-houses for cotton, corrals for cat- 
tle, and stables for horses — everything, in fact, that an army would 
require in that line. 

I needed a place where I could keep stores for the fleet, which 
were brought in by the semi-monthly mail-steamer belonging to the 
station, and so took possession of a small stable near the levee where 
my vessel made fast. The building contained three horse-stalls and 
space for two carriages, and suited me very well, though I had only 
one horse at the time to accommodate. 

When General Banks's army appeared, the quartermasters were 
running about in every direction to find buildings to accommodate 



LIEUTENANT GORRINGE AND A MILITARY GOVERNOR. 255 

their stores, and one of these officers had some twenty barrels which 
he had no place for except a store-house in the center of the town, 
which did not suit his convenience. He therefore asked Lieutenant 
Gorringe for permission to put the barrels in our stable temporarily. 

There they remained for more than a fortnight, when our store- 
Tessel arrived with a quantity of supplies which it was necessary to 
discharge at once. 

Lieutenant Gorringe therefore requested the quartermaster to 
remove his barrels, as there was no room in the store-house ; but 
that high functionary said ''he would see him damned first," add- 
ing, "You navy fellows have no business on shore anyway, and can 
keep your stores on board your vessels ; I shall take that store-house 
for myself." 

"When Gorringe reported the facts to me I told him there was 
but one thing to be done, as the dispatch-boat could not be kept 
waiting, and to put the quartermaster's barrels outside the door and 
notify him to remove them. 

Ten minutes after the quartermaster received this notice he ap- 
peared on the levee, swearing harder at Gorringe than did the army 
in Flanders, and declaring that our stores should not be put into 
the stable. 

The quartermaster went at once with a complaint to General 
, the military governor of Alexandria, a very clever and usu- 
ally courteous gentleman ; but I presume the quartermaster had 
told his own story, and led the general to suppose that his author- 
ity had been interfered with ; so he came at once to the levee with 
the quartermaster, both in a very angry frame of mind. 

The general ordered Lieutenant Gorringe to stop putting stores 
into the stable or he would send him to the guard-house ! 

To this Gorringe paid no attention, and the order was repeated 
in terms still more emphatic. 

Gorringe was not a person of angelic temper, and had a proper 
appreciation of the respect due him as an officer of the navy. 

" If you use such an expression as that to me again," he said to 
the general, " I will run my sword through your body ! " 

The general's rage was now at white heat, and he swore that he 
would not only put all the stores into the street, but he would ar- 
rest Gorringe and put him in the guard-house. And forthwith he 
started off for a guard to put his threat iuto execution, while Gor- 
ringe stepped on board the Cricket and reported the case to me. 

I at once directed fifty marines and two boat-howitzers, with 



256 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

their crews, to be landed for the protection of our stores and the 
officers and men of the navy who were simply attending to their 
duty. 

I said to Lieutenant Gorringe, " I hope you have sailed long 
enough with me to know my views in such matters, and how to 
defend yourself and the Government property placed under your 
charge. " 

When the military guard of twenty men arrived at the levee to 
arrest Gorringe, they were much astonished to find themselves con- 
fronted by the marines. 

The military governor was checkmated, and, like all men who 
have exceeded their authority, he did not know what to do. He 
was much more civil than on his first visit, and asked Lieutenant 
Gorringe what he was doing there with his marines. 

"I am here," answered Gorringe, "by order of my command- 
ing officer, to protect naval property, and prevent any person in the 
navy from being arrested while performing his duty," 

" Disband your forces at once," said the military governor, "or 
I will proceed to extremities." 

"You can do so as soon as you please," said the other. 

This was a dilemma for the military officer, who, though in- 
vested with power to preserve the peace, had no authority to inter- 
fere with another branch of the service, especially as the command- 
er-in-chief of the naval forces was equal in rank to the general 
in command of the army, perfectly independent of him, and co- 
operating with him at his own volition, for during the whole war the 
Navy Department left me entirely free to do as I thought proper in 
this respect, and gave me no orders to co-operate with anybody. 

" I must see the admiral at once," said the military governor. 
To which Lieutenant Gorringe replied that he would inform the 
admiral that the general wished to see him, which he accordingly did. 

"Ask him to come on board," I said ; and the general shortly 
entered the cabin, where I was busily writing. I arose and politely 
requested him to be seated until I could sign and send off a letter. 
This document was to Gorringe and simply said " Hold on ! " 

I then made some observations to the general on the beautiful 
weather we were having, and the satisfaction I experienced at seeing 
him in a position requiring so much judgment and forbearance, 
and that our co-operation so far had been of such a pleasant nature 
that I should always look back to this time with the most delight- 
ful recollections, as there could not by any possibility be any mis- 



A SLIGHT DISPUTE WITH THE NAVY. 257 

understanding between the army and navy, their duties being so 
distinct from each other, and the only chance of their clashing 
would be through the stupid blunder of an irresponsible officer. 

For myself I felt sure that no one under my command would 
take the liberty of interfering with any army officer. 

The military governor could scarcely contain himself while I 
was calmly talking, and, as soon as possible, commenced giving me 
his version of the case, and how my officer had threatened him with 
his sword, etc. 

*' Ah, then you are the gentleman who damned my lieutenant ; 
I really wonder he didn't run you through, for he is very easily 
excited." 

The general looked astonished that I did not adopt his view of 
the case. 

Then I told him he had not only forgotten himself in regard to 
Lieutenant Gorringe, but that he had been guilty of great discour- 
tesy toward myself and the navy, and that I would support Lieu- 
tenant Gorringe to the last. The general went away a sadder and, 
I hope, a wiser man. 

While the general was on board my vessel a large crowd had 
assembled at the stable, and reports flew rapidly around the town 
that a riot had taken place between the soldiers and sailors. 

" Halloo, boys ! " said some of General A. J. Smith's men, 
"there's a row between Banks's men and the navy ; let's stand by 
the navy." So down came five or six hundred of Smith's corps and 
ranged themselves alongside the marines, showing by their looka 
that they meant business, while the military governor's guard evi- 
dently took little interest in the dispute. It was generally under- 
stood that the trouble was about the occupancy of an old stable 
that had been used by the navy ever since the capture of Alexan- 
dria, and the feeling was all in favor of the navy. 

The military governor, upon consideration, withdrew his guard 
and left us in peaceable possession. 

Shortly afterward I received a letter from General Banks in- 
forming me that the navy had taken possession of a quartermaster's 
store-house, and that I must deliver it up at once ! If I failed to do 
this and any unhappy consequences should grow out of the affair, 
all the responsibility would rest upon my head, etc. In reply, I 
informed the general that my head could bear all the responsi- 
bility, and that I would hold on to that stable as long as there was 
a shot in the locker. 
17 



258 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

That ended this foolish business. General Banks had not re- 
coYered from the effects of the battle of Mansfield or Sabine Cross- 
Koads, and thinking he might need the aid of the gun-boats before 
he got through, he did not care to exasperate the sailors. Then 
he may have thought his troops would be indisposed to enter upon 
such an enterprise. 

Above all. General Banks was a good-natured man who disliked 
trouble, and doubtless thought the navy very ungrateful, after he 
had given them the opportunity of seeing the Ked River country, to 
act in such an unfriendly manner. 

Before General Banks quitted Alexandria the transports were 
filled up with cotton, and a large number of negroes of all ages as- 
sembled at the levee to take passage to New Orleans. 

One steamer, heavily loaded and in convoy of a small *' tin-clad " 
gun-boat, started down the river, and some sixty miles below the 
town the two vessels were attacked by the battery which had suc- 
ceeded in forcing its way by McClernand's division. The guns 
were so placed as to have a complete cross-fire on the vessels. The 
gun-boat was soon cut to pieces and the one with the cotton 
burned. 

The news of this disaster reached Alexandria the night previous 
to our departure, and an order was thereupon issued to land all the 
cotton from the transports, and it was pitched on shore without 
any care for its safety ; at the same time the town of Alexandria 
was set on fire in a dozen places, principally in the store-houses 
filled with cotton. 

The conflagration was a terrible one, and as the army marched 
away and the transports left the levee, they were covered with cin- 
ders and blazing flakes of cotton from the burning buildings. At 
one time I thought all the transports would be consumed, and it 
only needed that to make the retreat the most melancholy affair of 
the season. 

The inhabitants rushed to the levee with such household goods 
as they could save, in hopes of getting away in the steamers ; but 
they were not allowed to go on board, and the last I saw of them 
they were sitting by their property, weeping as only those can weep 
who have lost their homes. 

I felt for these poor people, but could not help them, for there 
was no room for them on board the gun-boats, which had to be in 
readiness to drive away the batteries that might be raised along the 
river to oppose our passage. 



THE RED RIVER EXPEDITION. 259 

The burning of Alexandria was a fit termination of the unfortu- 
nate Red River expedition, although it was very hard on many poor 
people who had taken no part in the Rebellion. 

The cotton speculators were properly punished for the greed 
which had brought them into the country, but, although great 
losses were entailed upon many persons who had taken part in the 
hostilities against the United States and thought themselves safe 
from our armies, yet the cause of the Union received no benefit. 

The expedition was originated more for the purpose of getting 
cotton out of the country through an understanding with the ene- 
my than for vindicating the laws and re-establishing the authority of 
the United States Government ; and it was certainly conducted in 
violation of military principles. 

I have given here a brief outline of operations in Red River, but 
have prepared a detailed account of the whole matter, which, for 
the present, I withhold from publication. 

The morning after we started from Alexandria I arose at day- 
break to see the army march by, General Banks taking the road along 
the river, where he could have the co-operation of the gun-boats. 
As the troops passed by next morning, their commander-in-chief 
was lying on the ground ("his martial cloak around him"), worn 
out with fatigue and responsibility. It reminded me of Napoleon 
sleeping in the snow while his troops were marching by to descend 
into the plains of Italy. 

Everything progressed favorably. General Emory led the ad- 
vance and General A. J. Smith brought up the rear, and the ene- 
my, although constantly skirmishing, kept at a respectful distance. 
Our troops finally embarked and left the country with perfect satis- 
faction, the Confederates being equally pleased to get rid of them. 

Behold the difference I Grant landed at Bruensburg with thirty- 
two thousand men, whipped eighty thousand, and invested Vicks- 
burg, which he finally forced to surrender. 

Banks entered the Red River country with forty-two thousand 
men and two hundred wagons. Twenty thousand Confederates 
claimed that they drove our army from the country. 

It was not really so bad as that, but the army ought to have 
stayed there. 

Under Grant or Sherman, or many of the officers composing 
that army, it would have gone not only through the Red River 
country, but into Texas, without any trouble, for that army con- 
sisted of as fine material as ever went into the field. It would have 



260 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

been more than a match for any army the Confederates could have 
opiDosed to it. 

I think General Banks had a great deal to contend against be- 
sides the enemy. Providence was manifestly against the expedi- 
tion, doubtless displeased to see so fine an army used for such an 
unworthy purpose, and was determined it should receive mortifica- 
tion instead of victory. 

Yet, although deprived of victory, we had no great loss of life 
to complain of, and much useful experience was gained. It was 
certainly an interesting and instructive episode of the war. 

Out of all the fine fellows who served with me in the Eed Eiver 
expedition, but few remain in the navy. Death has claimed many 
of them, and some, worn out with disease, are on the retired list. 

Of those who accompanied me to Loggy Bayou, I recall only 
Selfridge as still in active service. He has only attained the rank 
of captain, and had to wait long and patiently for that. 

I have not eulogized my officers in this connection, but in my 
official reports to the Secretary of the Navy I have done them jus- 
tice, and I don't think any of them ever found fault with me for 
not appreciating their services. 

Selfridge has had a singular career. He had the fortune to 
serve in ships that went to the bottom. He first was sunk in the 
Cumberland, in Hampton Roads, by the rebel ram Merrimac ; 
then he joined me in the Mississippi, and was blown up in the Ya- 
zoo Eiver by a torpedo. I immediately ordered him to the com- 
mand of the Conestoga, and some time afterward that vessel was 
run down by one of our own rams and went to the bottom. 

I told SeKridge that, to cure him of his habit of sinking, I 
would order him to the " turtle-back " Neosho and change his luck. 
** You have tried all the other kinds of vessels," I said, "and they 
either go up or down with you ; take the Neosho, and may your 
shadow never be less." 

Selfridge started in search of fame, and did good work with the 
vessel while in command of her. After the Eed Eiver expedition 
I sent him up the Mississippi, and in a few days followed after. 

One day I saw a sand-bank in the middle of the river, and the 
Neosho in the middle of the sand-bank. "Here," I exclaimed, " is 
Selfridge in a new rdfe." 

Selfridge came on board to explain the mystery. He had an- 
chored at a point where the rebels were trying to pass some cattle 
across the river, and he determined to prevent them. It was the 



.4 1 



CAPTAIN SELFRIDGE'S LUCK. 261 

only road, and they had to turn back with their cattle. Probably 
the river fell faster than usual ; but one morning the Neosho was 
high and dry, and there was no necessity of going away from the 
ship for sand to holy-stone decks with. 

As soon as Selfridge had made his report I said : " Come, pack 
your trunk and go with me. The vessel is in an excellent position, 
commanding that road ; no one can get at her to board her, and 
we'll leave her in charge of the first lieutenant." 

I took Selfridge to Mound City and gave him command of the 
powerful ram Vindicator, after which everything went along 
smoothly with him. 

He accompanied me on the Fort Fisher expedition, and only 
lost a foretopmast, and has had good luck ever since. His was a 
curious series of mishaps, yet in all of them he gained reputation. 



CHAPTER XXII. 

TAKE COMMAND OF NOETH ATLANTIC SQUADRON — RENEW AN OLD 
ACQUAINTANCE — A VISIT FROM GENERAL BUTLER — THE GEN- 
ERAL'S FLAG-SHIP BLOWN UP — SAVE THE GENERAL FROM A 
DUCKING — THE GENERAL VISITS THE MALVERN WITH A PLAN 
OF POWDER-BOAT TO BLOW UP FORT FISHER — AN ENSIGN SETS 
THE PLAN TO MUSIC AND RHYME — A STEAMER AND ONE HUN- 
DRED AND FIFTY TONS OF POWDER REQUIRED TO DO THE WORK 
— ^THE ADMIRAL, IN THE EXCITEMENT OF THE MOMENT, TELE- 
GRAPHS FOR FIFTEEN THOUSAND TONS OF POWDER — THE CHIEF 
OF BUREAU OF ORDNANCE OFFERS HIM MOUNT VESUVIUS AND 
NIAGARA FALLS TO DO THE WORK WITH — THE POWDER-BOAT 
DISTURBS THE SENTINELS AT FORT FISHER — FORT FISHER DOES 
NOT BLOW UP WORTH A CENT — A TRAP SET FOR BLOCKADE- 
RUNNERS — AN IRISH TORPEDO-BOAT — FALL OF WILMINGTON. 

In October, 1864, I took command of the North Atlantic 
squadron, with directions to bombard Fort Fisher and the other 
defenses at the mouth of Cape Fear River. 

From my study of the subject I was satisfied that the reduction 
of these works could only be accomplished by a combined military 
and naval force, and General Grant had promised that a body of 



262 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

troops should be ready at the proper time — when all the naval ves- 
sels had assembled in Hampton Eoads. 

General Grant was anxious to do everything he could to forward 
the expedition ; but, as the troops would have to be taken from 
General Butler's command, which occupied an important position 
on the left bank of the James Eiver, they could not be removed 
until arrangements were made for other troops to take their place. 

I was walking with General Grant at City Point, on the James 
Eiver, when I espied General Butler approaching, and said to 
Grant : " Please don't introduce me to Butler. We had a little 
difficulty at New Orleans, and although I attach no importance to 
the matter, perhaps he does." 

'' Oh ! " said Grant, " you will find Butler quite willing to for- 
get old feuds, and, as the troops who are to accompany you will be 
taken from his command, it will be necessary for you to communi- 
cate with him from time to time." So when General Butler came 
up the introduction took place. The general was very pleasant, 
and I invited him to lunch with me on board the vessel in which I 
had come up the river ; so a good understanding was apparently 
established between us. 

From my knowledge of General Butler's peculiarities, I thought 
it best we should not co-operate in so important an affair as the at- 
tack on Fort Fisher, for when men have once had an encounter of 
sharp words they are not likely ever again to be in complete accord 
with each other ; and the general and myself had had a little diflB- 
culty at New Orleans at a time when he had not been long enough 
in military employment to understand the courtesy due from the 
ofificers of either branch of the service to the other. I presume I 
had my peculiarities as well as the general, one of them being a 
determination not to submit to rudeness from any one. 

As far as I was concerned, I did not intend to let past differ- 
ences stand in the way, but I feared the general had not forgotten 
the trouble, and that it might interfere with the important opera- 
tions that were intended. 

I therefore suggested to General Grant the propriety of sending 
some one in command of the land forces with whom I would be in 
entire accord, and Grant thereupon said he would send General 
Weitzel in command, a selection with which I was quite satisfied. 

General Butler made himself very agreeable in bis intercourse 
with me, and was apparently very busy in making preparations for 
embarking the troops that were to go to Fort Fisher. We visited 



A VISIT FROM GENERAL BUTLER. 263 

each other and hobnobbed together. I was pleased with his zeal 
for the success of the expedition, and as General Weitzel was always 
with him when he visited my flag-ship, I took it for granted that 
Weitzel's going in command of the troops was a fixed fact. 

Butler made many visits, but the troops were not forthcoming, 
though winter was approaching, and it was necessary we should 
commence operations before it became too stormy on the coast. 
The fleet was all ready, and, as time passed, my patience was be- 
coming exhausted. 

In a leisure interval I went up the James Eiver to Dutch Gap 
in the flag-ship Malvern to give orders to the vessels that would be 
left there in my absence. The cutting of the canal at Dutch Gap 
was a very good idea, contrary to the general impression, and should 
have been undertaken earlier in the war. 

"While I was at Dutch Gap, General Butler came up to see me 
in the Greyhound, which was his headquarters when afloat. This 
vessel deserved her name, for she was a long, lean-looking craft, 
and the fastest steamer on the river. 

The general informed me that Mr. Fox, Assistant Secretary of 
the Navy, wished to see me without delay at Hampton Eoads on 
important business, and, as my flag-ship was rather a slow vessel, 
he would take me down in the Greyhound. To this I agreed. 

The Greyhound had been lying about an hour at the bank when 
we started down river. 

The vicinity of Dutch Gap was a kind of neutral ground be- 
tween the two armies, where prisoners were exchanged, and all sorts 
of people seemed to be hanging around the neighborhood. I never 
saw so many hang-dog-looking rascals congregated together in one 
place. The Confederates doubtless had spies there all the time 
among the adventurers who always follow in the wake of a great 
army. 

I found General Schenck on board the Greyhound as Butler's 
guest ; he had suffered from his wounds, and was taking a little ex- 
cursion for the benefit of his health. 

There were no arms on board the Greyhound to my knowledge 
except General Butler's sword, which, though a formidable-look- 
ing weapon, was of no use to any one except the owner, who seldom 
laid it aside. 

The general's boat's crew wore Ms uniform, but had not so much 
as a pop-gun among them. 

There was a captain and a pilot, an engineer, several firemen 



264 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

and coal-lieayers, a couple of deck-hands, and a cook and stew- 
ard. 

I never carried a sword or pistol at any time ; neither did Gen- 
eral Schenck ; so here was a vessel, totally unarmed, carrying two 
major-generals up and down the James Eiver with nothing to pro- 
tect them, to say nothing of an admiral who seldom traveled in 
such a careless fashion. 

The two generals immediately sat down to a jjolitical discussion, 
while I thought I would take a turn through the upper saloon of 
the Greyhound, which was fitted like most passenger-steamers of 
her class, although her saloon may have been a little more gorgeous 
than usual. She cost the Government only about $500 a day, 
and carried the general with great speed from point to point where 
his services were required. Every general of importance had a ves- 
sel for this purpose, but the Greyhound was the gem of them all. 

It was about half an hour after we started down the river that 
I went up to the saloon, and there I found half a dozen of those 
cut-throat-looking fellows, such as haunted Dutch Gap, scattered 
through the apartment. 

I was so much struck with the appearance of these men and the 
confusion they exhibited that I said to one of them, " What are 
you doing here ? Does the Greyhound carry first-class passen- 
gers?" The fellow glared impudently at me and said, "We are 
just lookin' round to see how you fellers live ; we ain't a doin' no 
harm." 

Not wishing to let these men see that I suspected them, I walked 
about quietly, as if amusing myself, while they, one after another 
disappeared below. 

I went immediately to General Butler and said, "General, I 
don't particularly care to be captured just now, as I have important 
business on hand, and I don't suppose you do either ; but you have 
a cargo of the worst-looking wretches on board this vessel that ever 
I laid eyes on ; hadn't you better look after them before they do 
any harm ? " 

The general acted promptly and ordered the captain to round- 
to at Bermuda Hundreds, and turned our passengers over to a 
guard to give an account of themselves, much to their disgust. 
After a thorough search to see that there were no stowaways on 
board, we proceeded on our way, no one attaching much importance 
to the fellows whom we had put ashore, as it was supposed they 
were merely loafers trying to get to Hampton Koads free of expense. 



EXPLOSION AND DESTRUCTION OF THE GREYHOUND. 265 

"We had left Bermuda Hundreds five or six miles behind us 
when suddenly an explosion forward startled us, and in a moment 
large volumes of smoke poured out of the engine-room. The en- 
gineer at once closed the throttle-valve, stopping the vessel, and 
opened the safety-valve ; the steam rushed out, and the Greyhound 
howled louder than her living namesake would have done. 

The generals stopped their conversation, and the crew seized 
the planks lying about the deck and Jumped overboard. 

''What's that?" exclaimed General Butler. 

" Torpedo ! " I answered. " I know the sound." 

The vessel was now in flames amidships, and the upper saloon 
filled with smoke like that from coal-tar. We were cut off com- 
pletely from the crew, whom we did not know had jumped over- 
board. 

I was in full vigor at that time, and possessed considerable 
bodily strength. The general's gig hung at the port quarter, its 
bow resting on a house abaft the wheel. I put my shoulder under 
the boat and raised it from its rest, while the steward hauled in the 
slack of the tackle. When the boat was clear of the wheel-house I 
lowered the after-tackle and left the boat hanging within two feet 
of the water. I then lowered a smaller boat on the starboard side, 
put the steward and stewardess in her, and bade them look out for 
themselves. In the mean time some of the gig's crew had swam 
around to the gangway, and we all got into the boat and shoved off, 
with the exception of the captain of the steamer, who worked hia 
way aft, hauled down the colors, and seated himself on the rudder, 
whence we took him off. 

From the moment of the explosion until the time of our leav- 
ing the Greyhound was certainly less than five minutes, yet the 
flames made such progress that the general's aid, who had gathered 
up some of his papers and was the last one to get into the boat, had 
his hand burned. 

We picked up the rest of the men who were floating in the 
water, and then lay on our oars watching the conflagration. The 
Greyhound was now wrapped in flames from one end to the other, 
and, in newspaper parlance, was a "grand spectacle." 

There was one melancholy event connected with the destruction 
of the Greyhound. General Butler had two or three fine horses on 
board, and their cries when the flames reached them were dreadful 
to hear, but their sufferings lasted only a short time, and their last 
groans were unheard amid the roaring of the flames, the crashing 



2G6 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

of timbers, and tlie noise of tlie steam, wliicli continued blowing 
oS to the last. 

I think I saved General Butler a ducking on that occasion, if 
not his life ; but I am afraid he forgot the service, although I 
would have worked as hard to get him out of that vessel, even had 
I known beforehand he would try to injure me. 

Shortly afterward an army transport, loaded with troops for 
Hampton Roads, came along, and General Butler proposed we 
should take passage in her ; but I had had enough of army steam- 
ers for one day, and, knowing that we should soon meet a navy 
tug, I proposed to pull on down the river. In half an hour we met 
the tug, went on board, and turned her back to Fortress Monroe. 

The firemen were just going to dinner as we embarked, but 
kindly volunteered to relinquish their meal to us ; so we sat down 
to pork and beans served in tin plates with iron spoons, and en- 
joyed it as much as if it had been a dinner at Delmonico's. 

I do not know that there was ever any investigation into the 
loss of the Greyhound. My theory was that the fellows put ashore 
at Bermuda Hundreds had planned to capture General Butler and 
destroy the Greyhound, and I believe they were provided wibh tor- 
pedoes to throw among the coal, which they could easily do when 
the firemen's backs were turned. They could also have saturated 
the wood-work in the vicinity of the engine and fire-rooms with 
tar-oil with very little chance of detection. 

When the torpedo was thrown into the furnace with the coal, 
it soon burst, blowing the furnace-doors open and throwing the 
burning mass into the fire-room, where it communicated with the 
wood-work. Perhaps the shell may have contained some volatile 
matter which caught the saturated wood. We were furnished with 
such shells ourselves during the war, but never used them. Only 
a few months ago the inventor inquired of me how many had been 
expended by the navy during the war, probably with the idea of 
claiming a royalty. 

In whatever manner the Greyhound was set on fire, I am sure 
it was not one of the ordinary accidents to which all ships are lia- 
ble. In devices for blowing up vessels the Confederates were far 
ahead of us, putting Yankee ingenuity to shame. 

When we reached Hampton Roads a large assembly of the gen- 
eral's friends was there to congratulate him on his escape from 
death, but the rest of us were unnoticed. I slipped on board one 
of the vessels of the squadron and invited myself to take tea 



HOW TO BLOW UP FORT FISHER. 267 

with the captain, but resolved to keep clear of army steamers in 
future. 

"We waited patiently for the soldiers promised by General Grant. 
It was no use to attack Fort Fisher without them, for, although 
we might disable the guns, we could not take possession of the 
place. The defenders would stow themselves away in bomb-proofs, 
and would be safe against our fire. All I wanted of the army was 
to occupy the works after I had finished with them. I supposed 
they would have some fighting to do, but did not think they would 
meet with any great loss. 

One day General Butler came on board the Malvern, accompa- 
nied by Genera] Weitzel, some of his staff, and a reporter, and said 
that he had an important communication to make to me. 

I had a faint hope that there was now a prospect of getting the 
fleet off to Fort Fisher. I saw plainly that I could not get away 
until General Butler chose to send his troops, for at that time But- 
ler was in the zenith of his power and seemed to do pretty much as 
he pleased. 

When we were all in the cabin, including Captain K. R. Breese, 
my fleet-captain. General Butler said, " The communication I have 
to make is so important that I deem it necessary to observe the 
greatest secrecy." Then he and Weitzel and the stenographic 
reporter whispered together. This was a common practice with 
these gentlemen when they visited my ship, as if they hesitated 
about taking me into their confidence ; but I was willing to stand 
almost any nonsense if I could only get off, although by nature not 
of the most patient disposition. 

'*Mr. Reporter," said the general, ''don't you miss one syllable 
that I say, and put it down exactly as I say it. Weitzel, you pay 
attention. Remember, this proposition is altogether mine. I have 
never mentioned it to anybody except you. " Then he whispered 
for a while to Weitzel, and took his seat, evidently much excited — 
something like a hen that has laid an egg. 

My patience was rapidly evaporating when the stenographer got 
down to his work, the general watching every word he wrote. Gen- 
eral Butler seemed so intent on his project, and so earnest, that I 
began to be curious to hear all about it. I had not the faintest 
idea what he was driving at. It certainly could not be a balloon 
attack, for we had no balloons, and couldn't get them without an 
act of Congress. Perhaps, thought I, he intends to introduce rat- 
tlesnakes into Fort Fisher on the sly ; but this idea I at once dis- 



268 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

missed ; there was nothing in the Constitution which would au- 
thorize such a proceeding. 

I whispered to Captain Breese, " The general is going to propose 
his * petroleum bath,' such as he has already proposed to use on 
James River. He is going to attack Fort Fisher from seaward by 
setting afloat tons of petroleum when the wind is on shore, and, by 
igniting it, knock the rebs out of their boots ! " I thought the ab- 
surdity of such an idea would be a great recommendation, especially 
as it would cost a great deal of money, for at that time there was 
great competition in Washington as to which department could 
make the largest expenditure. 

At length the reporter stood up and read what he had taken 
down. I never obtained a copy of the precious original, but one 
of my aides got hold of it and turned it into rhyme. As well as 
my memory serves me it ran as follows : 

" You have, no doubt, heard of the Eiver Thames, 
A stream just about the size of the James, 
"Where at Erith the magazine burst into flames : 

'Twas a great magazine, 

Strong as any you've seen. 
But 'twas blown into atoms, just by a spark 
Getting into the powder. A fool in the dark 
Sat smoking a penny cigar in a barge 
Filled up with explosives which he had in charge. 

" For miles away, it is reported to me, 
There was not to be seen a house or a tree 
That was not shattered, blown up, or blown down ; 
There was not a glass left in the neighboring town, 

And the birds on their perch 

Took an awful lee lurch ; 
The cows milked water, the dogs lost their bark, 
All owing to powder and a very small spark. 
The hens stopped laying, the cats got afraid 
To enliven the night with their sweet serenade." 

There was a good deal more of this, but it has been forgotten. 
The amount of it was that the general proposed to blow up Fort 
Fisher with a " powder-boat " laden with one hundred and fifty 
tons of powder. He argued the subject with so much eloquence, 
and showed such a knowledge of pyrotechnics, that no one could 
controvert his opinions. 

"When the matter of the proposed powder-boat had been sub- 



THE "POWDER-BOAT" SCHEME. 269 

mitted, I saw at once that here was something to simplify matters 
very much, requiring no act of Congress or interference of the 
Committee on the Conduct of the War ! 

The army and navy had plenty of bad powder and worthless 
vessels — in fact, material for half a dozen powder-boats if neces- 
sary. 

I don't know whether the general claimed the powder-boat as 
an original idea, but there is nothing new under the sun, and such 
a means of attack has been employed before. 

I arose from my seat, and in a short speech accepted the gener- 
al's plan, at the same time eulogizing the head that could conceive 
such a brilliant idea. The navy and the powder-boat would be all- 
sufficient, and I rather liked the notion, as the expedition would be 
entirely a naval affair, and I was not anxious to repeat my Red 
Eiver experience on the Atlantic coast. 

I think I stood higher in General Butler's estimation at that 
moment than I have ever done before or since, for, on the whole, 
he didn't seem to fancy me, as I had an unpleasant way of speak- 
ing my mind freely and not permitting any one to interfere with 
my business. 

I don't hesitate to say that I encouraged this scheme of a pow- 
der-boat, for in it I saw the road to success, and I was pleased to 
see that, notwithstanding General Butler's enthusiasm at the idea 
of blowing up Fort Fisher, he was not at all disinclined to have the 
navy go along, and also the contingent of troops that had 'been 
originally proposed! 

Many persons have ridiculed General Butler's plan, but in war 
it is worth while to try everything, and some of our most scientific 
officers in Washington were so much impressed with the idea of the 
powder-boat that they carefully investigated the subject. The re- 
sult of their calculations went to show that if a hundred and fifty 
tons of powder, confined in an inclosed space, could be at once ex- 
ploded at a short distance from Fort Fisher, the concussion would 
displace so much air and so rapidly that it would kill every living 
thing in the vicinity, and wipe the sand fort out of existence. 

At this lapse of time I have forgotten how much faith I really 
had in the project, but I must have been somewhat excited, as I 
telegraphed to Captain Wise, Chief of the Bureau of Ordnance, 
Navy Department, that 1 wanted fifteen thousand tons of powder 
to blow up Fort Fisher, instead of one hundred and fifty tons, the 
amount asked for by General Butler. I was vexed at Wise's an- 



270 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

swer : " Why don't you make a requisition for Niagara Falls and 
Mount Vesuvius ? they will do the job for you." 

This little mistake of two ciphers would indicate that I was not 
so phlegmatic as usual, so I really think I must have believed in 
the scheme. 

After General Butler and his staff had departed, Captain 
Breese said to me : ''Admiral, you certainly don't believe in that 
idea of a powder-boat. It has about as much chance of blowing 
up the fort as I have of flying ! " 

" And who knows," I said, *' whether a machine may not soon be 
perfected to enable us all to fly, as it only requires a forty-horse 
power in a cubic foot of space, and a propeller that will make such 
a vacuum that the air will rush in and drive the thing along." 

Breese looked disappointed that I should lend myself to such a 
project. I directed him to make signal to the powder-magazine 
and inquire how much powder they had on hand. 

Breese sighed as he walked out of the cabin, and I thought I 
heard him say "All bosh ! " — but one has to be a Jittle deaf occa- 
sionally. 

In answer to a telegram, I was told by the Navy Department 
to take any steamer I wanted for blowing up, for both the War 
and Navy Departments highly approved the powder-boat scheme ; 
in fact. General Butler had a right to be proud of the support he 
received from some of the most " scientific " men in both branches 
of the service. 

I sent a tug to Newbern, North Carolina, for the steamer Louisi- 
ana, a valuable vessel, worth at least a thousand dollars ! I calcu- 
lated that by passing hawsers around her and " setting them taut," 
she would hold together long enough to get to Fort Fisher. 

Next day the powder-boat arrived at Hampton Roads, and Cap- 
tain Jeffers, of the Ordnance Bureau, came from Washington to 
take charge of loading her and laying the " Gomer fuse," which 
would ignite any quantity of powder quicker than lightning — that 
is, if the fuse went off, which it sometimes failed to do. 

Several young army officers fresh from West Point also ap- 
peared on the scene, bringing with them a cart-load of books relat- 
ing to explosives, and in the course of their researches one of them 
discovered that the illustrious Chi-Fung, a Chinese general, had 
blown up an enemy's fort with gunpowder several centuries before 
the discovery of America, but whether he used a powder-boat his- 
tory did not say. 



"ARRIVAL OF THE 'POWDER-BOAT.'" 271 

The day the steamer arrived I sent an officer to General Weit- 
zel's camp to find out quietly if anything different from usual was 
going on. He returned shortly after and informed me that they 
were telling off the contingent that was to go to Fort Fisher, that 
transports were assembling near Dutch Gap, and everybody was 
talking hopefully of what the powder-boat would do. The soldiers 
seemed to fancy they would have an easy job, as the fort and all 
its contents would be blown away. 

"Breese," I said to the fleet-captain, *' I hope now you believe 
in the powder-boat. Issue an order for all the vessels to be ready 
to sail at noon to-morrow, and have two steamers on hand to tow 
the powder-boat down." 

I then visited the powder-boat, and never saw greater enthusi- 
asm. Officers were hard at work in their shirt-sleeves, and the 
" Gomer fuse," like a huge tape-worm, was working its way through 
piles of powder-bags. Every bag had a piece of fuse around it, so 
that there would be no mistake about its going off. 

In the cabin of the powder-boat was a peculiar clock to fire the 
fuse at any time desired. There were candles that would burn a 
given number of minutes and then explode, and there were hand- 
grenades that would fall at a given time and set the vessel on fire. 

These were fine contrivances ; but I ordered half a cord of pine- 
knots piled up in the cabin, to be ignited by the last man who left 
the ship, and this was what finally did the work. 

The powder-boat left that night, and next day at noon the fleet, 
consisting of seventy-five or eighty well-armed vessels, got under 
way from Hampton Eoads, the flag-ship Malvern bringing up the 
rear. 

As the flag-ship quitted the anchorage the transports were 
sighted with the troops on board. 

We all arrived at the rendezvous near Fort Fisher, and every 
one was enjoined to be cautious. 

The fleet lay some ten miles off shore, but the commanding offi- 
cers of vessels were advised not to have too much steam up for fear 
of bursting their boilers when the explosion took place. One cap- 
tain asked if it would not be prudent to send down top-gallant masts 
and yards, and brace the lower yards sharp up. I told him " No," for 
there might be a gun or two left in the works after the explosion, 
and he would need his sail to get out in case a shot should perforate 
his boilers. 

General Butler's transports lay at New Inlet, some distance to 



272 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

the northward, but I supposed he would soon be on the ground to 
stand by and charge the ruined works after the explosion. 

At ten o'clock on the night succeeding our arrival the powder- 
boat was towed in abreast of the fort and anchored near the shore, 
the clock was started, candles lighted, hand-grenades fixed, and the 
wood-pile ignited — not a soul in the fort aware of the terrible fate 
that awaited them. In ten minutes the powder-boat blew up, and 
the ships stood in to the attack. Official accounts will tell the rest. 

" But the powder-boat didn't, like that on the Thames, 
Set houses and barns and the towns all in flames; 
And the dogs still barked, and no cats were afraid 
To disturb the mild night with their sweet serenade." 

The night the powder-boat was exploded a boat from shore came 
off with four deserters from the enemy. I asked what effect the 
explosion had on the people in the fort. 

" It was dreadful," said one of the men ; " it woke up everybody 
in Fort Fisher ! " 

But I do believe, notwithstanding, that the explosion had its 
effect on the enemy, for next morning, when the ships attacked, 
the Confederates fought as if they meant business, and the powder- 
boat waked them up to some purpose. 

It was not General Butler's fault that the scheme was not a suc- 
cess. Something was wrong in the powder, or it could not all have 
exploded ; for, while standing on the deck of the Malvern the morn- 
ing after the surrender of Fort Fisher, the earth-works seemed to 
be in motion, the light was obscured by smoke and sand, amid 
which I could see the bodies of many people carried up in the air, 
and I heard a great explosion which shook the earth. Then I 
learned that Fort Fisher had blown np and killed a number of our 
men — yet only four tons of powder exploded. 

This would indicate that the conception of the powder-boat was 
a good one, and, if it could only have been got near enough to the 
fort or inside, and all the powder exploded, it would have demol- 
ished the works and their occupants. 

I shall always feel under the gi-eatest obligations to the powder- 
boat, for, although it failed to blow up Fort Fisher, it did what 
nothing else could have done — it started the expedition off. Conr 
sidering all things, it was a cheap experiment in pyrotechnics, for 
the powder cost not more than sixty thousand dollars, and the ves- 
sel was absolutely worthless. 



TRAP FOR BLOCKADE-RUNNERS. 273 

Had she not gone up in a blaze of glory she might to-day have 
figured on the navy-list as an effective vessel of war, while slowly 
decaying at her berth in Rotten Row ! 

After the failure to capture Fort Fisher I wrote to General 
Grant, " Send me the same soldiers with another general, and we 
will have the fort." So the soldiers were sent under command of 
General Terry, and, after a fight that did credit to all concerned, 
we succeeded on January 15, 1865. 

Then we worked our way up the Cape Fear River, all of which 
has been duly recorded in the official reports of the day. 

After Cape Fear River was in our possession it struck me that 
it would be a good plan to set a trap for blockade-runners, who 
could not have heard of the change of affairs, and I put the inde- 
fatigable Lieutenant Gushing at work to establish decoy signals and 
range-lights, and this, with the assistance of the " intelligent con- 
traband," who was always on hand. Gushing soon accomplished. 

On the night of the 19th of January two long, light-colored ob- 
jects were seen moving up the Cape Fear River, and in a few mo- 
ments came to anchor near the flag-ship. These were the Stag and 
Charlotte, two blockade-running steamers, and they had hardly got 
their anchors down before our boats boarded them and summoned 
them to surrender. 

The officers and passengers of the Charlotte were Just sitting 
down to an elegant supper, in honor of their safe arrival, when the 
boarding officer walked into the cabin and announced to the aston- 
ished company that they were prisoners. 

" The Yankees have got us, by thunder ! " exclaimed one of the 
revelers, while consternation for the moment reigned round the 
board. 

Among the passengers were several distinguished Englishmen, 
one or two of them officers of the British army, in search of advent- 
ures, and they were not particularly delighted at the turn affairs 
had taken. 

The captain of the steamer had been captured before, and took 
his present mishap as a matter of course ; but one of his passengers 
could not be made to comprehend how one of her Majesty's mer- 
chant vessels could be taken possession of in a friendly port while 
peaceable passengers were eating their supper. 

"Look here, sir," said he to the boarding officer, ** aren't you 
joking ? You certainly wouldn't dare to interfere with one of her 
18 



274: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

Majesty's vessels ; the Admiralty would quick send a fleet over here 
and dampen you fellows. This is all a joke, I know it is, and I 
want to go on shore at once." 

" You have very singular ideas of what constitutes a joke," said 
the boarding officer. " I don't think you could understand one un- 
less it was fired at yon out of a thirty-two pounder. " 

"But," said the Englishman, "how can you fire a joke out of 
a thirty-two pounder ? " 

This remark "brought down the house," and the captain of the 
blockade-runner suggested that they had better eat supper first and 
discuss the joke afterward. 

This affair turned out to be a very lucrative night's work, as the 
Stag and Charlotte were filled with all kinds of valuable goods, in- 
cluding many commissions for "ladies of the court." 

In the cabin of one vessel was a pile of bandboxes, in which 
were charming little bonnets marked with the owners' names. It 
would have given me much pleasure to have forwarded them to 
their destination, but the laws forbade our giving aid and comfort 
to the enemy, so all the French bonnets, cloaks, shoes, and other 
feminine bric-a-hrac had to go to New York for condemnation by 
the Admiralty Court, and were sold at public auction. 

These bonnets, laces, and other vanities rather clashed with the 
idea I had formed of the Southern ladies, as I had heard that all 
they owned went to the hospitals, and that they never spent a cent 
on their personal adornment ; but human nature is the same the 
world over, and the ladies will indulge in their little vanities in 
spite of war and desolation. 

It looked queer to me to see boxes labeled " His Excellency, 
Jefferson Davis, President of the * Confederate States of America.' " 
The packages so labeled contained Bass ale or Cognac brandy, 
which cost " His Excellency " less than we Yankees had to pay for 
it. Think of the President drinking imported liquors while his 
soldiers were living on pop-corn and water ! 

I had supposed that blockade-runners were mainly filled with 
arms, ammunition, and clothing for the troops ; but the Char- 
lotte, Stag, and Blenheim, captured by us at the mouth of the 
Cape Fear Eiver, were not entirely laden with army supplies. The 
main cargo of one vessel was composed of articles for ladies' use, 
and all three were plentifully stocked with liquors and table luxu- 
ries. 

There were many dreadful sights at Fort Fisher, and much hard 



PROMPT ACTION OF THE ORDNANCE BUREAU. 275 

work to engross our time and thoughts, yet there were ridiculous 
incidents as well. 

After the surrender of the fort all the smaller vessels of the 
fleet had to cross the bar of Cape Fear River, where at most there 
was but eleven feet of water. In the attempt they got fast in the 
mud, some twenty of them mixed up in apparently inextricable 
confusion, but in a few hours they were all across "the rip" and 
at anchor inside Cape Fear River. 

Early next morning (February 18, 1865) an attack was made 
on Fort Anderson, a well-built star fort armed with nineteen heavy 
guns and situated on the right bank of the river. Like their other 
works, Fort Anderson was not well protected in the rear. The 
Confederates, it would seem, did not calculate their forts would be 
taken, thinking them proof against an enemy's fire and not antici- 
pating that troops would ever be landed in their rear. If such 
were their calculations, the enemy, were grievously disappointed. 

In the attack on Fort Fisher we had burst nearly all the Parrott 
guns in the fleet ; so I had telegraphed to Captain Wise, chief of 
the Ordnance Bureau, to send me twenty eleven-inch smooth- 
bores, shot and shell, triangles for hoisting, etc., and in four days 
the articles arrived in a fast steamer from New York, which shows 
how promptly the Ordnance Bureau did business during the war. 
It was four days then before we could commence operations on 
Fort Anderson. 

The night before we attacked that place I had a mocTc monitor 
constructed very much like the one which did such good service 
on the Mississippi. I knew that the enemy had the channel 
planted with torpedoes, and piles were driven in such a manner that 
vessels would have to pass right over where the torpedoes were 
sunk. At about 11 p. m. I had the monitor towed up, and let go 
within two hundred yards of the enemy's works. 

The monitor floated with the flood-tide to within a short dis- 
tance of the batteries, when the enemy opened fire with heavy guns 
and musketry, and exploded some of the torpedoes, all of which 
did the monster no harm, and she finally floated off toward Wil- 
mington, not troubling herself to keep in the channel, but cross- 
ing flats where there were only a few inches of water ! 

All the next afternoon the monitor Montauk lay close in to the 
fort, keeping up a constant fire, while we mounted our eleven- 
inch guns ; and this was the monitor that the enemy thought had 
passed by in the previous night. 



276 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

Just before dark that evening a veracious ''contraband" pad- 
dled alongside the Malvern in a canoe and informed me that the 
enemy had a powerful ram and torpedo-vessel ready to come down 
upon us after dark that night. 

I was surprised at not having heard of this ram before, but I 
prepared to receive her. Every vessel was to keep two boats ready, 
the boats' crews armed for boarding, and each boat was provided 
-with a heavy net on a pole, with which to foul the torpedo- vessel's 
propeller. 

The idea was for the boats to get alongside, cripple the enemy's 
propeller, and then carry the vessel by boarding. Two picket-boats 
were kept about six hundred yards ahead of the leading vessel, and 
a strict watch was kept on board the gun-boats ; but the picket- 
boats got so far ahead that they missed what they were watching 
for. 

The Malvern lay in the middle of the line. I had no idea that 
any torpedo-boat would trouble us, and was just going to bed when 
shouts attracted my attention, and I heard orders for the boats to 
shove off from several vessels. Then came pistol-shots and hurrahs 
enough to account for half a dozen torpedo-boats. 

''Thank fortune!" I said to Captain Breese, "I have been 
looking out for rams and torpedo-boats for the last three years, and 
have never yet seen one ; but I think we'll get this fellow sure if 
they only carry out my orders." 

By this time the river was alive with boats dashing by in des- 
perate efforts to reach the scene of conflict, and, as they came up 
with the enemy, they joined in with loud cheers. "There he 
goes ! " I heard them shout. " Head him off ! " " Here he comes ! " 
" Give him a volley ! " This shouting and firing continued for sev- 
eral minutes, and I wondered why they did not board the enemy, 
saying to the captain, " That thing will get a crack at some of the 
vessels above us, and if they sink one it will block the game on us, 
for there is only room for one vessel to go along at a time. The 
channel has but eleven feet of water, and is only sixty feet wide. 
Why don't they board, as I ordered them to do ? " 

Then the vessels above commenced firing howitzers and mus- 
ketry. "That is sheer folly," I said. " They will never capture 
the thing in that way. That vessel is probably a turtle-back, with 
an inch thickness of iron. He'll sink one of those vessels as sure 
as a gun. Jump into the boat, pull up there, and tell them to 
board the thing, whatever it is, at all hazards." 



"AN IRISH TORPEDO-BOAT." 277 

The captain shoved off, and in five minutes the strange vessel 
seemed to be coming down on us. "Look out !" I heard them 
shout, "Give it to him !" "Now's your chance !" Then a volley 
of musketry and three cheers. 

"Here he comes !" shouted the lookout in the forecastle, "and 
all the boats after him," and, sure enough, the boats were all pull- 
ing after the thing and making a great clatter as they laid to their 
oars. 

All the vessels had lanterns over the side, and one vessel incau- 
tiously burned a " Coston signal," which for a moment made every- 
thing as light as day. 

To my great relief a shout arose, " We've got him ! Tie on to 
him ! Double-bank him with boats ! " and such shouting and 
cheering as only sailors can accomplish. 

The struggle was ended, the enemy was ours. I heard an 
officer give the order to " take the enemy in tow and stop their 
noise." 

I thought to myself, "I must issue an order to-morrow rebuk- 
ing the officers and men for making so much noise," and when 
Captain Breese returned alongside I tried to appear indifferent. 

"Well, sir, we got him," said the captain. 

" And a time they had of it. Why didn't those fellows do as I 
told them — jam his screw with the nets ? " I inquired. 

"He hadn't any screw, sir," replied the caj)tain. 

*' Then what had he ? " I inquired. 

The captain laughed. "It was something worse than a ram ; 
it was the biggest hull I ever saw. He was swimming across the 
channel when he was first espied. I don't wonder they took him 
for a torpedo-boat, he got through the water at such a rate." 

" A bull ! " I exclaimed. " And so I am not to see a ram after 
all. Tell them to keep a good lookout, notwithstanding the cap- 
ture of the bull," and I laughed heartily at this absurd episode — 
so much more ridiculous in reality than even in the narration. 

That evening General Schofield, who had assumed command of 
the army after the capture of Fort Fisher, had landed some troops 
to take Fort Anderson in the rear, and at eight next morning (Feb- 
ruary 18th) I attacked Fort Anderson with all the gun-boats, which, 
with their newly mounted eleven-inch guns, soon silenced the ene- 
my's guns, and the Confederates abandoned the work and fled, to 
avoid capture by our troops coming up in their rear. 

Off we went again on our way up river till at a point where the 



278 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

water was shoal. Fort Strong, on the left bank, opened on us and 
succeeded in boring some good holes in our vessels ; but, with the 
aid of our eleyen-inch guns, in twenty minutes we had all the firing 
to ourselves, the enemy evacuating the fort, on which we hoisted 
our flag. An hour later the army marched into Wilmington, and 
we were masters of the situation. 

I reached Wilmington on the afternoon of February 22, 1865, 
soon after the army had entered the city. The river-bank was 
covered with negroes, and, as soon as the vessels arrived, a salute 
was fired in honor of the day, causing the darkies to suddenly scat- 
ter in all directions, under the impression that we were bombard- 
ing the town. 

While we were at Fort Strong a contraband informed us that 
the enemy were going to let a hundred torpedoes drift down upon 
us at night and blow us all to pieces ! I therefore ordered a double 
line of fishing-nets spread across the river, so as to intercept any 
visitors of this sort. It was a bright moonlight night, and, al- 
though we had little faith in the negro's story, we kept a good 
lookout all the same. 

At about eight o'clock I saw a barrel drifting down the river, 
and, hailing the Shawmut, directed them to send a boat and see 
what it was. Acting Ensign Trufant was in command of the boat, 
and, pulling close to the barrel, fired his pistol into it, whereupon 
it exploded, dangerously wounding the officer and killing two and 
wounding several of the crew. 

The barrel was a floating torpedo which in some unaccountable 
manner had got past the nets, and the contraband's information 
was correct. 

A short time afterward a torpedo caught in the Osceola's wheel 
and knocked the wheel-house to pieces, knocked down some of her 
bulkheads, and disturbed things generally. 

The torpedo-nets intercepted many of the same kind of devices, 
which were sunk next morning by firing musketry at them from a 
safe distance. But for the information given by the contraband 
which led to the precaution of setting the nets, I might have lost 
several of my vessels that night. 

The night after we arrived at Wilmington we had another alarm. 
The vessel highest up the river opened fire on something, the next 
one took it up, and so did all the others until it came to my ves- 
sel, when I discovered through my night-glass a large steam launch 
floating down stream. She was towed alongside, and it proved to 



AFFECTIONATE GREETING BY MR. STANTON. 279 

be the same launch in which I had sent Gushing to blow up the 
Albemarle a few weeks previous. 

After the destruction of the Albemarle the torpedo-vessel fell 
into the hands of the enemy, and was sent to Cape Fear River to 
operate against our vessels ; but the Confederates were not lucky 
with torpedo-boats, so she again fell into our hands. 

The events occurring on the Cape Fear River and about Fort 
Fisher and Wilmington would make an interesting book, but I can 
spare but little space for them here. I will, however, mention one 
incident which occurred the day after the capture of Fort Fisher. 

I was in a steam launch on the river, directing in person how to 
get over the bar, when I saw a large steamer anchor near the flag- 
ship, while the latter fired a salute of fifteen guns, which meant 
that some high functionary had come into port. I soon learned 
that Mr. Stanton, the Secretary of War, had arrived. He had 
been to Savannah to see General Sherman, and stopped in at Fort 
Fisher, not knowing it had fallen. 

I immediately went on board to see Mr. Stanton, whom I found 
seated at the head of the dinner-table with a napkin under his chin. 
He arose and put his arms around my neck and kissed me — im- 
agine such a thing of Mr. Stanton ! "I love you," he said, "the 
President loves you, the people love you, for you have — " but I re- 
frain from stating the reason assigned by Mr. Stanton for the deep 
affection with which I was universally regarded ; but it was not for 
my part in the capture of Fort Fisher. 

" What can I do for you ? " said Mr. Stanton. " Ask anything, 
and you shall have it if it's in my power to give it." 

" Thank you," I said, *' I want nothing for myself, but you 
can do me a great favor by promoting General Terry on the spot. 
He has done his duty like a good soldier, and his reward should not 
be postponed." 

Mr. Stanton ordered General Terry to be sent for immediately, 
and, while we were awaiting his arrival, Mr. Stanton opened his 
heart to me on a subject which, as it was strictly confidential, I 
forbear to repeat. 

When General Terry came on board, the Secretary of War re- 
ceived him with great warmth, and, after some conversation, retired 
with his private secretary into the after-cabin, where he remained 
for about twenty minutes. 

General Terry had been up all the preceding night, and was 
worn out with fatigue ; and his brother, who accompanied him on 



280 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

board, went to sleep with bis head leaning against the cabin-door, 
where he slept and snored to the amusement of the company. 

When the secretary reappeared he presented the general with 
an official document containing an appointment of Major-General 
of Volunteers, and then shook the general's brother by the shoulder. 
** Wake up, young man," he said ; " here's something for you." 

Young Terry opened his eyes and stammered an apology for 
falling asleep in the presence of such high functionaries, but, when 
he looked at the paper given him by Mr. Stanton, he rubbed his 
eyes as if he thought himself dreaming. " By Jove," he said, "I 
went to sleep a captain and woke up a major." I think General 
Terry and his brother were two as contented men as I had seen for 
some time. 

Mr. Stanton was a much-abused man, yet when he did anything 
to reward an officer he did it gracefully and liberally — unlike the 
head of the Navy Department, who, so far from thanking me for 
my efforts at Fort Fisher, wrote me a rude letter because I had 
given the five oldest officers of the squadron commendatory letters 
when we parted after the capture of the fort. 

General Terry took no horses with him to Fort Fisher. He was 
lame at the time, and could not sit on a horse. I accordingly sent 
an officer to Smithville to procure me a horse and buggy — the best 
he could find. The officer departed at once in a double-banked 
boat, and, on arriving at the little town, found a doctor's horse 
and gig standing in front of that gentleman's house. The officer 
jumped into the buggy and drove off — not a very polite thing to 
do, but it was a case of military necessity — and, getting horse and 
buggy into the boat, brought them both down to me. There 
chanced to be nobody around at the time, as the town was nearly 
deserted, so no one witnessed the abstraction of the doctor's equi- 
page ; but when the unfortunate physician came out of the house 
he couldn't understand what had become of his horse and buggy. 
He could not suppose that the reliable animal had run away, and 
no one around there would have stolen him, so for some time the 
doctor was in a high state of excitement. 

General Terry was much pleased with the horse, and could have 
been seen early and late traveling around in the doctor's gig, attend- 
ing to military matters, for Terry had no liking for fuss and feath- 
ers, and cared little for outward appearances so long as he was 
comfortable. 

. When we were done with the horse and buggy they were sent 



THE PRESIDENT VISITS CITY POINT. 281 

back one morning before daylight, and when the owner arose from 
his slumbers he found the faithful steed standing patiently at the 
door with a good supply of oats in the vehicle. 



CHAPTER XXIII. 

THE PEESIDENT VISITS CITY POINT — BECOMES A GUEST ON" THE 
MALVEKN — ANXIETY TO HAVE THE AEMY MOVE ON" THE ENE- 
MY'S WORKS — TWO MIRACLES — EVACUATION OF PETERSBURG — 
THREE LITTLE KITTENS — PRESIDENT REFUSES TO SEE VICE- 
PRESIDENT JOHNSON AND PRESTON KING — HOW MUCH WILL 
YOU TAKE FOR THAT TRICK ? — VISIT TO PETERSBURG— THREE 
CHEERS FOR UNCLE ABE — CAN'T WE MAKE A NOISE ? — FOUR 
CONFEDERATE IRONCLADS BLOWN UP — THE PRESIDENT VISITS 
RICHMOND — AN OVATION WORTHY OF AN EMPEROR — A NEGRO 
PATRIARCH — ENTRANCE INTO RICHMOND — A BOUQUET OF FLOW- 
ERS FROM A PRETTY GIRL— PRESIDENT LINCOLN IN PRESI- 
DENT DAVIS'S MANSION — RETURN ON BOARD THE MALVERN — 
A VISIT FROM THE LATE JUSTICE CAMPBELL — A VISIT FROM 
DUFF GREEN — COMPLICATIONS — RETURN TO CITY POINT — A 
GENERAL WHO WENT OFF IN A FIZZLE. 

In the latter part of March, 18G5, the President came down to 
City Point, with some members of his family, in a large steamer 
called the River Queen. He came, in the first place, for rest ; he 
looked much worn out with his responsibilities since I had last seen 
him, and needed the repose he sought. He was also very much in- 
terested that the army should move upon the enemy, and, though 
I am quite sure that he had the most unbounded confidence in 
General Grant and his judgment, yet I am of opinion that he con- 
sidered himself a good judge of the time when operations should 
commence. 

The Army of the James was to have moved some days sooner 
than it did, but it came on to rain, and with such effect upon the 
ground that it was impossible for the troops to move at all. 

Infantry, of course, can always move, but it would have been 
an impossibility to move baggage and artillery. 

At this moment it was desirable that no mistakes should be 



282 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

made, and that the army should not move a day sooner than was 
necessary. Every day was improving our condition and making 
that of the Confederacy worse. All the ports along the coast had 
been captured ; blockade-running was at an end, and the Con- 
federates could no longer dejoend upon the sea for supplies. What 
they did obtain at that time was from their own resources, and 
these were very small indeed. How they ever managed to main- 
tain their armies was a mystery to me, and must have astonished 
the military men of our side who had splendid commissariats to 
draw from. 

General Grant most likely knew to a day when the enemy's 
provisions would give out, and when they would ask to surrender ; 
he was preparing to move when President Lincoln came down. 

The President was evidently nervous ; the enormous expense of 
the war seemed to weigh upon him like an incubus ; he could not 
keep away from General Grant's tent, and was constantly inquiring 
when he was going to move ; though, if he had looked at the 
wagons, stuck fast in the thick red mud of the surrounding 
country, he would have known why no army could operate. 

I attached myself to the President at his own request, and did 
all I could to interest him by taking him up and down the river in 
my barge, or driving about the country in General Ingals's buggy 
with two fine horses. I saw that, without being aware of it, he 
was pushing General Grant to move more than circumstances justi- 
fied, and I did all I could to withdraw his attention from the sub- 
ject. 

Mr. Lincoln had a wonderful faculty for understanding the 
topography of a country, and he was quite familiar with the one in 
which the army was about to operate ; he carried a small chart in 
his pocket, on which were marked all the rivers and hills about 
Richmond, with the city itself, and the different points where 
General Lee had his forces posted, the lines of defense, and, in 
fact, all the information that a general of an army wanted. 

During our rides — which were always within the lines — he 
would stop and spread out his chart on his knees and point out to 
me what he would do if he were the general commanding, taking 
good care, at the same time, never to interfere in any way with 
General Grant, whom, I rather think, he considered the better i 

strategist of the two. - 

I had often heard of the wonderful power of the President in 
telling anecdotes, but no one could form an adequate idea of his 



CHARACTERISTICS OF PRESIDENT LINCOLN. 283 

ability in this line unless he had been alone with him for ten days 
as I was. He had an illustration for everything, and if anything 
particular attracted his attention, he would say, "That reminds 
me of something that occurred when I was a lawyer in Illinois," or, 
"when I was a boatman on the Mississippi." He was not at all 
ashamed of any business he had ever been engaged in, because it 
was honest business, and he made an honest living by it ; and he 
told me many stories of his earlier life, which were as creditable to 
him as anything he was engaged in while occupying a higher 
sphere. 

Mr. Lincoln seemed to me to be familiar with the name, char- 
acter, and reputation of every officer of rank in the army and navy, 
and appeared to understand them better than some whose business 
it was to do so ; he had many a good story to tell of nearly all, and 
if he could have lived to write the anecdotes of the war, I am sure 
he would have furnished the most readable book of the century. 

To me he was one of the most interesting men I ever met ; he 
had an originality about him which was peculiarly his own, and 
one felt, when with him, as if he could confide his dearest secret to 
him with absolute security against its betrayal. There, it might be 
said, was " God's noblest work — an honest man," and such he was, 
all through. I have not a particle of the bump of veneration on 
my head, but I saw more to admire in this man, more to reverence, 
than I had believed possible ; he had a load to bear that few men 
could carry, yet he traveled on with it, foot-sore and weary, but 
without complaint ; rather, on the contrary, cheering those who 
would faint on the roadside. He was not a demonstrative man, so 
no one will ever know, amid all the trials he underwent, how much 
he had to contend with, and how often he was called upon to sacri- 
fice his own opinions to those of others, who, he felt, did not know 
as much about matters at issue as he did himself. When he did 
surrender, it was always with a pleasant manner, winding up with 
a characteristic story. 

In the strife between the North and the South there was no 
bitterness in Mr. Lincoln's composition ; he seemed to think only 
that he had an unpleasant duty to perform, and endeavored to per- 
form it as smoothly as possible. He would, without doubt, have 
yielded a good deal to the South, only that he kept his duty con- 
stantly before his eyes, and that was the compass by which he 
steered at all times. The results of a battle pained him as much as 
if he was receiving the wounds himself, for I have often heard him 



284 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

express himself in pained accents while talking over some of the 
scenes of the war ; he was not the man to assume a character for 
feelings he did not possess ; he was as guileless in some respects as 
a child. How could one avoid liking such a man ? 

The vessel he came up in — the Eiver Queen — went off to Nor- 
folk a day or two after his arrival at City Point, and I invited him, 
or rather he invited himself, to stay with me on board the flag-ship 
Malvern, which was a small vessel with poor accommodations, and 
not at all fitted to receive high personages. She was a captured 
blockade-runner, and had been given to me as a flag-ship. I re- 
tained her because she was small and drew but little water, and I 
could run about in her night and day, enter shoal harbors and 
inlets, and altogether she suited me. 

I had only one large state-room in' the cabin, one small after 
cabin that would hold a sofa and four chairs, and a small forward 
cabin that would dine ten. I could not *' sling a cat around by 
the tail," but then I did not want to do that, so the arrangements 
were to my taste. It was in this unpretentious place that I in- 
vited the President to accept my hospitality, and he accepted it 
with as little formality as if it was his own home he was going into. 
What pleased him was that he got away from the outer world ; no 
one could get at him but those whom he desired to see ; no one 
could intrude upon his privacy, and he slept with every guard 
about him — so far as his personal safety was concerned — that he 
could desire. 

What he liked best of all was that no one could ask him for an 
office. 

I offered the President my bed, but he positively declined it, 
and elected to sleep in a small state-room outside of the cabin, 
occupied by my secretary. It was the smallest kind of a room, six 
feet long by four and a half feet wide — a small room for the Presi- 
dent of the United States to be domesticated in, but Mr. Lincoln 
was pleased with it. He told me, at parting, that the few days he 
had spent on board the Malvern were among the pleasantest in his 
life. 

When the President retired for his first night on board, he put 
his shoes and socks outside the state-room door. I am sorry to say 
the President's socks had holes in them ; but they were washed and 
darned, his boots cleaned, and the whole placed at his door. 

When he came to breakfast he remarked : 

*'A miracle happened to me last night. When I went to bed I 



PRESIDENT LINCOLN ON BOARD THE MALVERN. 285 

had two large holes in my socks, and this morning there are no 
holes in them. That never happened to me before ; it must be a 
miracle ! " 

" How did you sleep ? " I inquired. 

''I slept well," he answered, ''but you can't put a long blade 
into a short scabbard. I was too long for that berth." Then I 
remembered he was over six feet four inches, while the berth was 
only six feet. 

That day, while we were out of the ship, all the carpenters were 
put to work ; the state-room was taken down and increased in size 
to eight feet by six and a half feet. The mattress was widened to 
suit a berth of four feet width, and the entire state-room remod- 
eled. 

Nothing was said to the President about the change in his quar- 
ters when he went to bed, but next morning he came out smiling, 
and said: "A greater miracle than ever happened last night; I 
shrank six inches in length and about a foot sideways. I got 
somebody else's big pillow, and slept in a better bed than I did on 
the Eiver Queen, though not half as lively." He enjoyed it 
hugely, but I do think if I had given him two fence-rails to sleep 
on he would not have found fault. That was Abraham Lincoln in 
all things relating to his own comfort. He would never permit 
people to put themselves out for him under any circumstances. 

That day I handed him a telegram from Mr. Seward, reading, 
*' Shall I come down and join you ?" 

"No," he said, "I don't want him. Telegraph him that the 
berths are too small, and there's not room for another passenger." 

" But," I said, " I can provide for him if you desire his presence." 

" Tell him, then, I don't want him ; he'd talk to me all day 
about Vattel and Puffendorf. The war will be over in a week, and 
I don't want to hear any more of that." So Mr. Seward did not 
come. Mr. Lincoln was determined that none of his Cabinet 
should come down to City Point, where he intended to propose the 
terms of surrender himself. He had made up his mind that this 
fraternal strife should cease in one way or another. I don't know 
what his conversations with General Grant were, but, from the 
tenor of his conversations with me, I know that he was determined 
the Confederacy should have the most liberal terms. " Get them 
to plowing once," he said, "and gathering in their own little crops, 
eating pop-corn at their own firesides, and you can't get them to 
shoulder a musket again for half a century. " 



286 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

He did not want any of his Cabinet down there to contest the 
views he had formed in regard to this matter, nor to try to turn 
him from his plans. 

I think General Grant started his army off four days sooner 
than he would have done had not the President been so anxious to 
bring the war to a conclusion, for that was what moving meant. 
Any one who knew anything about the war knew that when our 
army approached Petersburg or Richmond, at that time, it meant 
the surrender or annihilation of the Southern army. They had 
nothing left to fight on, and though they might have made a des- 
perate defense, yet the men who led them to battle would have 
been simply committing murder. 

When our army did get some twenty miles away from City 
Point the artillery stuck fast in the thick red soil, and General 
Meade told me afterward that it sometimes took eight horses to 
haul a field-piece clear of the mud. It would have been a bad thing 
to be caught in that way. 

As the army advanced, a telegraph-wire was laid out and a tele- 
graph-ofiice established under the direction of Colonel Bowers, who 
collected all the dispatches. The President used to sit there nearly 
all day receiving telegrams, and I sat therewith him. "Here," 
he said once, taking out his little chart, "they are at this point, 
and Sheridan is just starting of£ up this road. That will bring 
about a crisis." 

"Now let us go to dinner ; I'd like to peck a little." 

Then we came back and received the news of the evacuation of 
Petersburg. "We will go there to-morrow," he said. 

There were three little kittens running about the hut in which 
the telegraph-office was situated. Mr. Lincoln picked them all up 
and put them on his little chart on the table. This was a step 
from the sublime, it is true, but it showed the feelings of the man 
at a moment when the fate of a nation was hanging in the scales. 
He could find time to look at God's creatures and be solicitous for 
their comfort. 

"There," he said, "you poor, little, miserable creatures, what 
brought you into this camp of warriors ? Where is your mother ? " 

"The mother is dead," said the colonel. 

"Then she can't grieve for them as many a poor mother is 
grieving for the sons who have fallen in battle, and who will still 
grieve if this surrender does not take place without bloodshed. Ah, 
kitties, thank God you are cats, and can't understand this terrible 



THE PRESIDENT DECLINES TO RECEIVE SOME VISITORS. 287 

strife that is going on. There, now, go, my little friends," he con- 
tinued, wiping the dirt from their eyes with his handkerchief; 
"that is all I can do for you. Colonel, get them some milk, and 
don't let them starve ; there is too much starvation going on in this 
land anyhow ; mitigate it when we can," 

Just then a midshipman came up to the door of the hut with a 
message for me from Commodore Radford. He informed me that 
Vice-President Johnson and Preston King were on board the Mal- 
vern, and wished to pay their respects to the President. 

I never saw such a change in any one in my life as took place 
in Mr. Lincoln at this announcement. He jumped up from the 
chair where he had been playing with the kittens and rushed to 
the door where the young officer was delivering his message. The 
President was greatly excited, and the habitual benevolent expres- 
sion had left his face; he was almost frantic. "Don't let those 
men come into my presence," he said. "I won't see either of 
them ; send them away. They have no business here, any way ; 
no right to come down here without my permission. I won't see 
them now, and never want to lay eyes on them. I don't care what 
you do with them, nor where you send them, but don't let them 
come near me ! " and he sat down in his chair looking like a man 
it would be dangerous for any one to anger. 

" Certainly, Mr. President," I said, " your wishes shall be at- 
tended to. I will see that you never meet either of these gentle- 
men." 

I told the midshipman to go back to Commodore Eadford and 
tell him " the President could receive no one to-day nor to-mor- 
row " ; to go on board my ship and get all the champagne and 
cigars and other liquors, and entertain the two gentlemen on board 
the Phlox (Radford's dispatch-boat), and take them where he 
pleased, but under no circumstances to let them come in the Presi- 
dent's way. Mr. Lincoln heard all the message, and when I went 
into the hut again he was sitting there as composed as if nothing 
had occurred to disturb his equanimity, while the usual benevolent 
expression shone on his face as before. 

He never referred to those two gentlemen again, and I never 
knew, nor could I imagine, why he was disturbed at the announce- 
ment of their names. 

I have my own impressions on the subject, but don't care to put 
them on paper. 

Commodore Eadford did as I requested ; took them off some- 



288 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

where and entertained them. He made a strong friend of Mr. 
Johnson, who looked after his interests while he was in the White 
House, and I, without intending it, made a strong enemy, with 
whom, however, I made it a rule never to come in contact. 

The day after this occurrence Mr. Lincoln received a message 
from General Grant informing him that a railway-car would be 
ready for him at City Point, that he could come out on the rail- 
road which ran within a few miles of Petersburg, and that he would 
find horses at the nearest point to take him to the city. 

In consequence, we prepared to start at the appointed time. 
The President got into the car of which I was the only other occu- 
pant, seated himself, and, as he never lost any time, proceeded to 
read his newspapers. 

There was no assembling of crowds in those days to witness the 
going or coming of a President ; people had too much to do. Time 
was money, and those found loitering had their pay docked ; so we 
passed along unnoticed. 

I wore a naval cap which had been copied from those worn by 
railroad conductors, and a blue flannel short sack with four small 
nayy-buttons on it. I might easily have been mistaken for a con- 
ductor. 

I was standing on the front of the car, having locked the rear 
door to prevent any one from intruding upon the President. We 
expected the locomotive every minute. Three men came up to the 
car ; they were nicely enough dressed — had even white cravats, 
which would seem to indicate that they were either divines or theo- 
logical students, but I could tell at a glance that they were neither 
of these ; they had not a clerical look aside from their neck- wear, 
and, to save my life, I could not have placed them. They were 
impudent enough to be anything. 

One of them spoke. ''Conductor," he said to me, "is that the 
President ? " 

"Yes," I answered, "it is." 

" We want to see him," said the other. 

" Can't do it," I replied. 

" Who will prevent us ? " said the first. 

" I will ; tlie President won't see any one." 

" He will see us," was the retort, " and see him we must." 

"It can not be done," I said ; "the President can not be in- 
truded upon." 

"We will see for ourselves," said the stranger. "You don't 



INTRUDERS WARDED OFF. 289 

know. Have you any orders to prevent persons from approaching 
the President ? " 

*'No," I said, "none. I do it on my own responsibility." 

" Then, in that case, you have taken a responsibility quite un- 
authorized, and we will call." 

With that two of them came up on the platform. I merely 
closed the car-door, and put my hand on the door-knob. 

"Will you let us pass ?" said one of the white neck-ties. 

*' You can pass on over the platform," I said, "but nowhere 
else ; you can't pass through this door." 

"Who will stop us ? " queried the white ties. 

" I will, if possible," I answered. 

At that they all laughed ; they were well-m.ade fellows, and, be- 
ing quite conscious they could master me, they became very inso- 
lent. 

All this time the President was apparently reading his news- 
paper, but in reality looking over the top of it, very much amused 
at the controversy going on between me and the white ties. He 
said afterward that he would have come to my assistance and 
ordered them away, only he thought I could manage to get rid of 
them. 

The two men on the platform, having expended all their elo- 
quence on me, and finding me decidedly opposed to their entry, 
proceeded to extremities. One put his hand on mine to remove it 
from the knob, and the other took me by the shoulder. 

Quick as thought both the white ties were sprawling in the 
mud — one at each side of the car — and they were invited up to try 
it again, with the information that the next time they ventured 
upoa the car they would get a pistol-ball through them. 

I had no pistol ; I only told them so for effect. 

They were very angry at their unceremonious removal, but did 
not care to attack the citadel again. The engine had now arrived 
and hitched on, and off we went on our way. But what a careless 
thing it was to be going about with the President without a guard 
to protect him ! I never thought of any danger to him at the time. 
Our people were not given to assassination, and if any one had told 
me that the President stood in danger of his life, I would have 
laughed at him. 

There were no guards to be obtained at City Point ; every sol- 
dier had gone with the army. I might have brought some marines, 
but, confident in my own ability to keep off loafers, I neglected 
19 



290 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

to take any cautionary measures, and I only wonder that the catas- 
trophe which finally took place did not occur while the President 
was at City Point — there were so many opportunities. 

Mr. Lincoln laughed heartily when he saw the two white ties 
lying in the mud, and wanted to know " how much I would sell 
that trick for. I intend," he continued, "never to travel again 
unless you go along." 

We arrived at Petersburg Landing, and found Lieutenant 
Robert Lincoln — the President's son — there with horses for the 
President and his son "Tad," but none forme. The escort was 
not a very large one, consisting only of the lieutenant, a sergeant, 
and three or four troopers ; it was all in keeping with the Presi- 
dent's retinue since he first started on this expedition, but it never 
seemed to strike him as wanting in any way. 

He was much amused all the time, and particularly so when I 
got one of the soldiers to dismount and let me have his raw-boned 
white horse, a hard trotter, alid a terrible stumbler. How the 
Government became possessed of such an animal the Lord only 
knows. 

I won't pretend to describe my adventures on that horse, and 
the number of times he ran away with me — the only way by which 
I could keep up with the President, who was splendidly mounted 
— but we finally reached Petersburg in safety, and were received at 
headquarters. 

I had no sooner arrived than I inquired of Lieutenant Dunn, 
one of Grant's staff, if I could buy the horse upon which I had rid- 
den. He said he thought I could, and would see the quartermaster 
about it ; but the President, who heard our conversation, put in a 
protest. 

" Why in the name of all that's good do you want that horse. 
Admiral ?" exclaimed the President. "Just look at him first ; his 
head is as big as a flour-barrel ! " 

"That's the case with all horses' heads," I said. 

" Well, look at his knees ; they're sprung. He's fourteen years 
old if he's a day ; his hoofs will cover half an acre. He's spavined, 
and only has one eye. What do you want with him ? You sailors 
don't know anything about a horse. Get some of these soldier 
fellows to pick you out a beast and you will get a good one. Don't 
you let him buy that horse, Mr. Dunn ; get him a good one." 

"But I want it for a particular purpose," I said ; "I want to 
buy it and shoot it, so that no one else will ever ride it again." 



"THREE CHEERS FOR UNCLE ABE." 291 

That pleased the President mightily ; he said it was the best 
reason he had ever heard for buying a horse. 

We spent a most agreeable day at Petersburg. The streets were 
alive with negroes, who were crazy to see their savior, as they 
called the President ; and it was found necessary at last to eject 
them from the doorways vi et armis. 

The tobacco-stores were all open, and every one seemed to be 
helping himself to the delicious weed. It was mostly put up in 
small bales of three pounds each. Some one presented me with 
four packages, and I tied them upon the saddle of my horse, which 
I had determined to ride back again by way of enjoying a better 
horse in case I should ever come across one. 

The President took a fancy to have four little bales also ; they 
were a genuine curiosity to him, and Tad wanted four bales be- 
cause his father had them. 

Thus accoutred, we started out on the return journey, my horse 
cutting all kinds of capers without being able to throw me. The 
President paid me a high compliment. " Admiral," he said, " you 
mistook your profession ; you ought to have been a circus-rider. I 
don't think there's another man in the United States, besides his 
owner, who could ride that horse half a mile." 

Several regiments passed us en route, and they all seemed to 
recognize the President at once. "Three cheers for Uncle Abe !" 
passed along among them, and the cheers were given with a vim 
which showed the estimation in which he was held by the soldiers 
— a class of men who had in their ranks as much intelligence as any 
in the country ; more real, good common sense than many others, 
and who understood the situation of affairs as well, if not better, 
than those who pretended to more wisdom. One good-natured 
fellow sang out, "We'll get 'em, Abe, where the 'boy had the 
hen ' ; you go home, and sleep sound to-night ; we boys will put 
you through ! " It was not a very courtier-like speech, certainly ; 
it was homely and honest ; and so they cheered us all along the 
road. 

In the mean time Grant continued his approaches on toward 
Eichmond until he reached the Appomattox apple-tree where 
General Lee surrendered, with all the troops and appurtenances 
under his immediate command. 

While these movements were taking place the President, my- 
self, and Tad were making excursions up and down the James 
River in my barge. We would make fast to a tug with a long line, 



292 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

and let her tow us. If this is not the luxury of locomotion, I don't 
know what is, and it certainly seemed very grateful to the President 
then. lie said he should always look upon this time as the real 
holiday of his administration. He seemed almost to forget that he 
had any public cares. He knew that the war was practically over, 
and he never thought of the future but as a vision of bright pros- 
perity, wherein, with the black spot scratched from our escutcheon, 
we would move on as a liberty-loving people, and attain the high- 
est position among the nations of the earth. 

Poor man ! he little thought then how short was the time in 
which he would be allowed to contemplate the new state of affairs, 
and how many years would elapse before the millennium he dreamed 
of could be established. Perhaps it was a wise dispensation of 
Providence which took him from after-scenes so little in accord- 
ance with his feelings, wherein he would not have been permitted 
to indulge in the whole-souled plans he had formed for the recon- 
struction of the Eepublic. 

About this time we heard of the arrival of Sherman at Newbern 
after his march to the sea, and he was now confronting General Joe 
Johnston in a position whence the latter would have to fight his 
way or surrender. This was good news to the President. "If 
proper terms are offered," he said to me, " and with wise manage- 
ment, these two armies will lay down their arms in a week, and 
then all the Confederate armies will follow their example. It will 
be like those rows of bricks boys sometimes put up : knock down 
the first one, and the rest all follow. The Confederates are tired of 
it, and so are we." 

The night before Eichmond was evacuated by the Confederate 
forces we were sitting on the Malvern's upper deck, enjoying the 
evening air. The President, who had been some time quiet, turned 
to me and said, *' Can't the navy do something at this particular 
moment to make history ? " 

" Not much," I replied ; " the navy is doing its best just now 
holding in utter uselessness the rebel navy, consisting of four heavy 
ironclads. If those should get down to City Point they would 
commit great havoc — as they came near doing while I was away at 
Fort Fisher. In consequence, we filled up the river with stones so 
that no vessels can pass either way. It enables us to ' hold the fort ' 
with a very small force, but quite sufficient to prevent any one from 
removing the obstructions. Therefore the rebels' ironclads are use- 
less to them." 



FOUR CONFEDERATE IRONCLADS BLOWN UP. 293 

*' But can't we make a noise?" asked the President; ''that 
would be refreshing." 

"Yes," I replied, " we can make a noise ; and, if you desire it, 
I will commence." 

"Well, make a noise," he said. 

I sent a telegram to Captain Breese, just above Dutch Gap, to 
commence firing the starboard broadside guns of the vessels above, 
to have the guns loaded with shrapnel, and to fire in the direction 
of the forts without attempting any particular aim, to fire rapidly, 
and to keep it up until I told him to stop. The firing commenced 
about nine o'clock, the hour when all good soldiers and sailors turn 
in and take their rest. 

The President admitted that the noise was a very respectable 
one, and listened to it attentively, while the rapid flashes of the guns 
lit up the whole horizon. 

In about twenty minutes there was a loud explosion which shook 
the vessel. 

The President jumped from his chair. " I hope to Heaven one 
of them has not blown up ! " he exclaimed. 

"No, sir," I replied. " My ear detects that the sound was at 
least two miles farther up the river ; it is one of the rebel iron- 
clads. You will hear another in a minute." 

"Well," he said, " our noise has done some good ; that's a cheap 
way of getting rid of ironclads. I am certain Richmond is being 
evacuated, and that Lee has surrendered, or those fellows would not 
blow up their ironclads." 

Just then there was a second explosion, and two more followed 
close after. 

" That is all of them," I said ; "no doubt the forts are all evacu- 
ated, and to-morrow we can go up to Richmond. I will telegraph 
to Captain Breese to take the obstructions up to-night, or at least 
enough of them to let the Malvern go through." 

The telegram was sent, and the work of moving the obstruc- 
tions commenced at once. It was completed by eight o'clock the 
following morning, and several of the smaller vessels went 
through, got their boats out, and began sweeping the river for 
torpedoes. 

At daylight it was discovered that all the forts had been set on 
fire and evacuated, and nothing was to be seen of the ironclads but 
their black hulls partly out of water. 

General Weitzel, who commanded the army on the left of the 



294: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

James, was marching into Eichmond, and the whole tragedy was 
over. 

"Thank God," said the President, fervently, ''that I have 
lived to see this ! It seems to me that I have been dreaming a 
horrid dream for four years, and now the nightmare is gone. I 
want to see Richmond." 

" If there is any of it left," I added. " There is a black smoke 
over the city, but before we can go up we must remove all the tor- 
pedoes ; the river is full of them above Hewlit's Battery." It would 
have been simple destruction to attempt to go up there while the 
Confederates were in charge, and we could not have accomplished 
anything without a loss of life and vessels that would have been 
unjustifiable ; it was better as it was, and the only course was to 
co-operate with the general of the army according to his own desire. 

When the channel was reported clear of torpedoes (a large 
number of which were taken up), I proceeded up to Richmond in 
the Malvern, with President Lincoln on board the River Queen, and 
a heavy feeling of responsibility on my mind, notwithstanding the 
gi'eat care that had been taken to clear the river. 

Every vessel that got through the obstructions wished to be the 
first one up, and pushed ahead with all steam ; but they grounded, 
one after another, the Malvern passing them all, until she also took 
the ground. Not to be delayed, I took the President in my barge, 
and, with a tug ahead with a file of marines on board, we continued 
on up to the city. 

There was a large bridge across the James about a mile below 
the landing, and under this a party in a small steamer were caught 
and held by the current, with no prospect of release without assist- 
ance. These people begged me to extricate them from their peril- 
ous position, so I ordered the tug to cast oil and help them, leav- 
ing us in the barge to go on alone. 

Here we were in a solitary boat, after having set out with a 
number of vessels flying flags at every mast-head, hoping to enter 
the conquered capital in a manner befitting the rank of the Presi- 
dent of the United States, with a further intention of firing a na- 
tional salute in honor of the happy result. 

I remember the President's remarks on the occasion. ''Admi- 
ral, this brings to my mind a fellow who once came to me to ask 
for an appointment as minister abroad. Finding he could not 
get that, he came down to some more modest position. Finally 
he asked to be made a tide-waiter. When he saw he could not get 



NEGRO HOMAGE TO PRESIDENT LINCOLN. 295 

that, lie asked me for an old pair of trousers. But it is well to be 
humble." 

The tug never caught up with us. She got jammed in the 
bridge, and remained there that tide. 

I had never been to Kichmoud before by that route, and did not 
know where the landing was ; neither did the coxswain, nor any of 
the barge's crew. We pulled on, hoping to see some one of whom 
we could inquire, but no one was in sight. 

The street along the river-front was as deserted as if this had 
been a city of the dead. The troops had been in possession some 
hours, but not a soldier was to be seen. 

The current was now rushing past us over and among rocks, on 
one of which we finally stuck. 

*'Send for Colonel Bailey," said the President; "he will get 
you out of this." 

" No, sir, we don't want Colonel Bailey this time. I can man- 
age it." So I backed out and pointed for the nearest landing. 

There was a small house on this landing, and behind it were 
some twelve negroes digging with spades. The leader of them was 
an old man sixty years of age. He raised himself to an upright 
position as we landed, and put his hands up to his eyes. Then he 
dropped his spade and sprang forward. " Bress de Lord," he said, 
"dere is de great Messiah ! I knowed him as soon as I seed him. 
He's bin in my heart fo' long yeahs, an' he's cum at las' to free his 
chillun from deir bondage ! Glory, Hallelujah ! " And he fell upon 
his knees before the President and kissed his feet. The others 
followed his example, and in a minute Mr. Lincoln was surrounded 
by these people, who had treasured up the recollection of him 
caught from a photograph, and had looked up to him for four years 
as the one who was to lead them out of captivity. 

It was a touching sight — that aged negro kneeling at the feet of 
the tall, gaunt-looking man who seemed in himself to be bearing 
all the grief of the nation, and whose sad face seemed to say, "I 
suffer for you all, but will do all I can to help you." 

Mr. Lincoln looked down on the poor creatures at his feet ; he 
was much embarrassed at his position. " Don't kneel to me," he 
said. *' That is not right. You must kneel to God only, and thank 
him for the liberty you will hereafter enjoy. I am but God's humble 
instrument ; but you may rest assured that as long as I live no one 
shall put a shackle on your limbs, and you shall have all the rights 
which God has given to every other free citizen of this Republic." 



296 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

His face was lit up with a divine look as he uttered these words. 
Though not a handsome man, and ungainly in his person, yet in 
his enthusiasm he seemed the personification of manly beauty, and 
that sad face of his looked down in kindness upon these ignorant 
blacks with a grace that could not be excelled. He really seemed 
of another world. 

All this scene was of brief duration, but, though a simple and 
humble affair, it impressed me more than anything of the kind I 
ever witnessed. What a fine picture that would have made — Mr. 
Lincoln landing from a ship-of-war's boat, an aged negro on his 
knees at his feet, and a dozen more trying to reach him to kiss the 
hem of his garments ! In the foreground should be the shackles he 
had broken when he issued his proclamation giving liberty to the 
slave. 

Twenty years have passed since that event ; it is almost too new 
in history to make a great impression, but the time will come when 
it will loom up as one of the greatest of man's achievements, and 
the name of Abraham Lincoln — who of his own will struck the 
shackles from the limbs of four millions of people — will be honored 
thousands of years from now as man's name was never honored 
before. 

It was a minute or two before I could get the negroes to rise and 
leave the President. The scene was so touching I hated to disturb 
it, yet we could not stay there all day ; we had to move on ; so I 
requested the patriarch to withdraw from about the President with 
his companions and let us pass on. 

" Yes, Massa," said the old man, "but after bein' so many years 
in de desert widout water, it's mighty pleasant to be lookin' at las' 
on our spring of life. 'Sense us, sir ; we means no disrespec' to 
Mass' Lincoln ; we means all love and gratitude." And then, join- 
ing hands together in a ring, the negroes sang the following hymn 
with melodious and touching voices only possessed by the negroes 
of the South : 

" Oh, all ye people clap your hands, 
And with triumphant voices sing; 
No force the mighty power withstands 
Of God, the universal King." 

The President and all of us listened respectfully while the hymn 
was being sung. Four minutes at most had passed away since we 
first landed at a point where, as far as the eye could reach, the 



AN OVATION WORTHY OF AN EMPEROR. £97 

streets were entirely deserted, but now what a different scene ap- 
peared as that hymn went forth from the negroes' lips ! The streets 
seemed to be suddenly alive with the colored race. They seemed to 
spring from the earth. They came, tumbling and shouting, from 
over the hills and from the water-side, where no one was seen as 
we had passed. 

The crowd immediately became very oppressive. We needed 
our marines to keep them off. 

I ordered twelve of the boat's crew to fix bayonets to their rifles 
and to surround the President, all of which was quickly done ; but 
the crowd poured in so fearfully that I thought we all stood a 
chance of being crushed to death. 

I now realized the imprudence of landing without a large body 
of marines ; and yet this seemed to me, after all, the fittest way for 
Mr. Lincoln to come among the people he had redeemed from 
bondage. 

What an ovation he had, to be sure, from those so-called igno- 
rant beings ! They all had their souls in their eyes, and I don't 
think I ever looked upon a scene where there were so many passion- 
ately happy faces. 

While some were rushing forward to try and touch the man 
they had talked of and dreamed of for four long years, others stood 
off a little way and looked on in awe and wonder. Others turned 
somersaults, and many yelled for joy. Half of them acted as 
though demented, and could find no way of testifying their delight. 

They had been made to believe that they never would gain their 
liberty, and here they were brought face to face with it when least 
expected. It was as a beautiful toy unexpectedly given to a child 
after months of hopeless longing on its part ; it was such joy as 
never kills, but animates the dullest class of humanity. 

But we could not stay there all day looking at this happy mass 
of people ; the crowds and their yells were increasing, and in a 
short time we would be unable to move at all. The negroes, in 
their ecstasy, could not be made to understand that they were de- 
taining the President ; they looked upon him g,s belonging to them, 
and that he had come to put the crowning act to the great work he 
had commenced. They would not feel they were free in reality 
until they heard it from his own lips. 

At length he spoke. He could not move for the mass of people 
— he had to do something. 

" My poor friends," he said, " you are free — free as air. You 



298 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

can cast off the name of slave and trample upon it ; it will come to 
you no more. Liberty is your birthright. God gave it to you as 
he gave it to others, and it is a sin that you have been deprived of 
it for so many years. But you must try to deserve this j)riceless 
boon. Let the world see that you merit it, and are able to main- 
tain it by your good works. Don't let your joy carry you into 
excesses. Learn the laws and obey them ; obey God's command- 
ments and thank him for giving you liberty, for to him you owe 
all things. There, now, let me pass on ; I have but little time to 
spare. I want to see the capital, and must return at once to Wash- 
ington to secure to you that liberty which you seem to prize so 
highly." 

The crowd shouted and screeched as if they would sj)lit the 
firmament, though while the President was speaking you might 
have heard a pin drop. I don't think any one could do justice to 
that scene ; it would be necessary to photograph it to understand it. 

One could not help wondering where all this black mass of hu- 
manity came from, or if they were all the goods and chattels of 
those white people who had for four years set the armies of the 
Eepublic at defiance ; who had made these people work on their 
defenses and carry their loads, the only reward for which was the 
stronger riveting of the chains which kept them in subjection. 

At length we were able to move on, the crowd opening for us 
with shouts. I got the twelve seamen with fixed bayonets around 
the President to keep him from being crushed. It never struck 
me that there was any one in that multitude who would injure him ; 
it seemed to me that he had an army of supporters there who could 
and would defend him against all the world. 

But likely there were scowling eyes not far off ; men were per- 
haps looking on, with hati'ed in their hearts, who were even then 
seeking an opportunity to slay him. 

Our progress was very slow ; we did not move a mile an hour, 
and the crowd was still increasing. 

Many poor whites joined the throng, and sent up their shouts 
with the rest. "We were nearly half an hour getting from abreast 
of Libby Prison to the edge of the city. The President stopped a 
moment to look on the horrid bastile where so many Union soldiers 
had dragged out a dreadful existence, and were subjected to all 
the cruelty the minds of brutal jailers could devise. 

*' We will pull it down," cried the crowd, seeing where his look 
fell. 



ENTRANCE INTO RICHMOND. 299 

"No," he said, "leave it as a monument." 

He did not say a monument to what, but he meant, I am sure, 
to leave it as a monument to the loyalty of our soldiers, who would 
bear all the horrors of Libby sooner than desert their flag and cause. 

We struggled on, the great crowd preceding us, and an equally 
dense crowd of blacks following on behind — all so packed together 
that some of them frequently sang out in pain. 

It was not a model style for the President of the United States 
to enter the capital of a conquered country, yet there was a moral 
in it all which had more effect than if he had come surrounded with 
great armies and heralded by the booming of cannon. 

He came, armed with the majesty of the law, to put his seal to 
the act which had been established by the bayonets of the Union 
soldiers — the establishment of peace and good-will between the 
North and the South, and liberty to all mankind who dwell upon 
our shores. 

We forced our way onward slowly, and, as we reached the edge 
of the city, the sidewalks were lined on both sides of the streets 
with black and white alike — all looking with curious, eager faces at 
the man who held their destiny in his hand ; but there was no anger 
in any one's face ; the whole was like a gala day, and it looked as 
if the President was some expected guest who had come to receive 
great honors. Indeed, no man was ever accorded a greater ovation 
than was extended to him, be it from warm hearts or from simple 
ceremony. 

It was a warm day, and the streets were dusty, owing to the 
immense gathering which covered every part of them, kicking up 
the dirt. The atmosphere was suffocating, but Mr. Lincoln could 
be seen plainly by every man, woman, and child, towering head and 
shoulders above that crowd ; he overtopped every man there. He 
carried his hat in his hand, fanning his face, from which the per- 
spiration was pouring. He looked as if he would have given his 
Presidency for a glass of water — I would have given my commis- 
sion for half that. 

Now came another phase in the procession. As we entered the 
city every window flew up, from ground to roof, and every one was 
filled with eager, peering faces, which turned one to another and 
seemed to ask, " Is this large man, with soft eyes and kind, be- 
nevolent face, the one who has been held up to us as the incarna- 
tion of wickedness, the destroyer of the South ? " I think that 
illusion vanished, if it was ever harbored by any one there. I don't 



300 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

know what there was to amuse them in looking on the scene before 
them, but certainly I never saw a merrier crowd in my life, black 
or white. 

We were brought to a halt by the dense jam before we had gone 
a square into the city, which was still on fire near the Tredegar 
"Works and in the structures thereabout, and the smoke, setting 
our way, almost choked us. 

I had not seen a soldier whom I could send to General Weitzel 
to ask for an escort, and it would have been useless to send one of 
the contrabands, for he would have been too much interested in 
seeing the sights and in looking at the President, from whom none 
of them took their eyes. I don't think any one noticed the rest of 
the party. 

I think the people could not have had a gala day since the Con- 
federates occupied Eichmond as headquarters. Judging from pres- 
ent appearances, they certainly were not grieving over the loss of 
the Government which had just fled. 

There was nothing like taunt or defiance in the faces of those 
who were gazing from the windows or craning their necks from the 
sidewalks to catch a view of the President. The look of every one 
was that of eager curiosity — nothing more. 

While we were stopped for a moment by the crowd, a white 
man in his shirt-sleeves rushed from the sidewalk toward the Presi- 
dent. His looks were so eager that I questioned his friendship, 
and prepared to receive him on the point of my sword ; but when 
he got within ten feet of us he suddenly stopped short, took off his 
hat, and cried out, " Abraham Lincoln, God bless you ! You are the 
poor man's friend ! " Then he tried to force his way to the Presi- 
dent to shake hands with him. He would not take " No " for an 
answer until I had to treat him rather roughly, when he stood off, 
with his arms folded, and looked intently after us. The last I saw 
of him he was throwing his hat into the air. 

Just after this a beautiful girl came from the sidewalk, with a 
large bouquet of roses in her hand, and advanced, struggling 
through the crowd toward the President. The mass of people en- 
deavored to open to let her pass, but she had a hard time in reach- 
ing him. Her clothes were very much disarranged in making the 
journey across the street. 

I reached out and helped her within the circle of the sailors' 
bayonets, where, although nearly stifled with the dust, she grace- 
fully presented her bouquet to the President and made a neat little 



RICHMOND LEFT TO THE PROTECTION OF OUR TROOPS. 301 

speech, while he held her hand. The beauty and youth of the girl 
— for she was only about seventeen — made the presentation very 
touching. 

There was a card on the bouquet with these simple words : 
**rrom Eva to the Liberator of the slaves." She remained no 
longer than to deliver her present ; then two of the sailors were 
sent to escort her back to the sidewalk. There was no cheering at 
this, nor yet was any disapprobation shown ; but it was evidently a 
matter of great interest, for the girl was surrounded and plied with 
questions. 

I asked myself what all this could mean but that the people of 
Richmond were glad to see the end of the strife and the advent of 
a milder form of government than that which had just departed in 
such an ignoble manner. They felt that the late Government, 
instead of decamping with the gold of the Confederacy, should 
have remained at the capital, and surrendered in a dignified man- 
ner, making terms for the citizens of the place, guarding their 
rights, and acknowledging that they had lost the game. There 
was nothing to be ashamed of in such a surrender to a vastly su- 
perior force ; their armies had fought as people never fought before. 
"They had robbed the cradle and the grave" to sustain themselves, 
and all that was wanted to make them glorious was the submission 
of the leaders, with the troops, in a dignified way, while they might 
have said, "We have done our best to win, but you have justice on 
your side, and are too strong for us ; we pledge ourselves to keep 
the peace." 

Instead of remaining to protect the citizens against ruffianism, 
the Confederate authorities of Richmond left that to our troops, 
and I will say no soldiers ever performed a trust more faithfully. 
At the moment of which I speak the majority of them were en- 
gaged in putting out the fires that were started as the enemy left 
the town, determined, it seemed, to destroy all the public works, 
so that we could derive no benefit from them. They would have 
been about as useful to us as the old "hay-ricks" which encum- 
bered the navy list at the end of the war. 

At length I got hold of a cavalryman. He was sitting his horse 
near the sidewalk, blocked in by the people, and looking on with 
the same expression of interest as the others. 

He was the only soldier I had seen since we landed, showing 
that the general commanding the Union forces had no desire to 
interfere, in any case, with the comfort of the citizens. There was 



302 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

only guard enough posted about the streets to protect property and 
to prevent irregularities. 

"Go to the general," I said to the trooper, "and tell him to 
send a military escort here to guard the President and get him 
through this crowd ! " 

"Is that old Abe?" asked the soldier, his eyes as large as 
saucers. The sight of the President was as strange to him as to 
the inhabitants ; but off he went as fast as the crowd would allow 
him, and, some twenty minutes later, I heard the clatter of horses' 
hoofs over the stones as a troop of cavalry came galloping and 
clearing the street, which they did, however, as mildly as if for a 
parade. 

For the first time since starting from the landing we were able 
to walk along uninterruptedly. In a short time we reached the 
mansion of Mr. Davis, President of the Confederacy, occupied after 
the evacuation as the headquarters of Generals Weitzel and Shepley. 
It was quite a small affair compared with the White House, and 
modest in all its appointments, showing that while President Davis 
was engaged heart and soul in endeavoring to effect the division of 
the States, he was not, at least, surrounding himself with regal 
style, but was living in a modest, comfortable way, like any other 
citizen. 

Amid all his surroundings the refined taste of his wife was 
apparent, and marked everything about the apartments. 

There was great cheering going on. Hundreds of civilians — I 
don't know who they were — assembled at the front of the house to 
welcome Mr. Lincoln. 

General Shepley made a speech and gave us a lunch, after which 
we entered a carriage and visited the State-House — the late seat of 
the Confederate Congress. It was in dreadful disorder, betokening 
a sudden and unexpected flight ; members' tables were upset, bales 
of Confederate scrip were lying about the floor, and many official 
documents of some value were scattered about. It was strange to 
me that they had not set fire to the building before they departed, 
to bury in oblivion every record that might remain relating to the 
events of the past four years. 

After this inspection I urged the President to go on board the 
Malvern. I began to feel more heavily the responsibility resting 
upon me through the care of his person. The evening was ap- 
proaching, and we were in a carriage open on all sides. He was 
glad to go ; he was tired out, and wanted the quiet of the flag-ship. 



ON BOARD THE MALVERN AGAIN. 303 

We took leave of our hosts and departed. 

I was oppressed with uneasiness until we got on board and 
stood on deck with the President safe ; then there was not a hap- 
pier man anywhere than myself. 

I determined that the President should go nowhere again, 
while under my charge, unless I was with him and had a guard of 
marines. I thought of the risks we had run that day, and I was 
satisfied before night was over that I had good cause for apprehen- 
sion. 

We were all sitting on the upper deck about eight o'clock that 
evening, when a man came down to the landing and hailed the 
Malvern (the vessel had come-to off the city during the day), say- 
ing that he had dispatches for the President. I told the captain to 
send a boat to the shore to bring off the dispatches, but not to 
bring the bearer. The boat returned with neither dispatches nor 
man. The boat-officer said the man would not deliver the dis- 
patches to any one but the President himself. 

"Let him come on board," said the President. 

*' Don't you think we should be careful whom we admit after 
dark, sir ? " I asked. 

''Well, yes," he replied; "but these dispatches may be from 
General Grant, and the man may be only obeying his orders liter- 
ally." 

I ordered the boat to go back and bring the man on board, de- 
termined to stand near the President when the dispatches were 
delivered. 

I knew that General Grant would send dispatches only by an 
officer, and the midshipman in the boat told me this was not one. 

When the boat returned to the shore the man was gone. As I 
suspected, he was a bogus dispatch-bearer. The circumstance was 
very suspicious. 

I inquired about the appearance of the person when seen by the 
officer of the boat. 

"He was a tall man with a black moustache, wore a slouch hat 
and a long cloak, a regular theatrical villain — one of the stereotyped 
play robbers. " 

That man was, without doubt, Wilkes Booth, who sought the 
President's life. It would have suited Booth's tragical spirit to slay 
him on such an occasion ; it would have added greatly to the scenic 
effect. 

In the course of a half-hour another hail came from the shore, 



30A INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

from which Tve lay not more than twenty yards. A person wanted 
a boat ; a sailor from the Saugus wanted to report himself on board. 
There was no such vessel in the fleet, though there was one in the 
navy. I sent an officer and four men in the boat to bring the man 
off, not to let him escape, and, when in the boat, to put hand-irons 
on him. Then I swept the shore with a night-glass, but could see 
no one. The boat landed a minute later. There was no man to 
be seen. The boat's crew ran up and down the river and looked 
over the bank, but no one could be found. 

These two circumstances made me more suspicious, and every 
care was taken that no one should get on board without full identi- 
fication. 

The President himself felt a little unpleasant and nervous, and 
that night a marine kept guard at his state-room door. 

Next morning, at ten o'clock, Mr. John A. Campbell, late Jus- 
tice of the Supreme Court of the United States, sent a request to 
be allowed to come on board with General Weitzel. He wanted to 
call on the President. He came on board and spent an hour. The 
President and himself seemed to be enjoying themselves very much, 
to judge from their laughter. 

I did not go down to the cabin. In about an hour General 
"Weitzel and Mr. Campbell came on deck, asked for a boat, and 
were landed. 

I went down below for a moment, and the President said : 
*' Admiral, I am sorry you were not here when Mr. Campbell was 
on board. He has gone on shore happy. I gave him a written 
permission to allow the State Legislature to convene in the Capitol 
in the absence of all other government." 

I was rather astonished at this piece of information. I felt that 
this course would bring about complications, and wondered how it 
had all come to pass. I found it had all been done by the persua- 
sive tongue of Mr. Campbell, who had promised the President that 
if the Legislature of Virginia could meet in the halls of the Confed- 
erate Congress it would vote Virginia right back into the Union ; 
that it would be a delicate compliment paid to Virginia which 
would be appreciated, etc. 

Weitzel backed up Mr. Campbell, and the President was won 
over to agree to what would have been a most humiliating thing if 
it had been accomplished. 

When the President told me all that had been done, and that 
General Weitzel had gone on shore with an order in his pocket to 



THE PRESIDENT AND THE LATE JUSTICE CAMPBELL. 305 

let the Legislature meet, I merely said : ''Mr. President, I suppose 
you remember that this city is under military jurisdiction, and that 
no courts, Legislature, or civil authority can exercise any power 
without the sanction of the general commanding the army. This 
order of yours should go through General Grant, who would inform 
you that Eichmond was under martial law ; and I am sure he would 
protest against this arrangement of Mr. Campbell's," 

The President's common sense took in the situation at once. 
" Why," he said, " Weitzel made no objection, and he commands 
here. " 

**That is because he is Mr. Campbell's particular friend, and 
wished to gratify him ; besides, I don't think he knows much 
about anything but soldiering. General Shepley would not have 
preferred such a request." 

"Run and stop them," exclaimed the President, "and get my 
order back ! Well, I came near knocking all the fat into the fire, 
didn't I?" 

To make things sure, I had an order written to General Weitzel 
and signed by the President as follows : " Return my permission to 
the Legislature of Virginia to meet, and don't allow it to meet at 
all." There was an ambulance-wagon at the landing, and, giving 
the order to an officer, I said to him, ''Jump into that wagon, and 
kill the horse if necessary, but catch the carriage which carried 
General Weitzel and Mr. Campbell, and deliver this order to the 
general." 

The carriage was caught after it reached the city. The old 
wagon horse had been a trotter in his day, and went his three 
minutes. The general and Mr. Campbell were surprised. The 
President's order was sent back, and they never returned to try and 
reverse the decision. 

Mr. Campbell evidently saw that his scheme of trying to put 
the State Legislature in session with the sanction of the President 
had failed, and that it was useless to try it again. It was a clever 
dodge to soothe the wounded feelings of the South, and no doubt 
was kindly meant by the late Justice Campbell, but what a howl it 
would have raised at the North ! .Mr. Campbell had been gone 
about an hour when we had another remarkable scene. A man 
appeared at the landing, dressed in gray homespun, of a somewhat 
decayed appearance, and with a staff about six feet long in his 
hand. It was, in fact, nothing more than a stick taken from a 
wood-pile. It was about two inches in diameter, and was not even 
20 



306 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR, 

smoothed at the knots. It was just such a weapon as a man would 
pick up to kill a mad dog with. 

"Who are you, and what do you want ?" asked the officer of 
the deck. " You can not come on board unless you have important 
business." 

"I am Duff Green," said the man. ''I want to see Abraham 
Lincoln, and my business concerns myself alone. You tell Abra- 
ham Lincoln Duff Green wants to see him." 

The officer came down into the cabin and delivered the message. 
I arose and said, "I will go up and send him away," but the Presi- 
dent interposed. 

" Let him come on board," he said ; " Duff is an old friend of 
mine, and I would like to talk to him." 

I then went on deck to have a boat sent for him and to see what 
kind of a man this was who sent off such arrogant messages to the 
President of the United States. He stepped into the boat as if it 
belonged to him ; instead of sitting down he stood up, leaning on 
his long staff. When he came over the side he stood on the deck 
defiantly, looked up at the flag and scowled, and then, turning. to 
me, whom he knew very well, he said, *'I want to see Abraham 
Lincoln." He paid no courtesy to me or to the quarter deck. 

It had been a very long time since he had shaved or cut his 
hair, and he might have come under the head "unkempt and not 
canny." 

"When you come in a respectful manner," I said, "the Presi- 
dent will see you ; but throw away that cord of wood you have in 
your hand before entering the President's presence." 

" How long is it," he said, " since Abraham Lincoln took to 
aping royalty ? Man, clothed in brief authority, cuts such fantas- 
tic capers before high heaven as make the angels weep. I can ex- 
pect airs from a naval officer, but I don't expect them in a man 
with Abraham Lincoln's horse sense." I 

I thought the man crazy, and think so still. " I can't permit 
you to see the President," I said, " until I receive further instruc- 
tions ; but you can't see him at all until you throw that wood-pile 
overboard." 

He turned on his heel and tried to throw the stick on shore, but 
it fell short, and went floating down with the current. 

"Ah," he said, "has it come to that ? Is he afraid of assassi- 
nation ? Tyrants generally get into that condition." 

I went down and reported this queer customer to the President, 



I 



VISIT FROM DUFF GREEN. 307 

and told him I thought the man insane ; hut he said, " Let him 
come down ; he always was a little queer. I sha'n't mind 
him." 

Mr. Duff Green was shown into the cabin. 

The President got up from his chair to receive him, and, ap- 
proaching, offered him his hand. 

**]S[o," said Green, with a tragic air, *'it is red with blood ; I 
can't touch it. When I knew it, it was an honest hand. It has 
cut the throats of thousands of my people, and their blood, which 
now lies soaking into the ground, cries aloud to Heaven for ven- 
geance. I came to see you, not for old remembrance' sake, but to 
give you a piece of my opinion. You won't like it, but I don't care, 
for people don't generally like to have the truth told them. You 
have come here, protected by your army and navy, to gloat over the 
ruin and desolation you have caused. You are a second Nero, and, 
had you lived in his day, you would have fiddled while Eome was 
burning ! " 

When the fanatic commenced this tirade of abuse Mr. Lincoln 
was standing with his hand outstretched, his mouth wreathed with 
the pleasant smile it almost always wore, and his eyes lighted up as 
when anything pleased him. He was pleased because about to meet 
an old and esteemed friend, and better pleased that this friend had 
come to see him of his own accord. 

The outstretched hand was gradually withdrawn as Duff Green 
started on his talk, the smile left the President's lips as the talker 
got to the middle of his harangue, and the softness of his eyes faded 
out. He was another man altogether. 

Had any one closed his eyes after Duff Green commenced speak- 
ing, and opened them when he stopped, he would have seen a per- 
fect transformation. The hearer's slouchy manner had disappeared, 
his mouth was compressed, his eyes were fixed, even his stature 
appeared increased. 

Duff Green went on without noticing the change in the Presi- 
dent's manner and appearance. " You came here," he continued, 
* to triumph over a poor, conquered town, with only women and 
children in it ; whose soldiers have left it, and would rather starve 
than see your hateful presence here ; those soldiers — and only a 
handful at that — who have for four years defied your paid merce- 
naries on those glorious hills, and have taught you to respect the 
rights of the South. You have given your best blood to conquer 
them, and now you will march back to your demoralized capital 



308 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

and lay out your wits to win them over so that you can hold this 
Government in perpetuity. Shame on you ! Shame on — " 

Mr. Lincoln could stand it no longer ; his coarse hair stood on 
end, and his nostrils dilated like those of an excited race-horse. He 
stretched out his long right arm, and extended his lean forefinger 
until it almost touched DufE Green's face. He made one step for- 
ward, to place himself as near as possible to this vituperator, and in 
a clear, cutting voice addressed him. He was really graceful while 
he spoke — with the grace of one expressing his honest convictions. 

**Stop, you political tramp," he exclaimed, "you, the aider and 
abettor of those who have brought all this ruin upon your country, 
without the courage to risk your person in defense of the princi- 
ples you profess to espouse ! A fellow who stood by to gather up 
the loaves and fishes, if any should fall to you ! A man who had 
no principles in the North, and took none South with him ! A 
political hyena who robbed the graves of the dead, and adopted 
their language as his own ! You talk of the North cutting the 
throats of the Southern people. You have all cut your own throats, 
and, unfortunately, have cut many of those of the North. Miserable 
impostor, vile intruder ! Go, before I forget myself and the high 
position I hold ! Go, I tell you, and don't desecrate this national 
vessel another minute ! " And he made a step toward him. 

This was something Duff Green had not calculated upon ; he 
had never seen Abraham Lincoln in anger. His courage failed him, 
and he turned and fled out of the cabin and up the cabin-stairs as 
if the avenging angel was after him. He never stopped till he 
reached the gangway, and there he stood, looking at the shore, 
seemingly measuring the distance, to see if he could swim to the 
landing. 

I was close behind him, and when I got on deck I said to the 
ofiBcer in charge, "Put that man on shore, and if he appears in 
sight of this vessel while we are here, have him sent away with 
scant ceremony." 

He was as humble at that moment as a whipped dog, and hur- 
ried into the boat when ordered. 

The last I saw of him he was striding rapidly over the fields, as 
if to reach the shelter of the woods. When I returned to the cabin, 
about fifteen minutes later, the President was perfectly calm — as if 
nothing had happened — and did not revert to the subject for some 
hours. 

" This place seems to give you annoyance, sir," I said. " "Would 



STEAMING DOWN THE RIVER. 309 

you prefer to get under way and go to City Point, where we are 
more among friends than here ? " 

*' Yes," he answered, *'let us go. I seem to be 'putting my 
foot into it' here all the time. Bless my soul, how Seward would 
have preached, and read PufEendorf, Vattel, and Grotius to me, if 
he had been here when I gave Campbell peraiission to let the Legis- 
lature meet ! I'd never have heard the last of it. Seward is a small 
compendium of international law himself, and laughs at my * horse 
sense,' which I pride myself on, and yet I put my foot into that 
thing about Campbell with my eyes wide open. If I were you, I 
don't think I would repeat that joke yet awhile. People might 
laugh at you for knowing so much, and more than the President ! 
I am afraid that the most of my learning lies in my heart more 
than in my head." 

We got under way and steamed down the river. While we had 
been up at Richmond the gun-boat people had completed the 
removal of the torpedoes from the river-bed and laid them all out 
on the banks, where they looked like so many queer fish basking in 
the sun, of all sizes and shapes. 

The President had originally proposed to come up on horseback, 
but I told him that "there was not a particle of danger from tor- 
pedoes ; that I would have them all taken up." When he saw 
them all on the bank he turned to me and said, "You must have 
been * awful afraid ' of getting on that sergeant's old horse again to 
risk all this." We got down safe, however ; there was not enough 
danger to make it interesting. The President had some quaint 
remarks about everything we saw, particularly about Dutch Gap, 
which, he said, " ought to have been commenced before the war — 
at least ten years. Then," he said, " you might have had a chance 
of getting your gun-boats up that way. By the way, your friend 
the general wasn't a ' boss ' engineer. He was better at running 
cotton-mills. How many people did it cost for that jetty ? " he 
asked. 

"One hundred and forty killed there as far as I can learn," I 
answered. 

Then he went into a discussion of the generals of the war — what 
diflEiculties he had in making appointments, etc. He illustrated 
each case with a story. In speaking of one general, he said it re- 
minded him of a friend of his — a blacksmith — he knew out in the 
West when he was a boatman. 

This old friend was celebrated for making good work, especially 



310 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

axes, which were in great demand at that day. No boatman had a 
complete outfit unless he had a good axe. 

" One day he said to me, ' Lincoln, I have the finest piece of 
steel you ever saw ; I got it on purpose to make an axe for you, 
and if you will sit down and tell me a good story you shall have 
the axe when it is finished.' 'Go ahead,' I said, and I sat down 
to tell the story while he made the axe. 

*' My friend the blacksmith first put on a huge piece of fresh 
coal, and blew it up until it was at a proper heat — the coals glow- 
ing ; he took up the piece of steel and looked at it affectionate- 
ly, patted it all over, then, 'Lincoln,' he said, 'did you ever see 
a piece of steel equal to that ? It'll make you a companion you 
will never want to part with, and when you are using it you will 
think of me.' Then he put it into the fire, and began to work his 
bellows while I commenced my story. 

" He blew and blew until the steel was at a deep-red heat, when, 
taking it out of the fire and laying it on the anvil, he gave it a clip 
with a four-pound hammer. Lord bless you, how the sparks flew, 
and the big red scales also ! The blacksmith hit it about a dozen 
blows and then stopped. ' Lincoln,' he said, ' here's a go, and a 
bad one too. This lump of steel ain't worth the powder that would 
blow it up. I never was so deceived in anything in all my life. It 
won't make an axe. But I'll tell you what it will make. It wiU 
make a clevis,' and he put it in the fire again and went through the 
same performance as before. Then, when it was heated, he laid it 
on the anvil and commenced to hammer it. The sparks flew, and 
so did the scales, and in a minute half of it was gone. The black- 
smith stopped and scratched his head, as men often do under diffi- 
culties. ' Well,' he said, ' this certainly is an onery piece of steel, 
but it may get better nearer the heart of it. I can't make a clevis 
of it, but it will make a clevis-bolt. It may have some good in it 
yet. After all, a good clevis-bolt is not a bad thing.' 

" He put it into the fire again, and this time got it to a white 
heat. ' I think I have it now, Lincoln,' and he pounded away at 
it until I was almost blinded with scales. 

" 'This won't do,' he said. ' I certainly don't know my trade 
to allow a thing like that to fool me so. Well, well, it won't 
make a clevis-bolt, but I have one resort yet ; it will make a ten- 
peiiny nail. You will have to wait for your axe,' and he put the 
metal into the fire again. 

*' This time he didn't blow it ; he let it get red-hot natu- 



A GENERAL WHO WENT OFF IN A FIZZLE. 311 

rally, and when it was as he wanted it, he put it on the anvil 
again. 

"■ 'This,' he said, *is a sure thing. I am down to the heart of 
the piece. There must be a ten-penny nail in this.' But he was 
mistaken ; there was only a small piece of wire left. He was actu- 
ally dazed. 

*' *Durn the thing,' he said. *I don't know what to make of 
it. I tried it as an axe, it failed me. Then it failed me as a clevis. 
It failed me as a clevis-bolt, and the cussed thing wouldn't even 
make a ten-penny nail ! ' 

" * But I'll tell you, old fellow, what it will make,' and he put 
it into the fire again until it and the tongs were at white heat. 
Then, turning around, he rammed it into a bucket of water. 
* There, durn you, you'll make a big fizzle, and that's all you will 
make ! ' and it sputtei'ed and fizzed until it went out, and there 
was nothing of it left. 

''Now that's the case with the person I was speaking of," con- 
tinued the President. "I tried him as an axe. I tried him as a 
clevis. He was so full of shakes he wouldn't work into one. I 
tried him as a clevis-bolt. He was a dead failure, and he wouldn't 
make even a ten-penny nail. But he did make the biggest fizzle 
that has been made this war, and fizzled himself out of the army. 

" ' With a shocking bad name, 
And his credit at zero, 
He was contented to stay 
At home as a hero ! ' " 

We anchored a short time afterward, and were glad to be look- 
ing on the quiet wharves at City Point. 

That evening the sailors and marines were sent out to guard 
and escort in some prisoners, numbering about a thousand, more 
or less, who were placed on board a large transport lying in the 
stream. 

The President expressing a desire to go on shore, I ordered the 
barge and went with him. 

We had to pass the transport with the prisoners ; they all 
rushed to the side with eager curiosity ; all wanted to see the 
Northern President. 

They seemed perfectly content ; every man had a hunk of meat 
and a piece of bread in his hand, and was doing his best to dispose 
of it. 



312 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

"That's old Abe," said one of them. "Give the old fellow 
three cheers," said another ; while a third called out, " Halloo, Abe, 
your bread and meat's better than pop-corn." 

This was all good-natured and kindly. I could see no difference 
between them and our own men, except that they were ragged and 
attenuated from want of wholesome food. They were as happy a 
set of men as I ever saw ; they could see their homes looming up 
before them in the distance, and knew the war was over. 

" They will never shoulder a musket again in anger," said the 
President, " and if Grant is wise he will leave them their guns to 
shoot crows with, and their horses to plow with ; it would do no 
harm. " 



CHAPTEE XXIV. 

GENERAL SHERMAN ARRIVES AT GOLDSBORO' — SHERMAN CALLS 
ON THE PRESIDENT — COUNCIL ON BOARD THE RIVER QUEEN — 
PRESIDENT LINCOLN'S KIND INTENTIONS TOWARD THE CONFED- 
ERATE ARMIES — LET THEM HAVE THEIR HORSES TO PLOW WITH, 
AND THEIR MUSKETS TO SHOOT CROWS WITH — " THERE ARE 
NO SOUTHERN RAILROADS ; MY BUMMERS HAVE TAKEN THEM 
ALL up" — WHY SUCH A HOWL AT THE NORTH — LEE SURREN- 
DERS — THE PRESIDENT RETURNS TO WASHINGTON — SEND OFFI- 
CERS WITH HIM TO PROTECT HIS PERSON — HIS DEATH — THERE 
LIES THE BEST MAN I EVER KNEW. 

I MUST now go back a little. 

While General Grant was preparing to march and surround Gen- 
eral Lee at Richmond, Sherman was coming rapidly with all his 
veterans toward Goldsboro', North Carolina, which place he reached 
on the 21st of March, 1865. There he effected a junction with the 
forces of Generals Schofield and Terry, which had come up from 
Wilmington. This combination gave Sherman an effective force 
of at least eighty thousand men. 

When Sherman arrived at Goldsboro' his army was literally with- 
out clothes and very short of provisions. It was necessary that 
they should be supplied at once, and it was so important that he 
should see General Grant and ascertain the exact position that he 
determined to come to City Point. The President also desired to 



COUNCIL ON BOARD THE RIVER QUEEN. 313 

see hini at that place, and I think General Grant sent him a com- 
munication to that effect. 

Leaving General Schofield in command of the army, Sherman 
took the small steamer Russia from Morehead City and proceeded 
in her to City Point, arriving on March 27th. He was received on 
board the River Queen by the President with that warmth of feel- 
ing which always distinguished him when meeting any of the brave 
men who had devoted their lives to crushing out the great Rebel- 
lion. 

General Sherman spent a long time with the President, explain- 
ing to him the situation in his department, which was very encour- 
aging. 

At this moment Sherman's army was holding General Joe John- 
ston's forces in North Carolina in a position from which he could 
not move without precipitating a battle with some eighty thousand 
of the best troops in our army. It was thought at that time that 
Johnston would endeavor to make a junction with General Lee at 
Richmond, which, in the light of subsequent events, would have 
been an impossibility. Again, it was thought that Lee would 
attempt to escape from Richmond and try to effect a junction with 
Johnston. Quite as impossible as the other move, for at that mo- 
ment Sheridan was pushing his cavalry across the James River 
from North to South, and with this cavalry intended to extend his 
left below Petersburg so as to meet the South Shore road, and, if 
Lee should leave his fortified lines, Grant would fall on his rear and 
follow him so closely that he could not possibly fall on Sherman's 
army in North Carolina, besides which Sherman felt confident that 
with his eighty thousand men he could hold his own against John- 
ston and Lee combined until Grant came up with the Army of the 
James. 

The morning after Sherman's arrival the President held a coun- 
cil on board the River Queen, composed of General Grant, General 
Sherman, and myself, and, as considerable controversy was caused 
by the terms of surrender granted to General Joe Johnston, I will 
mention here the conversation which took place during this meet- 
ing in the River Queen's cabin. 

I made it a rule during the war to write down at night before 
retiring to rest what had occurred during each day, and I was par- 
ticularly careful in doing so in this instance. 

At this meeting Mr. Lincoln and General Sherman were the 
speakers, and the former declared his opinions at length before 



314: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

Sherman answered him. The President feared that Lee — seeing 
our lines closing about him, the coast completely blockaded, his 
troops almost destitute of clothing and short of provisions — might 
make an attempt to break away from the fortified works at Rich- 
mond, make a junction with General Joe Johnston, and escape 
South or tight a last bloody battle. 

Any one looking at the situation of the armies at that time will 
see that such an attempt would not have been possible. 

Sherman had eighty thousand fine troops at Goldsboro', only 
one hundred and fifty miles from Richmond and one hundred and 
twenty miles from Greensborough, which latter place cut the Rich- 
mond and Danville Railroad, the only one by which Lee could 
escape. 

The President's mind was made easy on this score, yet it was 
remarkable how many shrewd questions he asked on the subject, 
and how difficult some of them were to answer. He stated his 
views in regard to what he desired ; he felt sure, as did every one 
at that council, that the end of the war was near at hand ; and, 
though some thought a bloody battle was impending, all thought 
that Richmond would fall in less than a week. 

He wanted the surrender of the Confederate armies, and desired 
that the most liberal terms should be granted them. " Let them 
once surrender," he said, "and reach their homes, they won't take 
up arms again. Let them all go, officers and all. I want submis- 
sion, and no more bloodshed. Let them have their horses to plow 
with, and, if you like, their guns to shoot crows with. I want no 
one punished ; treat them liberally all round. "We want those peo- 
ple to return to their allegiance to the Union and submit to the 
laws. Again I say, give them the most liberal and honorable terms." 

*'But, Mr. President," said Sherman, "I can dictate my own 
terms to General Johnston. All I want is two weeks' time to fit 
out my men with shoes and clothes, and I will be ready to march 
upon Johnston and compel him to surrender ; he is short of cloth- 
ing, and in two weeks he would have no provisions at all." 

"And," added the President, "two weeks is an age, and the 
first thing you will know General Johnston will be off South again 
with those hardy troops of his, and will keep the war going indefi- 
nitely. 'No, General, he must not get away ; we must have his sur- 
render at all hazards, so don't be hard on him about terms. Yes, 
he will get away if he can, and you will never catch him until after 
miles of travel and many bloody battles." 



LINCOLN'S KIND INTENTIONS. 315 

**Mr. President," said Sherman, "there is no possible way of 
General Johnston's escaping ; he is my property as he is now situ- 
ated, and I can demand an unconditional surrender ; he can't 
escape. " 

" What is to prevent him from escaping with all his army by 
the Southern raih'oads while you are fitting out your men ? " asked 
Grant. 

" Because," answered Sherman, " there are no Southern rail- 
roads to speak of ; my bummers have broken up the roads in sec- 
tions all behind us — and they did it well." 

" But," said Grant, "can't they relay the rails, the same as you 
did the other day, from Newbern and Wilmington to Goldsboro' ?" 

Sherman laughed. "Why, no," he said, "my boys don't do 
things by halves. When they tore up the rails they put them over 
hot fires made from the ties, and then twisted them more crooked 
than a rani's horn. All the blacksmiths iu the South could not 
straighten them out." 

"Mr. President," said Sherman, turning to Mr. Lincoln, "the 
Confederacy has gone up, or will go up. We hold all the line be- 
tween Wilmington and Goldsboro', where my troops are now fitting 
out from the transports. My transports can come up the Neuse 
Eiver as far as Newbern. We could flood the South with troops 
and provisions without hindrance. We hold the situation, and 
General Johnston can surrender to me on my own terms." 

"All very well," said the President, "but we must have no 
mistakes, and my way is a sure way. Offer Johnston the same 
terms that will be offered to Lee ; then, if he is defiant, and will not 
accept them, try your plan. But as long as the Confederate armies 
lay down their arms, I don't think it matters much how it is done. 
Only don't let us have any more bloodshed if it can be qrvoided. 
General Grant is for giving Lee the most favorable terms." 

To this General Grant assented. 

"Well, Mr. President," said Sherman, "I will carry out your 
wishes to the letter, and I am quite satisfied that, as soon as Eich- 
mond falls, Joe Johnston will surrender also." 

Sherman, at the end of that council, supposed he was acting 
under instructions, which he carried out, so far as I can understand 
it, pretty much as the President desired. 

The council over, and the President being desirous that General 
Sherman should return to his command as soon as possible, the 
latter determined to return that afternoon by sea. 



316 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

I gave liim the naval steamer Bat to take Kim back again to his 
post — a vessel that could make sixteen knots an hour — and he was 
soon at his headquarters. 

I shall never forget that council which met on board the Eiver 
Queen. On the determinations adopted there depended peace, or a 
continuation of the war with its attendant horrors. That council 
has been illustrated in a fine painting by Mr. Healy, the artist, who, 
in casting about for the subject of an historical picture, hit upon 
this interview, which really was an occasion upon which depended 
whether or not the war would be continued a year longer. A single 
false step might have prolonged it indefinitely. 

Even at the last, when the Confederates were known to be in 
most straitened circumstances — without food and clothing for their 
troops or forage for their animals, short at the same time of am- 
munition, without which their armies were useless — they had 
powerful forces in and about Eichmond, which, if once united with 
General Johnston's army, would have made a most formidable 
array. Eighty thousand men, handled by such men as General 
Lee and General Johnston, would have been a hard army to beat. 
We had had so many proofs during the war of the ability of those 
generals and soldiers to hold their own against superior numbers, 
that we knew very well what they could and would do when driven 
to desperation. 

Though seemingly brought to the end of their tether, they were 
still able to fight one more bloody battle — so bloody that it would 
have brought sorrow to the hearthstones of very many thousands, 
North and South. 

Mr. Lincoln saw all this ; he often talked to me about it, and 
when he came to City Point it was with the intention to bring 
about a peace, even if he had to waive some point to the Confederate 
generals. 

The kindness of his intentions was shown when he agreed to the 
late Justice Campbell's proposition to allow the Virginia Legisla- 
ture to convene in the State-House at Richmond, as related in the 
last chapter. 

Another proof of Mr. Lincoln's determination to bring about 
peace was that he would not permit any member of his Cabinet to 
join him at City Point. 

Mr. Seward telegraphed several times to the President for an 
invitation to visit him at that place, with other members of the 
Cabinet ; but Mr. Lincoln, on each and every occasion, positively 



PRESIDENT LINCJOLN'S HUMANITY. 317 

declined to have them come there. He had his own views, and de- 
termined to carry them out, unhampered by the opinions of his 
advisers. 

General Grant and the President were in perfect accord in all 
matters relating to the surrender of the Confederate forces ; for, 
while the latter had the most implicit faith in General Grant's 
ability as a leader of armies, he had also great confidence in his 
good judgment and humane feelings. 

Grant's most generous treatment of the Confederate army at 
Vicksburg, after its surrender, satisfied the President that he would 
be equally generous to Generals Lee and Johnston. I am quite 
sure that General Grant shared the convictions of the President, 
that we should deal with the Confederates in the most generous 
manner and thereby bring about a lasting peace. 

I was present almost always at the interviews between the Presi- 
dent and General Grant, and, though the former did most of the 
talking, General Grant agreed with him in his views of the situation. 

Thus it was that Sherman, after his interview with the Presi- 
dent on board the River Queen, became impressed with the latter's 
desire to terminate hostilities without further bloodshed, and that 
the most liberal terms should be conceded to his opponents. 

Why it was that such a howl was sent up at the North when 
General Sherman entered into an agreement with General Johnston 
I don't know, especially as that agreement was to be submitted to 
the Government for confirmation. 

There are points in those terms of capitulation which, it seems 
to me, should only have been decided upon by the Government itself, 
which, it will be perceived, is what General Sherman intended in 
the agreement drawn up between him and General Johnston. He 
had been so impressed with the President's views of concluding a 
peace that he desired only to carry out — after his death — what he 
supposed to be his policy, and which, if living, he felt certain Mr. 
Lincoln would have approved. 

At least he would have considered it, and would not have 
"rejected it with the disdain" exhibited by the new President, 
Andrew Johnson, through his Secretary of War, Edwin M. Stanton. 

It seemed to be the policy of the Secretary of War to lose no 
opportunity to throw a stone at those who had made themselves 
prominent in the Rebellion. Even if Sherman had made a mistake, 
his great services entitled him to better treatment than he received 
at the hands of Mr. Stanton. 



318 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

How deeply he felt this treatment was shown when he arrived 
in Washington with his troops, and was invited upon the platform 
whence the President and his Cabinet were reviewing them. He 
deliberately refused to take Stanton's hand when the secretary 
stepped forward to greet him. 

It is now twenty years since the interesting events referred to 
took place ; most of the actors in those scenes have gone to their 
final resting places. The passions which animated men in high 
places have died out, but Grant and Sherman still live, and are 
gratefully remembered by their countrymen for the invaluable ser- 
vices they rendered during the most trying times of the Republic's 
existence. 

After the surrender of General Lee, the President, being satisfied 
that everything would be settled according to his wishes, deter- 
mined to go to Washington, and I was only too glad to have him 
go. I had a strong feeling that something would happen to him if 
he remained longer at City Point. I was so anxious about him 
that I obtained his permission to send an officer up with him, who 
was never to leave his side. For this purpose I detailed Lieutenant- 
Commander John Barnes (the commander of the Bat) to go on 
board the River Queen, and never to leave the President's side, 
even at meals. If I remember rightly, I also sent two ensigns, who 
were to keep watch over his state-room at night. Directions were 
given to have the River Queen thoroughly searched before she 
started, to see if there were any strange men on board, and to 
arrest and confine any strangers who might be found on the vessel 
during the passage up. In fact, no precaution was omitted that 
would insure the President against violence. 

The Bat, as already stated, was a very fast vessel. I directed 
Lieutenant-Commander Barnes to have her run close alongside the 
River Queen all the way up to Washington, and to have her ready 
to render assistance in case of necessity. I had not forgotten how 
the Greyhound had burned up, and how near we had all come to 
being badly burned, or having to swim for it. 

Barnes was further ordered to be armed at all times, night and 
day, and to hold his position of guard to the President until he 
landed him safe in the White House. 

This duty was performed most effectually and agreeably to the 
President, who felt very much pleased to have Barnes about him, 
and made him sit near him at all his meals. 

As soon as the President had arrived safely at the White House, 



PRESIDENT LINCOLN'S ASSASSINATION. 319 

Barnes returned to me. I still felt uneasy, and determined to go 
to Washington myself and see that Mr. Lincoln did not expose 
himself to the attacks of assassins. 

I jumped on board the Tristram Shandy, and directed her com- 
mander to put on all steam and land me in Baltimore, thinking I 
could get to Washington sooner by that route. We arrived early 
in the morning, and I sent a mate on shore at once to get me a 
conveyance to the depot. The mate returned in about twenty 
minutes. His ghastly face told an awful tale ; he could not speak 
when he came into the cabin, but fell upon the sofa and shook like 
an aspen-leaf. 

" What is the matter with you ? " I asked, " Be a man and tell 
me ; is the President dead ? " My prophetic soul told me that 
must be so. It was some time before the man could speak. At 
length he stammered out, " Assassinated ! " and then I knew I had 
come too late. I might, perhaps, have saved his life with my per- 
sistent precautions, which he did not at all object to. I should 
have been about him until all excitement was over, and would have 
impressed the Cabinet with the necessity of guarding his person. I 
am not now, and never have been, given to great emotions ; but when 
I heard of Mr. Lincoln's cruel death I was completely unmanned. 
I went immediately to Washington and saw him as he lay in his 
grave-clothes ; the same benevolent face was there, but the kindly 
smile had departed from his lips, and the soft, gentle eyes were 
closed for ever. 

"There," I said to a friend, ''lies the best man I ever knew or 
ever expect to know ; he was just to all men, and his heart was 
full to overflowing with kindness toward those who accomplished his 
death." I have been satisfied that the persons who called at the 
Malvern were some of the assassins who would have killed him 
there if they could have got on board, and they could easily have 
escaped in the confusion by jumping overboard and swimming to 
the shore, which was not more than twenty yards distant. More- 
over, I do not think that the prime instigator of the deed was 
ever suspected, though I have my own opinion on the subject, as 
also had Senator Nye, that stanch old patriot who held, in the lat- 
ter part of the war, a position somewhat analogous to that of a 
minister of police, or was in consultation, by the wish of President 
Lincoln, with the police authorities of our great cities. He picked 
up many interesting incidents in relation to the President's assas- 
sination which he talked about freely to me ; but he was a prudent 



320 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

man, and a politician, and did not desire to raise questions -which 
might affect liis personal interests in the future. 

Perhaps it was better for Mr. Lincoln's happiness that he died 
-when he did. Had he lived, he would likely have been involved 
in bitter political feuds, owing to his liberal opinions in regard to 
the reconstruction of the States. He was of too sensitive a nature 
not to feel the shafts that would have been hurled at him by those 
whom he thought to be his friends, and he would not likely have 
been permitted to carry out his ideas. As it was, he died a martyr 
to a great cause, and venerated by all those who loved the Union ; 
and while the names of many who held high places in the State 
will be forgotten, the memory of Abraham Lincoln will live in the 
hearts of his countrymen while the art of printing exists — by which 
his name can be handed down to posterity. 



CHAPTEE XXV. 

The following story is supposed to have been written by the 
admiral's coxswain, and is founded on facts. It is somewhat em- 
bellished, as a tale of this kind would naturally be when related by 
a coxswain, since persons in that rating are apt to be afflicted with 
lively imaginations : 

CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 

I was serving on the Lakes during the war when a call came 
from the Mississippi squadron for some blue-jackets. Me and some 
other sailors determined to ship, so we met together and took a few 
schooners all round. 

At the rendezvous we found an old retired sailing master in the 
navy, Mr. Handspike, sitting under a tree with his coat off, trying 
to keep cool, and an old civilian doctor following his example. 

We were the first chaps that had offered, and old Handspike's 
eyes glistened as he looked at the chance of hooking three likely- 
looking chaps, although I rather shook in my shoes when he eyed 
my short leg. 

'* Never mind my leg, sir," I said. *'I am good at beating to 
windward in making a long and short leg of it, though I can't sail 
fast off the wind." 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 321 

"Well," said old Handspike, ** what can you do, Jack, on board 
a man-o'-war ? " 

"Sir," says I, "I can hand, reef, and steer, box the compass, 
heave the lead, and make all the hitches and bends in creation." 

"Ah," says he, "we don't want none of those things in the Mis- 
sissippi navy. Can you catch sheet lightning as it goes by you ? " 

"Yes, sir," I said, " and give it a start of one hundred yards." 

" Can you slide down a water-spout. Jack ? " said the old man. 
*' Dive deeper and come up drier than a mermaid ? Can you timber- 
hitch two catamounts together, can you swim across Niagara River 
heading up stream, can you clove-hitch a stern-wheel boat's shaft 
to a cotton-wood tree, and can you skin a live alligator with your 
teeth ? for them's the kind of boys we want in the Mississippi 
squadron, and we wants lots of 'em." 

" Yes, sir," says I, "I can do all that, and more too ; but my 
name ain't Jack ; it's Jim Blazes, from Ocrakoke Inlet, at your 
service, and I'm Just the fellow you want in the navy to set a tor- 
pedo under the bottom of an enemy's vessel." 

"How will you prove all that, Jim Blazes?" said old Hand- 
spike ; " it strikes me you're pulling rather a long bowline." 

"Well, sir," said I, " here's Jack Tiller and Joe Easty ; they'll 
Bwear to it on *Bowditch's Navigator,' and if you'll write to Ned 
Blinker, on board the ironclad My-Aunt-don't-know-Me, he'll 
tell you he's seen me do all I brag of often's the time. Ned and 
me sailed together three voyages ; he knows all about me ; but so 
does Jack Tiller here ; he's truth itself." 

" Looks like it wastly," said old Handspike. "Well, Jack Til- 
ler, what can you vouch for ? " 

" I don't exactly know, sir, what pint of the compass that is," 
said Jack ; "but this I do know : Jim Blazes is as good a fellow as 
ever robbed an apple-orchard, and he ain't a chap as would pre- 
waricate about such a small matter as you've been talkin' about. 
I never knowed him to slip up on his word mor'n five times in my 
life ; once was when he promised Captain Spanker that he wouldn't 
drink but fifteen * tots ' and would come on board in twenty-four 
hours, 'stead of which he drank about five hundred ' tots ' and stayed 
ashore a week ; and when the captain asked Jim how he come for 
to do it, he said he made a little mistake in his figures ; and the cap- 
tain had such confidence in Jim, and knew that he'd sooner die 
than prewaricate, so he said it was all right and made him a pres- 
ent of a bran new sou'wester." 
21 



322 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

**"Well," said old Handspike, "I see you three fellows are all of 
a kidney, and 1 suppose either one of you can do as much as Jim 
Blazes claims to be able to do." 

"Not quite, sir," said Jack Tiller. ''I can beat Jim on the 
chain-lightning dodge, and Joe can beat him divin', but we're a 
hull team, Mr. Ossifer, and you'd better ship us." 

"Well," said the jolly sailor, "you've passed your professional 
examination, and I'll turn you over to Dr. Lollipop. Put 'em 
through, Doctor, mentally and physically. You diagnose them as 
well as I did in seamanship, and we'll have three of the best fellows 
shipped this season." 

"Well, my man," said the doctor to me, " how old are you ?" 

"My name is Jim Blazes," says I, "sir, but I don't know how 
old I am." 

"What countryman are you ?" 

*'Don't know, sir. My father was Irish, and he married a 
'Scotchwoman. Then my mother died and my father married a 
^Frenchwoman ; then my father died and my mother married a 
Frenchman ; then my mother died and father married an Indian 
squaw ; and then my father died and mother married a member of 
Oongress." 

" Stop there ! " roared old Handspike ; " you're lying now sure." 

"No he ain't," said Jack Tiller ; "it's all true, as I could prove 
to you if I had some papers now on board the My-Aunt-don't- 
know-Me, in charge of tliat friend I spoke of." 

" Well, Mr. Blazes, did you ever have the measles ?" 

"Yes, sir," said I, "three times." 

" And the chicken-pox ? " 

"Yes, sir ; and I've had the small-pox six times." 

" I never heard of such a case before," said the doctor in aston- 
ishment. 

" Oh, yes, sir," said I ; " it's a different disease in different parts 
of the world. In Africa they vaccinates from the rhinoceros, and 
up in the Artie they vaccinates from the polar bear." 

"Well, Mr. Blazes, did you ever have the whooping-cough ?" 

"Frequently," said I ; "and I always cure myself by taking a 
little of Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup. I always carries a bottle 
with me wherever I goes." 

" Let me see it," said the doctor, " if you have any, for I believe 
you're stuffing me." 

I handed but my bottle and the doctor tasted the medicine ; then 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 323 

he took a good swig, and, winking his eye at the sailing master, 
*'ril be hanged," says he, "if this here ain't prime whisky." 

Old Handspike took a nip, and, looking at me sternly, said : 
"Jim Blazes, it's against the law to take whisky into the navy; 
you'll have to leave this bottle with me." 

"No you don't, sir," says I. "I know the law as well as any- 
body, and to guard against all precautions I have labeled that medi- 
cine ' Hop Bitters ' ; that's what all the officers do, and they know 
the ropes." 

The doctor stared at me. " One more question," said he, " and 
I am done with you. Have you cut your eye-teeth yet, Mr. 
Blazes ? " 

We all passed our examination and got our certificates, also a 
passage ticket to Cincinnati, where a Government steamer was to 
take us to Mound City, near Cairo, Illinois. 

To make a long story short, we arrived safe in Cincinnati, not a 
man of us deserting — we were not that kind of rot ; but I mustn't 
forget to mention that old Handspike gave us some ham sandwiches 
and a bottle of soothing syrup to take along with us in the cars, 
so we hadn't the slightest desire to leave our seats. 

When we reached Cincinnati we marched to the United States 
steamer Champion at the levee, and found ourselves, with over a 
hundred other sailors, booked for Uncle Sam's Western navy. 

The captain sang out, " Stand by to cast off ! All aboard ! " and 
told the first officer to sit on the safety-valve, and away we went 
down the river to the tune of "Yankee Doodle," played by a steam 
calliope stuck up abaft the wheel-house. 

I now considered myself enlisted for the war and liable to be 
fired on at any moment by the numerous guerrillas who infested 
the river-banks, and I was ready to fire back as soon as I could find 
out where the muskets were kept. 

Besides the officers of the Champion, we had on board as pas- 
sengers Captain Foster, known as " Corporal Foster," and an aid 
to the admiral, both of whom were going down to join the squad- 
ron. 

Corporal Foster had with him no less than six setter dogs, for 
what purpose no one could imagine. They were the rummest set I 
ever saw — up to all kinds of tricks ; and one brown dog, which the 
corporal called Ned, was a wonderful animal, and could beat the best 
acrobat 1 most ever saw. Ned would take a nip from the corporal's 
flask whenever he was invited, but he would never take a drink 



324 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

from any bottle unless it was marked " Hop Bitters "or " Soothing 
Syrup." 

Such was the discipline of the navy at that time, and such the 
anxiety to conform to the law of Congress against spirituous liquors, 
that no officer or man in the service would take a drink out of a 
bottle unless it was marked '^ Medicine." 

The admiral's aid was a Jimmy-looking youngster, up to his knees 
in a pair of long boots, with the seat of his trousers " re-enforced " 
like a cavalry man. This led me to believe that his business was 
to go about on horseback ; but when I got to learn how things were 
done in the Mississippi fleet, I ceased to wonder, I did not know 
how soon I might be called upon to grapple with chain lightning 
or go to the weather-earring of a smoke-stack. 

Corporal Foster soon got acquainted with everybody in the 
steamer, and there wasn't a sailor there who didn't want to serve 
under his command in case the corporal got one. He said he was 
only a privateer, and was going down without orders to see if he 
could get the admiral to let him have one of the India-rubber iron- 
clads building in Louisville. 

Says the corporal to the aid, " How is the admiral on dogs ? 
Is he weak ? " 

''Well, rather," said the aid ; "he's fond of shooting." 

"If that's the case," said the corporal, " I'm all right. I'll get 
the best ironclad on the river. There's only one man I'll give my 
dog Ned to, and that's the admiral, and he'll kill more birds in a 
day with Ned than he could with twenty other dogs." 

On the 10th of May, 1863, the Champion hove in sight of 
Mound City, and everybody rushed on deck to see the navy-yard. 
I could see nothing but water and trees, with occasionally a chim- 
ney appearing thraugh the woods ; but at last the navy-yard was 
pointed out to me with a large wharf-boat lying alongside of it. 

But, my eyes, what a navy-yard ! It was all among the trees that 
lined the bank of the river. There was ten fathoms of water 
where Mound City once reared its imposing head of fifteen houses. 
The Mayor's house was out of the water, occupying an Indian 
mound, which gives the place its name. 

Everything that was above water was in full activity. All kinds 
of shops for building and equipping a navy were on rafts and in 
steamboats ready for transportation to any part of the Mississippi ; 
indeed, it was not uncommon to see the whole navy-yard get under 
way from Mound City and proceed where it was most needed. 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 325 

As soon as we arrived a signal went up from the wharf-boat — 
** Vessels send to Champion for detachments of men " — and in less 
than half an hour I was on board the Forest Rose bound up the 
Tennessee Eiver. Before I left I made Jack Tiller promise to 
write and let me know everything that went on, and a short time 
after my arrival I received the following letter : 

" Dear Jim : Here I am all ship shape and Bristol fashion 
A, No. 1, copper fastened, and sound in timber-heads, dead-eyes, 
and chain-plates, and app'inted coxswain to the admiral on board 
his flag-ship when he gits one, until which times he and his cox- 
swain hists their flag on board the U. S. wharf-boat suj)posed to be 
lyin' alongside the levee at Mound City. 

*' Well, Jim, perhaps you'll wonder how all this came about, 
and I can only say my good looks done it for me. After we was 
put in line on the quarter-deck of the wharf-boat, the admiral says 
to me, * What can you do, Jack ? ' ' Anything you please, yer 
honor,' says I. With that the admiral picks up a fifty-six-pound 
weight, slings it three or four times round his head, and then let it 
fly at me, saying, ' Catch that, Jack ! ' and catch it I did all over, 
for before I knowed it I was all in a lump on the quarter-deck, and 
didn't know which was me and which was the fifty-six-pounder. 

** * That's lesson fust. Jack Tiller,' says the admiral. * I wants 
my coxswain allers to be ready for emergenses and never to lie when 
the truth will answer better. You'll be all right after bein' with 
me a week,' says the admiral ; *now pick out a crew for my barge.' 

" * Yes, sir,' says I, *yer honor, but there ain't no barge, least- 
wise above water. I'm tole there's an old one down in the mud as 
belonged to Admiral Foote when he fust come out here.' 

" * Never you mind about the barge, Jack Tiller ; that'll come 
afore you know it. Go look after the barge's crew ; no man less 
than six feet wanted, and they must be able to do everything.' 

"Just then Corporal Foster came on board and introduced his- 
self to the admiral, all his dogs sittin' in a row on their stern-sheets 
with their right paw to their forelock, same as if they was a touchin' 
of their hats. 

" The admiral looked at him very stiff, and says he, ' Sir, it's 
customary for officers to call on me in uniform. See Navy Regger- 
lations.' 

" * Why, Lord bless me, Admiral ! ' says the corporal, * if you'd 
only knowed how I've been fixed, you'd give me credit for gittin* 



326 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

here any fashion. I started from Injianner on a mule to jine you, 
and strapped my chist on the critter's back in such a way as I never 
supposed he'd git it loose ; but the fust day out and twenty miles 
from home, blest if he didn't unlash that chist and kick it all to 
pieces. My clothes was so wallered in the mud that you couldn't 
tell a full-dress coat from a ditty-bag. And here I am all stannin' 
in the best I got with my sword on.' 

" 'Sir,' says the admiral, 'the reggerlations forbid any ofiBcer to 
wear any part of his uniform in citizens' dress.' 

''With that Corporal Foster unbuckles a rusty-lookin' sword 
which looked as if it had been lyin' six years at the bottom of the 
river, and, turn in* to the dogs, says, ' Here, Ned, take charge of 
this here sword,' and with that the dog got on his hind legs and 
wobbled to his master, tucked the sword under his arm, and tuk 
his station among his shipmates. 

"Says the admiral, 'That beats blanegan. I think that ^og 
knows mor'n you do, Capting.' 

" ' Jist so. Admiral, and he kin command a squadron as well as 
any officer in your fleet. There's no knowin' what he can't do ; try 
him, sir.' 

"'Ned,' said the admiral, 'tell my steward to bring me and 
Capting Foster a glass of hop bitters.' 

"Ned laid down the sword and scampered off, and in less than 
two minutes he returned draggin' in the steward by the leg with 
the two glasses of hop bitters, which was drunk in no time, and 
bizness perceded. 

" 'Now, Admiral,' says the corporal, 'I brought them six dorgs 
all the way from Injianny jist for you to pick and choose from, an' 
for that matter you can have the hull kit an' biler of 'em.' 

*' I tell you, Jim, the Foster stock went up quicker than I ever 
seed it in Wall Street. If there was any pint the admiral was 
weak on, it was huntin' dorgs, an' I berlieve if he was engaged in 
attackin' a battery an' a flock ov quail flew over, he'd take his dorg 
an' go in persute ov 'em. 

" 'Well, Capting Foster,' says the admiral, 'I'd like 'em all, but 
I h'aint got no flag-ship gist yet, and I'm only boardin' for the 
present on to this here wharf-boat. When I get a flag-ship I'll fit 
'em all up comfortable ; they'll help while away many a weary 
hour.' 

'"What kind of a flag-ship do you want, Admiral?' says the 
corporal. 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 327 

*' ' Well,' says the admiral, ' I want a big double-engine steme- 
bote as can accommydate twenty sekkertaries and clerks, have lots 
of state-rooms, a place for twelve horses, two cows, a lot of hens, et 
cetrur, et cetrur.' 

" ' Good-morninV says Corporal Foster, an' off he went with 
the dorgs to borry a tug of the fleet capting, an' very soon he was a 
steamin' down to Cairo. As he came in toward the levee there was 
a big steamer a comin' up, with her name in big letters between the 
smoke-stacks. Uncle Sam. 

" Corporal Foster hailed her, and says he, ' Lay to ; I want to 
examine your papers,' says he. The corporal went aboard, slapped 
the capting on the back and shuck his hand till he nearly wrung 
his arm out. Says he, ' Where's your papers, Capting ? ' 

"*Why,' says the capting, *I h'aint got no papers, and wot's 
more, I never heerd of sich a thing ! ' 

" * Then,' said Corporal Foster, *I seize you as a prize and der- 
ilick.' 

** ^ A what ? ' says the capting. 

'" K derilick,' says the corporal, 'and you must prepare to go 
along with me.' 

" 'Well,' says the capting, 'I never heerd of no sich perceed- 
in's ; this war has turned everything topsy turvy, and there's no 
more virtue in the land,' says he. 

" ' Wot's your old craft wuth ?' says the corporal. 

'' * She's wuth so much to me,' says the capting, 'that I won't 
sell her.' 

" ' I didn't ask you to sell her,' says Foster ; ' I only intend to 
buy her.' 

" ' It takes two to make a bargain,' says the capting, ' and yon 
can't buy her without my permission.' 

" ' Well, wot is she wuth anyhow, Capting ?' 

" 'Thirty-five thousand dollars,' said the capting, 'and I guess 
it'll bother you to raise the money, for you don-'t look as if you 
could raise five dollars.' 

" ' Fust and foremost,' says Foster, ' I seizes you as a bony fidy 
prize, a derilick without papers on the high seas, for if these aint 
the high seas I don't know what is. Second, I go your thirty-five 
thousand dollars and five thousand better, and close the bargain. 
Third, I seizes you for pub. ser., which takes away all ownership 
from you and rests it in Uncle Sam. Fourth — ' 

"'Hold on there, Mister,' yelled the capting, 'that's enuff. I 



328 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

see plain that sum of them there clauses is goin' to foteh me. I 
cave in ; gimme forty thousand dollars and take the old critter, an' 
my heart's broke.' 

*' ' All right,' says the corporal ; ' steam up to the wharf-bote an' 
we'll settle tiie bizuess. Here, Jack Tiller, take the helm.' Jim, 
you bet I was there, and the way I steered that ole Uncle Sam into 
the wharf-bote was a caution. I only mashed one carpenter-shop, 
sunk the iron-plating department, and broke the paddles oif the 
port wheel. 

" ' She's yourn now,' says the cap ting ; ' you kin do as you please 
with her — let her rip. But on the hole, Coxsin,' says he to me, 
'you done as well as I ever see the navy do in these waters, if not 
a little better.' 

*'The Uncle Sam was soon tied up, and the mechanics was all 
so busy in swimmin' that they didn't notice any irregularities in 
the performance of the everlootion. 

" Corporal Foster walked into the front parlor of the wharf-bote 
with his dorgs, took off his hat, while all the dorgs sat on their stern- 
sheets in the most respectful manner. 

"'Admiral,' says the corporal, 'your flag-ship is alongside, an' 
ready to perceed to sea at a moment's notice.' 

" ' What flag-ship do you mean, Foster ?' says the admiral, and 
jumped up, lookin' out the winder at the big steamer loomin' up 
above the wharf-bote, with a wooden Indjun representin' Black 
Hawk standing up fifteen feet high between the smoke-stacks. 

" 'Jist what I wanted, Foster,' says the admiral ; 'how'd you 
git her ? ' 

" ' She hadn't no papers,' says the corporal, 'an' I seized her as 
a prize. She was a derilick, and I have no doubt she comes under 
the head of flotsam and jetsam. Then I bought her out for forty 
thousand dollars and seized her for pub. ser. the way the army 
does.' 

"'That's the strongest claws of all,' says Foster, 'and when I 
tole the captin you was that kind of a man who, if he wanted his 
great uncle's bones for the pub. ser., he'd take 'em, he caved in. 
The vessel's yourn, with everything a man can want — crew, cooks, 
stewards, incloodin' bed and table linen,' says the corporal. 

" The paymaster was called in and the hull matter was soon ar- 
ranged. The Uncle Sam was ourn and the owner had his forty 
thousand dollars. The captin sat there very melancholy. 'Admiral,' 
says he, ' there aint no more virtue in the land since this war bruk 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 329 

out. You've done bruk my heart ; me an' my old gal as has stuck 
together for thirty years must part. You'll get a flag-ship as is a 
flag-ship ; her upper works is from fair to middlin', but she wants 
an entire new hull ; her bilers were condemned eight years ago, and 
she can't carry only ten pounds of steam. Her shaft is broke in 
three places, but you can't see it for the putty. We keeps six 
siphon-pumps agoin' and the steam pipes all the time. Her steam- 
chist has busted thirty-six times in the last two years, and killed 
four men, and she's bin on fire twenty-two times. She's full of 
rats, cockroaches, and bedbugs, but if her cook can't make the best 
lobscouse and slapjacks in this country I'll eat him. I couldn't get 
no charter,' says the captin, 'for the army wouldn't tech me. I 
tried to get seized for the pub. ser. No, sirree, no one wanted the 
likes of the Uncle Sam. I offered to sell her for twelve thousand 
dollars, but they said she wasn't good for anything but fire-wood. 
An' here in the nick of time comes this navy feller and relieves 
me from all my differculties. Wall, arter all, there's more vartue 
in the country than I thought there was, and I wishes you all a 
good-mornin',' says he; 'and don't forgit Jim Longeye in case 
you wants to buy another bote.' 

" The admiral looked at Foster and Foster looked at the admi- 
ral. 'Admiral,' says Foster, 'I don't believe a word of it, sir, an' 
I'll find out quicker than you can skin an eel,' and he started on 
his inspection. 

" On his way round the steamer he diskivered a big bote twelve 
feet long an' eight feet wide ; so he sends for the carpenter an' or- 
ders her to be cut in two in the middle and lengthened fifteen feet, 
ordered a new bow and stern put into her, new sides, new bottom, 
thwarts, and stern sheets, so that, when she was finished, the ad- 
miral had as nice a barge as ever you see. 

"Corporal Foster was perfectly satisfied with the inspection of 
the Uncle Sam, an' went to work to oust to move the admiral an* 
all his baggage right on board. A bottle of Mrs. Winslow's syrup 
was broke over her bows an' the Uncle Sam was transmogrified into 
Black Hawk, an' the admiral's flag hoisted at the mizzen, an' there 
she was all ship shape an' Bristol fashion. 

*' Foster painted her with three rows of sham port holes, an' if 
she warn't the most dangerous lookin' ship of the line I ever see, 
my name ain't Jack Tiller. 

" When Corporal Foster had fixed the admiral to his satersfac- 
tion he put a brass collar on the dog Ned, with 'Admiral Porter' 



330 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

engraved on to it, an' wen the other dogs seen it, bless me if they 
didn't set on to their stern sheets, with their tongues lollin' out, 
and duck their heads to him, an' they allers arterwards showed him 
the respeck due to their superior officer. 

*' The next day arter all this was done the admiral says to Foster, 
says he, ' Foster, I owe you one ; I'm a goin' to order you to com- 
mand the Indier rubber iron clad Larfyett. She's a double back- 
action, copper fastened, invulnerable A number 1 shi]) of war now 
buildin' in Looeyville. Here's your orders, so git up an' git with- 
out delay.' 

*'The corporal grinned all over, an' says he, * Admiral, you'll 
find ril handle her without gloves,' an' so, makin' his salatn, he 
started for Looeyville. 

" You must know, Jim Blazes, that I'm allers about the admiral, 
an' he can't do nothin' without me ; that's the how and whyfore I 
sees all and hears everything that's goin' on. 

** I can't tell you all the doin's of this here fleet, but I will tell 
you some of the doin's of that remarkable dorg Ned, what I never 
seen the likes on afore. He takes his seat regular right by the admi- 
ral's desk waitin' for orders. He'll empty the waste basket, call the 
steward when hop bitters is wanted, wich keeps him tolerable busy, 
bring the admiral's slippers, and walk in to dinner when it's ready. 

" He's learned to read the steme indykater hisself, an' wen there 
ain't enuif steme on he'll carry a log of wood in his mouth to the 
furniss and make a fireman chuck it in. He'll bark like blazes if 
the night lamps ain't lit in time, an' wen he sees a rebel skulkin' 
on the banks he'll seize a musket from the rack an' pass it to a 
marine to fire. I'm most afrade to tell you all the dorg can do, 
for you're such a allfired whopper teller yourself that you won't 
berleeve anybody wot's telling you a reasonable thing. 

" Why, one day Ned seed a officer a takin' a five gallon demmy- 
john of wisky abord his ship. He seized it by the handle and run 
it right abord the flag, for he knowed as well as any Christian it 
was agin' the reggerlations. Yet he'd let fellers carry boxes and 
boxes of hop bitters on bord an' never sed a word, cos that warn't 
agin' the law. 

" Another time a officer accidentally took the admiral's cap. 
Ned ran after him, grabbed the admiral's cap off his head, ran 
aboard the flag ship, and laid the trofee at his marster's feet. 

" But to hurry up my story. I ain't a goin' fer to tell you about 
the takin' of Vicksburg ; it was tuk, an' no mistake, an' the admi- 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 331 

ral ordered Corporal Foster in the Larfyett to the mouth of Red 
River, an' follered him down in a short time. 

" Wen we got there in the Black Hawk, Foster was a lyin' in his 
vessel at widdow Angler's landin', an we hauled in there likewise 
an' staid several days. 

"The second day two ladies come down to the levee to see the 
admiral, an' was admitted on bord ; an' now, Jim, I'm goin' to tell 
you the funniest thing you ever heern tell on. These ladies had 
already pade Corporal Foster a visit, an' he prepared the admiral 
as to what kind of craft they was. There was all kinds o' craft 
along the river, but we never see nothin' as quite come up to them 
two. 

" These ladies wam't at all put out wen they went in to the 
cabin to find a dozen officers all in uniform. They was both in 
short huntin' skirts, had on high top boots, an' carried double bar- 
reled guns an' fixin's, and each had' a pinter dorg. 

" ' How air you. Admiral ? ' says the oldest one. ' I'm Mrs. 
Angler an' this is Mrs. Jenkins. We're uncommon glad you've 
come, coz all we Union peeple is sufferin' dreadful at the ban's of 
the rebbels, an' we wants pertection,' an' she smole sich a smile as 
no admiral could resist. 

" ' Yes,' says Mrs. Jenkins, * we've bin crazy to see you, an' we 
set up all night watchin' for your lights.' 

" ' Yes, marm,' says the admiral, bowin' low, ' it is deliteful to see 
so much Union feelin' all along the river. Why, they did nothin' 
but fire off guns all the way down, an' the only objection to it was, 
they forgot to take out the shot. In consikence, they bruk some of 
my winders an' killed my best cow.' ^ 

" ' Oh, mi, how shockin' ! ' said the widder Angler. * Deer Ad- 
miral, I'll give you two fresh cows to make up, for I'm Union all 
over, ain't I, Julia ?' 

*' * Yes, dear,' says the widow Jenkins, * an' I go ten better than 
you, for I'll give the admiral four fresh cows with calves.' 

*** Thank you, marm,' says the admiral, 'I borrowed as many 
as I wanted from the Union peeple along the river, but I'm much 
obleeged to you.' 

" ' You've jist come in the nick of time,' says Mrs. Angler. 
*Genral Kirby Smith, C. S. A., is goin' to make a raid on our 
side of the river, an' you kin help me run in my cotting to the 
river bank, where it'll be safe under your guns till I kin send it to 
New Orleens on Ginral Banks's pass.' 



332 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

"'Madam,' says the admiral, 'I can't meddle with these matters. 
It's agin' my orders. I turns 'em all over to the Treasury agints.' 

" ' But, Admiral,' says the smilin' widder, * we is so Union you'll 
make a diffrunce in our case. Besides, Admiral,' she wispered, 
*' wen the six hundred bales gits under your guns you'll get a check 
for twenty thousand dollars for your oldest darter.' 

" 'Thank you, marm,' says the admiral, *but my darters is per- 
vided for ; their grate grand unkil died lately an' left 'em a million 
dollars apiece.' 

" ' Well, then,' says the widder, * it'll do fer your son ; he won't 
turn hiz nose up at twenty thousand.' 

" ' No, marm,' says the admiral, ' certingly not. My son is a 
second lootenant of marines, an' he's already laid up sixty thousand 
dollars off his pay.' 

"'But then yoiTrself, Admiral,' smiled the pretty widder. 
'You wouldn't mind having the money to buy a pretty cottage 
after this kruel war is over.' 

"* Thank you kindly, marm,' says the admiral, 'but I've got 
six cottages aready, an' kin only occupy one at a time. I hev one 
at Newport, one at Cape May, two at Long Branch, a palace in 
Pennsylvania, an' a magnifercent mansion at Annapolis Junction. 
No, thank you, another cottage would be the fether as would brake 
the kamel's bak. Besides, marm, the U. S. Government takes 
most libberul care of me while livin', an' propose at my deth to give 
my wife a penshun of ten thousand a year, with five thousand to 
each ov my children. Besides, I saved over six hundred thousand 
dollars ov my lootenant's pay, an' what would I want more ? But,' 
says the admiral, 'I sl^all be extremely happy if you ladies will 
breakfast with me,' wot was eggsactly wot them two widders 
wanted. They had tried that game with Corporal Foster, an' if 
he'd a bin there a week longer by hisself, or if he'd bin admiral, 
he'd a caved in sure, for they'd nearly reached his price. 

" Lord bless you, Jim, how them pretty widders did rattle away 
at that table under the eilex of the shampane the admiral served 
out to them, while he hisself stuck to hop bitters ! They sailed all 
around him, and flung out their handsomest flags in way of signal. 

" But the admiral was like Nelson at Copenhagen : he alius put 
his spy glass to his blind eye. 

" Then they fired on him with every gun they kud bring to 
bare, at long an' short range, with grape an' shrapnel. Then they'd 
make all sail, in hopes he'd give 'em a chance ; an' when they seed 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 333 

he wouldn't, they'd double reef their topsails an' furl their courses. 
But it warn't no use. He sot and sipped hop bitters, an' nary a 
shot of theirn ever struck him below the water line ; an' wen any 
of his riggin' was shot away he'd splice an' knot it together agin so 
handy that they'd never see how it was done. 

" At last the widders caved in, an' Mrs. Jenkins says, in a pout, 
' Admiral, you hain't got no heart or you couldn't resist the plees 
of two han'som' wimmen.' 

" ' Thank you, marm,' says he, ' jest so ; I never have no heart 
after breakfast, an' if you please, marm, I'll attend now to orficial 
bizness.' 

"'But, Admiral,' sez the widder Jenkins, 'we've come pertick- 
erly to ask you to come a shootin' with us. We have millions of 
game on the place, an' the finest dorgs in Louisianner.' 

**'Now,' says Corporal Foster, 'the admiral's a goner. He 
can't stan' that.' An' sure enuff he couldn't. Says he, 'I don't 
care if I do jist try my dorg Ned, who, I'm tole, is the best dorg 
for huntin' in the world.' 

" Lord, Jim Blazes, how them two smiled all over ! It wos like 
ships in stays an' the sales all beginnin' to flutter. 

"The admiral went an' put on his huntin' cote an' called Cor- 
poral Foster, an' says he, ' Do you know I thinks them are widders 
intends to git me out in the country a huntin,' an' wen my gun 
is fired off to capture me an' turn me over to the rebbels ? So you 
come along too. Jack Tiller, you carry my bird bag, an' put a 
rewolver into your pocket. An' Foster,' says he, 'git us haf a doz- 
en bawl cattriges apeece ; we don't know what fellers these widders 
may have stowed away in them bushes out yander.' 

" But didn't the crew stair wen they see the admiral an' his reti- 
new ! An didn't the widders giggle an' skip along like two young 
deer ! 

"Widder Jenkins says to the admiral, 'Parley voos frongsay ?' 
*No, thank you, marm,' says he, 'not too much,' though the ole 
koon he knowed the French ' parley voos ' like a duck. Then the 
widders began to jabber in French together, wile the admiral he 
tuk in every word they sed. 

*' Says widder Angler, ' I jist want you to cross this feeld an' 
look at my pile of cotton. I know youre hart will relent. Admi- 
ral, wen you see it,' an' she tole the other widder, in French, 'there 
was a pile of fifty bales all by theirselves, an' wen I tell him it's 
hisn it'll fetch him sure ; no man kin stan' that.' 



334: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

*' Just at that moment the dog Ned began to sniff the air, an' 
crawled along to a Virginny fence ; then he jumped on the fence 
and stuk out his tale like a tug's tiller, an' then he turned his hed 
an' looked at the admiral. 

"The admiral crawled up an' looked through the fence ; then 
he let drive both barls, when, hevins an earth ! I never heerd such 
a flutterin' as there was in that field. The Ad. had seen a large 
covey of quail sittin' with their heds together, an' he killed every 
one in the lot. 

" The dog Ned ran off barkin' an' growlin' in a most unac- 
countable manner. All the hair on his back was turned the t'other 
way, an' he looked more like a catamount than a dorg. After 
barkin' hisself horse an' refusin' to be passerfied, he run away clean, 
only stoppin' once to sit up on his stern sheets an' put his paw to 
his nose, as much as to say, *I knows you, Dicky Riker.' That 
was the last the admiral seed of that ere dorg for a long time to 
come. 

" 'Jack,' says the admiral, 'present them birds to the ladies.' 

" ' Does you suppose I'd tech your birds ? ' said widder Jen- 
kins, turnin' up her lip like the clew of a mizzen royal. ' What do 
you take me for ? Why even your dorg is disgusted with you. No, 
sir, I'm a sportsman, not a pot hunter, an' if that's what you 
Yankeys calls sport, I'd advise you not to gun much round this 
country, or you'll get lynched.' The admiral was cool as possible, 
while Missus Jenkins was a bilin' over. Then widder Angler tuk 
it up. Sez she, *Ef I was in reach of a justice of the peece I'd hev 
you arrested, sir, for poachin' an' trespassin'. There ain't a ad- 
miral in the Confed'rit serviss as would hev done sich a thing. It 
maid even your dorg desert the flag, the dirty rag you sale under. 
An' there's Captin Foster looks as if he was a goin' to desart you 
too, an' sarve you right.' 

" Foster didn't say a word, but he looked mighty glum. 

" ' What's up, Foster ?' says the admiral ; *is you a sidin' with 
the ladies ? ' 

" 'AVell, sir,' saj^^s the corporal, 'that's werry sharp practis. I 
an' Ned ain't use to that kind of shootin', an' ten to one he'll com- 
mit sooicide.' 

" 'Not a bit of it,' says the admiral ; 'he's a desarter, an' if I 
catch him I'll try him by court martial an' shoot him. Bong joor, 
ladies,' says he ; 'jer pari frong say Tcomme voo ! ' an' off he walked 
back to the ship. 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 335 

** The widders tried to persuade Corporal Foster to go gunnin' 
•with, them, but he saw the signal from the flag ship where the ad- 
miral had arrived for all ossifers to repare on board. So he hed to 
say good bye to the ladies, an' we didn't see them widders no more. 

**Wen Corporal Foster got on bord the flag, the admiral says 
to him, ' Foster,' says he, ' tliat was a mighty narrer escaip we had. 
Did you see them fellers a movin' among the bushes ? I knew 
wen I slottered them ere birds the two sportin' widders would rile 
up, an' my objec' was to pick a quarrel an' not go no further. 
They'd a had us in ten minutes more.' 

" ' Thunder ! ' says Foster, * who'd a thort it ? now I see it awl. 
Old Sam "Weller was rite about widders, an' no mistake.' 

*'*Well, Foster,' says the admiral, 'this is a lesson to you; 
keep clear of them widders ; don't call on 'em, an' be perticilar an' 
don't take tea with 'em. If you catch Ned, try him an' hang him. 
I'm goin' right up river, an' as you're short ov men, I'll leave Jack 
Tiller an' the barge's crew with you, an' mind, look out for the 
widders.' 

" Haf a hour arter that the flag ship was a boomin' up river an' 
I was under command of Corporal Foster. 

" The fust thing ole Foster did was to stick a long hickory pole 
over the bow an' rig a torpedo catcher, which was a deep net de- 
sendin' below the bottom. 

" That same night there was a tremenjous flutterin' in the net, 
an' the lookout sings out, * We've cotched a alligaiter ! ' 

*' The captin run forrard with a Springfeeld rifle an' sings out, 
* Who's there ? I'm goin' to shoot ! ' 

** * Don't shoot,' hollers out a feller in the net. * I'm a torpedo 
an' I might explode ! ' 

" * Ah,' sez the corporal, ' you're there are you ? Bring up fif- 
teen more Springfeelds an' stan' by to fire wen I tells you. Now, 
Mister, answer my questions or I'll bio' you to smithereens.' 

" ' Anythin' you like, Mister Ossifer, but don't fire. I'm a 
Union man,' 

'^ 'Wot kinder torpeder you got there ?' says Foster. 

*''Two twenty pound dynymite, bound to explode in forty 
minutes,' 

*' ' Let 'em explode then,' says Foster. * They can't hurt us ! ' 

*' *0 Lord ! save me,' says the torpedo. 

" ' Who sent you on this expydition ? ' says Foster. 



336 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

" ' Widder Angler an' widder Jenkins/ says he. 

" 'Jump inter the gig, boys/ says the corporal, 'an' take them 
ere things an' put 'em right under widder Angler's stable ; ' an' 
werry soon we planted them torpedoes accordin' to orders. 

*' We hauled the prisoner outer the net an' stowed him away in 
the cole hole. 

*' Then we sot an' waited, an' in a few minutes if there wasn't 
a commotion in them regions my name isn't Jack Tiller. The 
barn wos full of hay and cotting, an' wen the torpedoes busted the 
explosion sounded like as if a thousand guns had gone off all to 
once. Stones, planks, an' shingles fell around us like hale. One 
old mule lit rite en top of our safety-valve. Then the ruings tuk 
fire, an' the burnin' of Moskow wasn't a circumstance to it. 

" * I guess we're even with them widders, Tiller,' says the cap- 
ting. 'Just look at 'em streakin' across the feeld,' an' sure enuff, 
by the lite ov the fire there was the widders goin' lickety split 
across the country, makin' for the woods, an' they hadn't stopped 
to put on their huntin' soots either — not much ! It struck me 
they looked as much like Wenus as anythink I ever see. 

" Cows, bosses, dogs, cats, pigs, an' chickens was all runnin' 
for deer life, an' it was enuff to make a cat larf to see 'em jumbled 
together an' goin' like mad. 

" That's the last torpeder the rebs ever sot for us, an' I rekon 
wen the rebbel Sekkertary of the Navy heern tell on it he larfed 
t'other side ov his mouth. 

"Just two months arter this a ole nigger come alongside in a 
kanoo, an' says he, ' Massa Captin, I bring you some noos by wich 
you kin make your fortin'. My ole massa is a Union man, an' 
about a week ago the rebs done give him a beatin' with a cowhide 
coz he wud continer to draw his penshon from Uncle Sam. He 
said he'd be a Union man as long as they'd pay him, an' I bleev 
they'd all a done the same.' 

" Then the ole darkey tuk from his wool a small roll of paper 
informin' Captin Foster that some of Kirby Smith's ossifers an' 
men had been haulin' cotton with mule teams to a place three 
miles below the mouth of Red River ; that there was now one hun- 
dred and twenty bales ready for shipment at that point, an' if Cap- 
tin Foster would start that nighte at 12 he would bag all the cot- 
ton, the soldiers, an' the steemer that was goin' to take it to Noo 
Orleens. An' the ole darkey would pilot him to the pint where the 
capter could be maid. 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 33T 

" If there was anything Corporal Foster had a nose for it was 
cotton. I've known him, goin' down the river twelve knots a hour, 
sniff the air an' then give the horder to round to, an' sure enuff 
berhind the levee would be a bail or so of cotting wich he would 
littrally bag. 

"Thare was grate excitement on bord the Larfyette. Fifty 
men was picked out an' armed with Remington rifles, five botes was 
got ready, an' by ten that nite we was all prepaired. 

" Corporal Foster had on a ole suit of gray an' a slouch hat ; 
his trousers were stuck in his boots, au' he looked like a reglar 
hoosher an' no mistaik. 

"The five botes shoved off, the ole nigger goin' as gide in 
charge of two men, who had orders to blow the top of his hed orf 
in case of any trickery. 

" ' I shoodn't be susprized,' says the corporal, ' if I come in 
contact with them two widders before I git back. If I do, an' 
they're up to any of their tricks, I'll give 'em sich a spankin' they 
won't be able to set down for a week,' says the corporal. 

**In an hour we arrived within harf a mild of the place, an' 
then went ashore, leaviu' a few men in charge of the botes, an', 
piloted by the ole darkey, we crawled along under the levee as 
quiet as mice ; an' arter a while the ole darkey pinted out the wag- 
gins, an', by the lite of a fire, the rebs was seen sittin' around eatin' 
their grub very quiet an comfortable. 

" 'Now, boys,' says the corporal, 'I'm goin' in to hold some 
conversation with them fellers. You crawl up towards 'em ; wile 
I'm talkin' to 'em an' amoosin' 'em you creep in an' surround 'em. 
Wen you heer me sing out " Corporal Foster," advance on 'em 
with fixed bagnets, but mind don't fire onless I tell you. Now,' 
says he, 'guard agin all precautions.' 

" The capting walked along, an', on account of the stampin' of 
the mules, the rebs didn't heer him, an' he was right among 'em 
afore they knowed it. He hadn't even a Jacknife to defend hisself 
against the sixteen men the rebs had. The fust thing they knew, 
says he, ' How are you, pards, kin you give a feller some supper ? ' 

"In a instant there was a dozen muskets pinted at the cor- 
poral. 

" ' Who are you ? ' says the leader of the gang, 'an' wot in thun- 
der are you doin' here ? ' 

" ' Wall,' says Foster, ' I ain't afrade, anyhow ; I'm too hungry, 
an' this havin' been made a free country by the Confed'rit Govem- 

22 



338 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

ment, I guess I can peramberlate round without axin' any one's 
opinion. Hev you anything to say to that, Gin'ral ? ' 

"The kompliment of bein' called gin'ral was too much for the 
rebbel ossifer, an' he lowered his musket, sayin', ' Stranger, you 
come mitcy neer gettin' a ball thro' your hed just now, an' you must 
be a darned fool to go wanderin' round among sodgers.' 

" ' I'm allers gettin' into trouble,' says the corporal, ' wanderin' 
round where I oughtn't to, an' I hev three or four balls in my hed 
now in conserkence. The fact is, I seen them cows up thar an' 
was a lookin' for a bucket to milk 'em in. I couldn't use my hat,' 
says he, 'coz it's full of holes.' An' so it was, sure enuff, for the 
corporal used his hat for a target wen he practiced with a rifle. 

"'Look here,' says Foster, 'can't you give a feller a mouth- 
full ? ' 

"'Well, yes,' says the leader, 'pervided you do your share of 
loadin' the steamer when she comes.' 

" ' Of course,' says Foster; Til not only do that but I'll put 
more cotton on board than any three men here. ' 

" * Bosh ! ' they all sung out, ' but if you don't we'll cob you.' 

"'All right,' says Foster, who sot hisself down and began to 
eat so voracious that the rebs thort he was goin' to breed a famin'. 

" ' Grashus heavings!' says the hed rebbel; 'stranger, if you 
don't stop you'll bust your biler ! ' 

" ' I ain't eten nothin' solider 'an milk for three days,' says the 
corporal, an' then he began tellin' stories an' a shoutin' an' a laffin' 
so that they didn't hear us closin' in around 'em. But the captin 
saw the ends of our bagnets as they poked over the levee, an' thort 
it was time to be movin'. Stretching hisself, he says, ' Gin'ral, 
considerin' I'm expected to put most of this cotting on board a 
steamer to pay for my supper, I must say this is the meanest square 
meal I ever sot down to. If the Confed'rit Guv'ment can't do no 
better'n that, it had better git up an' git. On the hull, I berleeve 
I'll shirk my contrack, and won't tech the cotton onless you give 
me a bottle of wiskey an' a boned turkey.' 

"With that the leader of the gang jumps up an' sings out, 
' Seize that feller an' duck him, an' make him drink a bucket of 
river water.' 

" 'As sure as my name is Corporal Foster,' says the captin in 
a loud voice, 'the fust man that moves dies.' An' the rebels found 
themselves covered with 4 dozen rifles. The rebbels subsided to 
wonst wen they found how things was goin'. Our master at arms 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 339 

slapped the darbies on to the men, an' a guard was put over the 
ossifers. 

" 'Now,' says the corporal to the prisoners, 'boys, what do you 
think of the damned ole hoosher, as one of you corled me just now ? 
But don't be fritened ; I won't eat you, notwitbstandin' your bad 
supper. But it was the best you had, an' I'll give you a better one.* 

" ' Here, Mr. Spangler,' says he to the fust lootenant, ' take all 
these peeple back to the karts. I see the lites of the steemer a com- 
in' up. Keep 'em under strick gard, an' if any man tries to signal 
that steemer, or hollers to put 'em on their gard, bagnet him at 
once.' 

" Pretty soon a big fast stemebote come up to the levee and threw 
out her lines, wich our men made fast to the trees. 

" Doorin' this time thirty ov our men was behind the cotton 
bales, an' the moment the gang plank was run out they rushed 
abord, heded by our cheef engineer and assistunts, who tuk charge 
of the mersheenery. 

" Captin Foster walked quietly up to the stemebote captin, who 
had jist lit a pine torch which showed the han'some countenance ov 
our ole freud Captin Longeye, who s6ld us the Uncle Sam. 

" The poor devil was took quite aback wen he saw the corporal, 
an' wen that ole Injannyman tuk from the bak ov his cote a Ar- 
kansaw tooth pick two feet long and hauled a revolver out of his 
pocket, Captin Longeye dropped his torch an' sot down on a box 
cov'rin' his face with his ban's. 'The jig's up,' sez he, 'an' I'm a 
goner agin ! ' 

"'Yes,' sez the corporal, 'you're derilick agin on the hi' seas, 
an' you'll be hung for violatin' the articles of war, wich forbids giv- 
in' aid an' comfort to an enemy. Put the darbys on him,' says 
Foster to the master at arms, 'an' tie him to a stanchion,' which 
was done. Then the corporal lectered him on the enormity ov his 
crimes, sellin' a vessel to the Gov'ment wich he admitted hisself 
wasn't seaworthy. Then committin' piracy on the high sees by 
touchin' cotton which he knew the navee was only waitin' for a 
chance to gobble. Then his consortin' with rebbels, the enemies 
of the Guv'ment, an' last, but not the leest, violatin' the Consti- 
tooshun ov the United Staits in not obtainin' the admiral's per- 
mishun to navergate these waters. ' Horrible ! ' says Captain Fos- 
ter, ' horrible ! ' 

" Old Longeye hadn't a word to say, but could only grone and 
cry, ' I'm a goner ! ' 



340 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

** ' Now, Tiller,' says Corporal Foster, ' you take the wheel, and 
mind you don't sink half a dozen macheen shops and run agin the 
bank.' 

" In three hours we had all the cotton, oxen, mules, and prison- 
ers on board the steemer, an' in harf an hour after we was alongside 
the Larfyett, me a steerin', an' I tell you, Jim Blazes, the way I 
brought that there vessel to her position would a done your heart 
good to see. 

" I only smashed the Larfyette's port quarter bote an' knocked 
orf six paddle bords by runnin' into the tug wich was lyin' astern. 
You never seen a come too done better in the navee, tho' ole Long- 
eye, in his spite at bein' took prisoner, did say to me, ' You know 
as much about steerin' a Mississippi stemebote as a elephunt does 
about dancin'.' The only anser I maid was to put a rope round 
my neck an' hold it up very significant, wen he subsided with a 
grone. 

"Wen we mustered the rebbels on bord the Larfyett we found 
we had the follerin' prisoners : Kurnel Krawfish, C. S. A., Major 
Grayback, Captins Dumplin, Bushhead, an' Leaky, two sargents, 
one korporal, an' eight privates. The ole darky, who had been our 
pilot an' done such good servis, went home before the rebbils could 
ketch site of him, informin' one of our men that he would be along- 
side the Larfyette some fine mornin' with his wife an' eight children 
with a lot of chickens an' turkeys belongin' to the Confed'rits. The 
last thing he sed was, ' \ shall take all the spoils ov the Confeds, 
Massa, an' mo' besides.' 

"Corporal Foster invited the kurnel an' major to mess in the 
cabin, an', supposin' they was tired, showed them to their stait 
rooms. As the kurnel was about to shet his door he says to the 
corporal the fust words he had spoke to him. ' Cap tin Foster,* 
says he, ' the thing I hate wust about this bizness is bavin' to sleep 
a nite under the folds ov the blarsted Union flag ; it's enuff to maik 
a man sick ! ' 

" ' Well,' sez the corporal, ' don't let that trouble you, for the 
last time I spent the nite in that ere stait room it was run away 
with bed buggs and cockroaches, an' I couldn't close my eyes. There 
must be about a million of 'em there now. If you like, I'll lay an 
American flag over the bed, an' the bugs can't get through it, though 
the cockroaches will flop down from the cracks overhead.' 

"Well, you may bet your life Kurnel Krawfish, C. S. A., sub- 
sided, an' we heered no more from him till next mornin'. 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 341 

"Wen the kurnel an' major was called to brekfast their faces 
looked as if they had had small pox. They didn't say nothin', but 
sot down an' et. 

*** Kurnel,' says Corporal Foster, 'here's some spring chickens 
off widder Angler's farm an' some fresh eggs, an' here's some splen- 
did porter house stakes off them cattle of yourn, an' some nice butter 
an' hominy from Captin Longeye's stores. Help yourself, an' eat 
as much as you want, for if all your meals is like that supper of 
yourn last nite you must be allfired hungry.' 

"'Never mind, sir,' says the kurnel, mity dignified; 'every 
dorg has his day, Captin Foster. It may be your turn next, so 
you'd better stop pokin' fun at me ; an' remember, sir, I'm a 
pris'ner. ' 

" ' I sha'n't forget it,' says the corporal, 'an' have doubled the 
sentrys, with orders to put a bullet through the fust pris'ner what 
goes too near the ship's side.' Arter that, ov course the conversa- 
tion warn't animated. 

" The pris'ners had been aboard two days wen Captin Leaky 
come to Corporal Foster an' says he, ' Captin, I've somethin' very 
particlar an confidenshal to tell you.' 

"'Well, start your mill,' says old Foster, 'an' grind out your 
meal,' wich was a figger of speech the ole man sometimes used for 
short. 

"'Well, sir,' says Leaky, 'the kurnel and the major is both 
goin' to be married, an' the weddin' is sot for this day week, an' all 
the preparations is maid.' 
, " 'Jerusalem !' says Foster. 'Well, go on.' 

" ' Now,' says Leaky, 'I'm come from the kurnel to ask if you'll 
parole us long enuff to hav' the seremony performed. Me and Cap- 
tin Dumplin and Bushhead is to be groomsmen, an' the kurnel will 
giv' a solem' promiss to come back the day arter the weddin' and 
stop with you until we are reg'larly exchanged.' 

" ' No, sirree,' says the corporal, ' not if this Court know hisself. 
Why, do you suppose I want to hav' the admiral hang me for aidin' 
an' abettin' the enemy, which he would do easy as rollin' off a log ? 
Not as you knows on. I'm not one ov them kind. Let the wed- 
din' wait. Perhaps arter a time the parties will cool off.' 

"Leaky begged and praid for an hour, tellin' wot a horrible 
condishun they was placed in, an' wot suffrins the captin mite 
save the two lovely hangels wot they was about to lead to the hyme- 
nial halter wen this catastrophy overtook 'em, an' wen all the 



342 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

money they expected to use in gettin' the bridle truesow was gob- 
bled up by the capture ov the cottin. 

" ' May I ask/ says Corporal Foster, ' wot mought be the names 
ov thera two luvly angels as is goin' to lead them hossifers to the 
halter?' 

*' ' Well,' says Captin Leaky, * I will tell you in strick confer- 
dence. Perhaps their naims an' suffrins will tech your hart. If 
you could only know them ladies you would wenerate 'em for their 
yirtoos, innosense, an' beauty. They are so kind an' angel like they 
wouldn't hurt a mouse, an' all their time is spent in works ov chairi- 
ty. Kurnel Krawfish hopes to lead to the hymenial halter the boo- 
tiful Missus Jenkins, my cousin, the widder ov the lait Kurnel Jen- 
kins, who cut his throat six months ago in a fit of delirium tremens. 
Major Grayback proposes to jine hands with the luvly an' accom- 
plished widder Angler, whose late husband didn't come forward to 
jine the Confed'racy wen the war broke out. As it is a case ov 
wife desertion, we pronounce 'em divorced.' 

'"I see,' says Foster. 

" 'Now, captin,' says Leaky, 'I put the matter afore you as a 
hi' toned Kristian gentleman who loves his feller creeters an' who 
can picter to his own gen'rous sole the evils that will foller if this 
weddin' should be postponed, the ag'ny ov them there lovely angels 
whose nites pass in teers owin' to the capter of their future hus- 
ban's, the dispare ov the two noble men you hold as pris'ners, the 
disappintment ov we three young men who have spent three bar- 
rils full of Confed'rit notes buyin clothes an' weddin' presents, an' the 
satisfaction it will give two other fellers who are also courtin' the 
widders an' rejoicin' over the misfortins ov we pore fellers this 
very moment.' 

" *Look a hear. Leaky,' says Foster, * you're a young man, an' 
that's why you talk so much like a idiot. Don't you remember 
wot Sam Weller's father told him — " Don't have nothin' to do with 
widders." ' 

*' 'Yes,' says Leaky, 'but these isn't the common run ov wid- 
ders ; they're angels.' 

"'Jes' so,' says Foster; 'I've heard ov 'em, an' their bein' 
angels may make a diffrunce. But on the hole I like the way the 
Hindews treat their widders ; they burn 'em up ; an' in some ov 
the South Pacific I'lands they like the widders so much they eat 
'em. I've no doubt these officers would do the same six months 
after marriage ; an' by keepin' 'em here until they are exchanged, 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 343 

the widders will marry them other fellers, an' these two gallant offi- 
cers will thank me in the end.' 

***You are a hard harted man, Captin Foster,' says Leaky, 
bustin' into teers an' cryin' like a child. But Foster only said, * It 
can't be done, an' there's no use talkin'. I don't want to be hung, 
an' I won't be for the angelest widder in the Southern Confed'riey.' 

*' Captin Foster seemed to be reel sorry coz he couldn't graterfy 
the young feller ; but Leaky soon got over his disappintment, as 
Foster cheered him up. At last Leaky says, * Captin, I'll thank 
you for a chew of terbakker. ' Then the captin' knowed he was 
saved. 

** Then they talked ov various matters and things till Leaky for- 
got all about the widders an' his unhappiness, till finally he sed, 
* By the way, Captin Foster, do you kno' we captured your admi- 
ral?' 

** ' Captured wot ? ' says Foster, jumpin' up, an' me an* all the 
men as was near closed up to heer wot was sed. 

'"Yes, sir,' says Leaky, 'your admiral is incur possession a 
pris'ner ov war.' 

" ' How in thunder did you hear that ?' says Foster. 

"'Well,' says Leaky, 'I saw him captured. I was thar.' 

" ' When ? ' says Foster. ' Speak quick, or you'll hear from me.' 

" ' Well,' says Leaky, ' it was about three weeks ago we cort him 
swimmin' across the river, picked him up, and hav* had him ever 
since.' 

" ' Bosh ! ' says Foster. ' I heered from the admiral four days 
ago ; he's in Cairo.' 

" ' But,' says Leaky, ' we captured a brown setter dorg with a 
brass collar marked "Admiral Porter," an' we call him the " Ad- 
miral," and if there's one person been to see him after hearin' the 
admiral was captured, there's been a thousand. He's the rummest 
dog I ever seen, an' can do more tricks than a slite ov hand per- 
former. People tried so hard to steal the dorg that the kurnel had 
to detail a gard ov ten men to watch him.' 

" ' Jupiter ! ' says Foster, 'how wonderful is the ways ov Provi- 
dence ! If I hadn't captured this ere party I'd never heerd of that 
ere dorg agin. There should be some compensation in orl things, 
an' I think the kurnel deserves his reward an' his widder. I'll tell 
you what I'll do, Leaky. You can say to your kurnel that I'll ex- 
change your hole party for that dorg, pervidin' he is brought to 
me safe and sound under a flag of truce along with those too booti- 



344 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

ful widders, when the exchanges of tlie officers will be maid out an' 
they can go where they pleas'. Moreover, I pledge myself to have 
maid for the weddin' out ov old Longeye's flour, sugar, and eggs a 
hundred pounder cake for the weddin' feast an' will put into the 
middle ov it a diamant ring wuth not less than a hundred dollars.' 

" ' Will you ? ' says Leaky, his eyes stickin' out with astonish- 
ment, an' away he run down into the cabin to tell the kurnel wot 
Foster had sed. 

** In about haf a minite Kurnel Krawfish bounced on deck, his 
face red as a biled lobster, his hare standin' on end, an' his eyes 
stickin' out. He walked strait up to Corporal Foster, who was busy 
that moment seein' how often he could squirt terbakker juice into 
a spit box. He didn't see the kernel, but, when the old feller sung 
out, ' Captin Foster, how dare you offer me sich a insult ? ' et cetery, 
and so forth, ' Hello,' says Foster, ' wot's up, whose killed, and 
what's soured the milk ? ' 

" * Why,' says Kurnel Krawfish, * you've offered me an' my offi- 
cers the greatest insult one man could offer another, proposin' to 
exchange me for a setter dorg ! ' 

" ' Yet,' says Foster, * Captin Leaky jumped at the offer, an' 
nearly broke his neck in the hurry to get to the cabin. Did he tell 
you ov my proposin' to throw in a hundred pound cake, an' to get 
the two pretty widders here to receeve you an' take you home ?' 

" ' What ! ' says the kurnel, ' does my ears derceive me ? Am 
I alive ? Does any one dare address such talk to me an' live ? ' 

" 'Yes, sir,' says Foster, * I dare, an' there's the shore, an' you 
needn't consider yourself a pris'ner durin' the time you an' I are 
settlin' any little dispoot.' 

*' The kurnel looked as if he would like to jump on Foster, but 
the corporal was six feet four an' had a arm like a blacksmith. So 
the kurnel quieted down an' walked back to the cabin, went into 
his stait room, where he tuck all his meals, an' couldn't be per- 
suaded to come out. 

*' This lasted two days, an' it only wanted five days ov the time 
sot for the weddin', while, as Leaky techingly remarked, ' them two 
angelic widders was a bustin' their harts and weepin' pearly tears, 
every one ov wich was wuth a fortin.' 

" Forternately, greef don't last for ever, an' wisdom comes by 
experience. 

"In the course ov forty eight hours the kurnel wanted to see 
his widder, the major wanted to see hisn, and the three captins 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 345 

•wanted to git the wuth ov the nine barls of Confed'rit munny they 
had spent atween 'em in weddin' presents an' outfits. Major Gray- 
back didn't see things in the same lite as the kurnel, and the three 
captins thought Krawfish a darned ole fool for puttin' on sich 
ares. 

" There was a grate pow wow goin' on all day long for three days 
among the pris'ners, an' they almost wore the cabin ladder out run- 
nin' up an' down. 

*' The rest oy 'em went down on their knees to the kurnel, till 
finally Major Grayback told him he beleeved he wanted to git outer 
his engagement to the angelic Missus Jenkins, an' that the other 
feller who was a courtin' of her would carry her off, an' he hoped 
to dance at his weddin', for wich languidge Kurnel Krawfish said 
he demanded satisfaction as soon as they got on shore. 

" Howsomever, that last remark ov the major was the camel as 
broke the feather's back, an' the kurnel said, ' Do as you dam plees, 
only I shall resine from the army as soon as I am married an' go an' 
establish myself in Timbuctoo. Don't let me,' says he, 'ever see 
that man Foster's face agin, even wen I am leevin' his ship ; an' 
if ever I take him pris'ner I will put him to death on the spot.' 

" ' I don't see how that can happen, Kurnel,' says Grayback, 
' as it isn't likely Foster will ever go to Timbuctoo ; an' if he does, 
you will be so glad to see a white man there you'll embrace him 
on the spot.' 

*' Captin Leaky lost no time in tellin' Foster the kurnel had 
agreed to the exchange, and seemed reddy to bust with delite. 
Foster then handed him the follerin' paper for signin' : 

*'*We, the undersigned, for the mutual benefit ov the Gov'- 
ments ov the United Staits and the Suthern Confed'racy, do cov'- 
nant an' agree to what is hereinafter set forth, whiz : 

"* Captin Foster, better known as Corporal Foster, does agree 
to liberate the Confed'rit officers whose names are sined to this paper, 
an' permit them to return to there homes in exchange for one brown 
setter dorg call Ned, a desarter from the Mississippi squadron, pro- 
vided the said dorg Ned is delivered into the hands of Captin Foster 
on bord the U. S. S. Larfyett, free ov expens to the United Staits, 
within three days' time from dait, wen the Confed'rit officers whose 
naims are sined to this paper shall be allowed to depart with their 
side arms an' effects. 

" * Provided further. That the said dorg Ned, a desarter from 



34:6 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

the Navy ov the United Staits, shall be handid over to the sed Fos- 
ter by those two angelic widders, Mrs. Jennie Angler an' Mrs. Julia 
Jenkins, in person, to whom a recete in full will be given for the 
saim. 

" ' Provided further, That the sed Foster binds hisself to have 
maid a weddin' cake not less than one hundred pound wate, in the 
highest stile ov art, for the weddin' ov the two angelic widders afore- 
said ; which cake he is to present to them on the quarter dek ov the 
Larfyett as a piece maker. 

"'Untowich the hi' contractin' partys do hereunto set there 
bans an' seels this day ov .' 

" This dokkyment was submitted to all the parties consarned, 
who awl agreed to it except the kurnel. He almost jumped out of 
his boots in his raige. 

"He wouldn't here of his fieansay visitin' Foster's ship, an' he 
demanded to see Captin Foster at once. 

" The corporal invited the hull party into the cabin to discuss 
the matter amercably, an' said he would satisfy 'em all that the 
terms was the best in the world for all parties consarned, an' said 
how easy it was for 'em all to get off for only one pris'ner in re- 
turn. 

" ' Do you mene to put us on a par with a dorg ? ' says the kur- 
nel. ' That's ou tragus ! ' 

"* An' then,' says Foster, 'just think ov our lib'rality in pur- 
vidin' a hundred pound cake to eat at the weddin', to suy nothin* 
ov the bootiful present that will be in the insides ov it.' 

" 'Konfound your kake an' present ! ' says the kurnel ; ' I want 
none ov it,' 

" ' Jes' so,' says Captin Foster. 

" 'An' let me tell you, Captin Foster,' says the kurnel, ' I objeC 
to any lady ov my acquaintance, especially one to be connected with 
me by marriage, visitin' your ship under any circumstances what- 
somever.' 

"'Jes' so,' says Foster, 'but let me tell you I heered yesterday 
through an old darkey named Washington Buggs that "hi jinks" 
was bein' plaid while you was away, that Kurnel Fiddles was clean 
gone on your widder, an' she had promised if she didn't here from 
you in five days he should have a favor'ble anser. The kurnel prom- 
ises to spend nine barls ov Confed'rit scrip on the widder in case 
she'll hav him.' 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 3« 

..Kurnel Krawflsh jumped up an' rushed f°»»<' *;;*'''' ^1 
in' 'Woman, thi name is talety,' "Twas always th.s f.om ch>le 

aboY' mentioned startlin' news, did say m my P^^^^^%;!\ , 

at the imenial halter.' ^^^^^ .^ ^^.^^^ 

<' ' Tps' so says roster, out JJiAg,oO oc*j ^:j^o-i. 

accept thftets you offer an' wiU S»J -^ ^^^^^^ C^t 'n 
?rf :ar.efor;:r^"- Aq^^e a oM .;noo! I'U 
"''-'.tVro'tysVor tr^altt p .«in' marred 

-lT-sreFo2^T^i^^^^^^^^ 

cuttiu' OT the pound cake, you must git marred to home 

"After all matters was settled satisfactory, the kurnel held out 

his hand to Foster, an' the corporal shuck it so the kernel had to 

rub it that nite with 0P"f<;W°;H ^ ^^ 

<' Not a moment was lost, an tne lu^ ""', \ ,. „/i +i,o r.rk 

to go up with a flag ov truce an' bring down the lad.es and the pns- 

'"".^itn Oaptin Leaky wrote a letter to ea.h oy the angelic wid- 
ders an' to some other young ladies in the destnck. 

"The tu.' left at two in the arternoon, an' was expected back 
before sunset: »' you may imagine there was joyful t.mes on bord 

*'^^Ab^t"■ve o'clock the tug was reported comin% an' wen she 
gotclt^the quartermaster said as how blue -^ ^^^^^^ ^.t 
fljin', but he cooden't make 'em out. But wen the tug come 



348 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

we see it was the enchantia' widders, an' our dorg Ned in the bow 
a barkin' like mad. 

" As soon as the tug got alongside, Ned jumped abord an' flung 
hisself at Captin Foster's feet ; but the captin didn't notiss the tra- 
tor, but tole the master at arms to put the kriminal in dubble irons 
an' put a gard over him. An' away slinked pore Ned with his tale 
atween his legs an' teers runnin' out ov his eyes like they was pored 
out ov a waterin' pot. 

" Corporal Foster receeved the two ladies at the gangway, who 
jumped abord like two fairys into the arms ov their futur' husbans. 
There was never such joy an' happiness on ship bord since Noer's 
arc grounded on Mount Aryrat. All bans tuck tea that evenin' in 
the captin's cabin, an' kep up the enchantment till late at nite. 

" In the course ov conversation the widder Angler remarked to 
Captin Foster, ' Captin, if you had accepted my invitation to tea 
that nite I asked you, the boot'd a bin on the other leg, an' you 
would now have been in Shreveport.' 

" ' Jes' so,' says Foster ; ' but how so ?' 

" 'Well,' says she, 'I had Major Grayback stowed away in the 
kitchen with eight men ready to carry you orf.' 

" ' Jes' so,' says Foster, ' an' jus' before dusk I seen 'em in the 
distance, an' in case I had gone on shore I had detached twenty 
marines to surround the house. If the major will remember, wen 
he come out that nite he couldn't find his bosses. We captured 
'em, an' not wishin' to cors bloodshed an' stampede your chickens, 
we let matters rest there.' 

" The widder Angler never smiled a mite, an' Major Grayback 
tried to turn the conversation. 

" ' But,' sed the pretty widder Jenkins, * we came neer baggin' 
that ole pot hunter ov an admiral, an' if he'd a gone a mile furder 
we'd a bagged the pare ov you, an' we'd now be showin' you off in 
a cage.' 

" 'Jes' so,' says Foster, ' only the ole pot hunter was wider awake 
than any ov us. Wen he left the ship he ordered twenty marines 
to foller him on shore as soon as he'd got four hundred yards away 
an' keep close to us all the time. Seein' your men in the bushes, 
an' not wishin' to have you ladies accerdenterly get a ball in your 
bussles, he took advantage ov the oppertunity to fire into them 
birds an' distrack your attention. As you got mad an' abused him, 
he pretended to be too, an' turned back ; but if ever you meet the 
officer who commanded those Confed'rit soldiers, he'll tell you he 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 349 

was so hard chased he had to throw off his milingtary boots, an' 
his men had to throw away their guns an' 'napsacs, an' we picked 'em 
all up.' 

" Widder Jenkins didn't smile a mite after this, an' the kurnel 
tried to change the conversation also. 

" Then they all sed they was tired, an' went to bed, the ladies 
sleepin' in the captin's cabin. 

"Next mornin' at eight o'clock the tug was reddy to take all 
the Confed'rits to their homes, an' all sed they was sorry to leeve. 
As they was gettiu' into the tug, Foster says, * Ladies, there's one 
pusson you never asked about, an' that is your torpedo you sent 
down on me one nite, an' who got hooked into our torpedo net. 
We've got him yit, but you kin have him if you want him.' 

*' ' Good Heavings ! ' sed the widders, ' we thort you killed him ; 
you're a deer good man ; do give him to us.' 

" * Jest so,' sed the corporal. ' Master at Arms, bring up the 
Confed'rit torpedo,' an' up come the most remarkable objec' you ever 
see. 

" It was a human bein' stripped to his waste, with the American 
flag painted all round his body an' the Union jack in the middle ov 
his chest. His legs from the 'nees down wos painted with red and 
wite stripes. One side ov his face was blue, t'other side red. Oh, 
but he was a booty ! The women shreeked wen they see him, an' 
the crew give three chairs. 

" But the torpedo was too glad to git away on any terms. He 
dove bed foremost into the tug an' hid hisself among the kole. It 
took him a month to get that ere paint off, for it was dried on an' 
covered with two cotes ov varnish. 

" Well, the ladies waved their handkerchefs an' the men their 
hats, an' the tug was soon lost site ov in the mouth ov Red River. 
The last thing we see was the big weddin' cake on top ov the pilot 
house, but we never agin sot eyes onto them angel widders an' their 
fyansays, but we heered on 'em once more on their weddin' nite. 

"Now, that job bein' off Corporal Foster's hands, he sent for 
the fust lootenant, an' says he, ' I'm a goin' to try Captin Longeye 
an' condem the steemer Lively Peggy for bein' derilick an' for her 
captin affordin' aid an' comfort to the enemy an' for gen'ral de- 
pravity.' 

" * But, captin,' says the fust lootenant, 'a Cort of Admiralty 
can't be established without a act ov Congris.' 

" * Congris be whittled,' says the corporal. * I'll show you that 



350 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

I'm a law unto myself an' can establish any kind oy court I plees. 
Sims the pirate did it, why shouldn't I ? Bring up the pris'ner, 
Captin Jim Longeye.' 

*' The corporal went to his cabin, sot out pen, ink, an' paper on 
his table, and sot down in full uniform to wait for old Longeye. 

" Pretty soon the ole raskle appeered in charge of a orderly an' 
the fust lootenant an' sot hisself down in a chare. * Stan' up, pris- 
'ner, in the presence ov the Cort,' said the corporal, *an' hold up 
your right hand.' 

"Captin Longeye was quite pail an' looked chopfallen. His 
eyes wos red, an' he hed evidently been dosiu' hisself with hop bit- 
ters, ov which the corporal had sent him a full allowance. 

" ' I don't know as I'm a pris'ner,' says Longeye, 'an' I don't 
reckernize enny Cort of Admiralty this side ov Springfeeld, Illinoy.' 

"' Jes' so,' says the corporal, *an' I'm a branch ov that Cort. 
Now, Captain Longeye, you had best be quiet.' 

*' ' Well, sir,' says Longeye, *I spose I must go when the devil 
drives.' 

" ' Jes so,' says Foster. * Now,' sa3's he to his clerk, * take down 
the pris'ner's ansers.' 

" ' I would like to know, Captin Longeye, what you are doin' 
up here consortin' with rebbils an' runnin' off C. S. A. cottin wich 
ov rites all belongs to the U. S. Gov'ment ? ' 

'"You may ask the question,' says Longeye, 'but it don't foller 
that I'll anser it.' 

'"Write down,' says Foster, 'derilick on the hi' sees, givin' ade 
an' comfort to the enemy an' violatin' the articles for the better 
gov'ment ov the navee.' 

" ' I objec' to that,' says Longeye. 

" 'Jes' so,' says Foster; 'rite down "disrespect to Cort — fine 
fifty-eight dollars." ' 

" 'Lord help me !' says Longeye, 'I'm in the bans of the Fillis- 
tines an' must cave in.' 

'"Jest so,' says Foster; 'I'm glad you have come to realize 
your precarious condition, for if you don't swing it won't be becors 
you don't desarve to.' 

'"Now, Captin,' says Foster, 'plees inform me, so help you 
Bob, how much you cleered wen you palmed the Unkel Sam off 
on to the Admiral as a A No. 1 copper fastened ship insured 
Lloyds. You told us you offered her for twelve thousand an' 
couldn't get that.' 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 351 

" ' That was all gas,' says Longeye. ' I was only braggin'.' 

" * Jes' so,' says Fosber ; ' rite down " lyin' an' cheetin' the Gov'- 
ment out ov twenty-eight thousand dollars.'" 

"'No, sir,' says Longeye, 'I only cleered eighteen thousand 
dollars as I'm a Christian.' 

" ' Write down " lyin' " agin,' says Foster ; ' he ain't no Christian ; 
also ''takin' advantage ov the Guv'ment in the hour ov need, wen 
evry man an' cittyzen (except navy ossifers) should come forward 
an' offer all they have for their country's use." One more question, 
Captin Longeye, an' I'm done. 

*' 'Wot was you loaded with wen you landid an' communicated 
with the Confed'rit gov'ment ? ' 

" 'Well,' says Longeye, 'you may ask as many questions as you 
like, but it don't f oiler that I'll anser.' 

"'Jess so,' says Foster. 'Mr. Jedge Advocit, rite down "10 
hogsheads ov hams, 60 barls ov flower, 40 pare milingtery boots, 10 
sets waggin harness, 30 revolvers, 7 hogsheads of sugar, 200 yards 
caliker, 200 pares yarn stockens, 2 baby cradles, 1,000 gallons rifle 
wiskey, et cetrer."' 

" ' Heavins and arth ! ' ses old Longeye ; ' why that was all 
stowed under the cole. I hope the informer will be struck dum.' 

" 'Jess so,' says Foster. 'Now, pris'ner, stand up an' hear the 
sentens ov this Cort : 

" 'You will forfet the 160 bails ov cotton you stole from the 
TJ. S. Guv'ment. You will forfet all them stores with wich you 
intended givin' aid an' comfort to the rebbels, an' you will pay 
down ten thousand dollars, the amount you swindled the Guv'ment 
out ov wen you sold us the Unkel Sam. You can pocket the eight 
thousand extry, but you don't get outer mi bans till you pay up 
the balance.' 

" ' Where in blazes am I goin' to git ten thousand dollars from 
wen I ain't got ten sents ? ' says old Longeye, in a rage. 

" 'Jess so,' says Foster, 'but we found gist eighteen thousand 
dollars stowed away in that caliope ov yourn wich wouldn't play 
no how. So our engineer he tuk it to peeces an' found the munny. 
We'll just take ten thousand out an' you kin return the rest to the 
feller what it belongs to ; no doubt you'll very soon have him en- 
quirin' for it.' 

" Longeye fell on the deck as if he was shot, an' Foster says, 
* Gentlemen, the case is closed agin' the pris'ner, an' the Cort 
stands ajourned siney dye.' 



352 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

"All the officers an' men who had assembled at the cabbin 
doar to witness the proceedins applorded the just desision of 
Corporal Poster, an' wen we got on the forecastle we drew up 
ressolushuns votin' Corporal Foster a regular brie', an' recom- 
mendin', without a dissentin' voice, that five thousand dollars 
shoold be divided at once among the crew ov the Larfyett, under 
the hed ov salvage, an' the rest be pade to them wen they was dis- 
charged, under the hed ov prize money. 

"In the meen time Captin Longeye lay like a dad man, altho 
the corporal pored near a gallon ov hop bitters down his throte, 
sayin', ' Let him injoy awl he can wile he lives.' 

"Arter awhile he begin to sigh, repeetin' the immortal "Web- 
ster's last words — ' I ain't ded yit ' — wen the corporal gave him a 
big tumbler ov the bitters, an' Longeye sot up on his elbo' an' 
looked all round. 

" Wen his eyes rested on the corporal, says he, ' You'll ketch it 
for this, I tell you ; you'll shake in your butes wen you hear I 
come up on a pars from Gin'ral Banks. An' here it is ' — pullin' a 
paper outer his pocket an' readin' as follers : 

*' * Kno awl pussons that Captin Jim Longeye is authorized to 
proseed up river to sich points as he may seleck in the steemer 
Lively Peggy, an' open traid along the river, an' all ossifers ov the 
U. S. Gov'ment are cawled on to give him ade an' encouragement 
an' not to throw any hobstacles in his way wen hopening traid an' 
follerin' his legitimate bizness. 

" * Given under mi hand an' sele this 26 day ov June, 1863. 

"'Banks, 
"'Major Gin'ral, &c., Sc.^ 

'' ' Jess so,' says Poster, *an' wen you git back thar, if ever you 
do git back, you jist say to Gin'ral Banks or enny other gin'ral that 
I'm the commandin' gin'ral in this ere diocese, an' I reckernize no 
passes that don't come from the Admiral who is kommander in 
cheef on these hi' sees. 

" 'Now, Captin, I'll let you go with the Lively Peggy, coz I'm 
sartin to ketch you agin at derilick matters in less than a month. 
You hed better keep along with you a bag ov ten thousand dollars, 
as that'll be the amount I shall ginrally assess you. I shall divide 
your stores among me an' mi ossifers an' men. An' now' — spekin 
to the fust lootenant — 'let him go an' compleat his kargo.' 

" Captin Longeye went o2 a wiser if not a better man, an' after 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 353 

transferrin' all his cottin to our dispatch bote, the Gin'ral Lion, 
"wieh had just arrived, he steemed down the river fritenin' all the 
birds from their roosts with the horrible music from his darned ole 
calliope. 

" Ten days arterward we see a bote pullin' up the other side ov 
the river with two men in her, an' wen she got hi' enufE up to al- 
low fur the currant, she struck across fur the Larfyette. 

** Wen the bote come alongside, who should appere but Marcus 
Aurelius Washington Buggs, the kullered gentleman who piloted 
us to the plaice where we captured the rebs an' cottin. 

*' Mister Buggs was accompanied by his father, who helped him 
pull the bote, his wife, eight children, his mother, granfather an' 
granmother (who was parrylized), six dorgs, four piggs, an* 
chickens too numrous to menshun. 

*' Besides awl this, in the stern sheats ov the bote was a quantity 
ov fine furniture, beddin', lookin' glasses, et cetrer, et cetrer, an' as 
Marcus Aurelius rose up in the bote an' wiped his forhed, he sings 
out, * Here I is, Massa Corp'ral Foster ; I tole you you see this ole 
darkey agin soon.' 

<< < Why, where did you come from, Marcus Aurelius, an' where 
are you bound ? ' says the corp'ral. 

" ' Well, Massa,' says the ole nig, * I'm jist come from spilin* 
the Egyptians, an' escaped from 'em troo de Eed See, an' I comes 
to recebe de pertecshun ov de Union flag.' 

*' 'But,' says Corporal Foster, 'how did you come by that nice 
furniture ? ' 

'' ' Well, I'll tell you, Massa, an' wen I done teU you you'll say, 
*'Well done, good an' faithful serpent." 

"'You must know, Massa Foster, dat dat ar weddin' took 
place six days ago wid de two ossifers an' de two widders, an' since 
dat time dars bin a cooin' like turkle doves. 

" ' Yesterday they kinder waked up an' maid up a gran' pick 
nick, an' all the village jined in. Yesterday mornin' dey all 
startin' intendin' not to come back till ten o'clock at nite. 

*' ' Dere wasn't a wite pusson lef in de village, so wen dey was 
all out ob site I went to wuk spilin' the Egyptians rite an' lef, an' 
wen I had as much as my bote would hole I put out wid my famly 
an' here I is, tank de Lord, 'longside Massa Abe Linkum's gum- 
botes.' 

"'Why,' says Foster, 'you ole raskle, I call that stealin' or 
robbin', praps both. You'll be hung if they catch you.' 

23 



354 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

" * Well, Massa Foster, it's a hard ting to tell wot's the diffruns 
'tween steelin' an' robbin' or takin' in time ov war. You takes a 
bale ov cottin' wen you sees it lyin' on the levee, an' you rides orf 
on a hoss widout askin' who ones him, an' you walks inter a house 
an' takes wot prize you likes, an' you takes steembotes an' sugar 
an' cotton from peeple wot don't owe you nuffin. I only tuck my 
wages, Massa. Me an' mine hev wucked fur dem peeple goin' on 
morn a hundred yeers, an' they ain't pade us a cent. So we Just 
help ourselves to pai^t payments until we get a chance for de rest. 

" 'I'me tired ob libin' souf, an' me an' my fambly feel de want 
ov a more northern climate, specially arter spilin' de Egyptians. I 
kalkerlates our massa owes dis fambly 'bout eighteen thousand dol- 
lars fur de wuck we don fur dem, an' we pade ourselves in part — 
dat's all dere is to it.' 

*' 'You are a suttle kasuist, Mr. Buggs,' says Corporal Foster, 
'an' know how to draw nice distinctions.' 

" 'No, Massa,' says Marcus Aurelius, 'I ain't as bad as dat, no 
how, leest wise I don't know wat kind ov a animal dat is, as all I 
know ov drawin' is drawin' water an' totin' wood.' 

*' 'Well, Granny,' says the corporal to the ole woman, 'how is 
you gettin' on ? ' 

" ' Me, Massa ? ' says the ole woman ; ' my name ain't Granny ; 
it's Eebecker ; my ole man he's name's Isack. We's ole colored 
pussons ov de olden time ; we done live togedder sixty yeers like 
Isack an' Eebecker wat de Skripter tell about, an' in all dat time 
we nebber hab a diffrunce ob opinion.' 

'"'Ceptin',' says Isack, 'dat time wen you cut my hed open 
wid de meat ax, an' dat odder time wen you done knock dese front 
teef out wid a flat iron.' 

" 'Yes, honey,' says de ole woman, 'we did disagree once a lit- 
tle about Mirandy Bobtale, but dat warn't noffin, nohow.' 

" 'An' Eebecker,' says Isack, 'you remembers de time you trow 
hot bilin' water on my foot an' laid me up fur two week ? ' 

" ' Yes, chile, but I only intended fur to scall your big toe wat 
you was a warmin' by de fire, an' was a tryin' to stick it inter de 
hoe cake. Dat was accident.' 

" 'Dat's so,' says Isack, 'an' I muss say youse bin a blessin' to 
me dese long years.' 

'" Massa,' says Eebecker, 'I just wants some infermation. As 
Marcus Aurelius says, dis climate don't agree wid us nohow, an' 
we tinks ov movin' to Sarrytoga or Nooport, whar I'm told de 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 355 

olimate is wen-y salubrious, an' I'm tole de quality is gwine away 
ebrTsummer to Yewrip, au' we kood git a cottage dar o„ resonable 
terms I got in dis yer bag a hull pile ov Oornfed'nt greenback , 
uuTto livf on all my life. I'sc atey (84) foor now, au' Isack ,s 
uinetv two, an' I gess dis'U las us till our time come. 

-I only know ov two houses to let iu Newport just now,' says 
Corporal Foster; 'one is Mr. Belmont's an' the other Mr. Lori - 
S but I guks you kin git ether on 'em at resouab e ia.ts. 
Now g alongside the Gin'ral Lion an' deposit your spies, an, 
iCus AurelL, come back an' tell us about the weddm . 

<<Sothc boat shoved oil an' shipped all the darkeys on board 

*'"Th;n Marcus Aurelius Washington Buggs returned an' re- 
portid that he had deposited his passengers '^f'*"^*" °''™f '^ , 
"^ ."Now, Mister Buggs,' says Foster, 'tell us about the wed- 

din' ' 

'■' ' Well, Massa Oaptin,' says Buggs, ' it was thusw.se : 
.. ' Lots ov peepil was invited to see do ceremony at de house ob 
Gin'ral Bla.es, de unkel ob de widder Jenkins, an' de perform- 
ance oh de nui shall cerrymony was done by ole Bishop Crabtree, 
who tie de parties togedder so fass nuffin can ebber loose 'em. 

'"Ebry ting wa^ splendid-de brides was dress in der wite 
sattins an' lace wails an' gole slippers, an' allde jewelry dey could 
noke on em, an' dus dey was 'scorted inter supper Dar was a 
toble f°^l ob grub fit fur a prince to set down to, an' all dat w»^ 
w^tin' to make it purfexin was a rale ole Tirgmny possum stnfled 

'''' "'Tar was de big poun cake loomin' up Hke a eight tousan 
bail team bote, an' ebry eye was upon it. Dar was two cross mark 
on it wTar de nife was to be stuck wen dey went fur de rings wot 

^°" "Brwidder tuck a nife, an' wen de wurd was give dey socked 
'em in up to de handle. Den come a eggsplosion like a pistil, wen 
ae widders drappcd de nives an' hollered like a hous on fire. 

T'^Den evry one sing out " Torpedo ! " an' sich a gittin outer 
doors yon neber did see. Dey all run like so many rats, an some 

"' T.S^olTdrrty crawl under de table an' lay dere waitin'^ 
Fus I heerd suthin goin' like a 'larm clock, then somethin' struck 
™ a chune den some little bells rung, den de music go on oust 
Z' anTnin' dat dis ting go on adfernitum, an' no more e.plo- 



356 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 

shun tuck plaice, dis ole nig poke out he hed an' look at de cake, 
an' dar I see de most bootiful ting dis ole nigger neber saw befo. 
I open my eyes wid amazement, an' so cumfustered was I dat I 
thunk I was in parradise. I saw dat dar was no harm dar, an' I 
shouted to 'em all to come back an' see a 'mazin' site. 

*' 'It warn't no use tellin' 'em de trufe for half a hour, an' den 
I succeeded in gettin' 'em all to come back too de weddin' feest. 
An' wot you think I see, Massa ? 

'' 'Dar was de poun' cake wid de top blowed orf, an' dere was a 
bootiful figger ob liberty wid de Union flag in her han' a leanin' 
ober a kullerd gemman in chanes, an' a motter in her odder han' — 
"Freedom to de slabe." An' she was a 'knockin' orf de shakles (as 
was on de kollered gemman's legs) wid a hammer. An' wat you 
tink dem shackles was ? Wy two bootiful gole rings sot with dia- 
mants marked with eech widder's name, an' as they teched dem the 
musikle box plaid "Hale, Kolumby" an' den " Yankey Doodle," 
an' den dey all listened kind o' tranced until it woodn't play no 
mo', an' den you mought a heerd a pin drap. 

" ' Den de grooms went up an' tuck de shackles offer de cullud 
gemman's legs an' put 'em on de ladies' fingers, an' dey embraced 
each odder an' shed teers. 

" '"Deer Captin Foster," says the widder Jenkins, "I'd kiss 
him six times ef he was here ! " " And I," says Mrs. Angler, " would 
guv him twenty ! Wy dese yere rings mus' a coss foor barls ov 
greenbax. If de kurnel an' de major had a known what dey was 
about, they'd a presented us with suthin' ov this kine for 'gagement 
Tings, an' den dar wouldn't been any fuss about Kurnel Fiddles." 

" ' An' then ebry one gib three chairs for Captin Foster, an' dis 
ole nigger an' his posterity gib twenty — an' dat's all dere is ob it, 
Massa Captin. 

" 'De weddin' was kep' up till nex mornin' an' "Yankee Doo- 
dle" an' "Hale Columby" was plaid all nite long, an' dat's de fust 
spark o' Union feelin' I eber see.' 

" ' I am much obleeged to you, Mr. Buggs,' says the corporal, 
*fur your interestin' narrytive,' says he, 'an' here's five U. S. one 
dollar greenbax for you, bran new ones at that, an' they're wuth 
morun ten barls ov Confed'rit notes.' 

" Mr. Buggs's eyes opened wide as sorcers ; he had never seen 
anythin' like it before. 'Wy,'says he, 'de Confed'rit greenback 
bears no mo' comparison to dis dan a skunk does to a elephunt.' 

" ' Now,' says the corporal, ' get along on bord the Lion ; thar's 



CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 357 

the last bell ringin',' an' Mr. Buggs, bein' anxious not to lose his 
passage, shuck bans with everybody an' started, an' we never saw 
the Buggs fambly agin. 

" Well, Jim Blazes, my tail drors to a klose. I hev only to say 
that Captin Foster reported the general fax ov the case to the ad- 
miral an' wrote a ofl&cial letter about Ned the desarter, ov wich this 
here is a troo coppy : 

" ' U. S. S. Larftett, Mouth ov Red River, 
" ' 6th, 1863. 

" ' Admiral : I beg leeve to inform you that the desarter dorg 
Ned is now in my persession an' in dubble iruns under gard ov a sen- 
try. I cannot, as you directed, try him an' hang him without a 
fully orthorized cort, an' I hev not officers enuff to form a cort. 
The cort should consist ov 13 to impress the squadron with the im- 
portince ov the occashun an' show 'em that dissipline mus' be 
manetaned an' disloyalty punished, an' I think this a case wher 
the mos' extream penerlty ov the lor should be sarved out. 

*' ' I hav some witnesses hear, but if there needs any evidence to 
show that the brown setter dorg Ned consorted with the wust kind 
ov rebbils, I recomommen' that a kullerd gentleman by name ov 
Marcus Aurelius Washington Buggs, now on his way North in the 
Gin'ral Lion, may be suppeeneyed. If Mr. Buggs should pass thro* 
Moun Citty without your nollege, he can be found at Newport, 
Rode Hand, where he an' his famly propose to taik up there resi- 
dunce in ether the Biddle cottage or Bennet manshun. 
" '1 hav the honnor to remane 

" ' Corporal Foster, 
" 'Major Gin'ral commandin' this diocees.^ 

" The admiral larfed harty you bet wen he red Foster's letter 
an' heered the hull story. He sent another ossifer to releeve the 
corporal, ' for,' says he, * I must hav him neer me, for I shall liv twice 
as long if I kin hav the corporal to maik me larf.' 

" I have lots ov good things to tell you, Jim Blazes, which will 
keep until you heer from me agin. 

** I remane your ole shipmait in the grane bizness, 

''Jack Tiller." 

THE EKD. 



BY ADMIRAL PORTER, 



Allan Dare and Robert le Diable. 

A ROMANCE. By Admiral Poeter. Illustrated by Alfred 
Fredericks. Two volumes, 8vo. Paper, $2.00 ; cloth, $3.00. 

"Admiral Porter is the latest distinguished accession to the list of authors. 
He produces not a work on navigation but-a novel. Men of all professions are 
trying their hands at romancing nowadays. Admiral Porter need not be a raid of 
comparing his work with that of some professional novelists. The admiral ex- 
chTs the curiosity of the reader with a great deal of artfulness. The story has a 
Ctery towSthe author is leading'up with much skill; he displays humor, 
touches of pathos, and a knack of sketching characters."-^^'; ^ork Journal of 
Commerce. 

"All wonderfully vivid, exciting, and picturesque, with enough plot and inci- 
dent already to furnish out some half-dozen ordinary novels. Admiral Porter has 
surprising vigor and freshness of style in narration of picturesqueness in descrip- 
tion of scenes and incidents, and of vividness in character-sketching His .tory 
is wildly improbable, but it rivets the attention, nevertheless, and holds it s.eadily 
by its force, originality, and daring."— Boston Gazette. 

"Since the Earl of Bcaconsfield's time, no famous man in_ public affairs has 
written a novel that could excite public interest more than this one. -Fhiladel- 
plda Bulletin. 

The Adventures of Harry Marline ; 

OR NOTES FROM AN AMERICAN MIDSHIPMAN'S LUCKY 

BAG. By Admiral Porter. With Illustrations. 8vo, 378 pages. 

Paper, $1.00; cloth, $1.50. 

These life-like and stirring adventures were written by the admiral for the 

amusement of his boys ; and, thinking it better for people to laugh than to cry, 

the author has put them into book-form. The picture of the midshipmen m the 

olden times will delight our middies of the present day. 

" ' Harry Marline ' is written in the racy manner that ought to characterize 
every account of doings at sea. In reading it one is brought face to face with the 
stern and humorous reality of a midshipman's life. The descriptions are most 
exhaustive; the humor of the driest; the cock-and-bull stones— yarns we be- 
lieve they be called aboardship— the cockiest-and-bulliest afloat ; the satires upon 
the green Secretaries of the Navv (of those old days) the keenest and most satis- 
factSry There is hardly a page that does not excite the risibilities involuntarily, 
and after one closes the volume delightful memories remain. The admiral de- 
serves the title of 'our later Cooper' or perhaps, by reason of his deep stratum 
of humor, that of the Marryat of America. There are several illustrations, well 
designed and executed."— ^ar(/brc/ Evening Post. 

New York: D. APPLETON & CO., 1, 3, & 5 Bond Street. 



ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR 
IN THE UNITED STATES, 

By Brevet Major-General E. D. TOWNSEND, 
Late Adjutant-General U. S. Army. 



12mo Cloth, $1.25. 

" The work treats in a very pleasant conversational way of various events and incidents, 
around which our interest lingers, and of which much is here said that has hitherto been unsaid. 
Among the topics upon which the author dwells, and which may be cited as giving an idea of the 
scope and nature of his work, are General Scott's loyalty, the defense of Washington, the neutral- 
ity of Kentucky, Early's invasion, service in the Adjutant-General's office. President Lincoln's 
funeral. Fort Sumter, origin of military commissions, Army of the Potomac commanders, etc." — 
Washington Daily Post. 

" General E. D. Townsend, who was Assistant Adjutant-General on the staff of General Scott 
at the outbreak of the rebellion, and who continued to discharge the same functions during the 
civil war, had of course opportunities of acquiring much curious information. Some of the facts 
thus brought to his knowledge he may never feel at liberty to divu!t,'e, but there i.s, on the other 
hand, a good deal which the lapse of time has made it proper to publish. Such of his recollections 
as belong to the latter category are now set forth in a medium-sized volume called "Anecdotes 
of the Civil War." General Townsend's stories are related in an entertaining way, and, even 
where they bear somewhat severely on the character or motives of the persons named, seem free 
from any propensity to exaggerate or t.aint of malice. The personal reminiscences of a man 
holding confidential relations to men in high authority might be expected to throw light on sev- 
eral obscure transactions, and this will be found to be the case." — iV«« York Sun. 

"General Townsend's book is all interesting." — New York Army and Navy Journal. 

" An agreeable intermingling of personal anecdotes and historical statements. Full of useful 
information."— iVew) York Home Journal. 

"The General bore an important and honorable part in the struggle, and has the rare gift of 
telling briefly, humorously, and pathetically of what he saw and heard during all the eventful 
years." — New York Journal of Commerce. 

" General Townsend has much to say of individuals, and a kindly spirit animates all his com- 
ments. Numerous incidents are related that are wholly new to the reader, though he be an 
inveterate newspaper peruser or reporter, and they can not fail to interest the most casual reader. 
The old soldiers of the great contest will enjoy these recitals." — Boston Commonivealih. 

" Another of those contributions to the inner history of the war which are not only interesting 
to the curious reader, but form valuable material for the future historian. Much is told of Gen- 
eral Scott which is interesting ; we get some new anecdotes concerning President Lincoln, and 
there is an account of Secretary Stanton which will be likely to modify the harsh criticism of hinj, 
of late more prevalent than ever. The book abounds in quotable material, which we regret that 
our space does not permit us to transfer to our columns." — Dosion Gazette. 

"No man in the United States is better qualified to gossip pleasantly upon the great events 
which twenty years ago were in everybody's mouth than Brevet M.ijor-General E. D. Townsend. 
His anecdotes are not only remarkably entertaining, but they throw a light upon many vexed 
questions which will prove of infinite value to the military historian." — New York Commercial 
Aaverluer. 

" The author writes in a charitable spirit of Scott, Stone, Lee, Euckner, Eurke, McClell.in, 
Blair, Sheridan, Stanton, Lincoln, and many others. General Townsend fully disposes of tho 
malicious rumor that Stanton committed suicide. These anecdotes are well worth buying and 
reading from beginning to end."— iVe;^ York Christian Advocate. 



New York: D. APPLETONT & CO., 1, 3, & 5 Bond Street. 



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